Indulge me while I complain

[blackberry16]

I have been having a rough time at work over the last few months. When I got home from work yesterday I was in tears. I talked to DH for a minute but didn''t have time to get into it because he was leaving for work. I was asleep when he got home so there was no talking last night. It is 2:00 PM where I am and he still hasn''t gotten out of bed to check on me. I told him that I was going out to run errands and he didn''t want to come. I am frustrated that he doesn''t even seem to care about what is going on with me. It makes me feel really lonely.

 

[kenny]

Men like it when women tell them what they want.

Men hate it when women just expect them to read their minds.

Expectations always vary.
Communication is the answer.

 

[JulieN]

Tell him you want him to come so you can get a chance to talk.

 

[blackberry16]

We spend ever Saturday together since we don''t see each other during the week so we always go everywhere together. I told him yesterday that I needed to talk. I feel resentful that while he has been sleeping I have gone to the gym, cleaned the whole house, done 3 loads of laundry and had breakfast and lunch alone.

 

[Steel]

Do you want to talk about the work situation here? I'm sorry you are having trouble at the moment.

I know Kenny is right. I used to think DH didn't understand me, turns out he just wan't psychic. If I say in no uncertain terms that I want his attention or need him to do something he will happily oblige. But if I don't ask I don't get. And there needs to be a finite point, not we need to talk, say we need to talk tonight after dinner. Then remind him. The reminder can be crucial

.

I'm sure your work think will work itself out and your DH didn't mean to be unsupportive. Sit him down next chance he is free and talk it out.

BTW: I hope your pretty new bag is making you feel a bit better!

 

[luv2sparkle]

He probably is not trying to be hurtful or ignore you, he is just clueless. It''s genetic, he can''t help himself.

Just between you and me, I think being psychic is a trait men need to work on. I mean, I can look at my husband and see what is going on with him by the look on his face. After a while you
get to know someone that well. My boys could all do that until they were in a serious relationship and then somehow it turned off and they became clueless. I don''t get it.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 6/12/2010 4:57:50 PM
Author: blackberry16
We spend ever Saturday together since we don''t see each other during the week so we always go everywhere together. I told him yesterday that I needed to talk. I feel resentful that while he has been sleeping I have gone to the gym, cleaned the whole house, done 3 loads of laundry and had breakfast and lunch alone.

I just wouldn''t do all of that by myself, personally. I do think it''s a bummer that he hasn''t checked on you at all, but he can''t clean the house or do laundry while he''s sleeping, right? If you don''t want to do it all by yourself, don''t! Then you won''t be feeling resentful on top of being upset about work.

I hope work gets better for you soon!

 

[katamari]

Date: 6/13/2010 11:35:02 AM
Author: thing2of2

Date: 6/12/2010 4:57:50 PM

Author: blackberry16

We spend ever Saturday together since we don''t see each other during the week so we always go everywhere together. I told him yesterday that I needed to talk. I feel resentful that while he has been sleeping I have gone to the gym, cleaned the whole house, done 3 loads of laundry and had breakfast and lunch alone.

I just wouldn''t do all of that by myself, personally. I do think it''s a bummer that he hasn''t checked on you at all, but he can''t clean the house or do laundry while he''s sleeping, right? If you don''t want to do it all by yourself, don''t! Then you won''t be feeling resentful on top of being upset about work.


I hope work gets better for you soon!

Thing2 is a wise woman. Listen to this. You have every reason in the world to be mad as heck IF you tell your DH that you want to clean the house and run errands at a certain time, he agrees, and then sleeps through it. Think of it this way, if you woke him up to clean the house and do the laundry and he confronted you that you weren''t respecting his sleep and telling you he was resentful that you had time to do your errands while he was busy catching up on his sleep debt for whatever reason he has one, how would you respond? Would you think it is fair? Of course not.

 

[blackberry16]

Thank you for the wise words everyone. Last night we went out to dinner and talked everything out. He was very understanding and I feel much better.

 

[katamari]

Date: 6/13/2010 12:15:31 PM
Author: blackberry16
Thank you for the wise words everyone. Last night we went out to dinner and talked everything out. He was very understanding and I feel much better.

Awesome! So very glad to hear this!

 

[marcy]

I am so glad you were able to go out and talk. My husband reminds me all the time "I don''t do hints". If I want something or need to talk I have to tell him. We actually started making it a weekly habit of going to dinner on Thursday night. Not because I want to get out of the house, cooking or dishes but because we will set there and talk instead of watching TV.

 

[LGK]

Date: 6/13/2010 9:35:32 AM
Author: luv2sparkle
He probably is not trying to be hurtful or ignore you, he is just clueless. It''s genetic, he can''t help himself.

Just between you and me, I think being psychic is a trait men need to work on. I mean, I can look at my husband and see what is going on with him by the look on his face. After a while you
get to know someone that well. My boys could all do that until they were in a serious relationship and then somehow it turned off and they became clueless. I don''t get it.

Good deal you''re feeling better blackberry. I had a feeling your guy was just being clueless and not actually trying to be difficult.

Luv2sparkle, that is SO true! I can always tell when DH is upset or whatever he''s thinking, from the tiniest clues. The reverse is totally not true!