I''m finally asking for some personal advice on PS!

[mrssalvo]

okay, well since the real truth is out and you being an introvert is the core issue than I will change my original answer to vote for the hotel room. I''m an extrovert and love conversation and never tire of it really, but my hubby is the introvert and is usually one to go off to bed hours b/f all us extraverts do during family gatherings. He also is usually up very early and goes on a walk or something alone b/c he needs his alone time and I respect that. my mom is an introvert too and she can tolerate people but does really need her introvert time.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 7/1/2009 5:45:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal
OK, I should fess up.

The nookie thing is not the biggest issue (it is one, but not the biggest). It''s nice, but as you say, we do get quality time, although we don''t get to vacation much without Amelia.

The biggest issue for me is being with someone all the time who is TALKING all the time. The same stories. I hear these stories all the time. Sometimes multiple times in a sitting. From the moment I am awake with them, I''m ''on.'' I can''t shut my brain off because TGuy and his father don''t participate so I''m constantly in conversation. After about 3 days, I''m at breaking point. TGuy and I laugh about this because he fully admits he and his dad zone her out...it''s what they''ve always done, so that isn''t going to change.

But I''m considering sucking it up because it''s not anyone else''s fault that I''m an introvert and can''t handle someone talking to me ALL DAY LONG. I''m just wondering how I am going to get peace and quiet on vacation if we''re in the same apartment. If they wanted to spend time with HIM, I''d be all for it, but all the conversation flows my way. As I mentioned before, I can''t even escape! When I visited them 2 Christmases ago, I used my pregnancy as an excuse to go into the room to lay down for 15 minutes at a time to relax my brain. Honestly, it hurt from all of that conversation.

I''m a wimp, I know. Truth is out!

Haha TGal... I had a feeling the MIL-who-never-shuts-up was the bigger issue.

And my answer remains the same: I highly recommend you enjoy your vacation and get separate accomodations. Don''t feel guilty about it.

 

[Linda W]

T-Gal,

After reading all of the posts and seeing that your MIL is a yakker, I have to vote for separate hotel rooms.

My aunt talks non-stop. After one day of being around my aunt, I am ready to pull my hair out. I am ashamed to admit, but one time I faked a migraine headache, just so I could stay in my bedroom for a few hours to get away from her.

I know you will do the right thing, you always do.

 

[Allison D.]

I don't typically reply to threads without reading beyond the opening post, Tgal, but I've been buried for 2 days in fiscal year end deadlines and I just now caught this thread. Please forgive not reading the whole thing now.

I'm on the vote of get your own hotel to crash. You're going to be in Oz for NINE days; there's plenty of time for his parents to see him without having to sacrifice *all* your personal time and some much needed couple-time with him, too. Please don't feel guilty; you shouldn't. If you were taking off for 8 of the 9 days to be alone, I'd say feel guilty then.

My hub and you are very similar; introverted and just get burnt out after too much 'socializing', even when it's enjoyed. He just 'hits the wall' where he needs to retreat and regroup with a bit of time alone. That, by itself, is reason enough to warrant separate quarters.

 

[Allison D.]

And, I should add......

Regardless of what you decide on accommodations, I think you should definitely plan on making a "T-Gal ONLY" day (or maybe even two) for yourself. Rent a car, go someplace to be with just yourself, and enjoy.

This is *your* vacation, too, and most know that being away on vacation is different from getting a few free hours here or there during the day-in, day-out routine of daily life. You''ve worked immensely hard at your job and at parenting, and you need some "YOU" time to recharge, too.

Everyone wins.....his parents get him to themselves for the day, and you get that much needed ''me-only'' time.

 

[vespergirl]

Tgal, I totally know where you''re coming from - take the separate hotel room & don''t feel guilty about it! You guys need that personal time together - it''s so hard to find time to reconnect without a little one around - since you are having a vacation together, this is the perfect time.

Plus, it sounds like Tguy is really looking forward to some alone time with you as well

so you''ve already won the battle since he was the one who spoke to his mother & told her you guys are getting a room.

You can still spend all day doing things with his parents, so all you''ll really be doing is saying goodnight to them & then sleeping in your own place instead of a room across the hall. Besides, I think that his parents were once young, harried parents themselves, so they should be able to put themselves in your shoes & see that you guys need some couple time.

Enjoy your trip!

 

[drk]

Yep, hotel rooms here too! Sounds like you and TGuy both want it for different reasons. Since he''s already set the boundaries, just go with the flow! No guilt, please. 9 days to visit is a long time. I would send him off for a day alone with them though, just to have some quiet time to shop and sleep and relax on my own.

I''d also go insane having to listen to someone talk incessantly, and am glad that there''s no one like that in my family. Well, maybe my one SIL, but she''s always so busy with her family (5 kids) when we go to visit, it''s not so bad. We also stay in an apartment in my FIL''s house, so we''re not in the same house as her. My family is much quieter. We tend to sit around on the computer or reading or watching TV when we visit my brother and his family (though sociablly in the same room). My mother sometimes gets irritated by that, since she''s the one who likes to have raging discussions about things, but we''ve managed to hold our own.

I hope you have an awesome trip though, and that you get to have one nice night away someplace more exotic with just DH!
Kate

 

[somethingshiny]

Now knowing the real issue, I change my answer. One of the ways I view my decisions in life is "will it make me a better wife/mother/friend?" If you are going to be so overwhelmed with MIL, DH is going to suffer, also if you can''t manage to relax, Amelia isn''t going to have the best mom when you first get back. You''ll need time to unwind at home which will end up taking you away from Amelia even longer.

So, I vote for 2 hotel rooms in the same hotel, and maybe on different floor---definitely not some adjoining rooms.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/2/2009 2:05:24 AM
Author: Allison D.
And, I should add......

Regardless of what you decide on accommodations, I think you should definitely plan on making a ''T-Gal ONLY'' day (or maybe even two) for yourself. Rent a car, go someplace to be with just yourself, and enjoy.

This is *your* vacation, too, and most know that being away on vacation is different from getting a few free hours here or there during the day-in, day-out routine of daily life. You''ve worked immensely hard at your job and at parenting, and you need some ''YOU'' time to recharge, too.

Everyone wins.....his parents get him to themselves for the day, and you get that much needed ''me-only'' time.

A TGal Day is a great idea. Possibly look into activities you want to do that your DH would not and plan out something to enrich your vacation experience.

 

[allycat0303]

Tgal,

So you love your MIL but you find her a little annoying with the constant story telling.

What does your husband want? I get he probably doesn''t want to share the apartment with them, because he''s a man and probably THRILLED at the prospect of being alone with his wife (to me...one track mind). Personally I would get my own hotel room, and spend 1 day with the in-laws, (full day.) Suck it up and be a tropper....Then one day for you alone (send your husband alone with them), and one day alone with just you and husband. Pick something you KNOW they don''t want to do. If your feeling particularly generous, have breakfast with them on day 3 before doing your own thing. That way, they''ve seen their son for 3 days, and you keep your sanity.

And seriously, I don''t see why you HAVE to talk. Or participate. You can just let her talk and not participate. Tune out. That''s what I do with my mother. Sometimes I don''t talk for the whole day (or listen) and then she actually stops.

 

[TravelingGal]

Hi ladies!

I thought this thread died before I went on vacation, so I am just now seeing the latest reply. Oops, and thanks for responding!

Ally, I can''t really tune her out. I guess I''m just too...polite? Plus she''s so nice, it wouldn''t be right to be rude.

An update: We did book our own hotel room. TGuy had so many points, it was insane not to! Our hotel stay for a week will be about 500 bucks, not bad at all. I did write his mom to tell her what we did and let her know if a good rate at the same hotel but said I would certainly understand if she booked at a different place. She did book at our hotel and then asked me if we wanted to go see Wicked (she could possibly get free tickets for us all) or if we wanted to take a trip to the Blue Mountains.

I said, Wicked would be fine. Blue Mountains, no, as we just want to stay in town and relax. I wonder how everyone is going to feel when I sneak away, get a car and hightail it into the Blue Mountains?

Kidding.

 

[Linda W]

Glad you are getting your own room T-Gal. You and hubby need your privacy.

Hey can my hubby and I go with you? We can share a room???

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/3/2009 11:06:08 PM
Author: Linda W
Glad you are getting your own room T-Gal. You and hubby need your privacy.

Hey can my hubby and I go with you? We can share a room???

Only if you promise not talk my ear off, or make any other noises.

 

[Linda W]

Date: 8/3/2009 11:12:11 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/3/2009 11:06:08 PM

Author: Linda W

Glad you are getting your own room T-Gal. You and hubby need your privacy.


Hey can my hubby and I go with you? We can share a room???

Only if you promise not talk my ear off, or make any other noises.

Well.... the only time I talk a lot, is if you give me one margarita. Can''t promise anything on the other noises.

 

[jewelerman]

Date: 6/30/2009 2:48:23 PM
Author: risingsun
Not a naysayer here!! It''s very important for you and your DH to get some couples time. It is not selfish to make arrangements to get your own hotel room. You are spending a huge amount of time with the in-laws, as it is. Do not feel guilty or I''ll have to get tough with you

Ditto!