invitation wording help...

[kcoursolle]

Hi everyone,
It''s time for us to order our invites.

My fi and I, my parents, and his parents are all contributing to the cost of the wedding. How do I properly word the invitation?

Thanks for your help. Also, did you guys order a few extra invites in case there were extra people you wanted to invite or you made mistakes on a few of the invites when filling them out?

 

[monarch64]

IMO, I would leave yourselves out on the invite and list the bride's parents then the groom's parents' names:

Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxx
&
Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxx

request the honor of your presence blah blah blah

Unless you really want your guests to know that you and FI are also contributing.

And yes, definitely order a few (maybe 10-20 depending on number of guests) extra invites/envelopes in case of mistakes or later additions to your list. ETA: now that I think about it, order more envelopes if you're hand-addressing them since that's where mistakes tend to occur.

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 4/13/2007 12:41:27 AM
Author: monarch64
IMO, I would leave yourselves out on the invite and list the bride''s parents then the groom''s parents'' names:

Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxx
&
Mr. and Mrs. xxxxxx

request the honor of your presence blah blah blah

Unless you really want your guests to know that you and FI are also contributing.

And yes, definitely order a few (maybe 10-20 depending on number of guests) extra invites/envelopes in case of mistakes or later additions to your list. ETA: now that I think about it, order more envelopes if you''re hand-addressing them since that''s where mistakes tend to occur.

Thanks Monarch, this was really helpful and we are hand addressing. Do you know if it matters which side of the family should be listed first, mine or his?

 

[flopkins]

usu the brides parents are listed first.

I think we had the same situation, so we had

mr. and mrs. xxxx (brides'' parents)

together with

mr. and mrs. xxxx (gm''s parents)

blah blah... we paid for part of the wedding too but just didn''t include that in the invite... it got too complicated.

there''s a website, I think it''s verseit.com? that has lots of variations.

 

[monarch64]

I agree with Flopkins, bride''s parents first, then groom''s.

 

[blushingbride]

There''s also nothing wrong with letting people know you are contributing the cost of the wedding - you worked hard to earn the money, so why not? My FI and I are helping too because our wedding is in Westchester County, a New York City suburb, so it''s extremely expensive. We also wanted to have some say in what we wanted and therefore, by paying for things we have some control. You can word it like this:

Together with their parents

Your full name
and

Your FI''s full name

Request the honor of your presence, etc, etc, etc.

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 4/13/2007 10:18:25 AM
Author: blushingbride
There''s also nothing wrong with letting people know you are contributing the cost of the wedding - you worked hard to earn the money, so why not? My FI and I are helping too because our wedding is in Westchester County, a New York City suburb, so it''s extremely expensive. We also wanted to have some say in what we wanted and therefore, by paying for things we have some control. You can word it like this:


Together with their parents


Your full name

and


Your FI''s full name


Request the honor of your presence, etc, etc, etc.

We''re splitting it 3 ways too and this is how we plan to do it. But then again, neither of our parents are traditional.

 

[Kit]

We''re doing the Together with their Parents thing too. I feel pretty good about it. I also really don''t like the idea of having our parents names on the invitation...for some reason it makes me feel like our wedding is less about us. Is that weird? It''s just me I guess.

 

[akw94]

We''re doing "together with our families...."

I didn''t think at all about who is contributing when I made that decision. I just like the way it sounds and feel like that is what is true. The wedding is a combination of us and our families, not just us, not just our parents, also includes our children, etc... I first planned to do "together with our children" but wanted our parents included too.
I sort of use tradition when I want to and allow myself the freedom of just doing what I like, at times.

 

[kcoursolle]

I think I''m going to put both of our parents in. I made the following mockup, what do you think?

my parents
and
his parents
invite you to join with them in the union of
my name
and
his name
on Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August 2007
at four o''clock in the afternoon
ceremony location
ceremony address

Immediately following the ceremony we wish you
will join us at a reception dinner and celebration
reception location
reception address

 

[ponderer]

It is really helpful to have everyones name on the invite. My parents actually recieved an invite to a wedding and they were unable to identify how they knew these people. Their best guess was that they knew the grooms parents but really did not know the bride or groom. Needless to say, they declined to attend. They later found out that they did know the grooms parents but the groom and his mother (whom they were aquainted with) had a different last names.

We used the very traditional:

Mr & Mrs Brides Parents
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Brides name
to
Grooms name
son of
Mr and Mrs Grooms parents

 

[Sooner82]

We are helping with the wedding costs as well. However, I don''t like the "together with their parents" line in that case.

The invitation is not about who is paying, but who is hosting.

This is what mine look like:

my parents
his parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
my name
and
his name
Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August
two thousand seven
three o''clock
ceremony location
ceremony address

Don''t put and between the parents name; it looks weird and is not needed.
Spell out everything.
Don''t put afternoon or evening, unless you really think your guests will show up at 4am.
You can leave out some small words like "on".

Make sure you ask and get the honest feedback from your parents and his parents. It seems obvious but I''ve heard parents complain about not being mentioned on the invitation at all and it upset them.

 

[Sooner82]

I wrote that off the top of my head, so I might have missed something...but that''s the general jist.

 

[Sooner82]

Also, you don''t have to mention the bride/groom''s last name if it is the same as the parents and you mention the parents. Example: Mary Elizabeth not Mary Elizabeth Smith

 

[kcoursolle]

Date: 4/18/2007 12:16:32 AM
Author: Sooner82
We are helping with the wedding costs as well. However, I don''t like the ''together with their parents'' line in that case.

The invitation is not about who is paying, but who is hosting.

This is what mine look like:

my parents
his parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
my name
and
his name
Saturday, the twenty-fifth of August
two thousand seven
three o''clock
ceremony location
ceremony address

Don''t put and between the parents name; it looks weird and is not needed.
Spell out everything.
Don''t put afternoon or evening, unless you really think your guests will show up at 4am.
You can leave out some small words like ''on''.

Make sure you ask and get the honest feedback from your parents and his parents. It seems obvious but I''ve heard parents complain about not being mentioned on the invitation at all and it upset them.

I really like these suggestions, thanks a bunch! I will definitely email both sides the tenative wording before I order the invites.