Introducing myself...

[wwmd8118]

I just discovered pricescope this week, and while I was reading all kinds of details about rings, I was pleasantly surprised when I saw the "Ladies in Waiting" forum because I knew that's where I belong - a place with other women just like me! Here's my story:

My BF and I have been together 4 years (just celebrated 4 years last month) and we are 31 (him) and 29 (me). We met working together 5 years ago, started dating, and after 2 years, I decided to go back to school for my PhD, which required moving across the country. We moved together and moved in together at that point - we moved to an extremely expensive city and my salary went down to virtually nothing plus we had always talked about getting married. Since we moved, he's been wonderful and so supportive, both emotionally and financially. We always talked about getting married, and before the move, he had always said that he wanted to be financially ready and debt-free, which wouldn't be the case until we'd been together for 3-4 years. After the move, I knew this timeline got pushed back slightly because I definitely threw a wrench in the financial plans, what with giving up my salary and all. The last 6 months have been a little tough for me because we've been together substantially longer than any of our friends, yet two of my best friends just got engaged. We've been to countless weddings of people who have known each other less time than we've been dating. I feel like I've been waiting forever because I've been getting my hopes up for the past 2 years and subsequently getting let down, even though he let me know he wasn't financially ready yet. So, needless to say, I'm tired of waiting. The good news is that here we are at 4 years, and it appears things are moving in the right direction. We've talked about our wedding timeline (which is summer/fall 2012), and over the past couple months, he has started asking questions about rings and I've pointed him in the right direction (first, I got him shopping online, and second, I showed him what I like). I'm hopeful I'll have my own little piece of bling in the next few months, so we'll see.

I love this forum idea - IRL sometimes it seems that none of my friends can relate to my situation because they're all marrying (and even moving to the having kids stage) men they've been with half the time I've been with mine, but I know the ladies here can relate, which is pretty comforting. Glad to be here.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Welcome! We are glad to have you! Sounds like things are on the right track for you.

 

[Blackpaw]

Welcome, wwmd it sounds like your stay here will be short and sweet, as it should be...dont forget to enjoy it though, its such an exciting, romantic time before a proposal

 

[wwmd8118]

Thanks, ladies. I still can't (don't?) believe it's getting close because I feel like I've been waiting (and dealing with LIW-itis ) for so long that I can't believe that may change soon. Wish I'd discovered this site earlier, but I'm glad to find it now. It's nice to have the support to share in both the angst and the success stories!

 

[confusedaisy]

Congrats on nabbing such a great guy!! I'm in the same boat and some days it's frustrating but some days it's so romantic thinking of where you have both been and where you're headed. Welcome and hope your stay is short and sweet!!

 

[wwmd8118]

This is pretty ironic timing, since I just joined this site last night, but I found out this morning that my brother (who I had no idea was even thinking about this) just got engaged to a girl (who's just okay) that he's been with for half the time I've been with my BF. To add insult to injury, she's wearing the ring I picked out and showed to my boyfriend last week!!!! I know I should be happy but I'm feeling a bit down about it. I figured you fellow LIWs would understand.

 

[confusedaisy]

Oh my- that's just horrible. I would be furious!! I'm so sorry! There is no excuse for that!

(But on a side note- the ring style I always thought I wanted was the same ring my boyfriends brother ended up using to propose to his now wife- needless to say, I fell out of love with it very quickly... are we PS twins?? )

 

[TwinkleStar]

Welcome, wwmd! This is a great place to vent - we've all probably been there and felt (or are feeling!) the exact same things! I definitely totally understand where you're coming from about all of your friends getting engaged, some even having kids, right now. The waiting can be brutal, but like BlackPaw said, I'm also trying to enjoy it now!

You and your bf sound like you have an amazing relationship, and it's awesome that things are heading down the right path.

Boo to your brother's gf having the ring you love! Did they even know, or is it pure coincidence? The benefit of getting engaged after is that now you can customize your ring to make it even more your own, with cool detailing or secret stones or even a whole different design. I have to also say my brother found the most gorgeous stone that was close to what I'd want as well, and the LIW-itis definitely kicked in initially. One of the other girls here mentioned it, but it's even tougher when it's someone close like in your family!

Here's lots of *dust* that your stay is short and sweet!

 

[wwmd8118]

You guys are the best - I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to vent and know I'm not being judged and you aren't thinking I'm a terrible person for feeling this way after my brother just got engaged. He didn't know that was the ring I had picked out, so I can't really blame him. My mom said it perfectly today when I talked to her - she said her first thought was that he was going to steal my thunder after I'd waited so long for it, which is exactly how I felt. As an aside, my brother is significantly older than me and has been married multiple times, so nobody's really over the moon about his engagement. Anyway, I do feel better now - I know my time is coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get here. Oh, and we're with the BF's family this wknd and his mom has said to my BF 3 times tonight - your brother is really in love with his new gf of 3 months, at this rate, he may get engaged before you! I know she's trying to help my cause by pushing him along but I don't want to hear that! Aarrrgggh. Sorry for the rants - thanks so much for the support.

 

[TwinkleStar]

You guys are the best - I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to vent and know I'm not being judged and you aren't thinking I'm a terrible person for feeling this way after my brother just got engaged. He didn't know that was the ring I had picked out, so I can't really blame him. My mom said it perfectly today when I talked to her - she said her first thought was that he was going to steal my thunder after I'd waited so long for it, which is exactly how I felt. As an aside, my brother is significantly older than me and has been married multiple times, so nobody's really over the moon about his engagement. Anyway, I do feel better now - I know my time is coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get here. Oh, and we're with the BF's family this wknd and his mom has said to my BF 3 times tonight - your brother is really in love with his new gf of 3 months, at this rate, he may get engaged before you! I know she's trying to help my cause by pushing him along but I don't want to hear that! Aarrrgggh. Sorry for the rants - thanks so much for the support.

In the same boat! Beyond all of my gfs getting engaged after having dated less time than we have (and of course, not anyone's fault that they and their FIs were ready when they were!), the reminders/questions/friendly teasing can feel like knives in your heart! We all try to be so good about LIW-itis, and sometimes, all it takes is to NOT have reminders about it from other people. HUGS!

 

[confusedaisy]

You guys are the best - I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to vent and know I'm not being judged and you aren't thinking I'm a terrible person for feeling this way after my brother just got engaged. He didn't know that was the ring I had picked out, so I can't really blame him. My mom said it perfectly today when I talked to her - she said her first thought was that he was going to steal my thunder after I'd waited so long for it, which is exactly how I felt. As an aside, my brother is significantly older than me and has been married multiple times, so nobody's really over the moon about his engagement. Anyway, I do feel better now - I know my time is coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get here. Oh, and we're with the BF's family this wknd and his mom has said to my BF 3 times tonight - your brother is really in love with his new gf of 3 months, at this rate, he may get engaged before you! I know she's trying to help my cause by pushing him along but I don't want to hear that! Aarrrgggh. Sorry for the rants - thanks so much for the support.

Well that's a sigh of relief- I assumed he knew what you wanted and picked that for his fiance anyway. Still- what a coincidence. Don't worry about the wait- the ring will be here soon enough!

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

Welcome! We're glad to have you here. Sorry to hear the ring you wanted is on someone else's hand now but just think, the ring you'll get will be the absolute perfect ring you you! Hope your stay is short and sweet

 

[wwmd8118]

You guys are the best - I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to vent and know I'm not being judged and you aren't thinking I'm a terrible person for feeling this way after my brother just got engaged. He didn't know that was the ring I had picked out, so I can't really blame him. My mom said it perfectly today when I talked to her - she said her first thought was that he was going to steal my thunder after I'd waited so long for it, which is exactly how I felt. As an aside, my brother is significantly older than me and has been married multiple times, so nobody's really over the moon about his engagement. Anyway, I do feel better now - I know my time is coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get here. Oh, and we're with the BF's family this wknd and his mom has said to my BF 3 times tonight - your brother is really in love with his new gf of 3 months, at this rate, he may get engaged before you! I know she's trying to help my cause by pushing him along but I don't want to hear that! Aarrrgggh. Sorry for the rants - thanks so much for the support.

In the same boat! Beyond all of my gfs getting engaged after having dated less time than we have (and of course, not anyone's fault that they and their FIs were ready when they were!), the reminders/questions/friendly teasing can feel like knives in your heart! We all try to be so good about LIW-itis, and sometimes, all it takes is to NOT have reminders about it from other people. HUGS!

EXACTLY! I know that people are trying to help when they make the comments they do, but at this point, I don't really need others to remind me that we've been together for a long time and aren't yet married. I've had 3 random people from my old job email me in the last 2 weeks to see how I was doing and see if we were engaged yet. I have learned from this experience, though - I know now even more than I did before to be sensitive to people who are awaiting an engagement or maybe trying to have kids or something like that, and not to ask questions about timeline and whatnot. I know now that those questions can be a bit off-putting and you have to realize the person is probably getting it from everyone. Anyway, we're home now so I'm away from the future in-laws and their constant nagging about when we're going to get married. Whew.

 

[wwmd8118]

You guys are the best - I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to vent and know I'm not being judged and you aren't thinking I'm a terrible person for feeling this way after my brother just got engaged. He didn't know that was the ring I had picked out, so I can't really blame him. My mom said it perfectly today when I talked to her - she said her first thought was that he was going to steal my thunder after I'd waited so long for it, which is exactly how I felt. As an aside, my brother is significantly older than me and has been married multiple times, so nobody's really over the moon about his engagement. Anyway, I do feel better now - I know my time is coming, I just wish it would hurry up and get here. Oh, and we're with the BF's family this wknd and his mom has said to my BF 3 times tonight - your brother is really in love with his new gf of 3 months, at this rate, he may get engaged before you! I know she's trying to help my cause by pushing him along but I don't want to hear that! Aarrrgggh. Sorry for the rants - thanks so much for the support.

Well that's a sigh of relief- I assumed he knew what you wanted and picked that for his fiance anyway. Still- what a coincidence. Don't worry about the wait- the ring will be here soon enough!

As much as I'm a little annoyed with my brother, I guess I can't be annoyed with him about the ring. I have to actually give him some props - apparently she knew nothing about it and he did it all on his own, which is pretty impressive because it's beautiful. Hopefully I'll have a similar experience to you and fall out of love with that ring now and in love with another, though.

 

[wwmd8118]

Welcome! We're glad to have you here. Sorry to hear the ring you wanted is on someone else's hand now but just think, the ring you'll get will be the absolute perfect ring you you! Hope your stay is short and sweet

Thanks, grlsbestfrnd! That's what my friend keeps telling me - my ring will be perfect for me and it'll be mine and that will make it super special. Honestly, I think I'll be so glad to have one, it won't matter what it looks like at this point!