Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own business?

[kenny]

Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own business?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I tell her to shut up everyday!..

 

[kenny]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I tell her to shut up everyday!..

That might be a bit different.

I mean, does your SO think that everything relating to you is HER/HIS own business?

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Well.

My husband and I share many things.

And I think EVENTUALLY we share everything.

But that doesn't mean we share everything right up front.

My husband had to fire someone on Tuesday. It was someone he had given a lot of chances to and who was a drug addict it turned out.

He didn't tell me. There were some hints. But I didn't push.

And tonight he told me. In his own time.

I think it's important to be honest with your spouse and to share as much of yourself as you can. And there has been many a time when I shared something with him adn the result has been that he has given me perspective, or comfort, or information I didn't know he could.

But that doesn't mean you should share things before you are ready. That's not healthy either.

You are an individual. You are in a relationship yes. But there are boundaries. And that is healthy.

 

[davi_el_mejor]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

All the time! Like when he asks what I got him for his birthday. None of his business, until he opens it! HAHAH

What? Not what you meant?

But really... What Gypsy said. She said it way better than I could.

I think it's important to be honest with your spouse and to share as much of yourself as you can. And there has been many a time when I shared something with him adn the result has been that he has given me perspective, or comfort, or information I didn't know he could.

But that doesn't mean you should share things before you are ready. That's not healthy either.

You are an individual. You are in a relationship yes. But there are boundaries. And that is healthy.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Of course! Childbirth, female issues...old boyfriends...

 

[SB621]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Of course! Childbirth, female issues...old boyfriends...

BAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i think i just snorted coffee!

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Absolutely it's okay.
Marriage does not mean 100% sharing of everything. My husband and I don't discuss anything bathroom-related (EVER!), our exact "number" (as in the number of people that we have been intimate with throughout our lives), private conversations that I have with my girlfriends, details of past relationships, etc. We show each other some respect when it comes to certain issues because we don't need to know absolutely everything about each other.

 

[CJ2008]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Definitely.

I take care of me, you take care of you.

So don't make comments on whether I should have the 10th cookie or that 5th potato chip. Especially when you know I am a person who for the most part takes care of themselves and goes to the gym, etc.

Now if it ever gets to the point where I've gained weight to the point you don't find me attractive any more, then it is my business, and I should know. Otherwise, keep your advice to yourself.

Don't push advice on how to motivate myself. I know myself and what I need to get motivated better than anyone else.

 

[CJ2008]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

My husband and I don't discuss anything bathroom-related (EVER!), our exact "number" (as in the number of people that we have been intimate with throughout our lives), private conversations that I have with my girlfriends, details of past relationships, etc. We show each other some respect when it comes to certain issues because we don't need to know absolutely everything about each other.

This too.

 

[movie zombie]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

it is situational so "it depends" would have been my choice.
however, those words "mind your own business" certainly are not something that is going to be creating trust in a relationship.

 

[OreoRosies86]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Of course it is, as long as it doesn't actively affect the other person in some negative way.

I started Paleo and my SO, who considers canned ravioli a food group, started babbling his opinions about every single thing I touched. I finally had to say "Unless this is a joint diet, back off."

 

[Indylady]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I wouldn't put it that way, but yes. I share most things, but, absolutely never something that a friend has told me in confidence--in that case, I would easily say something along the lines of MYOB.

 

[missy]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I share almost everything with my dh except if a friend has specifically asked for me to keep something private between the 2 of us. But that is rare. My dh is very respectful and would never pry. I have never had to tell him to mind his own business. He's just not that kind of person. I have never met anyone as respectful or considerate as him about privacy. Having said that I do share most everything including bathroom issues lol. Perhaps a bit oversharing haha.

ETA: to answer the question yes I think it is ok depending on the circumstances and how you say it. As long as you are respectful I think it is A-OK. And as long as it isn't a secret that affects your partner. In general I do not like secrets between SO's.

 

[momhappy]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

it is situational so "it depends" would have been my choice.
however, those words "mind your own business" certainly are not something that is going to be creating trust in a relationship.

I guess that I don't see this as being about trust - I see it as being about respect. I respect my DH enough tho know that there are some things that he might like to keep private and vice versa.

 

[Tekate]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

There are just some places we don't go with our SOs. I don't think you have to say 'myob!" just sort of like oh man that was ages ago.. dunno.. if it's those dumb questions like "did you love XY or XX more than me"? then it's a NO of course not.. fabrication as to not hurt our SOs is okay in my book.

Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own business?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

if it's those dumb questions like "did you love XY or XX more than me"? then it's a NO of course not..

Why lie?..

 

[amc80]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think his business is my business and mine is his. The only "secrets" that I would keep are those that don't affect either of us (like something a friend tells me in confidence). I would never ever use the words "mind your own business."

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think his business is my business and mine is his. The only "secrets" that I would keep are those that don't affect either of us (like something a friend tells me in confidence). I would never ever use the words "mind your own business."

What about "mind your own beeswax" or my personal favorite: "Nunyo." As in, "nunyo business."

 

[amc80]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think his business is my business and mine is his. The only "secrets" that I would keep are those that don't affect either of us (like something a friend tells me in confidence). I would never ever use the words "mind your own business."

What about "mind your own beeswax" or my personal favorite: "Nunyo." As in, "nunyo business."

Haha, nah. I'm trying to think of an instance where I would tell him anything of the sort and I am at a loss. What secrets are people keeping from their spouses?

 

[monarch64]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think his business is my business and mine is his. The only "secrets" that I would keep are those that don't affect either of us (like something a friend tells me in confidence). I would never ever use the words "mind your own business."

What about "mind your own beeswax" or my personal favorite: "Nunyo." As in, "nunyo business."

Haha, nah. I'm trying to think of an instance where I would tell him anything of the sort and I am at a loss. What secrets are people keeping from their spouses?

Kenny likes to upgrade his SO's diamond, maybe he makes the upgrades a surprise?

I don't know, I usually say it in a joking manner. It's not like I would NOT tell him something he wanted to know about. Really the only thing I can think of is presents/surprises.

 

[amc80]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think his business is my business and mine is his. The only "secrets" that I would keep are those that don't affect either of us (like something a friend tells me in confidence). I would never ever use the words "mind your own business."

What about "mind your own beeswax" or my personal favorite: "Nunyo." As in, "nunyo business."

Haha, nah. I'm trying to think of an instance where I would tell him anything of the sort and I am at a loss. What secrets are people keeping from their spouses?

Kenny likes to upgrade his SO's diamond, maybe he makes the upgrades a surprise?

I don't know, I usually say it in a joking manner. It's not like I would NOT tell him something he wanted to know about. Really the only thing I can think of is presents/surprises.

Right, and I don't think that is what the point of the thread is. Whenever I am working on something for DH and he asks I just tell him it's a secret, and he usually knows what that means. Actually, DH has said "nunyo" to me, but only when it's regarding a present.

 

[Kaleigh]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

Of course!!!

BUT that refers to something that isn't super important that doesn't really involve him. I do share everything, so not keeping anything from him.....

I respect his thoughts and opinions..

 

[DNB]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

In our house that would be a very rude and inconsiderate thing to do. DH and I have been married almost 33 years and everything is "our" business that concerns us, our family and our life. DH meets with a men's bible study group and I do not ask him questions as that is a safe place for them to support each other and as long as it doesn't affect us, I really have no need to know. I have friends who tell me things in confidence that do not impact us so on occasion, we don't discuss it. We are a team, a partnership, and keep no secrets from each other, but can hold confidences for friends if it's not important to our relationship. Just as everything we have is ours, everything we do is ours. If either one of us ever told the other to "mind their own business" that would be an indication that we had something in our relationship that needed fixing.

 

[Mayk]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I'm one of the "no" answers... I just don't see either one of us saying that to each other.

 

[tyty333]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I think in a serious conversation it would be rude to tell my spouse that something was
none of his business. However, he is not one to delve into someone else's business and I
have nothing to hide from him anyway.

 

[ForteKitty]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I haven't come across an instance where I might have said that to him. But then again, he doesn't pry when it comes to personal discussions I have with friends, and we discuss bathroom issues in great lengths. Poop is interesting and says a lot about your health, and farts are always funny! We stopped giving presents since we buy stuff for ourselves when we want something, so nothing to hide there.

 

[CharmyPoo]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

I am with ForteKitty .... bathroom matters are a frequent conversation ... also includes our pet's bathroom matters ... LOL. Really, we talk about everything and I can't imagine there being something that we can't talk about with each other or needing to mind his/her own business. All our friends expect that what they tell one of us .. the other knows.

 

[VapidLapid]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

The Continental Dollar, designed by Ben Franklin

 

[packrat]

Re: Is it ever OK to tell your SO to mind her/his own busine

We're not a secret keeping couple. We joke, ppfftt nunayer biznis what I'm doin, yer not the bossa me. We are soooo open here. Poop, farts, periods, there is no filter. We've known each other since I was 18, so 21 years now. We've seen/heard it all by now.