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If you could have a wedding planning do-over...

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
...would you do it?

Why/ why not?

What would you change?
 

jstarfireb

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2007
Messages
6,232
I would have stuck with my original wedding dress choice rather than caving into my mom's demand for me to change it. That's my only wedding-related regret.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
40,669
I loved every minute of my wedding and the planning before was very easy. Very little drama or stress except for the rehearsal dinner which we had at our home the evening before and even that was not too bad. So I wouldn't have changed anything but...I really wanted to be married on the beach with the waves crashing (except we got married in November and it was snowing the day before so that would have been difficult)) so I hope to do that when we decide to renew our vows. I just have to convince my dh but I have time. :cheeky:
 

vc10um

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 22, 2009
Messages
6,006
Nope. Wouldn't change a thing. Not even the cake fiasco, since that basically figured itself out and we have a fun story to tell now! I loved every minute of my wedding weekend, from the rehearsal luncheon all the way through to brunch the morning after with my family.

ETA: As far as the *planning* process goes, I think the only thing I would have changed is I would have kept some of the details under wraps from my mom and sister until a little later in the planning process. I already had venues in mind and such before my now-DH and I were engaged, and when my mother asked and I answered honestly about 2 months before our engagement, she was very judgemental and it hurt our relationship for awhile.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
I haven't even had my wedding yet, but I already know what I would change. We went through a travel agent for our cruise (that about half of the guests are joining us on) and I really, REALLY wish I would have handled the bookings myself. I thought it would be a big help having a local "expert" to deal with, but it's actually caused me more work and stress than had I jus done it myself. Live and learn!
 

kelpie

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2008
Messages
2,362
A do-over? No

But my husband and I both wish we had taken a time out to eat more of the food we paid so much for and spend more time with eachother.
 
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Messages
401
I wish I would have been more firm with my sister and best friend who are my 2 bridesmaids. Way too much drama between the both of them, and they kept putting me in the middle. I should've squashed all of it from the get go, as much as I could've anyway.

I also wish I wouldn't have depended on my parents for monetary help. They fell woefully short of the amounts they promised me, and I ended up having to take out a personal loan to cover some of the reception.
 

amc80

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
5,765
Future Mrs. Sterling|1316806962|3024089 said:
I also wish I wouldn't have depended on my parents for monetary help. They fell woefully short of the amounts they promised me, and I ended up having to take out a personal loan to cover some of the reception.
Ditto on this. My mom told me that she wanted to pay for the reception. To me, this means, band, flowers, food, cake, venue, etc. To her it meant food only.
 
Joined
Jan 29, 2010
Messages
401
amc80|1316816813|3024215 said:
Future Mrs. Sterling|1316806962|3024089 said:
I also wish I wouldn't have depended on my parents for monetary help. They fell woefully short of the amounts they promised me, and I ended up having to take out a personal loan to cover some of the reception.
Ditto on this. My mom told me that she wanted to pay for the reception. To me, this means, band, flowers, food, cake, venue, etc. To her it meant food only.
Oh good, so I am not the only one who was let down by their parents. My mom and dad are divorced and each had promised a specific dollar amount. Mom was $2k short and Dad about $1k. That means I had to come up with $3,000, and out of where? My bum-hole? Why don't people understand that we set a budget an plan a wedding based on it?

Anyway, I have to let it all go because I am getting married in 5 DAYS and just have to focus on having a good time. Whew!
 

diamondringlover

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 12, 2006
Messages
3,877
Yes I would have changed it...I had a triple wedding me and both my sisters got married and at the time it just seemed like a fun idea and it was a very fun wedding, best party I have ever been too lol, but...as I got older I realize that the day wasnt just about me and him, it was about all of us and for some reason I guess I regretted that..but it was still a heck of a party and as a FYI 2 of us are still married to the same guys, our 28th anniversary will be May 12, 2012 :appl:
 

4ever

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
2,260
If I started all over it would be ALOT different , and we're still a good 6 months out.

The things that diverted us from my ideal wedding:

1) FI's parents decided they would come to NZ for the wedding, after at least a year of saying if we got married in NZ they may not be able to come.
2) My parents insisted (forcefully) that they would pay for the wedding.

Otherwise, I would be all aboard for an awesome cocktail party and canapé wedding or a kick as brunch wedding or...something super fun!
But now I feel like, our wedding will be beautiful, and I'm sure super fun, but just so.......normal. Meh. *sigh*
 

Gypsy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Aug 8, 2005
Messages
40,198
I wouldn't be so cheap about the DJ and would definitely interview a few more. I would change my zipper to a metal one. And I would order 3x as much food for the cocktail hour and ignore my catering coordinator. OH... and I would definitely tell EVERYONE in my family that we are paying for the bar on consumption basis... NOT per head :nono: so they wouldn't drink wine by the bottle!

But hindsight is 20/20 and I wouldn't do it all over again even given the chance. A perfect event would have been lovely. But even slightly flawed... it was ours and we had a great time.

OH... okay there is ONE change I would make if given the chance. I wouldn't wear the horribly uncomfortable AND ugly flat heels I wore because I THOUGHT they would be comfortable. I would either buy Bloch flats or just go for cute and uncomfortable... at least they would have looked cute in the pics!
 

ame

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 7, 2004
Messages
10,763
4ever|1316674057|3022745 said:
...would you do it?

Why/ why not?

What would you change?
I'd have to get a stand-in groom for starters. DH wants no part of another wedding lol

Id get the dress I wanted that didn't exist yet when I got married, I'd have it on the beach in Hawaii...
 

StoopidMonkey

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 11, 2011
Messages
127
If I could do it all over again, I would have gone with a different bride. :twisted:

The next one looks to be much better, BTW.
 

Hospatogi

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 18, 2010
Messages
668
I havent gotten married yet but I really wish I had started saving up earlier!!! I had no idea how expensive weddings really are...
 

packrat

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
10,615
I would've had someone video tape it. Different photographer so maybe we'd have had "fun" pics instead of just standard fare. I would've had a different song play as I walked down and as we left..I'd never known anyone to use something other than the traditional Wedding March until I came here. I'd have had cool shoes, colored ones instead of white..another thing I'd not seen until I came here. All this cool stuff I missed out on gah!

He's already agreed to renew our vows so I can have a do over..got the dress and song all picked out and working on a new kick ass forever engagement ring so..yay!
 

FrekeChild

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 14, 2007
Messages
19,456
I loved everything...but I might go for a different dress. I loved my dress, but there was another one...would have been $3,500 instead of $450...or the Nina Ricci dress that I originally fell in love with. Having said that, I might have gone with TWO dresses. Because I really loved my dress too!
 

NakedFinger

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Jan 8, 2009
Messages
690
My wedding was amazing and wouldn't change anything about it expect the photographer. I planned everything in 5 months, so when the photographer I had always loved and want was booked the day of my wedding, but had her colleague available, I took it. I wish I would have just looked for a new one. Everyone else says my pictures are great....but being in the wedding industry makes you jaded. I KNOW what really good photography looks like, and I didnt feel overwhelmed with the pictures I got.

Having said that....I wish I got a videographer; even though I HATE videographers, at least I would have had video back up to my photos.
 

zoebartlett

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Dec 29, 2006
Messages
12,450
We would do a few things differently:

1. We would have spent more for a different DJ. We went with ours because he came highly recommended by my mom, who had been to another wedding he did (a family friend). He was cheap too. We should have spent more money and gotten someone who didn't screw up the father/daughter dance (he thought we were skipping it. Ummm, no, we weren't.). He also forgot to introduce our best man for his toast. His toast came toward the end of the reception. :(sad

2. We would have spent more and gone with a more high-end photographer with more experience doing weddings. She was very nice and she came highly recommended, but none of the people we know had used her for their wedding. They had used her for family portraits. I wish we had more detail shots, and I wish she had taken more photos of us at different areas of our gorgeous venue. Every single family picture we have is of us under the same damn tree. At the time, I didn't think about it, so I could be partly to blame for this, but it still bugs me. She also forgot to take a group photo of the table a family friend was sitting at. This friend has passed away, and it makes me sad that I don't have any pictures of her from my wedding.We have a shot of everyone in attendance except people who were sitting at that table.

3. We would have chosen a different honeymoon destination. We were originally going to go to Portugal but then we decided to save some money and go somewhere closer to home. We ended up choosing Quebec City, which we had been to before and loved. It's a great city (and the walled part of the city is gorgeous and very romantic), but not one I'd recommend for someone's honeymoon.

So the moral of my story is to spend a bit more and not be so penny-pinching if at all possible.
 
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