Is it right to lie about your diamond?

[diamond-gal]

Recently, a friend of mine received a promise ring... unfortunately I think her ring is a cubic zirconia... she has mentioned that it came with no certificates... ect...

She said she took it to a jeweler... to have it appraised it''s a quarter carat... and she believes it''s worth $2000 dollars but I really find that hard to believe it has very poor light return and has that weird waxy look to it.

In any case I mean my friend no harm I m very happy for her... but I’m just disappointed because I think she maybe lying to me! So I thought I would throw the situation out there to all you diamond fans... to see what you thought!

 

[pearcrazy]

It could be a poorly cut diamond with a weird waxy appearance to it or it could be a CZ. Who knows, who cares!? If she's really your friend and your're really hers you'll say nothing about it and be happy for her. A promise is a promise after all, it is a symbol of commitment from her boyfriend and should be celebrated as such no matter what the nature of her stone.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Well, I think it's terrible that you would be more upset by the fact that your friend is lying to you than happy for her that she's pre-engaged. Who cares what her ring is, diamond or cz, just congratulate her and let this slide. Maybe she's embarassed that she has a cz so she's lying. Some don't have loads of money to blow on fancy rings and this isn't her fault so why make an issue of it?

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 12/5/2004 10:56:39 PM
Author: MichelleCarmen
Well, I think it''s terrible that you would be more upset by the fact that your friend is lying to you than happy for her that she''s pre-engaged. Who cares what her ring is, diamond or cz, just congratulate her and let this slide. Maybe she''s embarassed that she has a cz so she''s lying. Some don''t have loads of money to blow on fancy rings and this isn''t her fault so why make an issue of it?

Agreed. come on. There are MANY more impirtant things in life than worrying about this type of thing.

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

I agree with Michelle Carmen and Pearcrazy. It most probably is a poor cut.... honestly, I think that if her bf wanted to buy a promise ring with a cz.. i think he would have gone a tad larger than .25... i''ve never seen a CZ in a .25 unless it was a sidestone or something. Regardless, she is happy about it.

You should be happy for your friend and move on....

 

[diamond-gal]

Thank you for your replies... Im very happy for my girlfriend... and I love her ring... I wish her all the best! It''s just annoying sometimes though I guess when people lie especially your best friend! It''s like when someone buys a louis vuitton bag... you know it''s fake yet they sit there and say it''s real and that it costs thousands and thousands of dollars and they go on and on about it...

I guess I just never think it''s right to lie...

 

[Bethanying]

No matter what a friend is lying about, it''s always unnerving to have a gut feeling that someone is lying to you, especially a best friend. I know you''re happy for her but I also understand that nagging feeling that she is lying to you, after all, she could have told her best friend to keep her secret!

OR, even worse, her future FI told her they were diamonds and they were not!

I''m sure he did not do that but if he did he only wanted to save face with her- and everyone else.

So don''t feel bad, it always stinks to think a friend is lying to you.

B~

 

[ringbling17]

This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

"There are only three possibilities. Either your sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn''t tell lies and it is obvious she isn''t mad. For the moment then and unless any further evidence turns up, we must assume that she is telling the truth" (p.4.

Diamond-gal: You state this girl is your friend, and therefore I opine that you should give her the benefit of the doubt.

cheers--Sharon



C. S. Lewis. (1950). The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Harper Collins. New York, New York.

 

[youngster]

Date: 12/6/2004 10

6:29 AM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

''There are only three possibilities. Either your sister is telling lies, or she is mad, or she is telling the truth. You know she doesn''t tell lies and it is obvious she isn''t mad. For the moment then and unless any further evidence turns up, we must assume that she is telling the truth'' (p.4.

Diamond-gal: You state this girl is your friend, and therefore I opine that you should give her the benefit of the doubt.

cheers--Sharon



C. S. Lewis. (1950). The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Harper Collins. New York, New York.

Excellent! Love the quote from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe! The Narnia books are some of the best children''s books ever written (probably because adults can learn a few things from them as well!)

 

[treysar]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can't afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it's fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

You bring up a good point. Throughout my life I have always been plain, a bit tomboyish, not stylish at all. My family was not the kind of family that SHOWED what they had by wearing it. In turn, I am marrying a man that is the same way I am,- we live in a small apartment, drive older cards, and GAP is the nicest clothes we own. As a result, I'm sure that the people who know me think my ring is fake. But I really don't care, becuase it has nothing to do with them, it has to do with the comitment the ring stands for.

I have actually had people grab my hand and turn it upside down trying to figure out if it's real. But this is not a big deal for me - I grew up in a snotty town where the kids would have "label check" and actually turn the collar of your shirt to see wear you got it, and if it was "really Benneton" or some other label. Meanwhile my parents shopped at Caldors!! You can imagine how fun that was for a kid wearing fake Keds!!

My point is, I can finally say that I really don't care what other people think. *PHEW* - it took me a looooooooooooooooooooooong time to come to that conclusion!

So I wear my blingy for me!

 

[jenwill]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

I am a person that definitely dresses down- and am not a jewelry person per se (GASP!). But the things I DO care about, I get the best quality I can- and if people want to believe it is not real....more power to ''em. I have not much cared for what others think about my possesions in the past, won''t really care what they think in the future. All I care about is if it makes me happy!

 

[Aurora Borealis]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

I would be a good example. I''m a full-time college student with a part-time job, I dress very plainly, I''m 19 years old, and I don''t even have a car. The point to wearing a real diamond would be that I know that it''s a real diamond and it makes me happy everytime I stare at it. My diamond isn''t huge (.95 ct), but it''s big in a peer group in which I''m the only one with a diamond. I''m not sure of people think it''s fake or not, but that''s not what''s improtant to me. I only care if their comments are complimentary.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

I think everyone has priorites so if a woman LOVES diamonds but cars are not her cup of tea so she wears a larger diamond but drives an older car, than so be it. Even if everyone thinks it''s fake, who cares. Honestly, if a person is spending THAT much time debating the authenticity of a lady''s diamond, they must either be living a very boring or pretentious life! I really don''t care that one of my relatives is wearing a CZ ring as her eng. ring. In fact, she''s married and still just wears the eng. ring w/out a wedding band. She drives a nice new van because she has a son and two step children. This is her priority: a car loan. . . not going into debt to buy a ring/luxury item.

For me, I have a nice car, smaller diamond. My kids'' safety is more important than my ring so last summer I upgraded my car and not my ring. Some may wonder if my car is fake, but screw them. I have more pressing issues like what to stick in my husband''s stocking. Any ideas??? lol

 

[ringbling17]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.


If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.

Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?

What do you guys think?

Hey, I am quoting myself!!!

Anyway, in response to my own question, I have to say that I probably fit the description/stereotype of someone who can''t afford to buy a diamond.

I am most comfortable wearing jeans and tees, or bulky sweats and I look very young for my age as well. I drive an average car, until recently I was drving a 1995 Honda Civic coupe, but finally got a new car this year. But again, it''s just average, not a luxury car or anything.

When I walk into an expensive store, the salespeople don''t coming rushing up to me to attend to my every need. They actually give me a look like-" Oh, not her again, she''s always here but never buys anything!"

Most of my stuff is real, sometimes, I will wear a fake piece.

Since getting my anniversary gift, I have wondered if people thought it was fake, since I just don''t look like I can afford it.

The thing is, I have never questioned the authenticity of someone else''s jewelry. If it happened to look cloudy, I just think that either it''s dirty or it''s not a great cut/clarity.

If someone tells me they got engaged and show me their ring, I never think twice about it''s authenticity and I would never ask them if I could see the certificate or if it even came with one.
Even though I know there are a lot of great looking CZ''s out there, it would never come across to me that the ring someone else is wearing might be.

Maybe I am dense, or maybe it just doesn''t matter.

 

[ursulawrite]

This is really interesting.

I am the opposite in many respects. I wear expensive clothes -- discreetly, but nonetheless. My home is a loft decorated in creams and modern dark woods, and my engagement ring is the same -- pared down, discreet, and flawless. Nobody notices my ring, compliments me on it, or says, "WOW!" (I live in NYC, after all). But I know that it''s practically perfect and as white as they come, and that''s good enough for me

(So in answer to your question, no, I never have to lie about its authenticity!)

 

[Jennifer5973]

I am laughing because people ask me all the time if my diamond is "flawless." I just say "it''s an Ideal diamond" instead of going into "No, it''s an eye-clean this or that...." I think most people don''t even know what I am talking about but nod and say "oooooh, yes."

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Maybe I am dense, or maybe it just doesn''t matter.

Honestly, it doesn''t matter. The only situation where a cz v. diamond issue would matter is one where the guy is trying to pass a cubic zirconia off as a real diamond. . . but then this is between the couple and shouldn''t involve anyone else.

 

[valeria101]

One can hardly guess how far cut quality can getm before you TRY (would you?)

And not all diamons are even meant to give good light return. Look below at that perfectly transparent thing - do you even see it ?

 

[yellowfan]

Maybe you should find something to do with your time instead of worrying if her diamond is real or cz. At 1/4 carat, its not that $$$ to buy and that small may not come with a cert. I did not post when I first read this thread because I don''t think it should of been posted to begin with. To everyones jewelry their own.

 

[diamond-gal]

I absolutely agree with everyone, it doesn''t matter. One of my friends got engaged last year with a cubic zirconia... and just recently it has been replaced with the real thing... she was also very honest about it and would never go around saying, that it was real and that her fiancé spent 20,000 on it!

To have a cubic is never wrong... but I think that to lie is definitely wrong... I have certainly met the odd person, you know they have the Louis vuitton bag the 2ct ring, neither are real.... sometimes they aren''t even engaged... I suppose they live in a dream world, which is hard for those of us that don''t and have to play along with their games!

 

[ringbling17]

Date: 12/7/2004 12:51:34 PM
Author: diamond-gal

To have a cubic is never wrong... but I think that to lie is definitely wrong... I have certainly met the odd person, you know they have the Louis vuitton bag the 2ct ring, neither are real....

You are right, to lie outright is wrong, but if you see someone wearing a fake diamond and carrying a fake LV bag, they are not necessarily lying directly to you.

I have a real two carat diamond and I own a few real LV bags.

I also wear a fake 2 carat diamond and I use a fake LV bag for work.

I am not intentionally lying, I like different looks, and since I can''t afford three 2 carat rings, I don''t mind wearing something fake once in a while for a change. I bought the LV bag because I liked the look and did not want to spend the extra money for a work bag.
Is it fake? Sure. Can other people tell? Probably. Do I care? No, because I know I can afford the real thing, I just chose not to buy it.


I am not lying to anyone b/c I know it''s fake and if anyone asks me if it is fake, I will tell them the truth.

It''s still a real ring and a real bag.

Buy what you like to please yourself, not to impress anyone else.

 

[diamond-gal]

I also wear a fake 2 carat diamond and I use a fake LV bag for work. I am not intentionally lying...

I totally agree with you... and I think it''s great that you are honest! Im talking about 2 people that I know... who will lie to your face! In the long run it doesn''t really matter though does it! What can you do... sometimes people are insecure or whatever and tell many color-full stories past their possesions!

I guess I just need to figure out whether I want to be friends with people that lack a sense of truth and integrity!

 

[kaylagee]

I just bought a pair of cz earrings...mainly to test for size. Also with the hope that they'll actually satisfy me and I can drop the whole diamond earring idea.

All of my designer bags are authentic. I wouldn't buy a fake bag...my only issue is the fairness/ethics. I just think it's bogus for someone to make money on another company's name and creations. (shrug)

When I bother to think about it, I usually assume everyone's ring are real. I notice overall design more that the diamonds or 'diamonds'.

I wouldn't worry about my friend's ring unless there are other things you feel she's lying to you about. Give her a break... E-rings are loaded with so much emotional, status-related BS that it can make some people temporarily insane. To many it becomes a statement of a woman's worth/beauty/sexual power, as well as the fiance's wealth and love.

So, it might be too hard for some to admit that they're giving or wearing a simulant. Sometimes the guys are dishonest about the ring and mislead the fiancee too.

I'd hate to be the jeweler that tells a woman her jewelry is fake. (shudder)

 

[windy1365]

Maybe your friend saw a similar ring like hers in the jewelry store, and it was selling for $2,000. She might know nothing about color, clarity, etc. A diamond might just be a diamond to her. So... she thinks her similar ring is worth $2,000 also.

 

[ame]

Date: 12/6/2004 9:48:57 AM
Author: kayla17
This actually brings up a really important question that I found on another diamond forum.



If one looks like they can''t afford a really expensive ring, such as dresses down, is very young, drives a old or clunk of junk car, then what would be the point of buying a real diamond, why not just get a CZ.


Even if you have a real diamond, everyone will think it''s fake anyway, right?


What do you guys think?

Quite frankly, other than the car thing (I have a nice Honda), I fit that description. Both he and I are freaking slobs. haha. I wear Tshirts and Jeans daily (my job rocks that way). I have a bigass tat on the backof my neck that shows clear as day when my hair is up or pulled back. I have piercings. I look like someone who couldn''t afford a CZ. So I actually HOPE that some think it''s fake because maybe they won''t rob me!

 

[heart prongs]

Maybe it just appraised higher than what it''s worth, and she thinks that''s what he paid? But if she''s not telling the truth, I''d be annoyed too. She shouldn''t have said anything about the price to begin with, let alone lie about it...klr

 

[WTNLVR]

I''d bet the stone is real. The bf would have bought a bigger cz. I have never seen a cz in that size as the main stone. The person who quoted the value may have inflated it for unknown reasons. It really doesn''t matter what people think as long as the person who owns it knows the truth. My aunt has mega size diamonds but dresses down. Her husband, a doctor, was once told to move along because they thought he was a bum due to the way he was dressed. He had been in grubby clothes picking up discarded cans on the side of the road. Anyway, it has been a huge joke in the family for years because they are multi-millionaires and most people probably think her jewels are fake. You really can''t tell unless you get pretty close to the piece- at least for the layperson.

 

[Lord Summerisle]

sorry about jumping in here...

just thought i would add my 2p worth...

you mentioned a couple of things about the rock that piqued my interest... just that it has poor light return and has a waxy look and no cert... it does tend to lead me to think that it is a real Diamond rather than a fake... its known that strong flouresance can cause a diamond to take on a waxy/cloudy/milky look in daylighting.. while a CZ wouldnt. not all stones come with a cert, and some appraisers can put a high value on a stone - sometimes twice what it was bought for.. or at least thats the impression i''ve picked up from around these parts.

Anyways... thought i would put that up there... so maybe she aint lying to you... shes just repeating what shes been told by the appraiser.

 

[sjz]

Date: 3/20/2005 6:58:18 PM
Author: WTNLVR
I''d bet the stone is real. The bf would have bought a bigger cz. I have never seen a cz in that size as the main stone. The person who quoted the value may have inflated it for unknown reasons. It really doesn''t matter what people think as long as the person who owns it knows the truth. My aunt has mega size diamonds but dresses down. Her husband, a doctor, was once told to move along because they thought he was a bum due to the way he was dressed. He had been in grubby clothes picking up discarded cans on the side of the road. Anyway, it has been a huge joke in the family for years because they are multi-millionaires and most people probably think her jewels are fake. You really can''t tell unless you get pretty close to the piece- at least for the layperson.

I agree about the stone being larger if it were a CZ. I haven''t seen CZ''s that small, either. I''m not saying that they aren''t out there somewhere, I''ve just not seen them.

The thing that bothered me the most about the original post was how concerned the poster was that the friend lied to her about the ring. That, combined with the fact that she even CARED so much about whether the stone was a real diamond or not. Who really cares? As long as the person who owns the ring knows the truth about it, and she''s happy with the ring and with her engagement, I don''t see why anyone else would be anything but happy for her. To be so concerened about whether a friend''s diamond was real or not, and to wonder if she''s lying seems a bit extreme.

*IF* the ring is a CZ, and the owner did lie about it, maybe it''s because she picked up some kind of "vibe" from the poster that made her feel that her ring would be critisized if she knew it was a CZ? Obviously, I have no way of knowing...but sometimes people lie to save face. At any rate, I don''t think it''s really anything to be worried about. If this person usually doesn''t lie to her friend about things, I''d not be so quick to jump to the conclusion that she''s lying now. If she habitually lies or exagerates, then I''d just consider the source and congratulate her on her engagement.