Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

if your adult child borrowed money from you...

Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
Dancing Fire

Dancing Fire

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 3, 2004
Messages
33,852
would you expect him/her to pay you back?
 
Being an adult child who has ''borrowed'' money and not paid it back....no LOL.
My mother doesnt ''lend'' money anyway even if I ask to borrow it. She just gives it to me. Not like 10k or anything, but 100-500$ once a year at the most.

I would prolly do the same with my kids. With the same low amount of course inless its a dire emergency like loosing a house or car then I would help them out and still not expect it back. You are a parent forever, not just till the age of 18 IMO.
 
DF - haven't you posted this or something like this before?

Yes, my child would a) have to put up collateral before I opened my wallet and b) pay interest to me.

This would be assuming my child used a credit card I was paying off to buy a bunch of purses at the outlet mall. Hahahaha!!!
9.gif
If my children showed responsibility, yes, I would lend both of my kids money.
 
Like that is a question??? Of course I''d want to be paid back, and would work out a payment plan they would agree to before I would even put the ink on a check.

They have to be responsible to me, or to a bank. It''s called life.
2.gif
 
My parents wouldn''t expect me to pay them back if I borrowed money, they''re extremely generous. Still, I don''t think I''d ever borrow money from them... I''m a long time away from being a parent so I don''t know what I''d expect, hopefully I''ll have the means to be generous with my family!
 
When both DH and I were unemployed this summer (it was a very hard time and we drained our savings), my mom very generously bought me airline tickets so I could fly to a job interview. Now that I am in a position to pay her back, she wouldn''t let me.

We don''t lend or borrow money from family usually, whatever is given or received is considered a gift. If my siblings or my parents needed money, I''d give what I could no questions asked or repayment necessary! But they are all very responsible people, and I know they wouldn''t ask unless necessary, and I would never have a worry about the money going towards frivolous things!
 
I think the word borrow implies that the money will be repaid in a timely fashion. If the money is a gift then it is not expected to be repaid.
 
Sadly, I think I'll end up spoiling my (future) kids. My mother used to collect every 5c from me - not because she wanted to teach us responsibility (I've always been a saver, put myself through university) but because she's selfish. So........I think I'd probably over compensate and never expect/want to be repaid by my kids.
 
LOL I guess my family is just the odd one out here! To us, money is just paper and there will always be more money in the world.

I guess not! Just read Kama's post.
 
In a heart beat.your parents should be the first people you would want to pay back!How and when you pay your debts is a real sign of a persons character!To ignore paying back your family because thay are family shows a real lack of character!
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:42:39 PM
Author: RockHugger
LOL I guess my family is just the odd one out here! To us, money is just paper and there will always be more money in the world.

I guess not! Just read Kama''s post.
Click to expand...
My family is the same too!
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:38:31 PM
Author: jsm
If my siblings or my parents needed money, I'd give what I could no questions asked or repayment necessary! But they are all very responsible people, and I know they wouldn't ask unless necessary, and I would never have a worry about the money going towards frivolous things!
Click to expand...
Exactly this for me. If my father or brother borrowed money from us, I'd never expect - or in fact accept - money back. Unless ofcourse, it's of a sum >20-30K or money we desperately need.
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:40:21 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
I think the word borrow implies that the money will be repaid in a timely fashion. If the money is a gift then it is not expected to be repaid.
Click to expand...
We give our kids gifts of money, the most we can tax free.

But borrow?? That's a different senario...
2.gif
 
I don''t have kids but based on how I was raised, I wouldn''t except them to pay it back. Not that I borrow either. But knowing my parents if I needed to, there is no way in hell my dad would ever take the money back. My parents are immigramts from Russia and giving kids money is the culitural norm.
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:44:24 PM
Author: jewelerman
In a heart beat.your parents should be the first people you would want to pay back!How and when you pay your debts is a real sign of a persons character!To ignore paying back your family because thay are family shows a real lack of character!
Click to expand...
It's not that I wouldn't want to pay them back, I know for a fact they would not accept money if I tried to pay them back. It's just how my family is, my paternal grandfather helped my parents out a lot early on, my parents have done the same for me and my siblings, and I'll do the same in the future if I can. If I needed money my parents would give it to me in a heartbeat and then probably never mention it again. Money is such a weird thing with my family, it's NOT talked about... I think it makes my parents uncomfortable, I know it makes me uncomfortable!

ETA: Elle, my great-grandparents were Russian immigrants, that must be why my grandpa was always extremely generous (and my father now). It's funny, I was just at my grandfathers church, it's a beautiful old Russian Orthodox church with icons everywhere. There are huge icons painted in parts of the church in honor of my great-grandparents and grandparents contributions/donations, it must be a cultural thing for my parents.
 
I would hope to get it back at some point but I wouldn''t be annoyed if I didn''t. If I couldn''t spare it long term I wouldn''t give it.
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:40:21 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
I think the word borrow implies that the money will be repaid in a timely fashion. If the money is a gift then it is not expected to be repaid.
Click to expand...
Ditto!
 
Depends on how much. Plus I have daughters, and *you* know how it is with daughters....
12.gif
 
I have never borrowed money from my parents. They gave me an allowance while I was in college, and since I got a full time job after graduating, I became my own responsibility. To be honest, I have not experienced any life changes that would require me to go to my parents for money, but, I also can''t think of any where I would. It would definitely be a last resort option, and there is no doubt that it would be paid back immediately.

After my kids get thier first full time job, I don''t plan on giving money to my children unless it is in the form of a birthday, graduation, or christmas gift. They are more than welcome to live at home after college in order to save money, but in my family, you live under or below your means and you save for nicer things in life. I don''t agree with lending or borrowing money, and I hope that I can figure out a way to pass that onto my own children.

Just a different family and a bit from what I have gained from personal experiences growing up.
 
Yes! I have borrowed money from my mom in the past and have always paid her back.
 
I have always, ALWAYS paid my mom back. (I am 22) Maybe it''s because she borrowed a hefty sum from me and slowly but surely paid me back? I understand what people are saying about their parents just giving you money, or you just giving people money in a time of need, but some people (like me or my parents) do not have that luxury...
 
Adult?

Borrowed?

Yes.
 
I would expect to be paid back, and I would pay my parents back if I borrowed money from them. There''s a difference between gifts and borrowing.
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:40:21 PM
Author: DivaDiamond007
I think the word borrow implies that the money will be repaid in a timely fashion. If the money is a gift then it is not expected to be repaid.
Click to expand...

Exactly. If it is a loan *you* need to set boundaries and tell THEM when you are expecting repayment. If you feel like you are being taken advantage of you have no one to blame but yourself.
 
We loan money to our adult children all the time with the expectation they will pay it back. They are all young adults ranging in age from 20-27, but we believe they need to learn to live within their means, so require payment for all loans... As a side note, we do give them $ on occassion as well!
 
Tacori and Impatient- I really like that you all use the word Loan, instead of just borrowing. If you are an adult and it is not a gift, then that is how I think all money you are given should be seen. As a loan.
 
I think there''s a huge difference between an adult child borrowing money and a parent of an adult child voluntarily giving money to them to help them out. My parents occasionally give me money even though I tell them I don''t feel comfortable accepting it anymore. They won''t take no for an answer because they feel the money means a lot less to them than it does to me. I have tried refusing, but they stick it in my wallet or my pocket. If I ever tried paying them back they would laugh at me (and they have) and they would probably be a little insulted.

However, if I went to my parents and *asked* for a loan (for example, for a house or a big purchase like that) then of course I would pay them back! Borrowing money = intention of paying it back.
 
If DS borrows from me he pays me back by paying some of my bills
rather than giving me cash. It is infrequent and he does it ASAP.
 
I personally don''t believe in lending money that you expect back. If you can''t do without it, don''t lend it.
 
Date: 2/1/2010 8:44:24 PM
Author: jewelerman
In a heart beat.your parents should be the first people you would want to pay back!How and when you pay your debts is a real sign of a persons character!To ignore paying back your family because thay are family shows a real lack of character!
Click to expand...

I agree with this completely! My parents would likely refuse to let me pay them back, but I would insist on trying to return the money. (although as an adult I`ve never borrowed money and likely never will)
 
Status
Not open for further replies. Please create a new topic or request for this thread to be opened.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top