I'm not, but I asked my husband.
Do you ever feel like you witness white privilege? Yes, absolutely.
Do you benefit as well? Yes. He says that people let him "pass through" when he's with me, when others get stopped. I assumed this was an airport thing, but he said even in "fancy" restaurants/bars/clubs. He prefers to book things under my name (airbnb, flights) because he thinks its less likely to get flagged.
Do you feel like others judge you for having a colonized mind? Neither of us understood this one.
Do you ever self examine? Constantly.
To clarify what you didn’t understand. Does your own race judge you and infer that you married a shire person because you through a colonized point of view, you view the white person as the ideal person?
lol I thought POC stood for "piece of crap" and I was like
damn nala, suppose she's lost her mind!
& before anyone feeling righteous enough jumps up to say that me not recognizing that acronym is a "micro-aggression" just know I never hear that where I live so I didn't easily
recognize it, usually its said using the word "minority".
I live in a place where I'm the minority actually, which was an interesting way
to grow up.
Also this thread is thought provoking and I'm interested
in reading the responses.
Sun was going down. We parked at the grocery store. My (white, male) other half saw another vehicle's headlights on and started walking toward that car.
I waited for him to... Well, I wasn't sure what he was trying to do, grab the plate so the store could broadcast it?
The driver-side window's open.
He starts reaching inside.
I freaked. I start scream-whispering every instruction and obsenity I can think of trying to make him get the heck away from someone else's car without alerting the whole parking lot to what he's doing.
I remember that he paused in surprise, then glared at me, and proceeded to ignore me and actually stick his hand through the window.
At that point I ran to him and dragged him away.
I was beyond furious - and scared - what on earth did he think he was doing!? Anyone would have thought he was trying to steal that car!!!
His response was that he was going to get in and turn their lights off. Y'know, as one does. As people have been doing for others in their communities for decades. What was I making such a fuss over? Who would think anyone in our little town would be trying to steal a car?
I asked what he'd have done had the owners come out.
He said he'd have explained, and they'd obviously have been grateful.
I asked what he'd have done had the owners called the cops.
He said again that he'd have explained, and there wouldn't have been any problem.
I asked what he'd have done had the owners had a gun or two.
He told me I was being ridiculous and paranoid.
I don't know what sort of privilege that is, but whatever it is, I sure as heck don't have it. I know that had I seen a stranger get out of MY vehicle - I would NOT have been grateful that he'd turned my lights off for me. I'd have been completely unnerved.
The fact that my own partner couldn't understand why this would scare me - well, that scared me more, to be honest.
I'm getting angry now just thinking about that debacle.
This is the same man that doesn't understand why I don't like to stop at rest stops late at night to take a nap, and who thinks I'm overreacting when I worry about taking the metro/subway by myself at night. But he never encourages me to do those things - me being uncomfortable is enough reason not to, even if the "why" eludes him.
Sun was going down. We parked at the grocery store. My (white, male) other half saw another vehicle's headlights on and started walking toward that car.
I waited for him to... Well, I wasn't sure what he was trying to do, grab the plate so the store could broadcast it?
The driver-side window's open.
He starts reaching inside.
I freak. I start scream-whispering every instruction and obsenity I can think of trying to make him get the heck away from someone else's car without alerting the whole parking lot to what he's doing.
I remember that he paused in surprise, then glared at me, and proceeded to ignore me and actually stick his hand through the window.
At that point I ran to him and dragged him away.
I was beyond furious - what on earth did he think he was doing!? Anyone would have thought he was trying to steal that car!!!
His response was that he was going to get in and turn their lights off. Y'know, as one does. As people have been doing for others in their communities for decades. What was I making such a fuss over? Who would think anyone in our little town would be trying to steal a car?
I asked what he'd have done had the owners come out.
He said he'd have explained, and they'd obviously have been grateful.
I asked what he'd have done had the owners called the cops.
He said again that he'd have explained, and there wouldn't have been any problem.
I asked what he'd have done had the owners had a gun or two.
He told me I was being ridiculous and paranoid. No-one's going to shoot someone for turning their lights off.
I don't know what sort of privilege that is, but whatever it is, I sure as heck don't have it.
The fact that my own partner couldn't understand why his actions would unnerve and scare me - well, that scared me more, to be honest.
I'm getting angry now just thinking about it.
This is the same man that doesn't understand why I don't like to stop at rest stops late at night to take a nap, and who thinks I'm overreacting when I worry about taking the metro/subway by myself at night. But he never encourages me to do those things - me being uncomfortable is enough reason not to, even if the "why" eludes him.