I''m in China... now what? lol

[Cehrabehra]

... and boy it''s a change. I''ve gotten a few big pangs of okay this is fun but seriously I have to shop HERE for 2 years? I knew everything was going to change but now that it IS changing, that''s huge. oh my....

I know there are a couple others here in China - raise your hand!

 

[marcy]

My husband was in Hong Kong a bit recently. It said it was very different there. Good luck adapting.

 

[Kaleigh]

Are there groups you can join?? To make friends and adapt to the culture there?? I would think there would be. You just got there, so deep breaths, and hang in there. I hope you will find it to be a great experience, but am sure it''s a tad overwhelming as well. HUGS!!!!

 

[DiaDiva]

I know you''ve mentioned it before, but where in China are you living? Phoenix is living in Shanghai...

 

[AGBF]

Sara,

When you said you were going to China (in another thread), I thought it was going to be for a vacation. What are you there to do? Do you speak/read/write the language of the area where you are living?

PS-My first cousin's son is spending a year there, teaching English to seventh graders. He speaks Mandarin. He spent his Junior year in college in China. He gets homesick, though. We all spoke to him over the computer on Christmas Day.

AGBF

 

[MakingTheGrade]

Currently stuck in Beijing due to snow storm, missing my first day or rotations and orientation, trying really hard not to freak out. Hah.

If you''re in a big city, after awhile it won''t seem so different

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/3/2010 12:38:32 AM
Author:Cehrabehra
... and boy it''s a change. I''ve gotten a few big pangs of okay this is fun but seriously I have to shop HERE for 2 years? I knew everything was going to change but now that it IS changing, that''s huge. oh my....

I know there are a couple others here in China - raise your hand!

especially the toilets.

 

[Cehrabehra]

We''re in Dalian, Liaoning, China and will be fore 2-3 years and I''m nervous because I thought my grip of fear would happen after I''d been here for a while and I''m having a hard time right now. I finally broke down and bought some meat and veg today, all the stories had me scared - and cooking without all of my kitchen stuff, ugh - what a time consuming disaster that was! We''ve been to the store every day and I would walk through the veg and meat areas and just be like yeah... thank god for grilled cheese sandwiches! And I''m not normally a crust cutter but I have been. I''m trying not to be paranoid but it''s worse than I thought it would be. I don''t like the milk, everything tastes weird and I''m just having a transition issue and I''ve only been here since the 31st! There are many aspects I am enjoying and I think once we''re in our regular housing and get out shipment things will be better but that could take another 8 weeks.

The toilet situation out in public is rotten (but thanks to you I bought one of those pee-standing-up things! ha! it works great!!!). Today I had to go for my health check - they give you a little cup (and I mean little) of soft plastic with just a little tab to hold and it''s about the width of a dixie cup but half the depth and you are supposed to pee in that while squatting over a hole in the ground while wearing winter clothes and then there was no toilet paper. I had forgotten my pee-standing-up thing darnit. That would have been very useful today.

We are planning to get an Ayi and I''m seriously thinking I want a full time cook. I can eat the food but I have a very hard time shopping for and preparing it. ::sigh::

 

[DiaDiva]

Sara, the good thing about living in China is you can get an ayi and a cook! Forget about cooking and cleaning and just enjoy...

 

[setell]

Wowzers you’re really North! I would say it’ll take time to adjust but enjoy all the cheap stuff. I actually wish I work for a multinational so I can be a ex pat and live in China for a few years than hop back home to Canada. Life there is totally different than North America as the culture is so different. Heck there is a huge difference between the southerners and the northerners in China! As to shopping for food, you will learn that the Chinese way of shopping is actually quite fun. Everything in North America is commercialized so we’re used to not having to do a lot of the main things like killing your own chicken! Go travel, sight seeing at temples, parks, shopping, etc. Go sign up with a tour that is dirt cheap and travel Asia while you’re there! There is so much you can do if you just take a deep breath and relax. Main thing is to relax and be open to new stuff as life there is different. I mean if you think about it China has billions of people and most people seem fairly healthy so things can’t be that bad vs life in North America. Buying food locally would be fun! Just hire a maid if you don’t want to do household work (cook, clean, babysit etc.) as it’ll just be ~$150USD/mth (rough current going rate for Guangdong).

 

[neatfreak]

Sarah, when I moved to Italy (yes it seems more civilized than China but I promise you it is in the dark ages in many ways!) the first few weeks were really hard! The first week it was fun. Being in a new country, looking around, checking out the stores, etc.

THEN you get this feeling like "ok, I'm ready to go home now!" and you can't. THEN the panic starts to set in.

But you will acclimate and it will get better. Once your stuff arrives and you can make a home for your family things will be MUCH better. And you'll figure out the local foods and yes you might not have everything you had and liked at home but you'll get used to it in time.

And then when you come home you'll reminisce about foods you got in China that you can't get here!

Hang in there it'll get better.

 

[Brown.Eyed.Girl]

Cehra, all the expats I know tell me it goes in waves. Initially, you''re super excited to be in a new country, exploring new places, etc. You love that country because it''s so new and different. And after a few months, you really start missing home, and start hating that country for the very same reason you loved it initially. Then it gets better, you get resigned to it, and you like the country again. And so on. So don''t worry, it will get better, and yes, you will be homesick at times, but hopefully you''ll also realize later that there is a lot to appreciate in China and a lot to do. Good luck!

And I hate those squatting toilets. When I was in Japan, I always made a beeline for the one sit-down toilet in the bathroom.

 

[Rachel9]

Hi Cehrabehra, I'm sorry you having a bad transition.
I don't work abroad anymore but one thing you don't want is insolation. We always had a local living in for a few months to soak the culture, lenguage and get around. An ayi/cook sound like a good plan, they might guide you to find 'americanized' items/gatherings if that's what you're looking for. It used to take me about 3 weeks to settle but always tried my very best to learn about the place on call to make our lives easier. Best of Luck!

 

[princesss]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:19:55 PM
Author: Rachel9
Hi Cehrabehra, I''m sorry you having a bad transition.
I don''t work abroad anymore but one thing you don''t want is insolation. We always had a local living in for a few months to soak the culture, lenguage and get around. An ayi/cook sound like a good plan, they might guide you to find ''americanized'' items/gatherings if that''s what you''re looking for. It used to take me about 3 weeks to settle but always tried my very best to learn about the place on call to make our lives easier. Best of Luck!

Yup. I think that going out and braving the stores is the best way to get settled and feel comfortable. It''s really overwhelming when you go someplace where you can''t even read the signs, but if you go exploring you can find the things you need and build up a routine. Being isolated is the worst thing you can do to yourself at this point - it lets you stay scared and depressed and nervous. If you fake it til you make it, and put on a brave face and figure things out things start to look familiar more quickly, and it''s much less stressful.

Also, find message boards for expats in your area and see what places they suggest.

Is it your DH that''s working? If so, find out what the wives of the other expats in his office do. I know a lot of women have a regular lunch date or something, which would be a great way to get inside tips and get yourself out there. And if they don''t, try reaching out through your DH and having him arrange dinner with a colleague and their SO.

 

[setell]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:27:36 PM
Author: princesss
Yup. I think that going out and braving the stores is the best way to get settled and feel comfortable. It's really overwhelming when you go someplace where you can't even read the signs, but if you go exploring you can find the things you need and build up a routine.

It's worse when you're Chinese and don't read/write a lick of Chinese like me. People think you're a dummy if you don't read/write your mother language

I would still do it though as it'll be a fun experience! Go out there and do stuff!!

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:32:31 PM
Author: setell

Date: 1/4/2010 2:27:36 PM
Author: princesss
Yup. I think that going out and braving the stores is the best way to get settled and feel comfortable. It''s really overwhelming when you go someplace where you can''t even read the signs, but if you go exploring you can find the things you need and build up a routine.

It''s worse when you''re Chinese and don''t read/write a lick of Chinese like me. People think you''re a dummy if you don''t read/write your mother language

I would still do it though as it''ll be a fun experience! Go out there and do stuff!!

same here.

 

[choro72]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:09:20 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/4/2010 2:32:31 PM

Author: setell

Date: 1/4/2010 2:27:36 PM

Author: princesss

Yup. I think that going out and braving the stores is the best way to get settled and feel comfortable. It''s really overwhelming when you go someplace where you can''t even read the signs, but if you go exploring you can find the things you need and build up a routine.

It''s worse when you''re Chinese and don''t read/write a lick of Chinese like me. People think you''re a dummy if you don''t read/write your mother language

I would still do it though as it''ll be a fun experience! Go out there and do stuff!!

same here.

Me too

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/3/2010 10:03:28 AM
Author: AGBF


Sara,


When you said you were going to China (in another thread), I thought it was going to be for a vacation. What are you there to do? Do you speak/read/write the language of the area where you are living?


PS-My first cousin''s son is spending a year there, teaching English to seventh graders. He speaks Mandarin. He spent his Junior year in college in China. He gets homesick, though. We all spoke to him over the computer on Christmas Day.


AGBF

my husband''s company is doing a plant startup here and we volunteered for the job - we signed up for it and I''m glad to be here and I expected to hit a rough patch, I just thought I''d get at least a week before it would hit - maybe longer as I was so excited to come. I think going shopping with my husband and driver is part of the problem - both of them are rolling their eyes at me (the driver doesn''t but you can tell he thinks I''m making unwise expensive choices lol) and I think I just need to go alone and at my own pace and not feel hurried and take my time. That might help a little.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/3/2010 12:16:20 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
Currently stuck in Beijing due to snow storm, missing my first day or rotations and orientation, trying really hard not to freak out. Hah.


If you''re in a big city, after awhile it won''t seem so different

downtown dalian is a good hour away - kai fa qu is about 20 minutes and I haven''t explored the shopping here in GPB yet... we live in a resort area which is lovely but kinda remote from bustling city life.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/4/2010 8:10:06 AM
Author: DiaDiva
Sara, the good thing about living in China is you can get an ayi and a cook! Forget about cooking and cleaning and just enjoy...

ah, it would be nice - we can afford both but I don''t know that I want to, I would like to use the money either for travel or another ring - I''m having serious diamond withdrawl!!!!!! crazy to everyone but a ps''er haha We were going to have a live in ayi but now I''m not sure.

 

[princesss]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:52:10 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/3/2010 10:03:28 AM

Author: AGBF



Sara,



When you said you were going to China (in another thread), I thought it was going to be for a vacation. What are you there to do? Do you speak/read/write the language of the area where you are living?



PS-My first cousin''s son is spending a year there, teaching English to seventh graders. He speaks Mandarin. He spent his Junior year in college in China. He gets homesick, though. We all spoke to him over the computer on Christmas Day.



AGBF

my husband''s company is doing a plant startup here and we volunteered for the job - we signed up for it and I''m glad to be here and I expected to hit a rough patch, I just thought I''d get at least a week before it would hit - maybe longer as I was so excited to come. I think going shopping with my husband and driver is part of the problem - both of them are rolling their eyes at me (the driver doesn''t but you can tell he thinks I''m making unwise expensive choices lol) and I think I just need to go alone and at my own pace and not feel hurried and take my time. That might help a little.

The driver went in with you? Is that typical? When we were in Thailand the driver just stayed with the car.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/4/2010 11:50:44 AM
Author: neatfreak
Sarah, when I moved to Italy (yes it seems more civilized than China but I promise you it is in the dark ages in many ways!) the first few weeks were really hard! The first week it was fun. Being in a new country, looking around, checking out the stores, etc.


THEN you get this feeling like ''ok, I''m ready to go home now!'' and you can''t. THEN the panic starts to set in.


But you will acclimate and it will get better. Once your stuff arrives and you can make a home for your family things will be MUCH better. And you''ll figure out the local foods and yes you might not have everything you had and liked at home but you''ll get used to it in time.


And then when you come home you''ll reminisce about foods you got in China that you can''t get here!


Hang in there it''ll get better.

we were in italy in june and I do know what you mean - ireland was similar... so modern and yet so ancient (and backwards) about some things. I do reminisce about a few irish foods... not a lot but a few lol I think when we get our stuff it will be easier, yes. I''m still having jetlag - by 8pm I''m dog tired and springing awake at 4am haha

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/4/2010 12:32:09 PM
Author: Brown.Eyed.Girl
Cehra, all the expats I know tell me it goes in waves. Initially, you''re super excited to be in a new country, exploring new places, etc. You love that country because it''s so new and different. And after a few months, you really start missing home, and start hating that country for the very same reason you loved it initially. Then it gets better, you get resigned to it, and you like the country again. And so on. So don''t worry, it will get better, and yes, you will be homesick at times, but hopefully you''ll also realize later that there is a lot to appreciate in China and a lot to do. Good luck!

And I hate those squatting toilets. When I was in Japan, I always made a beeline for the one sit-down toilet in the bathroom.

I really did buy some (six total for me and daughter lol) of those stand up to pee things and they really work. my first reaction to them was the same as everyone else but boy is it the better alternative to the hole squat for me!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:19:55 PM
Author: Rachel9
Hi Cehrabehra, I''m sorry you having a bad transition.

I don''t work abroad anymore but one thing you don''t want is insolation. We always had a local living in for a few months to soak the culture, lenguage and get around. An ayi/cook sound like a good plan, they might guide you to find ''americanized'' items/gatherings if that''s what you''re looking for. It used to take me about 3 weeks to settle but always tried my very best to learn about the place on call to make our lives easier. Best of Luck!

it snowed a lot so yesterday was really bad and like I said it''s at least 20 min to the town and 60 to the city WITHOUT snow... and with the winter break most of the expats are in the states so it''s a bit lonely here right now... I haven''t met anyone except our driver.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/4/2010 2:27:36 PM
Author: princesss

Date: 1/4/2010 2:19:55 PM

Author: Rachel9

Hi Cehrabehra, I''m sorry you having a bad transition.

I don''t work abroad anymore but one thing you don''t want is insolation. We always had a local living in for a few months to soak the culture, lenguage and get around. An ayi/cook sound like a good plan, they might guide you to find ''americanized'' items/gatherings if that''s what you''re looking for. It used to take me about 3 weeks to settle but always tried my very best to learn about the place on call to make our lives easier. Best of Luck!

Yup. I think that going out and braving the stores is the best way to get settled and feel comfortable. It''s really overwhelming when you go someplace where you can''t even read the signs, but if you go exploring you can find the things you need and build up a routine. Being isolated is the worst thing you can do to yourself at this point - it lets you stay scared and depressed and nervous. If you fake it til you make it, and put on a brave face and figure things out things start to look familiar more quickly, and it''s much less stressful.


Also, find message boards for expats in your area and see what places they suggest.


Is it your DH that''s working? If so, find out what the wives of the other expats in his office do. I know a lot of women have a regular lunch date or something, which would be a great way to get inside tips and get yourself out there. And if they don''t, try reaching out through your DH and having him arrange dinner with a colleague and their SO.

funny, I met a woman on a message board a few months ago and she''s living (permanently) here where I am in temp housing but she''s on vacay in the states until thursday... we hooked up on facebook and she''s been nice and helpful, looking forward to meeting here. I think she will be a window into the community here. A lot of the wives coming on this assignement have been living in arizona together for the past year where we went to ireland and then back to oregon. They''ve already formed all of these social groups (do I sound like a wet rag? haha - I don''t mean to, just giving background) and most of them aren''t coming out here for another month or two. I met a woman yesterday at the health check and we got on okay but when she said they were living downtown (they speak chinese so elected to live in the main city with their kids in another school and he commutes 1 hour each way) we both kind of went ''oh'' because a daily friendship/support system can''t really be had by such a distance and now I''m sitting here thinking, we could have at least exchanged email or phone numbers and I didn''t even get her name! ugh!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

I don''t think it''s typical but he''s been trying to be helpful with translating and such and we''ve welcomed it. He''s very friendly and eager and helpful. Compared to stories we''ve heard I think we lucked out. He pushes the cart and carries the bulk of the groceries as well. Very polite.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 1/4/2010 7:52:10 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/3/2010 10:03:28 AM
Author: AGBF


When you said you were going to China (in another thread), I thought it was going to be for a vacation. What are you there to do? Do you speak/read/write the language of the area where you are living?


PS-My first cousin''s son is spending a year there, teaching English to seventh graders. He speaks Mandarin. He spent his Junior year in college in China. He gets homesick, though. We all spoke to him over the computer on Christmas Day.

my husband''s company is doing a plant startup here and we volunteered for the job - we signed up for it and I''m glad to be here and I expected to hit a rough patch, I just thought I''d get at least a week before it would hit - maybe longer as I was so excited to come. I think going shopping with my husband and driver is part of the problem - both of them are rolling their eyes at me (the driver doesn''t but you can tell he thinks I''m making unwise expensive choices lol) and I think I just need to go alone and at my own pace and not feel hurried and take my time. That might help a little.

Sara,

You didn''t mention whether you and/or your husband spoke the local language. (Is it Mandarin?) It sounds from the description of how things went that your husband (and driver) felt more comfortable than you did. Is it because your husband knows the language? Did you have time for at least some quick language courses if you never studied Chinese?

I think you are very brave to have volunteered to go to China! I have never even travelled to Africa or Asia, just to Europe and South America. I was once willing to relocate to Italy when Citibank wanted to send my husband there because they were acquiring an Italian bank, but Italy is not China!!! (BTW, we never relocated to Italy after all.)

AGBF

 

[clammer]

I live a few hours from you by boat. I''m right across the bay in Yantai (Shandong Province). It''s late so I''ll write more tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know that it will get easier. I order quite a bit of our meat from Australia since I can get grass-fed organic. Also, I have a few suppliers for trustworthy fish. Most will ship or I pick it up when I''m going through Beijing or Shanghai. As far as milk, there is an organic company that will ship from Beijing (Green Yard). Although, I bet that you can find it there.(Dalian is considered quite the big city compared to Yantai.) However, it is expensive. If you don''t care about organic, Asahi milk is the closet to what we are use to (it doesn''t have that weird sweet taste)

 

[Cehrabehra]

AGBF - I think my husband is doing okay because a) he''s a guy and social stuff is lost on him and b) he is overcompensating for me to make it look like easy peasy.

Neither of us speak the language (yes - mandarin), however I can say the numbers 1-9 now haha He needs to learn it even more than I because he needs it for work.

We are VERY lucky with our driver. Very lucky. He is quite helpful. His english isn''t great but he gets by and we don''t have much trouble. We are so lucky! We will be getting some language courses soon. We have a choice between 1:1, 1:5, and 1:20 (something like that) and the bigger the class the more we can fit into our learning budget. I''m leaning toward a lot of full classes so I have people to practice with.

Yesterday I went shopping alone and spent hours and hours just looking at everything. Got about $50usd worth of stuff and even figured out what the baking soda was using my translation on my iphone! People kept looking at me funny. Not only am I white but I am VERY blonde (light blonde) and light blue eyes and very white skin and I just stand out big time. Every person I passed looked in my cart to see what I was getting haha - funny! Spent 10 minutes trying to get a quote for a manicure and got no where and ended up with 5 very confused looking Chinese and no manicure lol

There is a social buffet thing tonight at the center so maybe I''ll meet a few people there. It''s just going to take some time - I''m not really the kind of person that people like instantly, I tend to have GOOD friends over a lot of acquaintances and that takes time - not a first impression sort of thing. I guess I''m nervous about that too.

Is it brave? Sometimes I feel foolish for doing this. Maybe greedy or something - I don''t feel unwelcome but I don''t feel like I belong either. The people are nice though and that''s great

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/5/2010 11:39:43 AM
Author: Rebot
I live a few hours from you by boat. I''m right across the bay in Yantai (Shandong Province). It''s late so I''ll write more tomorrow, but I wanted to let you know that it will get easier. I order quite a bit of our meat from Australia since I can get grass-fed organic. Also, I have a few suppliers for trustworthy fish. Most will ship or I pick it up when I''m going through Beijing or Shanghai. As far as milk, there is an organic company that will ship from Beijing (Green Yard). Although, I bet that you can find it there.(Dalian is considered quite the big city compared to Yantai.) However, it is expensive. If you don''t care about organic, Asahi milk is the closet to what we are use to (it doesn''t have that weird sweet taste)

Rebot! It''s so good to see you! I had looked for you months ago and you hadn''t posted in a long time and I thought you were gone! I know we discussed this like 18 mos ago when it was still a dream or an idea, and now its here! I can''t believe we did it!! You promise it gets easier? I know it should, but right now it seems like it''s only going to get harder!

How do you purchase meat from Australia? I could be interested in that! It is very hard to find fresh milk here (not the irradiated stuff that sits warm on shelves) maybe because I don''t think there is much farmland near here? Lots of fish here though. Milk is one of the things I am most picky about. If it''s good (irish milk was so gooood) I LOVE it - but if it''s at all musky or grassy tasting or even the slightest tinge of sour or even just a little weird and I HATE it. Can''t stand the smell or taste - nasty nasty nasty stuff lol I am SUPER picky. But the stuff we get here? Even my non-picky milk loving son doesn''t like it - and that says something. He''ll drink milk no one else will lol

You are pretty close as the bird flies - do you get snow there? It''s bitter cold here but nicer today and yesterday (at least sunny).