Inspired on Kenny's topic!!

[LadyBlue]

Are over weight women judged more harshly then over weight man?

What do you think? When you see a man do you find him cute and cuddly or do you think the same when you see an overwight person no mather the sex.

 

[E B]

Oh, absolutely. I'd say women are judged more harshly than men period, especially when it comes to looks.

 

[Shoopy]

Oh, absolutely. I'd say women are judged more harshly than men period, especially when it comes to looks.

Yup.

 

[princesss]

Oh, absolutely. I'd say women are judged more harshly than men period, especially when it comes to looks.

Yup.

Completely agreed.

 

[radiantquest]

Yes they are. The generalization, if that is what you want to call it is that when a man is over weight he is "well taken care of" and "comfortable". When a woman is over weight she has "let herself go" and "doesnt take care of herself well"

It is really frustrating for us women. Men can gain weight and they are "husky" or "broad".
When women gain weight they are just plain "fat" or "heavy".

 

[Karl_K]

society as a whole does so yes.
since I am rather large I don't judge anyone on their weight.
To me personally, large women are more attrative than skinny women but I don't judge either beyond that.

 

[TooPatient]

Yes they are. The generalization, if that is what you want to call it is that when a man is over weight he is "well taken care of" and "comfortable". When a woman is over weight she has "let herself go" and "doesnt take care of herself well"

It is really frustrating for us women. Men can gain weight and they are "husky" or "broad".
When women gain weight they are just plain "fat" or "heavy".

Agreed.

 

[kenny]

Being a gay man I may have a somewhat different perspective on women and beauty since no woman is sexually attractive to me.
Sure, I find some more attractive, but I also appreciate the beauty of a sunset or landscape and I do not find that attractive in a sexual way.
Sexual attraction is quite a different, and powerful, thing.

Also everyone has their "types".
Nobody finds everyone equally attractive.
Inexplicably, some women like tall men, some like men with no chest hair, etc.
Inexplicably I happen to find larger, huskier and hairier men attractive - this is not the norm for the gay community which, overall, is probably more bigoted and even cruel about body size than even the caveman community of straight men.
Good luck socializing in most gay bars if you are a little to old or heavy.

Frankly, this subject is fascinating to me.
Our society tells us we are all equal, BUT what a person (or a society) finds attractive just does not obey the rules of equality.
I think they have even done test on babies which proves babies like attractive faces better than unattractive ones.

For people who embrace equality there is a frustrating mismatch between what should be vs. what is.

 

[TravelingGal]

Yeah, no brainer. Although if you're talking obese vs overweight, I think society can be equally cruel to both.

I consider all sizes attractive, but I think it comes down to proportion and symmetry. Kenny, that study you are talking about with babies I think showed babies are attracted to symmetical faces. When it comes to anyone who isn't model skinny, I think as long as there is some adherence to "normal" body proportion, i.e., bustline bigger than waistline, which is smaller than hipline, then the person can usually be considered attractive.

Unfortunately, our society isn't very forgiving of apple-body figures.

 

[kenny]

Yes IIRC that baby study WAS about facial symmetry.
Still, symmetry or BMI, it makes a point that reacting to appearance has a nature, not just nurture, component.

Let's not forget evolution.
We have evolved to "go for" qualities that result in sex ... which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...

The people with qualities that resulted in less sex didn't reproduce as much.

Crude, but true.

Even though I embrace it passionately, the politically correct idea of equality has not had zillions of years to sink into our DNA.
Appearance has.

Perhaps in a few zillion more years of evolution people will find every person on the planet equally attractive.

 

[Jennifer W]

Probably. Another question would be, do you care what people think about you based on how you look? Or what they think about your relative attractiveness to them? I mean people in general, not people you actually care about.

 

[Jennifer W]

Yes IIRC that baby study WAS about facial symmetry.
Still, symmetry or BMI, it makes a point that reacting to appearance has a nature, not just nurture, component.

Let's not forget evolution.
We have evolved to "go for" qualities that result in sex ... which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...which produces offspring that "go for" qualities that result in sex...

The people with qualities that resulted in less sex didn't reproduce as much.

Crude, but true.

Even though I embrace it passionately, the politically correct idea of equality has not had zillions of years to sink into our DNA.
Appearance has.

Perhaps in a few zillion more years of evolution people will find every person on the planet equally attractive.

I read somewhere that the genes resulting in red hair/ pale skin survived in evolutionary terms for no better reason than people wanted to have sex with people who look like that. There is no genetic advantage whatsoever to the phenotype. Actually, I heard it in one of the 4 hour genetics lab classes that I was forced to endure every second Friday afternoon as part of my psychology degree. It might have been a wind-up.

 

[kenny]

They say opposites attract.

Perhaps part of that is because you are less likely to be closely related.
As we know offspring of closely related people can have problems.

BTW, I thought skin pigment got more intense to protect those who lived closer to the equator (where the sun is stronger) from the harmful effects of the sun.

 

[Lady_Disdain]

Using genetics to explain beauty standards is an extremely slippery slope, in my opinion. There is a huge cultural component involved. Some cultures prefer tall, short, slim, muscular, long necked, wide eyed, obese (yes, as in very over weight), thin, big buttocks, small breasts, large breasts, long hair, no hair, etc. In fact, I remember a study that compared descriptions of attractive women in literature/story telling across cultures both cronologically and geographically. The only common element, if I am not mistaken, was a marked difference in waist to hip (even cultures that valued women with a lot of fat found a waist curve attractive).

A while ago, men of my father's generation were talking about what they found attractive in women when they were young. The short list made a lot of sense and was coherent with descriptions found in books and music of the period (late 60s and 70s, in South America):
- a "guitar" shaped body (wide hips, narrow waist)
- well defined buttocks
- a "meaty" woman that they could hold on to (aka, not very thin)
- a seductive walk

Note that breast size was not mentioned!

If you draw up a list for my generation, it would probably be something like:
- thin, well defined muscles
- large breasts
- large buttocks

And this is just 30 years difference!

 

[Jennifer W]

They say opposites attract.

Perhaps part of that is because you are less likely to be closely related.
As we know offspring of closely related people can have problems.

BTW, I thought skin pigment got more intense to protect those who lived closer to the equator (where the sun is stronger) from the harmful effects of the sun.

You've never been to Fife, have you? You'd be hard pushed to find someone who isn't related!

My skin doesn't have enough pigment to protect me from the sun in Scotland and I'm native. I think something went wrong somewhere...

Anyway, that wasn't really the OP's question, sorry!

Jen

 

[Beacon]

DNA and biology are a key factor. In women, a low waist hip ratio is indicative of better fertility and modern data has proven that this type of build results in improved overall health, with less cardiovascular events and less diabetes. So it is interesting that this also is generally mentioned as "attractive" across many generations.

 

[Jennifer W]

You mean like an hour glass figure? I have that, it's just a bigger hour glass at the moment.

One thing I think affects others' perception of how attractive we are (within reason) is how attractive we think we are ourselves. Me, I know I'm gorgeous (because I haven't put my contact lenses in before I looked in a mirror since around 1989) and a few poor fools have agreed with me over the years.

 

[Laila619]

Oh, absolutely. I'd say women are judged more harshly than men period, especially when it comes to looks.

Yep.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen some troll of a guy with a huge beer belly criticizing an attractive girl's looks or figure--a girl he'd be lucky to get. But no one bats an eye because women are judged much more harshly than men, and they are expected to look perfect.

 

[jewelerman]

i have to agree that its generational. my father was young in the 40s-50s and the hour glass figure and large breasted women were the center of attention(sophia loren,mariyn monroe, jane russel)and today those women probably would not be movie stars or sex symbols. look at movies made in the 1920s-40s and what the lead proformers look like.The Ideal for what is beautiful has changed alot over the years.

 

[Beacon]

Oh, absolutely. I'd say women are judged more harshly than men period, especially when it comes to looks.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen some troll of a guy with a huge beer belly criticizing an attractive girl's looks or figure--a girl he'd be lucky to get. But no one bats an eye because women are judged much more harshly than men, and they are expected to look perfect.

I must be the exception to this! Honestly, these beer belly men are terrible looking to me - frankly they look 8 months pregnant at all times. I really notice it and find it very disturbing.

 

[packrat]

Yes, I do think women are judged harsher. Including by other women. One of my coworkers had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago. She's down to a "normal" weight. It's done a lot for her health and that's fabulous. However, ALL I hear about is how thin she is, and do I want her to figure out my BMI for me, and on and on. (you know, if you lost some weight you'd have a perfect butt, the kind women all want..oh really, thanks for the info)

I think women are harder on other women than men are personally.

 

[princesss]

Yes, I do think women are judged harsher. Including by other women. One of my coworkers had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago. She's down to a "normal" weight. It's done a lot for her health and that's fabulous. However, ALL I hear about is how thin she is, and do I want her to figure out my BMI for me, and on and on. (you know, if you lost some weight you'd have a perfect butt, the kind women all want..oh really, thanks for the info)

I think women are harder on other women than men are personally.

Okay, I'm getting mad just reading that. Ugh. What is wrong with people?!?!?!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

I think women are absolutely judged more harshly than men based on their weight/how they look.

I agree with radiantquest in that when a man gains weight in marriage (or really whenever) then he must be taken care of since he's obviously getting enough to eat. But when a woman gains weight she's let herself go or stopped caring. I know I've gotten the side-eye from people that I haven't seen in a while because I've put on about 25lbs since I got married 5 years ago and my DH pretty much looks the same. Prior to having a baby I was always very thin and I fully admit to having body image issues now because I do not want to be a fat woman. I am expecting baby #2 so my weight/body image issues will have to be dealt with when the time is appropriate.

 

[Imdanny]

Being a gay man I may have a somewhat different perspective on women and beauty since no woman is sexually attractive to me.
Sure, I find some more attractive, but I also appreciate the beauty of a sunset or landscape and I do not find that attractive in a sexual way.
Sexual attraction is quite a different, and powerful, thing.

Also everyone has their "types".
Nobody finds everyone equally attractive.
Inexplicably, some women like tall men, some like men with no chest hair, etc.
Inexplicably I happen to find larger, huskier and hairier men attractive - this is not the norm for the gay community which, overall, is probably more bigoted and even cruel about body size than even the caveman community of straight men.
Good luck socializing in most gay bars if you are a little to old or heavy.

Frankly, this subject is fascinating to me.
Our society tells us we are all equal, BUT what a person (or a society) finds attractive just does not obey the rules of equality.
I think they have even done test on babies which proves babies like attractive faces better than unattractive ones.

For people who embrace equality there is a frustrating mismatch between what should be vs. what is.

Those who think it's so easy being a man because you never get judged on your appearance should try it. /s

 

[oddoneout]

I think women are primarily based on looks while men aren't.

 

[davi_el_mejor]

Yes. I think women are the harshest judges of themselves and of other women. A woman may look past the fact their man may have a little gut because they think that may give them a pass if they happen to put on a few pounds themselves. Women look past a lot of things in their mates because of "love."

In our animal brains a woman should appear smaller than a man. You can see that in nature all the time. But since we've outgrown our animal brains so to speak, we've thrown nature a curve ball. Since we've started having sex for recreation not procreation, we've told our animal brains that all shapes, sizes and other characteristics have merit in the physical beauty realm. There are some men who can be coined "ass men" or "boob men" or "chubby chasers" or "rice queens" (sorry I don't know the 'straight' term for guys who like Asian women) etc... There's a person out there that will love the way you look. Since the male brain is wired for visual stimulation vice physical stimulation a man will judge based solely on what they perceive first.

For procreation a woman should have enough body fat to support herself and a growing fetus, semi-wide hips/pelvis for easier delivery, then enough body fat left over to support herself and nursing. Breast size really has no part of procreation, as most breasts increase in size during pregnancy naturally. Butt size can be connected to hips/pelvis, but whether it's flat or a bubble really doesn't mean much in the survival of the pregnancy. So it's really all about proportions.

I don't really know where to go with this post now, so I'll end it with, yes it's harder to be a "big girl" then a "big guy."

 

[packrat]

Yes, I do think women are judged harsher. Including by other women. One of my coworkers had gastric bypass 2 1/2 years ago. She's down to a "normal" weight. It's done a lot for her health and that's fabulous. However, ALL I hear about is how thin she is, and do I want her to figure out my BMI for me, and on and on. (you know, if you lost some weight you'd have a perfect butt, the kind women all want..oh really, thanks for the info)

I think women are harder on other women than men are personally.

Okay, I'm getting mad just reading that. Ugh. What is wrong with people?!?!?!

I know it! If I was a snide person, I'd bring in pictures of me from before we got married and 40 pounds ago and say "Oh you mean a body like THIS?" But I'm NICE.

 

[LGK]

Oh hell yes. I'm currently around a size 16. I just had my husband spend the last night screaming in my face that I'm fat and unattractive, and that I clearly don't give a crap about how I look. Nevermind that I've been working out and eating right. The fact taht I haven't lost weight yet means "I don't give a shit". Ask me how awesome I think *that* is.

 

[HollyS]

Certainly, women are judged on their appearance. All aspects. Particularly weight.

Men are not usually as harshly judged - - by their peers, or the opposite sex, or potential employers.

It isn't fair, but it is definitely the norm.

 

[Jennifer W]

Oh hell yes. I'm currently around a size 16. I just had my husband spend the last night screaming in my face that I'm fat and unattractive, and that I clearly don't give a crap about how I look. Nevermind that I've been working out and eating right. The fact taht I haven't lost weight yet means "I don't give a shit". Ask me how awesome I think *that* is.

LGK, I am so, so horrified and sorry to hear this. It's wrong on so many levels and really shocking to read.

I hope you can find a way through this, whether you lose weight (or want to) or not.

Hugs.
Jen