Is the type of women a man dates any indication...

[TravelingGal]

of what he may be like?

Just thinking of Sandra Bullock and the guy she married. He was married to an adult film star who was into drugs, I think. She also apparently wasn''t too responsible when it came to taking care of her kid (or maybe it''s kids...don''t know how many she has).

I have no idea what Bullock is like in real life, but when she married him, I thought...hmm....not sure if this is a wise choice. Something about him...whether it was HIM or the fact that he was attracted to an adult film star drug addict and married her made my spidey senses tingle. I''ll admit, I don''t know much about the backstory at all.

And now he''s cheated on Bullock with another woman, who apparently had no issue with sleeping with a married man. 24 years old, college graduate, and now in graduate school (according to the article I read). Heavily into tattoos (just stating this as a fact, so tattoo lovers, don''t come after me with pitchforks!) Has been or is a stripper.

I don''t care what women choose to do with their bodies, and I never have. But I do wonder what kind of men actively pursue and want relationships with the women who take up these types of professions. And if it says something about their ability to stay faithful.

I don''t think I''m making sense...hm.....

 

[jewelz617]

I think people''s "type" can change. As people mature, they realize what they want or don''t want out of a partner. Some guys date party girls for years and then realize they want a family, and want a more grounded motherly woman who will raise their children. It''s just about growing up.

But to me, it almost seems like Jesse James wanted someone to turn him around. And that''s not a fair situation to put anyone in. That''s setting your partner up to fail. People only change if they genuinely want to better themselves. And he apparently did not.

 

[iheartscience]

I see what you''re saying and I agree, TGal. I would never in a million years even date someone (let alone marry!) a guy who was previously married to a **** star with a drug addiction. To me, the people you choose to spend time with (either SOs or friends) say a lot about you. And I don''t think "married to a **** star with a drug habit" says anything good about Jesse James.

 

[Indylady]

Is the type of women a man dates any indication of what he may be like?

Sure, at least most of the time. Like minded, or rather, like valued, individuals often date. If one partner often engages in an illicit activity that the other doesn''t partake in or approve of, its probably not going to last. To have a somewhat lasting relationship, an individual has to approve and be a part of their significant other''s lifestyle...so, when individuals date, I do think they often have much in common and that its an indication of what the other is like; birds of a feather flock together. Yes, of course, this isn''t a rule, but I do think that it does hold true for the most part.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

DH and I were talking about this last night. I think JJ has a rock star complex and with that comes groupies and **** stars. I agree with PA in that I think he was looking to SB to turn him around, which is noble, but unrealistic.

As for the more general question, I don''t always think previous types are a signifier of character. Different people have different needs at various points in their lives. If you grow and allow your needs/desires to grow as well, you''ll most likely end up with someone who is appropriate for that stage of development. However, if you refuse to grow up, you''ll still be dating 18 year-olds when you''re 40.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:22:33 PM
Author: thing2of2
I see what you''re saying and I agree, TGal. I would never in a million years even date someone (let alone marry!) a guy who was previously married to a **** star with a drug addiction. To me, the people you choose to spend time with (either SOs or friends) say a lot about you. And I don''t think ''married to a **** star with a drug habit'' says anything good about Jesse James.

Big ditto.

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:19:32 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678
I think people''s ''type'' can change. As people mature, they realize what they want or don''t want out of a partner. Some guys date party girls for years and then realize they want a family, and want a more grounded motherly woman who will raise their children. It''s just about growing up.

This. You should have seen the women my DH dated before me - some of the girls here have seen pictures of her, it isn''t pretty. Not to say I''m some huge catch, but at least I don''t show so much SKIN. Ugh.

Jesse gives me the same feelings, TGal. He just screams skeevy.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Yes, and I would go a step further and say that women SHOULD be asking about the types of women any potential boyfriend has previously dated and use that information in their decision to pursue the relationship.

When it comes to the man you date and/or intend to marry, you can afford to be very picky.

My sister is married to a man who had a slew of relationships with immature, emotionally needy women prior to their relationship. My sister thought that those relationships were a result of my BIL being young and immature. Turns out, he''s still immature and attracted to "crazy" women...the divorce proceedings are in process.

I do genuinely feel bad for Sandra Bullock. She seems very down-to-earth and I was glad that she settled down with a non-celebrity type...I feel bad that she''s going through this, especially since she was so active in the custody-battle between Jesse and his ex.

 

[decodelighted]

Well -- it can backfire too. Would the women Tiger Woods was publicly "dating" EVER prepare someone for the fact he was REALLY into **** stars & party girls & trampy types?? I mean, he MARRIED the Nordic "good girl" -- sweetheart former nanny, natural beauty, very reserved etc. And look at Bill Clinton & John Edwards'' choices -- HILARY & ELIZABETH. John F. Kennedy: JACKIE? We know now all these men has QUITE different tastes behind closed doors.

From what I''ve seen of Jesse James in interviews and on his show & on Celeb Apprentice, he seemed VERY intelligent, thoughtful, respectful, creative and so much different than his outward appearance might portray. I can see how she''d be attracted to him & want to believe that he''d just made the same kind of relationship mistakes we''ve all made from time to time (especially when young/naive/reckless).

Its so upsetting. Probably because she''s been portrayed as a commitment-phobe who finally let down her guard. And now its backfired on her so publicly EIGHT DAYS AFTER HER MOMENT OF TRIUMPH. Gah. Sads.

 

[janinegirly]

I was just going to bring up Tiger Woods...

My impression of Jesse James (before this) was that he was a "what you see is what you get" kind of guy and at least he was honest about his preferences and actually married the **** star. I figured he was over that phase and had moved on-he seemed genuine in that sense. Clearly that impression was wrong though!

I think I''m more bothered by those who repress whatever fantasies they have and then act out in secret..ugh!

Still yes..I would agree that prior dating/marriage record is something to take into account in terms of future behavior..b/c it is part of that person''s past like it or not. But it''s just one of many factors.

 

[rierie26]

Does anyone else get creeped out when they look at his eyes in photos? Not because they''re so light, but they just seem to send out creep vibes to me.

If a guy dated some drug-addicted **** star, I''d definitely think twice about dating him, but if a guy has made some dating mistakes in the past, I wouldn''t let that stop me from seeing him (but being wary). People make mistakes, go after attraction/lust, etc. Eventually, I think most people realize the mistakes they''ve made, learn from them and start dating people who are much better suited to them.

While I don''t know their relationship, doesn''t it seem like she chose him cause he''s so different from her? The girl who plays these sweet romantic roles and the heavily tattoo''d car guy? Maybe he was her chance to be wild without alienating people? Who knows. Feel bad for her though, she''s seems very nice in interviews.

 

[joflier]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:42:56 PM
Author: Kitcha
Does anyone else get creeped out when they look at his eyes in photos? Not because they''re so light, but they just seem to send out creep vibes to me.

If a guy dated some drug-addicted **** star, I''d definitely think twice about dating him, but if a guy has made some dating mistakes in the past, I wouldn''t let that stop me from seeing him (but being wary). People make mistakes, go after attraction/lust, etc. Eventually, I think most people realize the mistakes they''ve made, learn from them and start dating people who are much better suited to them.

While I don''t know their relationship, doesn''t it seem like she chose him cause he''s so different from her? The girl who plays these sweet romantic roles and the heavily tattoo''d car guy? Maybe he was her chance to be wild without alienating people? Who knows. Feel bad for her though, she''s seems very nice in interviews.

Yes. He just has an angry look to his eyes.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:22:33 PM
Author: thing2of2
I see what you''re saying and I agree, TGal. I would never in a million years even date someone (let alone marry!) a guy who was previously married to a **** star with a drug addiction. To me, the people you choose to spend time with (either SOs or friends) say a lot about you. And I don''t think ''married to a **** star with a drug habit'' says anything good about Jesse James.

Phew, because I wasn''t sure what I was trying to say.

I don''t know Jesse James, never seen him except in photos with Sandra Bullock and what I read in the press. Never saw his show. I just read an article awhlie back about the custody battle and thought it was sad.

I think I''m being judgmental here, and trying to think through why. As Deco said, the guy might be a million good things, but I just got the weird sense about him from that one thing that I read. And I think his image as a bad boy lets him go after what the type he''s interested in, whereas Tiger, Bill, etc. need to marry the "right" kind of women for their image.

 

[VRBeauty]

Sure it is. But people do make mistakes, or they grow and change. Sometimes waking up and realizing what type of person you''re with, or seeing patterns in past relationships, is the catalyst for change.

 

[decodelighted]

Even with all the good qualities I saw in Jesse James, I can''t imagine ever *marrying* him. I''m too judgmental as well. I *do* think the ****-star ex would have skeeved me out too much. Tattoos, hair, look, divorced, kids, profession: all of those things would be workable. ****-star ex: nope. And, sorry to say, "recovering addict" might have been a dealbreaker for me. (Which he is & he''s spoken about publicly). Its just a *riskier* choice. Because I know *myself* & what a handfull *I* am & it would be a bad match for *me*. Not because I think its a clear cut choice for *everyone*. Absolutely not.

More info is coming out about the chick & it is AWFUL. White power/nazi stuff. Off-her-meds bi-polar. Lost custody of her own kids. Strips under her SON''S NAME. Shoots **** at her house with kids there. And on & on. There are also rumors that this is going to blow up into a Tiger-sized scandal w/more women coming forward. Same types. Jaw-dropping Sicko Tramp time.

There''s something quite broken in him. Sandra''s equipped to handle it I believe. His school-aged, in the public eye KIDS: not so much.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 3/19/2010 2:18:05 PM
Author: decodelighted
Even with all the good qualities I saw in Jesse James, I can''t imagine ever *marrying* him. I''m too judgmental as well. I *do* think the ****-star ex would have skeeved me out too much. Tattoos, hair, look, divorced, kids, profession: all of those things would be workable. ****-star ex: nope. And, sorry to say, ''recovering addict'' might have been a dealbreaker for me. (Which he is & he''s spoken about publicly). Its just a *riskier* choice. Because I know *myself* & what a handfull *I* am & it would be a bad match for *me*. Not because I think its a clear cut choice for *everyone*. Absolutely not.


More info is coming out about the chick & it is AWFUL. White power/nazi stuff. Off-her-meds bi-polar. Lost custody of her own kids. Strips under her SON''S NAME. Shoots **** at her house with kids there. And on & on. There are also rumors that this is going to blow up into a Tiger-sized scandal w/more women coming forward. Same types. Jaw-dropping Sicko Tramp time.


There''s something quite broken in him. Sandra''s equipped to handle it I believe. His school-aged, in the public eye KIDS: not so much.

Did you see her Nazi themed photo shoot?

 

[upgrade]

I feel really, really bad for her. I obviously don''t know her but she appears to be a very sweet, down to earth girl and she must be devestated and so embarrassed that this is happening so publicly. It''s made worse by the fact that days before she was so public about her love for him and vice versa through the Oscar interviews...

I do agree that people gravitate towards different types depending on where they are in life. I think though, that anyone who would be attracted to a drug addicted **** star is just not someone I would be bringing home to meet the parents! My dh read a great quote on the paper yesterday about this situation and Jesse James specifically: "Trash always finds the gutter"

It''s a bad situation all around. I really feel bad for his little girl- it doesn''t sound like she''s had much stability in her life and given that Sandra Bullock isn''t her mother, who knows where that relationship will go now...

 

[princesss]

I think it depends on when the guy dated them. If he was young, I''m more inclined to be open minded (though not to the kind of woman JJ married before - I''m honestly just too insecure to get past her profession and what it requires). Plenty of people make mistakes in their late teens/early twenties but get their heads on stright a little later.

It really sucks that it''s coming out right after her Oscar (and especially after that speech, and what was a really touching moment with her letting her guard down and mentioning him).

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I feel horrible for Sandra and his kids. I feel like she might have been the one point of stability in their lives and from what I''ve read she loves those kids like they''re her own.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Maybe they had an open realtionship? I''m just sayin''... I just find it hard to believe that Hillary, Elin, and Sandra did not know about their husband''s penchant for slutty women.

I would look at past choices for sure.

One thing I think is important to look for is that you match his physical or emotional *type*, if he has one. I had two serious boyfriends prior to my husband. In both cases I was counter their type, as evidenced by most of their other known attractions, and girlfriends, and eventual wives. The first liked blond, shy women. I am neither. The second seemed to like loud rather abrasive skinny women. While I may be the former I am not the latter. Neither relationship worked and I think a part of it was that I was simply not their ideal, among other things.

DH likes zaftig women who are dominant. He had a lot of teacher fantasies growing up. Check check

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Not sure I understand the question. Before I married I dated a lot of MD''s and was engaged to one. In general, this profession is known to have a high rate of alcohol and drug abuse and according to another thread on here

, cheating. What does that say about either of us?

cheers--Sharon

 

[movie zombie]

i read a long time ago that the man a woman dates and/or marries says more about her than him.........what she actually thinks about herself is revealed in that/those choices. i agree with this statement.

mz

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 3/19/2010 1:22:33 PM
Author: thing2of2
I see what you''re saying and I agree, TGal. I would never in a million years even date someone (let alone marry!) a guy who was previously married to a **** star with a drug addiction. To me, the people you choose to spend time with (either SOs or friends) say a lot about you. And I don''t think ''married to a **** star with a drug habit'' says anything good about Jesse James.

Ditto! although I also think that people''s "type" can change - but I would need to see very clear evidence of that before I would ever (theoretically.. I''m married!) a man who had chosen a type of partner in the past that I have substantial issues with.

 

[joelly]

I think the following proverb applies to Sandra Bullock''s choice. "When you lay with dogs you get fleas".

 

[icekid]

Date: 3/19/2010 5:38:42 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:


Not sure I understand the question. Before I married I dated a lot of MD''s and was engaged to one. In general, this profession is known to have a high rate of alcohol and drug abuse and according to another thread on here

, cheating. What does that say about either of us?

cheers--Sharon

Actually, physicians do not abuse alcohol/drugs at a high rate. It is the same rate as the general population. So I don''t think that says anything about you nor physicians.

But I would absolutely not date/marry a man who was with a **** star/drug abuser. What can that possibly say about his judgment???

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 3/20/2010 3:03:03 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 3/19/2010 5:38:42 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:


Not sure I understand the question. Before I married I dated a lot of MD''s and was engaged to one. In general, this profession is known to have a high rate of alcohol and drug abuse and according to another thread on here

, cheating. What does that say about either of us?

cheers--Sharon

Actually, physicians do not abuse alcohol/drugs at a high rate. It is the same rate as the general population. So I don''t think that says anything about you nor physicians.

But I would absolutely not date/marry a man who was with a **** star/drug abuser. What can that possibly say about his judgment???

HI:

Apologies for the misinformation--thank you for the correction Icekid.

cheers--Sharon

 

[iota15]

Date: 3/19/2010 8:43:41 PM
Author: movie zombie
i read a long time ago that the man a woman dates and/or marries says more about her than him.........what she actually thinks about herself is revealed in that/those choices. i agree with this statement.

mz

I like that.

I also agree with Deco above that I''ve seen JJ''s shows and he does appear to be an intelligent, thoughtful man.