Is now the wrong time?

[canadianquestion]

I have been planning for about 6 months to propose on valentines day. I got the ring, 1.52 H&A, and booked a room in a nice hotel for the weekend (on the beach on Vancouver island). She has no idea that it is coming, but I know she will say yes. In fact, no one knows or suspects my plan.

Here is the problem... I just found out today that my grandfather who I am quite close to died. (My girl friend, knows him but not really well) The service will be on Monday the 9th, coincidently near the place where I booked the hotel. None of my family live near me, but now everyone is coming for the service, some from South America. They will all be staying for at least two weeks to help my Grandmother.

Now for the question, do I still propose? On one side it will hopefully raise everybody’s spirits, on the other I wonder whether it is an inappropriate time.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

 

[sumi]

First of all, I am really sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away. It can be really hard to lose a grandparent.



I think your decision really depends on the particularities of your family. When my grandmother passed away, nobody was really surprised. We were all so sad to see her go, but she had been ill for a while. I think even she was ready to go. Your engagement might be a good thing to bring the family together and lift their spirits a little.

On the other hand, if there are members of the family who might think the timing is wrong, then I would hold off for a while. You don't want to start your marriage off on the wrong foot with your family.


There is always of the option of going ahead with the engagement, but keeping it a secret just until things settle down. It will be SO HARD for your GF not to wear the ring 24/7 at first, but she might want to leave it off for the funeral (if she's attending)

let us know what you decide!

 

[Nicrez]

I agree with Sumi on this totally. One thing you can do is to mention to people that when your grandfather passed away (my condolences to you and your family), it made you realize what was most important in life. I believe people will be happy for you and may need some levity. Guage your family's reactions to news like this and perhaps keep it a secret until you feel it's appropriate.

Some say that death is always replaced with life. This is a new life together, and I think it's a wonderful way to move on...