Invite Situation???????? Opinions please.

[LauraBabe08]

I just sent out my invitations on monday (yay!). They turned out perfect and the calligraphy lady did a wonderful job.

Quick question - we want a small wedding of 100 ppl or less. we invited about 115 and know that some cant attend. We did not put "and guest" for FI''s friends from HS (none are really seeing anyone, and one is engaged and she is invited) or for our 4 friends from pharmacy school.

My thought was that if i put "and guest" for all of them, then they may feel pressure to bring someone, anyone. I do not want "the fling of the week" at my wedding. So I am calling people individually and telling them they can bring a significant other if they have one as we get regrets from other people that we did invite. This is kinda our "b list".

I thought this was a perfect way to handle to it, but now I am wondering if maybe ppl will be offended by it? Any opinions? (Please be nice since invites are out and there is no turning back).

Thank you.

 

[princesss]

A friend of mine did that for her wedding, and it turned out fine. She invited me, and when she got a few declines, she called and said she''d love to extend the invitation to my BF as well. I thought it was very sweet of her to invite him, and we both (meaning BF and me, not my friend and me) realized that he wasn''t invited from the get-go because he''d only met her a few times and her fiancee once. Neither one of us was offended. I guess you just have to play this by ear.

I wouldn''t do it for one unless you''re able to do it for all of them, though.

 

[neatfreak]

I think it''s fine as long as it''s done genuinely.

 

[LauraBabe08]

Thanks for the replies. I am an etiquette freak, so not having everyones name on inner envelope stressed me out and I have been having anxiety over it. I already called the groomsman and told him he can invite his gf (I know he has one but I never met her and dont know her name) he said thanks and he didn''t care her name wasnt on it. I am going to do it as it comes up and in a genuine way!

 

[allycat0303]

Hmmm...I don''t know. First of all, what''s done is done, so it can''t be undone.

I think the guy you called didn''t care, but I''m not sure how is GF feels about that. There have been some threads on this board about GF being offended for not being invited, or not invited by name, so I think it''s possible that a GF out there is not happy. That being said, sometime this summer (seems like a long time ago) my finace was invited to a club by his BF girlfriend and she spent the whole night all over him (my fiance not her BF) and I was LIVID after the fact. But then again, we are engaged to be married and have been together for 13 years. I think if this girl invited by fiance to something again and I wasn''t, I would be really angry. But there''s a messy history there.

So overall, I think it''s ok. The wedding is small, and you were careful to get important SO in. If a new GF out there is offended, there is nothing you can do about it anyways.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I think your solution is totally fine, and its sweet of you to be so open to having them bring dates to the wedding.

 

[Octavia]

LauraBabe, this is my plan, too. People who are dating exclusively will get invited together from the start, but singles will get a +1 if space becomes available. I think this works when most people at the wedding will know lots of other people there, though -- but since you''re having a small wedding, you''ll easily be able to keep tabs on all that.