Introduction and question(s)

[Anonymous]

Hello Ladies!

I''m a newbie here, so I thought I''d introduce myself and ask a few questions while I''m at it. My bf and I have been together for 2 years and living together since August of 2009. We''ve known for quite a while that we want to be married to each other and it''s just been a matter of saving for an e-ring. In the last couple of months the two of us have learned a *LOT* about diamonds from going in to look in brick and mortar stores (shudder), then going home to do more online research, etc. and repeating that process a few times til we both felt like we knew enough.

I''ve had a lot of trouble with being patient for a variety of reasons that my bf and I have talked about a lot...mostly relating to me having a little trouble with the living together w/o at least being engaged issue but mostly about family commitment issues, etc. (long story, trust me) I guess what I''m saying is that it''s been a pretty long road for a variety of reasons, even though we''ve only lived together for a little over 8 months.

So fast forward to now. On Monday he ordered the diamond from BN (an ideal cut that he checked on the HCA calculator .63 VS2 I round brilliant) and we already have the setting picked out that we both LOVE. He let me see the diamond yesterday and it''s AMAZING! He thinks it''s a little small, but I think it''s just perfect. Anyhow, he''s taking it in to the jeweler to have it set today. He''s told me that he will propose by the end of the month...but I''m having a REALLY hard time being patient. I''m actually losing sleep over it! He''s trying to be patient with me, but he''s also REALLY enjoying his position of knowing the how/when/where of the proposal (which is a total secret) and I''m NOT good with secrets or surprises. It even started a small argument this morning when I thought he was rubbing it in that he would be able to look at it whenever I''m not around until he proposes.

I''ve been pretty crazy (mostly internally, but I do admit it''s leaking out at all the wrong times). I''m really hoping that reading some of the LIW stories and having an outlet where I can talk to other ladies in similar situations will help me make it through, so that''s why I''m here!

Oh the question was really just does anyone have any advice as to how I can make the waiting less painful (yes, it''s honestly painful at this point)?

Thanks!!

 

[LadyJane83]

Welcome!

Lots of us are right there with you. There''s another thread on here about how we are driving everyone crazy with our incessant ring talk. I love round brilliants in the .5 to 1 carat range, they are bright and sparkly. I''m glad you found a setting you love!

I think it is hard knowing that you don''t have any control over when you are getting the ring. The anticipation is maddening! We''ve only been officially looking at rings for a week or so, and already I''m having so much trouble sleeping and concentrating at work. I can be kind of impatient, and I just want this done quick! I''m also stressing right now about whether I want a Tiffany setting or a pave setting... told the bf to just surprise me (which he was going to do anyway, but the surprise would''ve been the particular pave setting... now its between a few pave settings and a Tiffany setting). But, I won''t know when he orders it, has it, or is going to give it to me. Just try to hang in there, and vent and get excited on here as much as you want.

I agree with you about living together without being engaged, to the extent that I think living together can really forestall marriage. My bf and I have been together for 4.5 years and he was the first to bring up getting married (well before we lived together). He''s a very family oriented person, so I assumed it would happen soon after we moved in and started sharing expenses etc. We talked about it in passing, but nothing happened for over a year. A few months ago, I made it clear that I wanted to get married soon, explained I was hurt that he hadn''t initiated any serious discussions about it, and told him I was starting to wonder if he had doubts about our future together. He said absolutely not and that he hadn''t intentionally meant to put it off.

Anyway, try to relax and just let it happen (easier said than done, I know)

 

[dinamit]

Hi Tammy and welcome to LIW!

As ladyjane said, many of us are in a similar position. My bf also has the ring as of yesterday, but I have no idea when he will propose - at least you know it will be withing the month. I am also tired of waiting - try 7 years! We''ve been living together for a long time and yes, it seems guys just get comfortable. We know have a son as well, so as far as I am concerned, it''s really overdue.

Hmm, all I can say is try to distract yourself. My bf told me I have to forget all about the ring as if it doesn''t exist but that IS SO HARD! Soon enough you''ll be engaged and the agonising wait will be over. In the meantime, tell us all about that lovely setting you found!

Sending you dust,

dinamit

 

[dinamit]

Oh, I forgot to ask, what''s the 77 in your screen name?

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks, ladies!

dinamit - the "77" is for the year I was born...33 2 days ago.

I know I need to just BREATHE and be patient. I *think* it's going to happen next Friday or Saturday. We have a trip planned to go to San Francisco and already have reservations for a bay cruise and dinner at a lovely French restaurant. I just need to fill up the next 6-7-8 days with so much work that I don't have time to focus on how much I want to hear those 4 little words and have the ring on my finger.

As for the setting, I really wanted something simple and elegant. We took a lot of time looking at settings online and in stores but finally found a narrow, tapered cathedral setting with a flat bottom shank in white gold. I hope that makes sense, I have only seen the one we found at a local jewelry store and haven't been able to find one online even though I've spent quite a bit of time trying.

Really..can't...wait!

 

[Cinna]

Breathe! What I do is try and focus on work... until I get totally distracted by PS.

But it's Friday so maybe go jogging or a walk outside in the sunlight (Right after I wrote that I realized it could totally not be a beautiful day outside at your geographical location)
But working out can also be a great distraction. I would try to avoid thinking about it. It'll happen when it happens I tell myself! Think of an LIW version of a watched pot never boils... or at least takes an unnecessarily and ridiculous amount of time

 

[Indylady]

Welcome!

Get yourself to a salon and get a manicure! It will be relaxing, and keep your nails pretty for the big day! In the meantime, just relax and enjoy this time while you two are still boyfriend and girlfriend, because its going to end really soon. Congratulations, and I''m looking forward to seeing your ring in SMTR!

 

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the encouragement.

This weekend went by pretty fast...though I know I crammed a LOT of activities in! I shampooed the carpets in our home and the car, cleaned the house, went shopping for household necessities, went to work for a few hours and a few other things I''ve forgotten at this point.

I had a pretty big discussion w/my bf about what I needed (to not be reminded of it because I''m having a hard enough time already) and to know what weekend it''d be so I wouldn''t get my hopes up too soon. He told me it''d be either Friday or Saturday of this week (3/26 or 3/27) so it''ll definitely happen on our trip to SF.

I''m only a few days away now, so it''s MUCH easier. He has been really great about not bringing it up and has helped keep me busy, which is awesome.

Indy - I actually did my nails this weekend because they looked TERRIBLE after doing all of the work on Saturday. It wasn''t a professional, but I feel like my hands are definitely ready for my e-ring.