I''m frozen.

[House Cat]

I''m so afraid to make the wrong decision in regards to my vendors. Because of this, I''m not making any decisions at all. I''m completely frozen in my wedding planning process. I am at the point to where I really need to choose a DJ, Officiant, Photographer, Florist, and Printer and I can''t seem to decide on anyone. My fear is that I will choose the wrong vendor and that I won''t be happy with them after I make the deposit.

I really hate the fact that I have to make decisions about this wedding stuff so far in advance. It gives me too much time to ruminate on the decisions I''ve made and wonder if I made a mistake.

Help! How do I get out of this cycle?

 

[sunnyd]

Just do it.

Then don''t look back. You will drive yourself crazy otherwise. Just book the person you think will do a great job, then let it go and trust that they will come through. Sure, there are horror stories, but if you can''t find any for your vendor, chances are they won''t screw it up for you.

Otherwise you risk not being able to book the people you want because you''ve run out of time. That would be more stressful to me.

 

[jcarlylew]

house cat - i am with you 100%. i couldnt even decide on my dress, despite countless compliments (again, thank you everyone!) on my choice(s). I finally decided when the price came down and then it was "BAM!". Same for the Venue. we are pretty much set on one choice, without even looking at it.


but i am now at the same spot as you. I know i will be going a lot off of value (very budget minded) and if the spark happens with a certain vendor.

 

[Barcelona]

I just make decisions and stick with it (in regards to everything).

If you''re worried about a vendor, Google them, ask on local boards or even ask them for references. If you''re not confident, then move on to the next.

 

[Octavia]

I was like that...once I got the vendor, caterer, photographer, and dress I completely froze. It was like overload, and I just couldn''t get my act together to decide on anyone else. I really wish I''d sucked it up and just done it all a year ago...says the girl whose wedding is in one month and who still hasn''t settled on a cake or hairdresser...

 

[MonkeyPants]

House Cat, I think we''ve all had our frozen moments. There are just so many darn decisions to make! I think once you make that first decision, it''ll be a bit easier to make the others. I do agree that it is hard to part with your money before services are provided. Maybe take a look at florists'' past work and make the florist your first decision? It''s harder to choose something like your DJ or Officiant when you can''t see samples of their work

You can do it House Cat!

 

[elrohwen]

When I was feeling overwhelmed, I started basing a lot of my decisions on the customer service aspect of the vendor. I found a photographer with nice pictures, but not the best I'd ever seen. However, when I met him I realized he was the guy for us. Why? He returns emails and phone calls within minutes; he's so super friendly and nice; he promises to get the pictures to you as fast as possible (and I believe him); and he was willing to negotiate everything to get to a price we were comfortable with. I think the ease of working for him outweighs some brilliant photographer who isn't trustworthy or fast to respond.

I picked my venue based on something similar. True, I did love it when I first saw it, but I could've looked around more and possibly found a place with a slightly more perfect interior (my place is very nice, but the interior definitely isn't as unique as the exterior). Anyway, after meeting the owners and being told that every wish I had could come true (beer on tap, foods, etc) I had to go with them. Sure other locations were beautiful, but the people just weren't very willing to work with us and didn't seem to think our business was that important. My venue has been an absolute pleasure to work with and I'm so glad I went with them over the place with the gorgeous interior and the lackluster customer service.

That was a pretty long response, but at the end of the day, I chose vendors who I knew would make my life easier and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

 

[musey]

Take the plunge!

Worst case scenario? It''s different than if you''d gone with someone else... and you''ll never know the difference because you only have the one experience. It''s never going to be a MISTAKE if you like the vendor. There are just lots of good vendors out there, and the truth is that if you find one you think is great, it doesn''t matter if they''re MORE great than the next guy.

I was just like you with the venue and the photographer, and by the end I just picked someone who was convenient and looked good enough. I chose my florist and hair stylist because they were close-ish to the venue and I didn''t feel like shopping around. I just walked in, and since I didn''t get a bad feeling right away I went ahead and booked. And my hair and flowers were two of the things I was MOST happy with on our wedding day.


Relax - it''s just a party.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 9/14/2009 4:17:32 PM
Author: musey
Take the plunge!

Worst case scenario? It''s different than if you''d gone with someone else... and you''ll never know the difference because you only have the one experience. It''s never going to be a MISTAKE if you like the vendor. There are just lots of good vendors out there, and the truth is that if you find one you think is great, it doesn''t matter if they''re MORE great than the next guy.

I was just like you with the venue and the photographer, and by the end I just picked someone who was convenient and looked good enough. I chose my florist and hair stylist because they were close-ish to the venue and I didn''t feel like shopping around. I just walked in, and since I didn''t get a bad feeling right away I went ahead and booked. And my hair and flowers were two of the things I was MOST happy with on our wedding day.

Relax - it''s just a party.

Ditto, especially the last line!

 

[cindygenit]

Relax, and go with your instincts. Do one thing at a time, and make sure you''re completely happy with any decision you''re about to make. If you''re in doubt, then best to go with another option.

 

[House Cat]

Ack! Ok now that I've been reminded that I need a hair dresser and MUA!

j/k

Thank you everyone for the advice and perspective. It IS only a party. I guess what gets me is that I want things to be *perfect*. Elrohwen, I chose my venue based on your same values. The people running my venue are so accomodating and they have nothing but stellar reviews. I think I will use these criteria when choosing the rest of my vendors because an easy, lovely day is what I want. Although I really want beautiful photography, I really can't deal with an artiste who will be a burden on that day!

Budget is also a concern. I could easily blow our budget by getting too wrapped up in the perfect frame of mind. *It's just a party* is going to have to become my mantra. Musey, you helped me before with this kind of thinking when it came to my dress! You said, "it's just a dress." It's funny too, because I love your wedding, everything was perfect. Were you really that nonchalant?

I will take the plunge and call a few florists today. The flowers will actually be kind of a difficult spot for me because I'm a gardener, so I'm kind of picky.

Can I also say that blogs have ruined me? They have shown me the best of the best. I wonder if my standards are too high?

Thank you for the encouragement. I've been trying to write this post for a couple of weeks and now I see I should have done it sooner.

 

[princessplease]

Go with your gut. If a vendor gives you a bad vibe, then don''t book them. I contacted a photographer who wanted me to drive to a Starbucks an hour away to meet with them. They didn''t have a studio, and I just got a bad vibe from it for some reason, so I didn''t schedule a consult.

I did a lot of thorough research, spoke to brides who utilized that vendor, and went from there in my decision making.

Good luck!

 

[Amanda.Rx]

Do you have any friends that can suggest people they used? We booked a lot of our vendors via recommendations. That way, I knew they were good at least once!

 

[Nov2109]

I agree... go with your gut and recommendations from friends. it took me forever to start doing things....you''re not alone. I think everyone has there oh crap, i need to get moving moment. Once you get started...things just start flowing. Don''t be afriad to ask vendors if they have a preference with who they work with either...we found our bakery that way, and their cakes are to die for!

 

[musey]

Date: 9/15/2009 11:29:14 AM
Author: House Cat
*It's just a party* is going to have to become my mantra. Musey, you helped me before with this kind of thinking when it came to my dress! You said, 'it's just a dress.' It's funny too, because I love your wedding, everything was perfect. Were you really that nonchalant?

Thanks

And actually, yes. I had my moments just like everyone else - most of which were documented here, so if you were to look at my threads from my planning days you'd think I was a mess the whole time. I came here to vent and be a little insane so that I could maintain my calm in real life.

The truth is that most everyone freaks about something. For me, it was things like my in-laws insisting upon inviting old friends that neither of us had ever met, or my made-to-order dress not fitting correctly and my seamstress telling me nothing could be done. I saved the worry for stuff like that, because it's not worth expending energy worrying over things like "which one of these completely amazing DJs should I choose?"

Just keep thinking "it's just a party." It's a wonderful party, and an important one, but it's still just a party... and just a dress, just flowers, just invitations. It's easy to get carried away with wanting everything to be perfect, but that makes us forget how much fun it all can (and should) be.

There are degrees of perfection. Just like our hubbies and relationships are wonderful and fulfilling without maintaining absolute perfection (far from it!), so will our weddings be wonderful and fulfilling even with a few flower petals out of place.