Interviews and Appearances.

[Gypsy]

So my hubby was laid off in January. And he went to many interviews that seemed to go very well. But he was always 'their second choice' and either turned down, or offered something that wasn't feasible.

SO... a several of weeks ago we were doing something stupid (don't ask, it involves a stupid bird who wouldn't fly and much aggrevation) and we were waiting for animal control for HOURS and then one of our neighboors says that there happens to be a cop car downstairs parked and talking to another one. So I ask my husband to go down and tell them to come up and help the bird. And he says, honey... the way I look that wouldn't be a good thing. And I was like... waaa??? He was wearing a screen print tee and 7 jeans and nice shoes. But, we agreed that I would drive down and talk to the cops and he's watch the bird.

Fast forward a couple of weeks and he gets a couple of calls for interviews. And for some reason I remembered his comment from the bird night and the cops. And I said to him... you know honey, you always dress in a nice suit, polish your shoes, ironed clean shirt... everything. But... how about you shave your face and let your hair grow in for these next couple of interviews.

And well... he did and was offered one of the jobs.

Which got me thinking...

This is what he 'normally' looks like...

and I guess it gives a certain impression to people. Not to me, because well to me he's just HIM. But apparently, the whole bald head facial hair thing... may have contributed to the 'you were our second choice'... instead of 'your hired' all these months.

Which I thought was strange.

I'm just wondering what you all think? I mean... even in a really nice suit and dressed to the nines, clean and well groomed (even with the bald head and chin thing) with a great personality, and a stong interview and background... would a person's appearance hold you back, either conciously or unconciously, from hiring them?

(This is for property management, costumer service and sales BTW)

 

[arjunajane]

Hey Gypsy,
interesting topic.
Do you have a pic of the "after" look, so I can answer accurately
on my impressions?

Or do you just mean that he had head hair and no facial hair instead?

 

[Dannielle]

Personally I think your DH is hunky

But I do find that alot of employers do have a certain look that they find desirable.

FI used to wear his hair a bit longer and had a bit more facial hair. He would get called in for interviews and progress through the stages and usually make it to the final interview but wouldn''t be offered a position. At the begining of last year he started going to the gym, lost weight and gained some muscle. He cut his hair and is always clean shaven- the first job interview he went for he was offered.

The recruiter even stated that they thought he looked the part (He is a business analyst working in IT, personally I have no idea what that has to do with anything?

)

This is a recent picture

 

[MakingTheGrade]

If he was interviewing for a job that involved a lot of interacting with customers then I could see appearance being a bigger factor.

 

[VRBeauty]

Gypsy: Having met your DH in person, I''d second Dannielle''s opinion that your hubby is a very good looking guy! However, some people could consider his look to be too edgy, fashion-forward, or even too menacing. Or a prospective employer could decide that John is too likely to be an independent thinker based on his looks (which not all employers would welcome). So yes, I think there''s a possibility that his appearance was a factor, especially for positions that involve a lot of interaction with the public in general (as opposed to people in his specific industry.)

On the other hand, there''s every possibility that John''s skills combined with his personality won the day -- that he was the right person and best candidate for this position!

 

[Pandora II]

Facial hair is a big psychological no-no to a lot of people.

Professor types can get away with it, but younger people with trendy facial hair is less acceptable.

ETA: I am someone who has a serious dislike of facial hair - it would definitely have stopped me dating someone... would it stop me employing someone? Probably not but in a situation with two equally good candidates it might tip the balance.

I know this is probably very wrong of me - but you wanted an honest answer!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Yeah, appearances are a big factor in first impressions as well.

You should have heard the big lecture we got to prep us for medical school interviews. It''s a very competitive application process, and they were going so far as offer us counsel on what kind of jewelery/accesories and perfume to wear, and heel height depending of how tall you were. And of course, no weirdly dyed hair, take out all facial piercings if possible, wear a professional looking suit, etc. It was very detailed.

But they meant well because the schools get so many almost equally qualified applicants that if they''re deciding between two people, the slightest thing that rubs them the wrong way (a nose stud, a beard, an overly gaudy accessory or make up that was too heavy handed) can tip the balance out of your favor.

 

[neatfreak]

Having recently met John I know he is a total SWEETHEART. But his normal look is a bit rough looking. That beard/goatee style combined with the bald head unfortunately is also a look favored by many prison guards and gang members...so it just conjurs a "hard" image in my head.

Knowing what his profession is unfortunately I do think it could have been a factor...but who cares because now he has a new job!

 

[tigian]

Interesting observations regarding facial hair. I never really thought about it before. DH has some facial hair and I never thought it could possibly work against him. Glad your DH got the job though.

 

[tlh]

Actually, I think you hit the nail on the head, on the subconcious level. A bald head, and a gohti, can appear menacing, even if the individual is not. That weird gut reaction... which isn''t meant to be prejudicial - can be...

I am very happy he got the job though!

 

[Gypsy]

Edgy and dangerous looking. Oh, ROFLMAO. I just see him, and that is the opposite of his personality. And yes, I do get the prison guard reference, which is why he did did shave his facial hair.

As for how he looks now, no I have no pics. The look is too new, and I have no camera (that I can find). But basically take the facial hair and distribute it sparcely on his skull.

I''m very happy he got the job, and so is he. But I just think it''s so facinating that something that was LITTERALLY right in front of my eyes, and so easily adressed, might have been the reason he wasn''t offered the previous positions.

Great dialog guys, and yes, I did want honesty.

I personally like the look, but I do like him happy, confident and employeed more. Though the saved head is coming back eventually, the goatee will not be he''s said.

 

[iwannaprettyone]

ha, this stirs me as I have a similar story.

I met a guy in 1997, he had very long (mid back) hair and a long goatee (think 5 inchs). He walks in with holey jeans and an black Iron Maiden t-shirt. I noticed his beautiful brown glittering eyes and a smile that was mmm, melt your heart. When he asked me on a date it was a

HECK NO! I thought this guy might drag me out in the alley and murder me hahahaha.

Fast forward 7 years, i meet this GORGEOUS guy well dressed, great hair and a barely their 5 o''clock shadow and I HAD to meet this man I WAS IN LURVEEEE

- turns out it''s the same guy. Consequently my now DH.

I''ll have to dig up a before pic sometime....too funny.

 

[Fly Girl]

So glad your handsome hubby got a job offer, Gypsy.

Facial hair is a no-no for interviews. It can leave a negative impression, so why take the risk? Just shave for the duration. Once you have the job, you can always grow it back.

 

[HollyS]

As someone who has done a significant amount of interviewing and hiring for a couple of corporations, I can tell you that people will be judged by their appearance - - including hair, facial hair, lack of hair, tattoos, piercings, and all other 21st century styles of dress/grooming which have become commonplace among the younger generations.

If you appear ''too trendy'' or too ''of the moment'', you will be considered less mature, and less serious - - more of a kid. Absolutely. Specifically in non-creative sectors of the job market, you might certainly be rejected for not ''fitting in''.

I didn''t say it was fair. It just is.

But speaking from the other side, as the employer who has hired (women) with tattoos or non-ear piercings . . . well, let''s just say I was never satisfied with their performances or their level of maturity. Almost to a person (and there have been many), they proved to be far less mature and capable. I can''t tell you why. I can only tell you my experience, and that I will never again hire someone with a pierced tongue, lip, nose, or eyebrow. Even if they are in their 30s, and should be grownups. Experience tells me something different.

 

[Miscka]

Date: 7/9/2009 1:42:15 PM
Author: iwannaprettyone
ha, this stirs me as I have a similar story.


I met a guy in 1997, he had very long (mid back) hair and a long goatee (think 5 inchs). He walks in with holey jeans and an black Iron Maiden t-shirt. I noticed his beautiful brown glittering eyes and a smile that was mmm, melt your heart. When he asked me on a date it was a

HECK NO! I thought this guy might drag me out in the alley and murder me hahahaha.


Fast forward 7 years, i meet this GORGEOUS guy well dressed, great hair and a barely their 5 o''clock shadow and I HAD to meet this man I WAS IN LURVEEEE

- turns out it''s the same guy. Consequently my now DH.

I''ll have to dig up a before pic sometime....too funny.

I love this story!!! Please dig up a pic

If I had met my DH a few years ago it would have been a similar story. He had no hair, tons of earrings, very punk rock. I love that individuality about him but it''s not a style I tend to be attracted to in a man. Now he still has a touch of that but is toned down. Thank goodness. Incidentally he did this "toning down" for his career-law.

Gypsy I think this is a fascinating topic and I am so glad he got a job!

 

[Liane]

Date: 7/9/2009 2:01:26 PM
Author: HollyS

As the employer who has hired (women) with tattoos or non-ear piercings . . . well, let''s just say I was never satisfied with their performances or their level of maturity. Almost to a person (and there have been many), they proved to be far less mature and capable. I can''t tell you why. I can only tell you my experience, and that I will never again hire someone with a pierced tongue, lip, nose, or eyebrow. Even if they are in their 30s, and should be grownups. Experience tells me something different.

Doesn''t surprise me (and I say this as a female lawyer with multiple large tattoos).

I don''t think it''s an issue of whether the applicant has tattoos/piercings/unusually dyed hair. I think it''s a question of whether the person has the self-awareness to realize those might be detrimental to show at a corporate job interview and the maturity to at least temporarily cover them up. If the applicant really doesn''t have the self-awareness or social skills to figure out what kind of impression they''re sending, and/or doesn''t have the maturity and willingness to compromise necessary to adjust appearances to suit the situation, then probably that is someone who''s just going to be less skilled at navigating and adapting to social interactions all around.

If you''re interviewing for a job bartending in NYC''s hottest hipster joint, by all means, let the punk rock shine. If you''re interviewing with Goldman Sachs, maybe not so much.

 

[Lilac]

Gypsy - congrats on your husband''s new job!

I think appearance definitely contributes to whether or not someone is hired. Although I don''t think your DH looked overly tough or unprofessional (in the pic you posted), I can see how it might impact a potential employer''s opinion of him especially if it''s for a customer service job. I don''t think it SHOULD necessarily have an impact, but it does.

 

[packrat]

Congratulations to your hubby on his new job!

I dig the look, personally..JD sports the same look! He does change it up now and again-goatee, no goatee, usually a beard for a couple months in the winter b/c it''s warm.

But, he works in a packing house, so a totally different environment.

It sucks that potential employers judge based on appearance, but some do. And, maybe this happened to be a coincidence, who knows? But, he''s got the job regardless, so yay!

 

[Haven]

Date: 7/9/2009 2:26:29 PM
Author: Liane

Date: 7/9/2009 2:01:26 PM

Author: HollyS

As the employer who has hired (women) with tattoos or non-ear piercings . . . well, let''s just say I was never satisfied with their performances or their level of maturity. Almost to a person (and there have been many), they proved to be far less mature and capable. I can''t tell you why. I can only tell you my experience, and that I will never again hire someone with a pierced tongue, lip, nose, or eyebrow. Even if they are in their 30s, and should be grownups. Experience tells me something different.

Doesn''t surprise me (and I say this as a female lawyer with multiple large tattoos).

I don''t think it''s an issue of whether the applicant has tattoos/piercings/unusually dyed hair. I think it''s a question of whether the person has the self-awareness to realize those might be detrimental to show at a corporate job interview and the maturity to at least temporarily cover them up. If the applicant really doesn''t have the self-awareness or social skills to figure out what kind of impression they''re sending, and/or doesn''t have the maturity and willingness to compromise necessary to adjust appearances to suit the situation, then probably that is someone who''s just going to be less skilled at navigating and adapting to social interactions all around.

If you''re interviewing for a job bartending in NYC''s hottest hipster joint, by all means, let the punk rock shine. If you''re interviewing with Goldman Sachs, maybe not so much.

I agree with you, ladies. I''m one of those pierced and tattooed women, but I know enough to cover up my ink and hide my piercings for interviews. I was hired at my current and previous teaching jobs five and three years ago with a tongue ring, but nobody knew it was there because I hid it for all of my interviews. I also wore a flesh-colored ring for the four years that I taught with that piercing.

I do show my tattoos during the warmer months because they''re on my feet and I just can''t hide them if I want to wear work sandals, but my school does not have a problem with them.

Gypsy--Congrats on your hubby''s job!

I''ve sat on many interview panels at my current job, and sadly appearance does factor in a great deal. This reminds me of the recent thread about judgments, and while it may not be fair we do make judgments about a person based on their appearance. I think it is especially true when the factors we are judging are the result of conscious choices made by the person, e.g. facial hair and a shaved head. But research also shows us that we judge people based on their height, voice, facial symmetry, and so on, so I wouldn''t be surprised if his choice to shave his face and grow out his hair had a factor in him being taken seriously.

 

[lala2332]

Date: 7/9/2009 9:07:38 AM
Author: Pandora II
Facial hair is a big psychological no-no to a lot of people.

Professor types can get away with it, but younger people with trendy facial hair is less acceptable.

ETA: I am someone who has a serious dislike of facial hair - it would definitely have stopped me dating someone... would it stop me employing someone? Probably not but in a situation with two equally good candidates it might tip the balance.

I know this is probably very wrong of me - but you wanted an honest answer!

totally agree with Pandora.

 

[beau13]

OF COURSE a person''s appearance can make or break an interview (hiring process), and determine the interviewers choice of applicant. It takes only seconds for one to form a first impression of you, and the way you present yourself (image) is what that first impression is based on..SOLELY! Not saying it''s fair, or right or wrong, it just is what it is!!

 

[Gypsy]

Beau, I do the you the courtesy of not responding EVER to your threads, please return the favor.

Thank you everyone else who has been adding meaningfully to this discussion.

 

[beau13]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:43:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Thank you everyone else who has been adding meaningfully to this discussion.

Your welcome!!
I usually charge clients for this "meaningful" advice..as a certified Image Consultant.
They pay me to work on their "image" for the big interview, or those graduates who are now seeking employment.
Now that I see you edited you post, to single me out..I will say:
I just thought the info would be appreciated or welcomed..since you WERE asking for advice on physical appearance and what role it plays in landing the job!! I don't know anything about Gypsy,(other than she is a member here like thousands of others) and I certianly didn't know I was supposed to look at who posts a question, before I answer it, because that really doesn't make the question any more or less deserving of an answer in my mind. Not sure why my comment offended you, when others have basically said the same things in their replies! Anyway..sorry to have answered your question!

 

[hlmr]

Date: 7/9/2009 6:58:08 PM
Author: beau13

Date: 7/9/2009 6:43:44 PM
Author: Gypsy

Thank you everyone else who has been adding meaningfully to this discussion.

Your welcome!!
I usually charge clients for this 'meaningful' advice..as a certified Image Consultant.
They pay me to work on their 'image' for the big interview, or those graduates who are now seeking employment.
Now that I see you edited you post, to single me out..I will say:
I just thought the info would be appreciated or welcomed..since you WERE asking for advice on physical appearance and what role it plays in landing the job!! I don't know anything about Gypsy,(other than she is a member here like thousands of others) and I certianly didn't know I was supposed to look at who posts a question, before I answer it, because that really doesn't make the question any more or less deserving of an answer in my mind. Not sure why my comment offended you, when others have basically said the same things in their replies! Anyway..sorry to have answered your question!

Gosh, that is generous of you to come out of 'retirement' and offer such 'meaningful advice'!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/9/2009 8:37:02 PM
Author: hlmr

Gosh, that is generous of you to come out of 'retirement' and offer such 'meaningful advice'!

That is what I was thinking too! I am retired too then. hehe

Gypsy, you and your hubby are beautiful!

 

[lala2332]

did I miss something?

 

[PinkTower]

He is quite nice looking!
I am a bit older than you, but I would find him to be well groomed for an interview. Perhaps I would have felt differently a couple years ago, but this is an etablished look today in the large city I live in.
Is it possible that he just interviewed better this time, or was in the right place at the right time?
Best wishes for the new job.

 

[whitby_2773]

i'm not really sure why i thought this, but the first thing that went through my head was "i'll bet he's got a great smile!"

if you didn't know him, his look with a frown/snarl - sure - could be intimidating. but with a big smile? kinda cute!

people bring all kinds of underlying assumptions when they judge a person - sad, but true. more power to him for doing whatever it took to get what he wanted; it's amazing how many people dig their heels in over something like this and miss the bigger picture.

 

[wolftress]

Gypsy, congratulations to your hubby on landing the job! He is a hottie, but I can see that at first glance the bald head/facial hair combination could be intimidating. But then again, DH''s 13 year old brother recently shaved his head for a Leukemia charity drive, and I found HIM intimidating!

I''m so glad you posted this thread because now I can show DH that it does make a difference to job hunting. DH usually has facial hair, but my parents always ask that he shaves his face clean before visiting Singapore because ''otherwise he would get arrested at the airport for looking like a terrorist''. LOL! I know DH is a big teddy bear so I can''t imagine why anyone would think he looks like a terrorist but he must appear quite scary to other people with his full beard.

I agree with everyone else, we do need to see an ''After'' picture of John

 

[Bia]

I personally love facial hair and bald heads. If I were a recruiter, I don''t see how it would play into the decision making...other then thinking his shaved head was cool.

But I get what everyone is saying.

My FI has gotten flack for having facial hair. What can he do? He is who he is. Yes, maybe for an interview he''d do a close shaved beard, but he changes anyway--sometimes its a goatee, sometimes a full-close-shaved beard. As for his hair, he found that having long hair didn''t go over well. At one point he tried growing it long (he has very thick, curly hair that grows out, not down LOL) and a few people (mostly mom types) told him it wasn''t ''as professional.'' Now he sports the ''high & tight'' which is your urban version of the caesar. Its my favorite look on him, but I always tell him, if he ever starts to go bald, SHAVE IT OFF! It''s sexy