is it okay for your bridesmaid to complain about dress costs?

[TravelingGal]

Date: 12/19/2006 9:43:31 PM
Author: biblobaggins23


i wouldn't go that far to question my maturity just cause i don't like a 100 dollar dress. its a dress i liked. it will look good on everyone and is good quality and doesn't look cheap like the other dresses i looked at. its the one that i want the rest of my bridesmaids to wear. the decision has been made. if any of my maids have a problem with it, i'll be open to discussion or help.

You do know that "maid" is just figurative, right? They're not supposed just do your bidding, carte blanche?

ETA, sorry, I just realized that's two more questions I asked!

 

[San Diego Bride]

are you really sure you want bridesmaids? after all, this is clearly about you.

what if one of them gets pregnant and can''t wear THE dress? what if one of them gets hurt and has a cast/bandage/large scar? surely you wouldn''t allow her to be in the wedding. the very thought would make you upset. and can you imagine the pictures?! the HORROR!

 

[musey]

Date: 12/19/2006 11:40:00 PM
Author: decodelighted
Oh boy.


Let''s say there were several private and government sponsored studies that offered compelling evidence that asking bridesmaids asked to spend their own money on expensive dresses that they have no say in is ''not good'' ... ''destined to fail'' even ... what would you think then?

muahahahahaha deco!

 

[tanyak]

I''m confused. If the decision has been made, what is there to discuss if your maids have a problem with it. Look, this may or may not even be an issue. We don''t know your friends'' financial situation. They could be like someone upthread who has no problem paying for a dress in the $200-300 range. For me, if someone insisted on a $250 plus dress, I would have to decline - even if she was my best friend. Having been a maid twice before, I know all the other expenses involved, and couldn''t swing it. But knowing my friends, who would rather have *me* in the wedding than a particular dress, they would offer to look for something more affordable OR they would help with the cost of the dress if they had to have it.

If your friends had an issue with the price, look or fit of the dress, would you be willing to look some more?

 

[galeteia]

*picks popcorn shell out of her teeth*

 

[IrishAngel7982]

Hi biblo~

Why don''t you ask your girlfriends/family members to be bm''s first, then hash out the dress issues when you know for sure who''s going to be in your wedding? I can see you''ve got your heart set on this one dress, but I''d advise having a talk with your girls to make sure they''re on board.

I hope it all works out for you.

 

[KimberlyH]

What if the dress isn''t flattering on the girls that you have yet to select to be bridesmaids? Won''t your pictures look horrible then too? Or are you selecting your bridesmaids based on the dress being the right fit for them? You know, picture perfect.

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 12/20/2006 12:26:50 AM
Author: novia

what if one of them gets pregnant and can''t wear THE dress? what if one of them gets hurt and has a cast/bandage/large scar? surely you wouldn''t allow her to be in the wedding. the very thought would make you upset. and can you imagine the pictures?! the HORROR!

I was just asked to be in a wedding where the bride had already purchased 4 out of the 6 dresses. The dresses retail for almost $300 and are AWFUL. Hideous even.

I am hoping to get pregnant (but now considering injury an option as well!) before the wedding so I won''t have to wear the dress. It''s my SIL''s wedding so there was no way I could really decline.
Since we are going to have to buy 2 more of the dresses and I assume that the cost of each dress will be prorated since she got 4 at a sample sale, it''s not even about money. To me it is completely disrespectful that she wouldn''t even consult with the WOMEN she is asking to stand beside her before selecting the dresses for them.

It''s not about money it''s about courtesy and consideration.

 

[robbie3982]

I''ve got to say that this thread has really opened my eyes. I''ve only been a bridesmaid once and really didn''t have any problems as far as the dress goes at all. I was already planning on trying to keep the dress costs down (definitely no more than $180), but since reading this thread I''ve started looking into even cheaper options like $50 dresses from the junior section of the local department stores (there are some really cute ones!). I''m going with knee-tea length black dresses. I know everyone says that they want their girls to be able to wear the dresses again, but I really want to do my best to make that happen. I''m even thinking about just telling them to pick out any black dress in that length range.

So, even though no one seems to be able to get through to Biblo, this thread has done some good

 

[sumbride]

I''m starting to feel MUCH better about my girls and their clogs!!!

 

[dtnyc]

Date: 12/20/2006 11:26:30 AM
Author: robbie3982
I''ve got to say that this thread has really opened my eyes. I''ve only been a bridesmaid once and really didn''t have any problems as far as the dress goes at all. I was already planning on trying to keep the dress costs down (definitely no more than $180), but since reading this thread I''ve started looking into even cheaper options like $50 dresses from the junior section of the local department stores (there are some really cute ones!). I''m going with knee-tea length black dresses. I know everyone says that they want their girls to be able to wear the dresses again, but I really want to do my best to make that happen. I''m even thinking about just telling them to pick out any black dress in that length range.

So, even though no one seems to be able to get through to Biblo, this thread has done some good

Robbie-
I think that any dress in the 100-150, even 180 neighborhood is great and I think that most of the knee-length dresses out there are so much more re-wearable than the floor length numbers.
I think a lot of brides find dresses that they love and then delude themselves into thinking that they are "re-wearable." It''s tough because everyone has different preferences.

If you are looking at a bridemaid''s line defintiely check out places like Pearl''s Place and netbride for quotes as they can save you an unbelievable amount of money per dress. My friend paid for our dresses for her wedding and they were 180 or so, quote from netbride was $93.

 

[robbie3982]

Thanks for the tip! There is one dress that all the girls seem to love (no one''s actually tried it on yet) that is around $180 at most places, but I found that we can get it at RK for about $116! $116 is still a lot for a dress even if it''s not so bad for a bridesmaid dress. It''s really going to be up to the girls about what they''d rather do. I trust their style and don''t think they''d pick anything hideous. However, if I let them pick out any dress they want I''ll have to make sure my mom has no influence over my sister''s. She (my mom that is) has some seriously hideous taste sometimes

 

[dtnyc]

Definitely check netbride- I found them to be even a little cheaper than RK and you can just fill in the quote info on their online form and they e-mail you a response. It''s super-easy.

I really wish I had done some online research for my friend''s wedding as it would have saved her more than $500.

You could always give your girls a few options- like pick out a few knee length black dresses and have them choose from your picks, then you know your mom couldn''t steer things horribly wrong!

 

[robbie3982]

Cool, thanks! I just requested a quote from them.

 

[TravelingGal]

Robbie, that is nice of you. I wouldn''t let them choose carte blanche, but instead let them pick from a selection where you know the shade of black and the materials will compliment each other. But black is pretty hard to mess up...

 

[diamondfan]

What about Virtual Bridesmaids? Holgrams that look like you want them to (but never prettier than the bride!), wearing what you pick...no muss no fuss, no tedious shopping for things and having to hear complaining...could be a winner!

 

[musey]

Date: 12/28/2006 2:00:42 AM
Author: diamondfan
What about Virtual Bridesmaids? Holgrams that look like you want them to (but never prettier than the bride!), wearing what you pick...no muss no fuss, no tedious shopping for things and having to hear complaining...could be a winner!

muahahaha

...hmm, I wonder what happened with this since bb last checked in?

 

[Olive Oil]

Date: 12/14/2006 7:23:27 PM
Author: Blenheim
Would you girls consider dresses from J Crew, Ann Taylor, and Aria to be rewearable? We''re looking most seriously at those companies right now for our dresses, although it''s going to take a trip or two to some stores with the girls to actually decide. They wouldn''t melt, at least, which I think is a start...

I am going to be a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding an I got my dress from J Crew. The bride is letting us pick out our own dresses (most of us are running them by her first), in colors that range from "latte" to "espresso." She even is letting us get patterns if they are subtle enough. I love my dress, and I will definitely wear it again. Letting me pick it out ensures that I am spending something I am comfortable with and really can wear it again. I''m posting a picture below, just because I love it so much!

 

[dtnyc]

olive oil-
that''s a really cute dress! I am totally jealous! I am in a wedding in Sept. and the bride chose "chocolate" as her color, I wish we could have worn some of the cute dresses offered by J. Crew or Ann Taylor in those colors- but she went w/ a big name bridal designer and the dresses are full length polyester and so not cute!