In recognition of all the motherless daughters today

[YadaYadaYada]

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge those of us who have lost our mothers, I know today can trigger so many emotions and memories. Please feel free to share a memory or story or picture, whatever you need to get out there.

Someone shared this with me this morning and I thought I would post it here:

 

[AGBF]

Thank you for posting this. I am sure it will be very meaningful to all the girls, young women, and mourning women of all ages who miss their late mothers.

I have no right to complain. I am 69 years old and lost my mother 12 years ago (in May 200 when she was 90. I dream about my mother all the time, and when I do she is always there doing the things she usually would do and being available with me to talk. I feel I carry her with me, as I do my father.

My heart goes out to the women who are still grieving every day.

 

[Slickk]

((Hugs)) to all of us who have lost our moms...
I love this saying...

 

[alittlelight]

These are lovely posts.

 

[Jambalaya]

This is so nice, thank you Yada.

My mom was diagnosed with an illness when I was in my early twenties and she became sick again in my mid thirties and died in my late thirties. She was by far my favorite relative - my only parent, really - and I was beyond devastated for almost three years. It's weird now, though, because although I still love her the same and she crosses my mind in some form almost every single day, I have moved on from the pain, and also even moved on from the stage of life where you have a mother. It seems like a long, long time ago that I had a mom, although it's actually well under ten years. It's as if having a mother wouldn't fit with who I am now. Perhaps that's because her death so shattered me and my life, and I had to put myself back together, and in doing so, I took a different shape.

I truly feel that I've moved on, but I'll never forget her.

ETA: I used to feel some bitterness toward people I know who had their mom for much longer than I had mine. I'm not sure you ever really grow up until you lose your mom. When I would hear them complaining about petty stuff, I found it hard to relate, because they still had that person who would champion them and think they were fantastic whatever they did, and it seemed like they had such comfort available to them, whereas I didn't. It was hard.

 

[lyra]

I lost my mom when I was 36, from her second bout of cancer. No matter what, my mom always supported me. I miss her so much. I do feel like the odd one out sometimes, but as I get older and older, I feel less lonely about it. I was going to expand on this here, but I started to tear up. I feel like a child again, and I'm 58.

 

[Queenie60]

Thank you for posting this. I am sure it will be very meaningful to all the girls, young women, and mourning women of all ages who miss their late mothers.

I have no right to complain. I am 69 years old and lost my mother 12 years ago (in May 200 when she was 90. I dream about my mother all the time, and when I do she is always there doing the things she usually would do and being available with me to talk. I feel I carry her with me, as I do my father.

My heart goes out to the women who are still grieving every day.

My heart goes out to you - Happy Mother's Day to a wonderful mother and daughter. Take care.

 

[Queenie60]

I lost my mom when I was 36, from her second bout of cancer. No matter what, my mom always supported me. I miss her so much. I do feel like the odd one out sometimes, but as I get older and older, I feel less lonely about it. I was going to expand on this here, but I started to tear up. I feel like a child again, and I'm 58.

And a Happy Mother's Day to you - take care.

 

[Queenie60]

This is so nice, thank you Yada.

My mom was diagnosed with an illness when I was in my early twenties and she became sick again in my mid thirties and died in my late thirties. She was by far my favorite relative - my only parent, really - and I was beyond devastated for almost three years. It's weird now, though, because although I still love her the same and she crosses my mind in some form almost every single day, I have moved on from the pain, and also even moved on from the stage of life where you have a mother. It seems like a long, long time ago that I had a mom, although it's actually well under ten years. It's as if having a mother wouldn't fit with who I am now. Perhaps that's because her death so shattered me and my life, and I had to put myself back together, and in doing so, I took a different shape.

I truly feel that I've moved on, but I'll never forget her.

ETA: I used to feel some bitterness toward people I know who had their mom for much longer than I had mine. I'm not sure you ever really grow up until you lose your mom. When I would hear them complaining about petty stuff, I found it hard to relate, because they still had that person who would champion them and think they were fantastic whatever they did, and it seemed like they had such comfort available to them, whereas I didn't. It was hard.

I'm sure she's in your heart on this day - Take care.

 

[Queenie60]

I just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge those of us who have lost our mothers, I know today can trigger so many emotions and memories. Please feel free to share a memory or story or picture, whatever you need to get out there.

Someone shared this with me this morning and I thought I would post it here:

Happy Mother's Day to you - a wonderful mother and daughter. Take Care

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@AGBF, it sounds like she had a good long life and how wonderful that you still
dream about her, I hope the dreams bring you some comfort. Sorry for your loss.

@Jambalaya, Yes to the bitterness of being without a mother and seeing others take theirs for granted, but they don't realize what it's like once they're gone, they can only see so far in front of them. So sorry for your loss.

@lyra, so sorry for your loss, I hate cancer and I rarely use that word but it takes so many good people away, it is so unfair.

 

[Begonia]

My grief for her started the day she was diagnosed and will end when I see her again.

I've read grief is all that love I have for her that has no place to go. So I channel it into my sons. It helps, sometimes.

 

[Slickk]

The greater the love, the deeper the grief.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

dementia took away my mother long before she died
i like to remenber her from when i was a little girl and we would go for walks and look over garden fences looking for fairiers under the flowers

for her funeral we had the florist add fairies and butterflies to her flowers

 

[Queenie60]

My grief for her started the day she was diagnosed and will end when I see her again.

I've read grief is all that love I have for her that has no place to go. So I channel it into my sons. It helps, sometimes.

And a Happy Mother's Day to you - A wonderful mother and daughter. Take care.

 

[Queenie60]

dementia took away my mother long before she died
i like to remenber her from when i was a little girl and we would go for walks and look over garden fences looking for fairiers under the flowers

for her funeral we had the florist add fairies and butterflies to her flowers

And a Happy Mother's day to you - a wonderful mother and daughter. Wishing you well.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

And a Happy Mother's day to you - a wonderful mother and daughter. Wishing you well.

thank you and same to you
my mum never wanted a fus - when her and her brother's had left home they forgot mother's day one year and grandma got really upset
my mum would just wamt brrakfast in bed and a white flower picked from thw garden - getting a bit hard that far south in May ...and for us kids not to fight
when i first went to work i had money !! so i started buying her small inexpensive presents
one year a new microwave safe dish

she said how much she really needed it because she had opened the cupboard a few days earlier and a whole bunch of mircowave dishes had come tumbling out and broke on the floor

opps

 

[1ofakind]

dementia took away my mother long before she died

This is such an accurate description of how we felt when my MIL died. It was such a long goodbye and the last year and a half we couldn’t even talk on the phone with her. By the time of her passing she had already been gone for such a long time. Of course we grieve but we had already been grieving for years and her passing was just one step more in that process.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day, with your mom or with fond memories.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

This is such an accurate description of how we felt when my MIL died. It was such a long goodbye and the last year and a half we couldn’t even talk on the phone with her. By the time of her passing she had already been gone for such a long time. Of course we grieve but we had already been grieving for years and her passing was just one step more in that process.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day, with your mom or with fond memories.

my dad died of cancer at 53 but he was still himself till the end
i would not wish demetia on anybody
im very sorry for your MIL

 

[1ofakind]

my dad died of cancer at 53 but he was still himself till the end
i would not wish demetia on anybody
im very sorry for your MIL

Thank you. It hasn’t been a year yet so it’s still quite emotional at times.
I’m sorry for your losses. 53 is so young. Our moms were 71 and 72 and we thought that seemed young too.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thank you. It hasn’t been a year yet so it’s still quite emotional at times.
I’m sorry for your losses. 53 is so young. Our moms were 71 and 72 and we thought that seemed young too.

my mum was 72 - same as both her brothers and younger than their parents
mum lived a long time without dad
the worst was when she couldn't remember him
like she could remenber going to the town hall dances as a teenager but couldn't remenber who she went with (Dad)
then she didn't know why the nurses would call her Mrs Willmott because she only remembered being a Graham and would talk about her brothers
even though im 5 years older than my sister i dropped off first ??
i remember going to visit her in the secure residential home the first time and getting upset and the nurse said its only going to get worse ... and it did

in comparison my Irish FIL lived a ripe old age but lost the plot after my MIL passed
all his brothers and sisters died of it but at a much latter age
and he still knew all of us in that he knew we all somehow belonged to him - even me who is a '2ns wifw'and his first great grandchild - last ones on usually first off didn't seem to apply
and he still remained a gentleman to the end where my poor mum got aggressive and asulted nurses - and her real self would have been absolutly horrified - as we were
oh and the lies
i know they are in their own little lives but she would say people (the staff) were hurting her, and they wernt - my sister was keeping a close eye
but how dreadful mum was in a world inside her head where people were hurting her
at the time it just made me angry because all i could think of is the hiddings we would have got for lying as kids

 

[YadaYadaYada]

@Begonia, I have never heard "grief is all the love that I have for her that has no place to go" that is so powerful and I'm sure that she misses you too, so sorry for your loss.

@Daisys and Diamonds, your mother sounds very sweet and practical and happy with the simple things, what a wonderful way to be. So sorry for your loss.

@1ofakind, so sorry to hear about the passing of your MIL, dementia is heartbreaking, DH's grandmother passed away just a few months ago and she had dementia although she didn't die from it burn the decline isn't the worst.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Happy Mother's Day @Queenie60!

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Just wanted to share a couple pictures of my mom, she passed away 33 years ago, I'm only 41 so it's been a lifetime without her.

Things I remember, she was very clean, loved to drink tea, big fan of The Rolling Stones, could bring plants that were dead back to life...you know mom's are super heroes like that.

The last Christmas I remember waking up (I slept on the sofa) and she was sitting upright in the chair a couple feet away asleep, the Christmas tree was on so there was this glow around her. It was very peaceful and even though I was only 7 years old, I watched her and told myself that I needed to remember this moment. I have not forgotten all these years later.

 

[Karl_K]

Can motherless sons weigh in.
I miss my mom everyday and mothers day is hard.
She went to the Lord in 98.

 

[Queenie60]

Can motherless sons weigh in.
I miss my mom everyday and mothers day is hard.
She went to the Lord in 98.

Yes, I am sure she's in your heart. Take care

 

[1ofakind]

@YadaYadaYada Your mom is beautiful.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Of course @Karl_K...I should have said "motherless children" so sorry for that oversight. I am so sorry for your loss, Mother's Day is so hard for those without a mother physically present but we can still celebrate these amazing women for who they were when they were here. Keeping the memories alive is a great way to honor them.

I haven't had a chance to check your other thread, I hope you are feeling a little better?

 

[Queenie60]

This is such an accurate description of how we felt when my MIL died. It was such a long goodbye and the last year and a half we couldn’t even talk on the phone with her. By the time of her passing she had already been gone for such a long time. Of course we grieve but we had already been grieving for years and her passing was just one step more in that process.

Wishing you all a Happy Mother’s Day, with your mom or with fond memories.

And a Happy Mother's Day to you too! I'm sure you have fond memories of your MIL. Take care.

 

[Slickk]

Reading these testaments to our beloved moms makes me quite melancholy. I am so sorry for everyone’s losses.

It really never gets easier and I read @YadaYadaYada OP quote often to get me through and to remind myself that it is ok to mourn.

Mom was my best friend. They lived a mile away and were so involved in our lives. I miss them everyday.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of mom’s passing which happened six weeks after dad. Both unexpected. He was a young, still working 75 and mom was 67. Changed my life forever.

My deepest sympathies to all of those who are feeling sad today...