Is it appropriate for 10-15 years old to send out XMas "wishlist"?

[zhuzhu]

Maybe I am just a little surprised by what the "younger generation" is doing these days. This year my nieces and nephew are emailing us a LONG list of "wishlist" for their holiday gifts. I was taken aback by it because the list consists of expensive things for each child. In addition, they never even thanked us for the gift from last XMas, which did not exactly leave a good tats in my mouth.

Regardless of how they were not taught to thank gift givers properly, is it really the "norm" for children their age to ask for specific gifts these days? I always thought of wish list as gift registry, of which financially responsible adults use to give gifts to "each other" on special occasions. Getting "requests" from children their age just seems wrong to me on so many levels. Is it just me? What are your thoughts?

 

[Haven]

Normal or not, I think this is a very presumptuous thing to do. Who on earth is teaching their children that it is okay to send out lists soliciting gifts from others????

I''m with you on this one, Zhu.

 

[meresal]

In my family, we only do gifts for the kids. We don''t do gifts for our siblings, unless they are childless. (There are too many now...)

I ask my siblings for thier kid''s lists or ideas of what they are "in to" currently. I would find it a bit odd, if I just received an email directly from them. Maybe it was the parents idea?

 

[KimberlyH]

I think it''s extremely tacky and would be quite bothered if I received a wishlist, espcially for an occasion such as Christmas (the meaning has been so muddled/lost, but that''s a whole ''nother ball of wax).

 

[Kelli]

I''m with you on this one too. In my family, the parents write down ideas for us so it''s easier for us to shop. But the kids by no means just send out requests. That''s just weird. Kids have too much of a sense of entitlement these days IMO.

 

[swingirl]

How about responding with, "Since I never received a thank you for last year''s gift I assumed you were too old for or disinterested in Christmas presents. But if anyone asks I''ll pass along this information"

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 12/15/2009 9:59:39 PM
Author: Haven
Normal or not, I think this is a very presumptuous thing to do. Who on earth is teaching their children that it is okay to send out lists soliciting gifts from others????

I'm with you on this one, Zhu.

Ditto! I would feel offended too!

I love sending gifts to my nephews but I always ask the parents or them what they need/want. I would be upset if they emailed me a list; they would probably get coal in that case.

 

[Haven]

Date: 12/15/2009 10:08:27 PM
Author: swingirl
How about responding with, ''Since I never received a thank you for last year''s gift I assumed you were too old for or disinterested in Christmas presents. But if anyone asks I''ll pass along this information''

I like this!

 

[Elmorton]

In my family, wishlists are expected. I e-mail one to my parents, one to my MIL, and one to my FIL/SMIL. E-mail has been the preferred format since forever because you can add links and buy online. If we had younger family members, it would be protocol, too, because it's just easy that way.

But, in these instances, lists are requested. Sending an unsolicited wishlist is pretty rude (with the exception of wedding registries). If you requested a list from a parent or ideas, I wouldn't be too offended that the kids sent one. If you made no mention of giving a gift, then yeah - it's rude.

 

[OUpearlgirl]

Once letters to Santa stopped being cute, my mom had us fill out a survey.

Instead of it being an actual wishlist, we put our favorite colors to wear, favorite to decorate with, sizes, favorite music, movies, etc. It makes it easier for gift giving but it''s definitely not just a list of things we want.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 12/15/2009 10:08:27 PM
Author: swingirl
How about responding with, 'Since I never received a thank you for last year's gift I assumed you were too old for or disinterested in Christmas presents. But if anyone asks I'll pass along this information'

Yeah! I like this response. Perfect.

And yes, I think it's a little odd. My parents to this day still ask me for a wishlist for holidays and birthdays. But it is VERY different between parent and child vs. sending out a random unsolicited list to relatives!

 

[kenny]

If you don't buy them everything on their list they will just hack into your VISA account and charge it.

 

[miraclesrule]

Ditto swingirl. At first, I thought it was a little harsh. Upon further reflection, I like it ...a lot!!

I am growing on the wishlist through Amazon though. It is hard to figure out what someone wants and I like to know what they want.

I''m just being a bah-humbug this year. It''s money or nothing...and the chicks ain''t free (especially Tigers

)

 

[kittybean]

I vote not appropriate. If you had said, "Little Nephew, could you please make a list of things you might like for Christmas?" then it would be okay. But unsolicited? No, especially when they didn''t thank you for last year''s gift! I''d probably say something to their parents.

 

[isaku5]

Our older granddaughter who''s just turned 14 and who lives in the same town as we do does, at our request , make a short list for both both grandmas and both aunts (same list for all) of things she would appreciate receiving. The list covers various price-points and is always concluded with "or anything you''d like to give me."

From that list, I usually consult her mom ( DDIL) and ask who has chosen what, or for other ideas that might not be on ''the list''. So far (four years now), this has worked well. She appears very grateful and makes everyone feel that their gift is really appreciated.

I see no harm in that method at all and much prefer it to giving a ''money'' gift.

If she were not grateful for the gift we chose, that would come up in a one to one discussion at another time, and could result in no gift whatsoever the following year.

 

[D&T]

I think it is inappropriate unless you specifically asked them for one. Otherwise, if it were me, I would probably just send them a Christmas card and write something regarding the spirit of Christmas and what it is suppose to mean. They won''t expect that.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Speaking of entitlement...

At MY wedding reception, my niece came up to me and said "Where's my present?".
This was in reference to a flower girl present I had told her I had gotten her but had not given her yet. I just found the whole thing kind of funny, but in truth she's pretty spoiled.

I don't think it's strange for kids to write "a letter to santa" with gifts they want, or even to make a list for their parents. I think it's a fun activity, and I love watching my nieces and nephews come up with funny things. And it gives me ideas of what to get them. But I think it's really strange to email the list out to other family members without being asked to..

 

[Lilac]

I think if you had specifically *asked* them for a list of things they wanted then it would be ok if they sent you a wishlist. But for them to just randomly send a wishlist assuming you want to buy gifts for them (and expensive gifts!) I think it''s completely wrong.

 

[yssie]

I would not be happy to see an email like that in my inbox from my little cousins.



I do, however, ask them verbally for a short list of things they''d like when I visit late in the year, and confirm with their parents that the items are allowed/not already spoken for/whatever. So far the most expensive item I''ve ever heard of was still very doable - the boys are all very into video games, and the one girl - well, she''s easy to shop for

 

[Hera]

I don't know any children that would send out a registry on their own. I'm thinking the parents told them to send one out and then sent it to everyone in the family.
As far as the thank you's are concerned, my parents never taught us to say thank you as children and so I never did. As an adult, I think it's terrible and ungracious, but as a child, I was only following my mom's lead.

I firmly believe it's the parents that are at fault in this equation, whether it's raising children to be entitled and/or being ungracious in not saying thank you.

 

[zhuzhu]

It is definitely the parents'' doing in this family. Last year we sent them XMas gifts via email to their parents (one year movie subscription for the kids) and never got a response of any sort. I followed-up with SIL to see how they like it. Guess what, she never even REPLIED, not to mention thanking us.

It is just totally a whole different level that the parents allow or instruct a 10 year old to email the gift list directly to extended family. I certainly did not ask about the XMas gift~!

Thankfully, I already bought them gifts by then, and no they are not getting what they requested.

 

[Imdanny]

I've never heard of this before and I think it's wrong. If a kid makes a Christmas "wish list" and gives it to the parents or "Santa" via the parents, but to anyone else?

 

[Kaleigh]

Ok am really floored by this.

I am shaking my head, because this is soooooooo wrong!!!

I will ask my SIL's who's kids are young, and I have no clue what they are into, and they don't live near by. They always give me great ideas, and I go to a Mom and Pop toy store that has the best toys around, so my gifts are always a hit...

I love ToysRUs, but when ever I can support a Mom and Pop store, well that's what I do..


Sending a list of what to buy??? THat's just wrong!!!!

Ok could help me in buying, but DO NOT need you to send me a list!!!!

OMG, the world is coming to an end, now kids are sending out for gift registry's for Xmas????
Kill me now!!!!

Seriously, this is the most disturbing thing I have heard today.... Notice I said Today, LOL!!!!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Pretty tacky. We''ve had those sent to us in the past.

With my kids, normally family members ask for lists and I send out a few ideas. Point is *I* make the list, not the kids. Regardless of who the family member is, I try and keep the items small and inexpensive.

 

[monarch64]

Wow. Hello, inappropriate. I can''t imagine whose world it would be ok in to solicit gifts from anyone other than Santa Claus. I think maybe that''s what this stems from? The sending of wish lists to Santa has now turned into soliciting gifts from the real world? I''m lost. Zhuzhu, I don''t think this is the "norm." I think it''s bad parenting.

 

[zhuzhu]

Actually, one kid sent me two emails... The second one reads "Sorry I forgot to add one thing.
Attached is the updated copy!".....

 

[monarch64]

Date: 12/16/2009 12:30:12 AM
Author: zhuzhu
Actually, one kid sent me two emails... The second one reads 'Sorry I forgot to add one thing.
Attached is the updated copy!'.....

Ok. On that note I would take the time and the effort to send a box of coal (yes, it can be found) and an etiquette book. Sheesh.

ETA: my niece EVER does anything like this (she's 2) and first I'm taking my brother outside for one of those conversations, and then I'm telling my niece no more presents until she wises up. Seriously.

 

[Selkie]

Date: 12/16/2009 12:42:34 AM
Author: monarch64

Date: 12/16/2009 12:30:12 AM

Author: zhuzhu

Actually, one kid sent me two emails... The second one reads ''Sorry I forgot to add one thing.

Attached is the updated copy!''.....

Ok. On that note I would take the time and the effort to send a box of coal (yes, it can be found) and an etiquette book. Sheesh.

Yes, THIS. Here''s a Sunday Times review of children''s etiquette books. I''d choose one from the list and send two copies-one to the parents, and one to the kid.
Etiquette lessons

 

[Kaleigh]

I have to ask where are the Parents in all of this emailing lists and stuff... Are the kids doing it on their own, or are the Parents too lazy to say to Aunt Susie, Biilly is into Legos, etc....

I wonder about this future generation......

What ever happened to writing Santa a letter?? Guessing Santa has an email address now...

 

[that_someone_special]

I am really floored by some of the ADULT responses here.

10 years old is still a child- 15 is pushing it.

I would talk to the PARENTS first. Discuss what happened last year that left a bad taste in your mouth to them, and they can talk to their children. I really think that sending "coal" or writing a nasty email to a child is a BAD idea. It is not their fault they didn''t learn manners. What you''re going to do is possibly hurt a kid in the process.

I do think kids associate christmas with gifts- only. But who is to blame? A child??? I don''t think so.





WITH EVERYTHING SAID, I think it''s pretty crazy you got a request list- I just wouldn''t blame the child.