Wedding Invitation Etiquette Snafu - how bad is it?

[loverocks]

Okay, so I made a boo boo. I am at the post office and the nice lady is re-weighing the invites for me so I know that the postage is all right. She politely asks, "you did use regular 42 cent stamps for the RSVP envelopes, right?". Hhhhhmmm.

I totally forgot to put stamps on the RSVP envelopes. Mini freak-out ensues, eventually devolving into me asking random woman in the post office what they think. Like a mini PS poll. Results were split.
Alright, it could be worse. I was only able to get through writing out my half of the invites last night. So, it''s my family and friends. We have no extra envelopes. Actually, we have no extra anything. We ordered 75 and we need to mail out 73. It only left 2 for error. But -- the invite vendor messed up my street name slightly and missed a letter in the town name, so I DO have 75 "extra" outer envelopes, but they have some spelling mistakes.
So, what I decided was that I would mail out the ones to my family as is (missing the stamp on RSVP), and I took out 11 invitations that were going to my family and work friends. I will re-do those properly, BUT the outer envelope will need to be the ones with the spelling mistakes.
The issue was not really the money involved in having the envelpes re-printed (about 60-70.00). The bigger problem is that it will take 2-3 weeks for them to come in. It''s July 18 and the wedding is Oct. 17. I think it''s cutting in close.

How bad is it??? Honestly.....

 

[meresal]

It will be fine... as long as you mail them the week you get them in, you will be alright. I''ve gotten wedding invitations right at a month before the wedding. If you mail them by mid August, they''ll be there just a little over a month and a half before the wedding.

 

[galeteia]

Well, if I was getting an invitation to come to a wedding, I would be honoured and not quibble about coughing up an extra 42 cents for a stamp, considering that the couple would be spending quite a bit more than that for the pleasure of my company on their special day.

We never have stamps around the house, so if I was worried about you not getting the response in time (trying to imagine all possibilities here) I would probably email/call you to let you know I was going to RSVP.

So if I were you, don't sweat it. I don't think you've delivered a deadly insult nestled inside their invitation in the form of a missing stamp.

I'll be the MOH at a friend's wedding in the next two years, and if she forgot the stamp, I'd probably call her up and crack a few jokes about it just to ease her mind. Don't fret.

Edit: Threadjack! I just hit my 1000th post. I hope it helped ease your mind!

 

[loverocks]

Date: 7/18/2008 4:29:18 PM
Author: meresal
It will be fine... as long as you mail them the week you get them in, you will be alright. I''ve gotten wedding invitations right at a month before the wedding. If you mail them by mid August, they''ll be there just a little over a month and a half before the wedding.

I should have been more clear in my original post....I already mailed them, we at least the ones for my family....it is my work and personal friends, as well as FI that have yet to go out....
AAGGHHH....why am I stressing this??? I feel like Emily Post will come and whack me on the knuckles....

 

[pjean]

If you''re worried at all, call them and laugh at your mistake. That way, they''ll know you weren''t just too cheap to include a stamp.

I (unfortunately) have a lot of experience using humor to diffuse my own idiocy. Sigh... It usually works, though.

Off topic: my current favourite example of this strategy.

 

[loverocks]

Thank you, ladies....I am begginning to feel a little better about it....I just don't want people to think I'm cheap (really, would someone think that), or worse that I didn't know the etiquette...
Good sugestion to call, thought, that is a good approach!

All this reminds me that I wanted to post pictures of the invites to share. I think they came out really pretty! I will try to do that later tonight

 

[musey]

Before planning a wedding and learning about such etiquette things, I wouldn''t have given a second thought to providing my own stamp. Now I know "better", and it still wouldn''t bother me.

For what it''s worth

 

[Haven]

DON''T WORRY! It is a very kind thing to provide stamps on the response envelopes, and if you asked any etiquette maven about it she would tell you that she doesn''t think you should even provide the envelope, response card, OR stamp in the first place.

According to U.S. etiquette, guests should respond to a formal invitation with a proper formal response, which is a handwritten note (on their own stationery) either accepting or regretfully declining the invitation. Response cards were originally used in the not-so-distant past for business functions in order to make it easier for one''s associates to respond, and they somehow came into use for social events like weddings. They are not, however, technically proper, and Miss Manners (Judith Martin) has a great bit about how she finds it astonishing when people are miffed that they didn''t receive a response card/envelope/stamp in an invitation--do they honestly not possess the ability to put a proper note in the mail without all of the materials being provided for them?

Anyway, we used response cards for our wedding ONLY because my husband (EEE!) thought his friends and family wouldn''t know what to do if we didn''t include them. They''re a nice way to help your guests easily respond, and if anyone complains about having to locate and stick their own stamp on the envelope, well, that''s just silly.

 

[miraclesrule]

Date: 7/18/2008 5:13:24 PM
Author: pjean
If you''re worried at all, call them and laugh at your mistake. That way, they''ll know you weren''t just too cheap to include a stamp.

I (unfortunately) have a lot of experience using humor to diffuse my own idiocy. Sigh... It usually works, though.

Off topic: my current favourite example of this strategy.

pjean: that was awesome!! I loved the invites for holiday cards. Too funny....


Loverocks: No use in worrying about what you can''t take back. It will be a good laugh in the event that anyone brings it up. Weddings are stressful and everyone makes a boo-boo. If this is the severity of the boo-boos you make...Girl, you are good to go!!