Is this wrong?

[akw94]

I really want to wear my mom''s veil. She had it shipped from her parents home here and is having it cleaned b/c it yellowed a bit. Now, I''m not sure it will work given the color but if it does, I kind of want to have it shortened. It''s pretty long now, don''t know the official term but goes beyond the length of a dress I would pick. Is it ok to ask her to shorten it? I certainly wouldn''t want to offend my mom but I do really want to wear it, I just want it to be more me.
So just wondering what you guys think.

 

[VRBeauty]

You should probably wait until you''ve selected a dress and try it on with the dress. If at that point you still want to shorten the veil, ask your mother. My guess is that she''ll be thrilled that you''d want to use her veil, shortened or not... but that''s just a guess.

 

[kcoursolle]

Have you asked your mom about it? If she''s okay with it, then I say go for it. However, I woud bring up the subject carefully if you haven''t talked to her about it yet.

 

[akw94]

MINIMS, I have talked to her about using the veil and she is happy about that, but I wouldn''t want her to think I''m ruining it or don''t like it. Good idea about waiting to see the dress w/the veil first. I just sort of assumed it would work w/whatever dress I pick or that I''d pick a dress that works w/the veil.

Kcoursolle, No, I haven''t asked my mom about changing the veil. I asked her initially about possibly wearing the veil, so she had it shipped to her. We looked at it and it was very yellow, plus had a tear that had to be fixed. So she''s getting it cleaned. I''ve just been thinking about it and think that I''d like a shorter veil. I will bring up the subject carefully, as you suggested. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings b/c wearing her veil really does mean a lot to me.

Thanks!

 

[NYCsparkle]

well if your mom would be upset at changing it, maybe you could wear it for the ceremony and change veils afterwards

 

[ellaila]

My first thought was, "It''s not like your mom is ever going to wear it again so why would she care?!" Most people I know that have worn something that was their Mom''s have altered it in one way or another. It''s the symbolism of wearing something handed down that is so special, not the actual idea of being your Mom''s bridal twin, right?

Unless there is something really spectacularly special about this veil, I can''t see why anyone would object to you altering it for your own wedding. Just my two cents!

 

[akw94]

Thanks NYC and Ellaila!

NYC, if I kept the veil it''s original length, I''m sure I''d just take it off and not wear it at the reception. Actually, I hadn''t thought that much about the reception part. Do you usually keep the veil on at the reception? I''m almost positive I''d want to take it off no matter what. It would have to be pinned to my hair somehow and I can''t imagine myself wanting to deal w/that for 3-4 hours. So many things to consider? Do you think it''s common for the bride to change veils? I never even considered that.

Ellaila, thanks for your input! I guess I''m worrying too much about this but just wouldn''t want her feelings to be hurt. If I do decide to wear it though, I will ask her if she''s open to having it shortened. If not, I wouldn''t feel bad and hopefully she won''t feel bad either.

 

[dmamsquared]

If my daughter expressed an interest in wearing any part of my bridal attire, I would expect her to want to customize it to make it her own. That''s just me. Run it by your mom and see what she says. Once you take the scissors to it, there''s no turning back!

 

[akw94]

Thanks for the response Dmamsquared! When we went wedding dress shopping, I asked my mom if she would mind if I shortened it and she said she wouldn''t mind at all. I feel better now and am so glad she''s ok w/it!