Invitation wording?

[Amzizzle]

So I am finalizing the wording and wanted to see what everyone thinks.

Please share our joy as
Amzizzle and StudFiance
exchange marriage vows

Sunday,the twenty-first of November
two-thousand and ten
four ''o'' clock in the afternoon

The Fancypants venue
123 North Street
Orlando,Fl

Dinner and Merriment to Follow


We also got a few options on wording the RSVP card (I wanted something cute and different)So here are the option:

Wouldn''t miss it!
Can''t make it

Love to!
Brokenhearted!

Fortunately
Unfortunately

Yes,ready to dance
No,won''t be dancing


At the very bottom it will also ask to Please request two songs (anyone have better wording for that? or do we think that''s ok?)

Thanks everyone!

 

[ilovesparkles]

Sounds great to me! I vote for "Love to! : Broken-hearted!)

 

[Future Mrs. Sterling]

A "minor" change: Two-thousand ten
Instead of: Two-thousand and ten

It''s the grammatically correct way, and if you have any sticklers out there, they might catch it.

I vote for: Wouldn''t miss it!/Can''t make it.

 

[onedrop]

Only change I would make on the invitation wording is that you should spell out "Florida."

For the RSVPs I would choose the wording about dancing or not dancing since you are also asking for song requests on the response card.

 

[Amzizzle]

Thanks for all the tips guys!

I wasn''t sure about the wording.Do you think there is a more casual way to write the date in whatnot as well?

Oh and what do you think of the dinner and merriment to follow line? Should we change it?

 

[zipzapgirl]

The only thing that seems a little weird to me is the first part. It seems like you are switching from first person to third person in the same sentence.

Please share our joy as
Amzizzle and StudFiance
exchange marriage vows

I think you need to insert a we in there

Please share our joy as we,
Amzizzle and StudFiance
exchange marriage vows

Or go straight third person

Amzizzle and StudFiance
invite you to share their joy as
they exchange marriage vows

 

[sammyj]

Date: 4/13/2010 1:28:46 PM
Author: Future Mrs. Sterling
A ''minor'' change: Two-thousand ten
Instead of: Two-thousand and ten

It''s the grammatically correct way, and if you have any sticklers out there, they might catch it.

I vote for: Wouldn''t miss it!/Can''t make it.

I would also eliminate the hyphen.

It should read ''four o''clock in the afternoon'' and I assume there will be spaces after the commas in the final drafts.

My favourite wording on the response cards are ''wouldn''t miss it / can''t make it'' and I love the word ''merriment'' so definitely keep ''Dinner and Merriment to follow!''