Is this unreasonable?

[bubbly1126]

So here''s my question:

Since we''re now getting married in October but still having a ceremony (a renewal of the vows) and the reception in June as planned, would it be reasonable of myself and FI to ask my parents to just let us get married now without the family there?

I know my parents and I know how bad they want to be there and I can understand that they may be upset by this as the wedding next June won''t *actually* be the *big special day*... since we''ll have already been married. BUT, on the other hand, I feel that the ceremony and such in June WILL BE *the big special day* b/c everyone, including FI''s family from Italy and Georgia, will be coming to witness. We would like to save all of that excitement for everyone on one very special day, in June.

I know no one here has no control over how my parents react to waiting until June to see us actually say our vows, but what I am asking is if you think it''s a reasonable request? Or do you not see it the way I do and agree with my parents?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Absolutely reasonable!!

I would look at it like a couple who is getting married overseas and needs to have two ceremonies.

The first is the practical, official part, getting the job done if you will.. because you guys need to be legally married to move into your new apartment.

And then the second ceremony would be the one where you celebrate it all with your family and friends!

I think it would be completely reasonable to do something like this especially when you plan to get married next month!

 

[LilyKat]

I think it''s perfectly reasonable to ask and see if they come round to it. I do get that you don''t want to attach emotional significance to the October ceremony. But, I can also understand why they might be upset. I think a wedding has two parts - the legal side, and then the emotional side with all the excitement. I know my parents would want to be part of both, even if they were at separate times. I don''t think it would take away from the excitement of the second to have them there at both - just add another special day.

 

[cindygenit]

It is reasonable. It is what I am doing so it HAS to be reasonable