is proposing on a holiday a no-no and do I have to get another present?

[azbuyer]

If I propose on the anniversary of when we met, does the engagement ring count as my present?

Just wondering if that is a bit cheap and like trying to do a 2-for-1 deal....same goes for proposing on one''s birthday, etc...

 

[Herfnerd]

JMHO, but proposing on the anniversary of when you met is fine, although as a guy I still don''t get that date being ''special'', LOL

And as for proposing on a holiday where gifts are normally exchanged - YES, you need to give a ''normal'' gift in addition to the ring! The proposal should be treated as an event in and of itself - double dipping will only get you in trouble with your girl!!

 

[bobbin]

I think it is fine for the ring to be counted as an anniversary gift as well, however I could see many girls getting annoyed with that.

My view is that engagement rings are ridiculously expensive as it is, I wouldn''t expect my SO to get me another gift on top of that (but we do not give anniversary gifts anymore). If it were me, the fact that there wasn''t a separate anniversary gift wouldn''t even cross my mind as I would be so over the top happy and excited about being engaged. However, if you feel like your girl will be one of the ones who would feel slighted by this, maybe make her something special (and cheap) or buy n inexpensive gift that has some kind of special meaning to the two of you.

 

[jewelerman]

On the day you met would be a great day to give her the ring as a gift.But on a holiday or birthday...no...the ring is a ring of engagement...not a birthday or christmas ring...i agree that the engagement is an event unto itself.

 

[azbuyer]

Date: 7/28/2008 4:13:03 AM
Author: jewelerman
On the day you met would be a great day to give her the ring as a gift.But on a holiday or birthday...no...the ring is a ring of engagement...not a birthday or christmas ring...i agree that the engagement is an event unto itself.

Thanks - I clearly see the difference between an anniversary present and a birthday or christmas present. But I think she may think I am double dipping a bit so maybe something more token as the anniversary present would be fine. I just rather put the extra coin into the engagement ring than have to get a ring + something else thats really nice. I normally give jewelry on anniversary so thats why she may be expecting something else.

thanks for the tips

 

[PrincessDijon]

I will actually be doing the legwork of the proposal...I will be doing it on his birthday and will be disguising the day as just a birthday celebration with just a birthday present...So I agree that if you do it on a "holiday" take care of the holiday business first and then sneak the proposal in afterward!!!

Just my two cents.... but everyone is different....

 

[jcarlylew]

if it happened to me (but then again i''m not everyone..) i would be soooo excited that i was getting engaged, i would not expect a second gift on my birthday or anny. But then again, when those days come up, i usually would rather go out to dinner to someplace fancy than have a gift.
However for christmas, i will agree with others and say that it should not be the only gift. I KNOW it sounds materalistic, but even little presents would be great too. And it can be done on a budget as well.


good luck!!

 

[absolut_blonde]

I think a ring & proposal is a fantastic anniversary present! In that instance, I don''t think you need anything more than that at all. But then, we dont make a super huge deal of our anniversaries -- we went for dinner & I got flowers for our 1 year. We would never exchange, say, $500 presents for our dating anniversaries.

If it were a birthday proposal or something, I''d get some flowers and a card as the ''present'' to go with the ring. That''s a nice gesture.

 

[trillionaire]

If you propose with a ring and she is mad she didn''t get anything else DON''T marry her!

lol.

No, but seriously... focus on a great meaningful proposal for both of you, and go for it. I would look at you crazy if you had another gift, unless it was a spoof gift to throw me off (something weird or cheap, like an awful crystal statue, haha)

 

[AStack75]

My fiancee thanked me for proposing on it''s own date and not on a holiday, etc.

 

[Deelight]

Personally if my FF proposed to me on our anniversary I would be over the moon with the proposal and my new sparkly

If your really worried maybe get a bunch of beautiful flowers and take her out to a yummy dinner .

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/27/2008 3:07:33 PM
Author:azbuyer
If I propose on the anniversary of when we met, does the engagement ring count as my present?

Just wondering if that is a bit cheap and like trying to do a 2-for-1 deal....same goes for proposing on one''s birthday, etc...

I thought women LIKED to be proposed to on their anniversaries! Because after you get married, you no longer commemorate that day, so it kind of gives it a special memory and importance that is always going to be remembered... then on to wedding planning and the big day, lol!

however, I will say that from the LIW board, women get very worked up for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries assuming that boyfriends will propose on those days. So if you are going for a complete surprise, do it just before or just after your anniversary, and she probably won''t see it coming! It would be fabulous to celebrate your anniversary as an engaged couple, and I am sure that would make it THE most special anniversary. (if you propose ON your anniversary, it is going to be hi-jacked by her calling everyone that she knows, trying to take pictures of the ring and sending them to people, etc!) If you propose before the anni, you can get a small sentimental gift, or anything related to wedding planning (future- Mrs. _____ stuff), or something like that. She will eat it up! If you want to go expensive, maybe buy a session for an engagement photo shoot

Lastly, if you are NOT proposing for your anniversary, but you KNOW that she is expecting a proposal soon, try to be careful not to say or do things that will lead her to believe that you are. You don''t want her to cry herself to sleep from disappointment. (yes, this happens, no it is not always the fault of the guy, but a lot of women get really amped up thinking it is coming, and they fall apart when it does not.)

*sorry this was long... *

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 7/30/2008 4:39:33 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 7/27/2008 3:07:33 PM
Author:azbuyer
If I propose on the anniversary of when we met, does the engagement ring count as my present?

Just wondering if that is a bit cheap and like trying to do a 2-for-1 deal....same goes for proposing on one''s birthday, etc...

I thought women LIKED to be proposed to on their anniversaries! Because after you get married, you no longer commemorate that day, so it kind of gives it a special memory and importance that is always going to be remembered... then on to wedding planning and the big day, lol!

however, I will say that from the LIW board, women get very worked up for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries assuming that boyfriends will propose on those days. So if you are going for a complete surprise, do it just before or just after your anniversary, and she probably won''t see it coming! It would be fabulous to celebrate your anniversary as an engaged couple, and I am sure that would make it THE most special anniversary. (if you propose ON your anniversary, it is going to be hi-jacked by her calling everyone that she knows, trying to take pictures of the ring and sending them to people, etc!) If you propose before the anni, you can get a small sentimental gift, or anything related to wedding planning (future- Mrs. _____ stuff), or something like that. She will eat it up! If you want to go expensive, maybe buy a session for an engagement photo shoot

Lastly, if you are NOT proposing for your anniversary, but you KNOW that she is expecting a proposal soon, try to be careful not to say or do things that will lead her to believe that you are. You don''t want her to cry herself to sleep from disappointment. (yes, this happens, no it is not always the fault of the guy, but a lot of women get really amped up thinking it is coming, and they fall apart when it does not.)

*sorry this was long... *

Actually, I totally agree with all of this! If you''re going to be proposing anyway and your anniversary is soon, then I''d consider proposing beforehand. Not only will this surprise her (she might be expecting it ON the anniversary), then you''ll both be happy on your anniversary -- and she''ll probably be more relaxed, to boot.

 

[stone_seeker]

Date: 7/30/2008 4:39:33 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 7/27/2008 3:07:33 PM

Author:azbuyer

If I propose on the anniversary of when we met, does the engagement ring count as my present?


Just wondering if that is a bit cheap and like trying to do a 2-for-1 deal....same goes for proposing on one''s birthday, etc...

I thought women LIKED to be proposed to on their anniversaries! Because after you get married, you no longer commemorate that day, so it kind of gives it a special memory and importance that is always going to be remembered... then on to wedding planning and the big day, lol!


however, I will say that from the LIW board, women get very worked up for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries assuming that boyfriends will propose on those days. So if you are going for a complete surprise, do it just before or just after your anniversary, and she probably won''t see it coming! It would be fabulous to celebrate your anniversary as an engaged couple, and I am sure that would make it THE most special anniversary. (if you propose ON your anniversary, it is going to be hi-jacked by her calling everyone that she knows, trying to take pictures of the ring and sending them to people, etc!) If you propose before the anni, you can get a small sentimental gift, or anything related to wedding planning (future- Mrs. _____ stuff), or something like that. She will eat it up! If you want to go expensive, maybe buy a session for an engagement photo shoot


Lastly, if you are NOT proposing for your anniversary, but you KNOW that she is expecting a proposal soon, try to be careful not to say or do things that will lead her to believe that you are. You don''t want her to cry herself to sleep from disappointment. (yes, this happens, no it is not always the fault of the guy, but a lot of women get really amped up thinking it is coming, and they fall apart when it does not.)


*sorry this was long... *

I agree with this 100% !!! Great advice that I''m sure many guys struggle with.

 

[azbuyer]

Date: 7/30/2008 4:39:33 PM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 7/27/2008 3:07:33 PM

Author:azbuyer

If I propose on the anniversary of when we met, does the engagement ring count as my present?


Just wondering if that is a bit cheap and like trying to do a 2-for-1 deal....same goes for proposing on one''s birthday, etc...

I thought women LIKED to be proposed to on their anniversaries! Because after you get married, you no longer commemorate that day, so it kind of gives it a special memory and importance that is always going to be remembered... then on to wedding planning and the big day, lol!


however, I will say that from the LIW board, women get very worked up for birthdays, holidays and anniversaries assuming that boyfriends will propose on those days. So if you are going for a complete surprise, do it just before or just after your anniversary, and she probably won''t see it coming! It would be fabulous to celebrate your anniversary as an engaged couple, and I am sure that would make it THE most special anniversary. (if you propose ON your anniversary, it is going to be hi-jacked by her calling everyone that she knows, trying to take pictures of the ring and sending them to people, etc!) If you propose before the anni, you can get a small sentimental gift, or anything related to wedding planning (future- Mrs. _____ stuff), or something like that. She will eat it up! If you want to go expensive, maybe buy a session for an engagement photo shoot


Lastly, if you are NOT proposing for your anniversary, but you KNOW that she is expecting a proposal soon, try to be careful not to say or do things that will lead her to believe that you are. You don''t want her to cry herself to sleep from disappointment. (yes, this happens, no it is not always the fault of the guy, but a lot of women get really amped up thinking it is coming, and they fall apart when it does not.)


*sorry this was long... *

Trillionaire...amazing advice. I read your post 4 or 5 times and I think you are absolutely right. Sure, she would be thrilled to get engaged on our anniversary and i''m sure "other presents" would be the last thing on her mind. But you''re right....it may be expected. I havent been hinting at it too much but we have discussed what kind of rings she likes, etc. We live together so I think she''s pretty sure i''m going to propose eventually!! And we have talked about rings many times before. But even though she knows its coming it would be cool to surprise her earlier than she might be expecting it so maybe doing it after our anniversary may be a disappointment. A lot to consider but I''m so excited I wish I had the ring so I could propose tonight but I want to make it special and just wanted some opinions on the whole multiple gift thing since its so close to our anniversary and her birthday is also like 2 months away.

anyway, thanks for the advice. I do have some ideas brewing.

 

[trillionaire]

good luck! And don''t post tooooo much info if she is a PS snoop!

I have a birthday in less than a month, and an anniversary a month later, so I wouldn''t be "totally surprised" if either resulted in a proposal, but I would still be excited. No matter what, she is going to be thrilled! Hope your ring gets there lickety split!