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I'm going to put all my bad news into one post

LGK

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
2,975
I would like a refund on 2011, it's sucked pretty dang hard so far. I have not wanted to post this but I feel like I need to. I lost my very loved orange boy cat, O.P., a few weeks ago. We had lost our other boy kitty Rat a few weeks before that; O.P. loved Rat with all his huge heart and I am pretty sure he simply didn't want to live without him.

O.P. stands for Orange Problem. O.P. showed up at my work one day, bedraggled and matted and with only one good eye. He was hanging out by the smoking bench out back begging for pets from anyone and everyone. And every time the door opened he tried his damndest to get inside. Finally, after all day of calling shelters trying to find one that would maybe take a cat with a bad eye (no such luck) I let him in. He cruised around the antique mall for a few hours until I boxed him up and took him to the vet, where he got a clean bill of health. When I took him home (I'd been intending to try to rehome him) he and Rat fell in love at first sight. So, you guessed it, he was quickly a permanent fixture.

Pretty much anyone would say a cat is the most solipsistic critter there is. Not O.P. He was the most generous, sweet soul there ever was. He worried about everyone and tried to care for us all. He was about twice Rat's size, and had obviously been stray for a long, long time- and Rat didn't have front claws- but since Rat wanted to be head kitty, O.P. let him with no fuss. He always gave Rat the best food, let Rat eat first, and would fake losing their wrestling matches just to make Rat feel good. (It was adorable watching tiny Rat think he'd "won" over this huge cat twice his size- he'd get all puffed up and swagger around.) O.P. always groomed Rat's ears, slept with him in a heap and they were pretty much inseparable. If I was upset, crying, O.P. would come over and look so worried, and sit on me until I felt better.

DH always I think felt like he shouldn't admit to snuggling the cats quite as much as he liked to, but I can't tell you the number of mornings I woke up, spooned up against DH, only to find DH had smuggled O.P. into the bedroom in the night and snuck him under the covers and was spooning the enormous orange cat. O.P. loved spooning, he would stretch out and tuck himself into you from neck to knees and rumble like a little jet engine.

O.P.'s amazingly sweet nature was all the more remarkable because he had obviously been abused. He had a .22 bullet under the skin of his neck (which I eventually had removed and still have somewhere), and he was terrified of black boots his whole life. It took him two years to stop flinching if you reached down and touched him unexpectedly with no warning. He never hissed or growled once the entire time I had him, he never scratched in anger ever. When I had to pill him twice a day or take him to the vet, all he'd do was twist miserably to get away, never once would he scratch no matter how provoked.

The odd thing is that although he is gone, I still feel like he's here, somewhere, still worrying about us and trying to take care of everyone. All of us- me, DH, and new kitty Dex all have seen something orange moving around the house at various times. All of us saw something orange and cat-sized run behind the cupboards (one of O.P.'s favorite hang outs) a few days ago and Dex shot over there to investigate. And several times I would've sworn I half woke up to feel O.P. playing with my hair in bed like he used to- he would Ninja Cat his way up to the top of the bed if you let him, and wrap himself around your head and start sifting through my hair. The weirdest though, was two nights ago when I was reading in bed wide awake. I had just gotten up to use the bathroom and had settled back down when I felt the bed dip like Dex had snuck in and jumped on it. I felt the blankets shift, and then, very distinctly, kneading paws on my hip. I turned on the light looking for Dex, wondering how he'd slipped in. Guess what? No Dex, he was yowling out in the living room. No kitties in the bedroom. I would swear it was O.P.

We had about 8 years with O.P. and it wasn't nearly enough- I so wish I'd been able to get him as a kitten and that he'd never been mistreated. And I really hope that somewhere, Rat and O.P. are together again.

Also last week I found out my father died. I haven't seen him since I was 16, and frankly I don't have good memories of him. My mom, however, saw fit to tell me whilst bouncing with *glee*, which seemed... disturbing, but whatever. I'm not freaking happy he died, but I'm way more upset about losing my cats, which may make me a lousy person but it's the truth. I really am kind of lost on how to react to be honest- I always hoped he'd found some peace in his life but I kind of doubt it. He was a very damaged person, and I hope that he's happier now if there is anything after this life.
 

somethingshiny

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 22, 2007
Messages
6,746
I'm sorry for the loss of your kitties. And, I'm sorry that you're feeling badly about not feeling badly about your father. It's a shame that he couldn't pull it together long enough to get to know his amazing daughter. Your mom sounds a bit nuts, but I think it's probably a relief that's finally washing over her.

{{{hugs}}}
 

kelpie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2008
Messages
2,362
I'm so sorry for your losses. I have hugs for you. You gave those kitties wonderful lives.
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jan 11, 2006
Messages
56,120
I can relate to the kitties because we have had some very special strays, too. I can imagine how much you miss them, and especially OP. I am sad for you that you didn't have a Dad to love. :(( I am so sorry for all the heartache and hope that the coming year is much happier. {{{hugs}}}
 

jewelerman

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Sep 30, 2007
Messages
3,101
im also sorry about your losses!hope things get better soon.AND about the 2011 refund policy...where do i get mine... cause i agree that this year has got to get better!
 

Pandora II

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 3, 2006
Messages
9,613
Oh gosh, I am so very sorry about your cats - I'm terrible every time one of ours dies. They are such big personalities and your two sound very special. How wonderful for OP to end up with the happy life he obviously had with you.

2011 has been a pretty sucky year so far I will agree - I hope things get better for everyone!
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,483
LGK - I have nothing but hugs for you. Pets can be such big parts of our lives and losing them sort of turns your world upside
down for a while until you figure out how to cope. Give yourself lots of time to mourn. Time and lots of tears seems to be the
only thing that ever works for me. I hope you find comfort in knowing that you probably gave him the life that he longed for.
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
22,483
With respect to your Father, I'm also sorry for that loss. I'm really sorry all this has happened at the same time.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,269
LGK, I am so sorry about your losses. Rat and OP were very lucky to have you and your dh and even though OP had been abused before he found you he had a great life because of you. He knew he was very loved and cherished as did Rat. I know how hard it is to lose a beloved family member and to lose 2 within a few weeks of each other is terrible. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you gave them a great and loving home and I know they loved and cherished you as much as you did them.

I am also sorry for the loss of your father. I am sorry you feel guilty for not feeling worse about it but you shouldn't feel bad. Your dad was a stranger to you and the sad fact is he wasn't a part of your life. That is the loss but he was a dad in genetics only and what is sad is he wasn't a real dad to you. I am sorry. Please don't feel guilty.
 

maplefemme

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 12, 2011
Messages
874
I'm really sorry to hear you lost both of your kitties, they were surely in your life for a reason and vice versa.
With your Dad, LGK, that is so tough and I can only imagine how difficult it must be, many new and old emotions to sort through.
I read an interesting book when my Mother died suddenly, called We Don't Die. It might resonate with you I think, when I read your experiences and thoughts, maybe if you wish to read it one day down the road.
Big hug to you...
 

iheartscience

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
12,111
LGK, I am so, so sorry for your loss of your precious kitty O.P. He sounds like an amazing guy with a huge personality. I know the feeling of finding a cat when they're older and desperately wishing you had them all their lives so you could have more time with them and keep them from being hurt, abandoned or abused.

I'm also sorry about the loss of your father and the way your mother told you. That has to be unsettling and upsetting regardless of the type of relationship (or lack thereof) you had with your father.

Hugs to you, your husband and Dex the new kitten. I hope O.P. keeps visiting you all and keeping an eye on you to make sure you're okay.
 

lyra

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 13, 2007
Messages
5,202
I'm so sorry for your losses. I loved reading the story of O.P. and Rat, they had such a great bond. It's great that you got to experience all that love for as long as you did. I wish it had been longer, but it sounds like O.P. was really everyone's guardian angel cat, and he's still looking out for you. ;))
 

rubyprincess

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Apr 11, 2010
Messages
174
The love you and your DH have shared with those cats is beautiful. I am an absolute cat lover as well and I agree the presence watching over you is OP. What an amazing, special boy he seems to have been. My eyes are filled with tears and all I can think is I wish there were more people out there like you.

Sorry about the loss of your father. No matter the relationship losing a parent is a hard thing.
 

LGK

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
2,975
Thanks to each and every one of you. I love that PS has so many pet lovers that understand that it's not "just a cat", they're family to some of us. Dex, even though he didn't get a lot of time with O.P.- about three weeks- still misses him. We'll probably get a kitten for him to play with soon.

My mom did actually apologize for the unsettling glee later at least :rolleyes: Bless her heart, she is an oddball sometimes and I can't predict exactly *how* she's going to react sometimes to things.

And, I'm also quite lucky in that my FIL has been a great father to me since I was 19; I call him Dad whereas my birth father is referred to as his first name.
 

Supers

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Jun 12, 2010
Messages
302
I'm so sorry about your losses.
I lost one of my girl cats earlier this year - she had bone cancer. I just think that she had 11 good years with me where she was a much loved cat - much like your OP and Rat....
 

yennyfire

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Jun 6, 2010
Messages
6,567
Aww LGK, I'm so sorry to hear about O.P. and Rat. Pets are definitely family members and losing them is the same as losing a human family member (to me). I do believe that O.P. is there watching over you.

I'm sorry about your Dad and sorry that your Mom's reaction wasn't what you expected. I hope that the end of 2011 is better for you and that 2010 downright rocks!
 

susimoo

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 30, 2010
Messages
1,802
LGK,
I am very very sorry for your losses. I just wanted to say that even though we lose those that we love, they never really leave us. They will be forever in our hearts and mind.
I feel such sorrow for the the loss of your dad. Sorry that he didn't get to know the wonderful human being that is you. You will find your peace in your own way, somehow. We will be here if and when you need us.

I also want my refund. I lost my dear dad in March and I am crying as I write this post because I know how you must be feeling about your furbabies. Love doesn't have boundaries. When you love someone, be it human or animal, you just simply love them.
Just remember they loved you and love you still.

Hugs sweetie!! xxxx
 

slg47

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 4, 2010
Messages
9,667
LGK I am so sorry to hear about your losses. pets are really more than just pets...they are part of the family.

on the bright side, I think 2011 was a great year for you in bling! I am in love with your reset :)
 

junebug17

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
12,507
So very sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet cat LGK - he sounds like he was a very, very special kitty - how wonderful that he found such a warm, loving home and was able to live such a happy life with you and your Dh. You were all so lucky to have each other, I hope you find some comfort in your happy memories of him.

Very sorry about the loss of your father, too - even though you may not be grief-stricken, the loss of a parent is always sad on some level, so I offer you ((hugs)) in the coming days as you reflect on your feelings towards him and his death.

ETA: When my father was alive I felt anger and at times hatred towards him because of how his alcoholism negatively impacted our family for many years. But when he died, I came to realize that he was a very sick, troubled person who lived a very unhappy life himself, and I felt pity for him, and sadness over a wasted life. He had the potential to do, and be, so much more. Just wanted to share to let you know that I can understand that you may be feeling confused and conflicted over his loss, because I was too when my father died.
 

centralsquare

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Messages
2,201
So sorry to hear about all of the loss. All I can really say is that it just takes time. You were lucky to have those kitties in your life...not everyone has (or enjoys) such connections with animals.
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
I'm so sorry for your losses sweetheart. They were such dolls... I know how much you loved them, it comes through in all your posts but most especially here. (( HUGE HUGS)) and head bonks from the kitties.

I'm happy to send you Melin. He's a WP. White problem. :tongue:

I'm also very sorry about the loss of your father. Many prayers and good thoughts out going.
 

MissGotRocks

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 23, 2005
Messages
12,656
Oh, my heart just breaks for you and your losses. I know how special these pets can be and how they each take a piece of us with them when they go. Clearly you were all good for each other and that was a huge blessing. I'm sure Dex will soon be woven into every fiber of your life - a new pet never replaces the lost one but it does help heal a broken heart.

Feel what you feel about your Dad without guilt. You may very well find that you will have different feelings as time goes by. I truly believe that sometimes after some time has passed after a loss, we do begin to let go some of the angst and see situations with more clarity than we ever did. It's all a process and all a part of life.

Here's wishing you a good finish to 2011 - and good always triumphs bad!!
 

yssie

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
21,097
Oh LGK, I'm so, so sorry, losing OP so soon after losing Rat must be utterly heartbreaking :(sad

It sounds like he knew how loved he was. Thank you for sharing his story with us - anyone who has ever loved a pet knows the pain of losing him. Hopefully Dex won't be too lonely without his playmate.

Your father - I don't know what to say. I'm sorry you found out how you did - but don't feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Maybe, as MGR says, your feelings will change with time - maybe they won't, either way you're allowed to feel however you feel.

Big ::HUGS:: to you, your DH, and Dex.
 

pregcurious

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 18, 2009
Messages
6,724
I'm to hear about your cats and your Dad. Losing a parent is always significant.
 

VRBeauty

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Messages
10,293
Hugs, LGK. I'm so glad you had these wonderful kitties in your life, and that they had you and each other!
 

Trekkie

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2010
Messages
1,307
I'm so sorry to hear about your losses.

O. P. sounds like a wonderful kitty and I'm glad you were able to make his last years as amazing as you did.

I can relate to your feelings re your dad's passing. My mother died in April and even though we had a very strained (non)relationship it still affected me far more than I would ever have thought possible.

I hope 2011 improves for you and even if it doesn't, please know that you can come here to vent.
 

Brown.Eyed.Girl

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
6,893
Oh LGK, I'm so so sorry for your loss. Reading about O.P. and Rat brought tears to my eyes thinking about your loss. Big hugs.
 

Amys Bling

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 25, 2010
Messages
11,025
So sorry about your cats!! As an animal lover just hearing about someone lose a pet makes me tear up. I think OP is still there watching over your family -just like you took him in and watched over and loved him.


Sorry about your father-I'm sure you have many mixed emotions.
 
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