If I could change my mind..., men out there listen...

[diagem]

I think it would be extremely interesting to see the flow of tastes "women (only)" have in regards to their ER or better yet their jewelery pieces as a whole.

Some get their jewelry as a gift and have to live with what they get...
Some get their jewelry as a gift but have the (lucky) option to chose or influence...
Some get their jewelry when very young (and as we all know..., tastes changes with the years..., and education.)

Some get their jewelry as an uneducated consumer.
Some get their jewelry as a educated consumer.
Some get their jewelry as an uneducated consumer which later discovers a site like PS that opens their eyes and broadens their knowledge...

Etc..., etc.... (there are tons of more examples.)

Now I imagine some of you will ask why women only???
I think this can become a great educating thread for men or better yet men who want to acquire jewelry for their loved ones.
I have seen plenty of threads of men showing up to find out if they are getting a good deal, or if they are not getting ripped off by the "big bad jeweler" etc, etc...!!!
Its always about us men..., (well not always

), but most of the time...

I have also noticed in my readings on PS a lot of discussions between men who come to ask questions ending up in heated discussions in which women
(PS members) who are putting an effort to open their (men''s) eyes to better understand a woman''s true view into what kind or type of jewelry/Diamonds
she (as a woman) would honestly want.

This thread is perfect for some good honest chatting/talking..., most of us here on PS dont know each other...

Lets see you honest ladies out there shoot

 

[poptart]

Well, I fall into the categories of "getting jewelry when I was young," and "discovering PS after the fact." Most of the jewelry I got as presents when I was younger I still like, although they are yellow gold and I really like rose gold or silver colored (white gold, platinum, etc.) colored jewelry now. The gemstones in them though, are still some of my favorite, like emerald and amethyst.

As for my ering, DH was good and listened to what I wanted. He researched on his own and actually did quite well considering the circumstances (age, time to research, and funds). And here comes the "but..." My tastes have changed (of course) and after finding pricescope I also discovered antique cuts. And that was pretty much my downfall. I do happen to have one antique piece of jewelry from around the late 1800s that is a center ruby (gorgeous) and rose cut diamonds (also gorgeous). I picked it out myself from an antique vendor for my college graduation. Besides my wedding ring this is is my favorite piece of jewelry. If I ever get the chance to change my ering for an anniversary or something, I am definitely going to choose an antique cut diamond and platinum... in an ideal world my ering would be rose cut, oec, or omc diamonds in a half eternity band that would sit flush with my wedding ring. My wedding ring is fairly new since I lost my original earlier this year. I picked out the first wedding ring, but it wasn''t what I really wanted. It was what we could afford at the time. I''d had my eye on one specific VanCraeynest ring since I was literally 16... that is NOW my wedding ring. I love it and it is my favorite piece of jewelry. It''s platinum and it''s everything I wanted in a wedding ring.

I think I have reached my final decisions on what I like and dislike. Although I am still young, I feel my tastes in jewelry have matured and I really know what I like and exactly why I like it. That being said... I think I should get started on my "new" ering, lol!

Great thread!

*M*

 

[Skippy123]

Interesting DG!!!

I actually received some beautiful pieces of jewelry from my parents in my late teens. I keep most of that in a safety deposit box because it is set in yg; I have been thinking of bringing it home to wear since it is coming back into style and my parents gave me some beautiful items.

My husband use to buy me jewelry and he would pay for the warranty to go w/it when we were dating. That use to upset me because I thought it was usless and I didn''t really like the things he picked out. Now I pick out the jewelry, but now I miss him picking things out because it was so sweet. I don''t blame him for not wanting to pick things out since he can''t read my mind (who would have thought?). heheee

 

[Independent Gal]

The only jewelry I have ever received as a gift is my string of crazy big bubblegum pink pearls from my dad, an Italian charm bracelet from my mom which I would never have picked for myself, but which I love because she gave it to me, and my engagement ring. Everything else I have bought for myself. I doubt FI would have the guts to totally surprise me, given how fussy I am, so I''m betting he involves me if he ever decides to get me more jewelry.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

We shopped together at age 21 for the e-ring 30 years ago. It was a one carat rb, uncertified, set in a yg tiffany 4 prong setting. He then arranged to buy it and surprised me with it later. I did have a custom wedding band made with small diamonds. I always thought my rings were classic and beautiful. Over the years I got some other nice pieces, sapphire and diamond ring, pearls, diamond tennis bracelet, diamond earrings, other rings, etc. I always picked out things I liked and he bought them for me. I was somewhat discriminating in that I shopped at nicer stores, but I did not have the knowledge to discern true quality. I've always loved jewelry since I was a teenager.

Fast forward to a couple of years ago. My rings needed to be sized and the thin e-ring wouldn't take much sizing without replacing the shank. I was also really wanting white metal. White metals really are more flattering to me since I have dark hair and fair skin. We talked about resetting my current rings, but my husband was a little sentimental and thought they should stay as they were. So then he just said I could get a new ring for our 30th anniversary. Then I found PS, and the rest is history! Not only did I get the new e-ring (1.63 rb) and w-band, I also had to replace my diamond studs with H&A stones...a mind clean thing for me!

I have pretty classic, traditional taste, so I wear pretty much the same jewelry everyday. There are only a few more items I want to complete my white metal jewelry collection: a nice watch, DBY necklace and bracelet, a fine sapphire and diamond ring.... (and I will pick them out, of course!)

My dream item would be an Antique Gem cushion

...but you are a mystery person and I can't figure out who sells your stones!!!

(Not that I could afford it if I found one, probably!)

 

[Ellen]

When we got engaged, hubby proposed without a ring. He knew better.

Seriously, as unobservant as he can be sometimes (I say that with much love

), he truly got, and knew, that I would want a say in it. I am pretty picky, with taste that rarely goes with trends, and can be very particular even within small bounderies. So we went together. The only say he wanted in it, was how much could be spent.

We were totally uneducated, and did it the old fashioned way, we chose with our eyes. It was not a large stone by any stretch (.30ish), but it was what he felt he could afford, and wanted to spend. He was/still is somewhat, a very frugal man, which came from growing up in rather hard conditions as a child. Would I have taken a bigger stone? Absolutely. But I respected him, and his decision, and happily wore that set for 24 years.


As for other pieces of jewelry, he has bought several very nice, but not terribly expensive things along the way, but always geared towards my taste. They were always very much "me". I don't think he's ever bought me anything that I didn't like.

This brings us to almost two years ago. I really only wanted two big things in life, an inground pool, and a bigger diamond, in that order.

He wouldn't go for the pool

, so, I worked on the ring. I know he wondered why I wanted a bigger stone, and I explained to him that my taste had changed (it had), our finances were better, and I would like something a bit more substantial. Nothing mind blowing, just something nice. It took a bit of time, but he came to understand, and accept it.


That's when I started doing research, found PS, and realized I/we really knew nothing about diamonds. My old set was not the worst we could have ended up with, nor was it even close to the best. I did know long before I got here that we had been grossly overcharged on it.

So I read about diamonds until I was bleary, then started shopping. Long story short, I ended up buying online.


And now that I have my gorgeous 1.4 in a setting that is totally me (now), I am content for the duration (as far as my Ering stone

). And he gets it. The better quality diamond, the better price we got on it, and the fact that we can see it without squinting. Hey, we're old.

All this knowledge and appreciation for nice stones then led to my new diamond studs (which I picked out also).

Any diamond/substantial purchases in the future will be made by me, as he only appreciates what I've learned, he doesn't care to learn it all himself. That works.

My advice to men reading this would be, if you are going to be picking out her jewelery, KNOW your gal. Especially when it comes to Erings. If you don't know beyond a shadow of a doubt what she likes, and wants, please involve her in the process. She will most likely be wearing this set for a verrry long time, if not forever. If you want some element of surprise (besides when/where you give it to her), let her give you two or three options that she would be totally happy with, and you pick the one.



Lastly, I would venture to say that almost all women wear jewelry as an expression of themselves. It's rather personal. Any gift you give her should have that consideration in mind. Getting what "you" like, or the "best deal" does not necessarily the best gift make.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 9/22/2007 8:17:52 AM
Author:DiaGem
I think it would be extremely interesting to see the flow of tastes ''women (only)'' have in regards to their ER or better yet their jewelery pieces as a whole.

Some get their jewelry as a gift and have to live with what they get...
Some get their jewelry as a gift but have the (lucky) option to chose or influence...
Some get their jewelry when very young (and as we all know..., tastes changes with the years..., and education.)

Some get their jewelry as an uneducated consumer.
Some get their jewelry as a educated consumer.
Some get their jewelry as an uneducated consumer which later discovers a site like PS that opens their eyes and broadens their knowledge...

Etc..., etc.... (there are tons of more examples.)

Now I imagine some of you will ask why women only???
I think this can become a great educating thread for men or better yet men who want to acquire jewelry for their loved ones.
I have seen plenty of threads of men showing up to find out if they are getting a good deal, or if they are not getting ripped off by the ''big bad jeweler'' etc, etc...!!!
Its always about us men..., (well not always

), but most of the time...

I have also noticed in my readings on PS a lot of discussions between men who come to ask questions ending up in heated discussions in which women
(PS members) who are putting an effort to open their (men''s) eyes to better understand a woman''s true view into what kind or type of jewelry/Diamonds
she (as a woman) would honestly want.

This thread is perfect for some good honest chatting/talking..., most of us here on PS dont know each other...

Lets see you honest ladies out there shoot

hi DG I think that men listening to the general consensus of what women want can lead men astray from what THEIR woman wants. I think if the woman isn''t involved, or there is doubt of any sort, its a good idea to just get the cheapest gold setting you can and the biggest most beautiful diamond you can afford and then present the diamond and let the woman do her ring on her own. There have been a few guys that came here wanting to get heart diamonds and everyone discouraged them, including me. But at least one of them came back with the inside info that his girlfriend really DID want a heart - good thing he actually knew and didn''t listen to us! LOL There is so much variety out there, it really is a good idea to let the individual woman make her choices - unless she is truly willing to live with the consequences.

For me there were a lot of things I liked in the beginning - but once I found my inspiration ring, the shank was set in my mind and it never varied. I already had some idea about the head/prongs before I got my diamond, but meeting my diamond I really solidified things based on how the diamond performs and the views I wanted to see. I did have a strong idea in my head of what I wanted, but at the same time I am a true sentimentalist. I never saw the finished product before it was sent to us. I didn''t see it until my husband gave it to me. I already knew what I imagined and the reality would be different, but what it all boiled down to for me was a moment that my husband gave me a token of his affection and in that moment it didn''t matter WHAT he was handing me. Whatever was attached to that moment was MY ring. I feel like I got the best of both worlds there. I designed my own ring and yet was still surprised LOL

Does that help?

 

[Mara]

my first jewelry purchases or gifts were those of the uneducated starry eyed type when i was much younger. zales $199 heart special. $199 promise ring from macys.

it wasn't until later when i met my now-husband that i really started to become more interested in gems and jewelry on a more serious level as in more forever pieces. my first gift from him, a 1ctw set of round studs, were horribly cut, horrible color and clarity, but he thought he was getting a great set at a great price (family friend jeweler). we both had kind of an ah-ha when that happened.

so, when we started researching the e-ring...it was just kind of a given that i would help him looking around because i am the researcher in the relationship and prone to loving to absorb all types of knowledge on interesting things like a sponge...and things just snowballed from there. education ensued and i'm forever ruined (or enlightened, however you view it). so now any purchase or gift that my husband makes basically comes from me first, aka i'd love this....and he gets it for me. or i buy it for myself. we're fine with that because he would much rather not have to guess on what i want especially because he knows how *specific* my tastes are in absolutely everything, from food to clothes to home decor to of course, jewelry. and i would much rather prefer to own items that i will use/wear/desire over things that someone is guessing i might like. but also if he ever decided to go off on his own and surprise me with something, he knows the right people to 'ask' about things for me...in terms of friends who know diamonds that he knows as well or the jewelers i like to work with etc.

so at this point we are both educated, at different levels of course, but he would never just go off and buy some random piece at a 'great deal' any longer. so it has really benefitted both of us in the long-term. we are both happy with how the situations play out which works in the long-term for jewelry harmony.

 

[Gypsy]

We were educated consumers in the respect that we knew the 'ideal' specs for the stones we were looking at. Not as educated as we are today, and were lucky to have a friend recommed a very good jeweler with a great eye to us. However the gaps in our knowledge were important ones, and while we got a FAbULOUS asscher. We probably wouldn't have gotten an asscher at all if we had the knowledge we do now.

2 key pieces of knowledge we did not have:

The difference between a step cut and brilliant cut stones, in terms of type of lilght return, fire, and cleanliness.
That cushions existed.
The asschers face up small for their carat weight.

I had a lot of input into the process. I wanted a square or cut cornered square stone-- not a radiant. And I couldn't decide on the type of setting I wanted, so I asked John to put it into an inexpensive X prong setting. I was not however a part of the actual choosing of the stone and buying process.

We agreed the setting was temporary. Upgrades and changing stones so forth were not on my mind, not until I got here, so a buy back or upgrade policy was not part of the deal.

I did not know that my fiance would be attached to the diamond he bought me and would respectfully request that I keep it, as the center stone of any ring worn on my left ring finger. A request I cannot deny.

Four years later, I'm in the process of getting my stone reset into it's permanent home. A setting designed to highlight the asscher's corners, and beef up it's size a bit... while still maintaining the grace of a solitare.

Am I happy? Yes. My diamond is a symbol of our commitment to each other, as will the entire ring be when it's complete. My diamond was formally appraised and the appraisal was a very good one that lauded the diamond's cut. My new setting has been personally designed by me, and I am very excited about that. John is excited too, and loved the design being made.

What would I do differently? Get more educated... get out to high end stores and see what shapes, and rings look best on my finger, and see the different cuts in person before picking on at random merely because it was squarish... but finding out all the squareish options available to me. And what their qualites are.

John has really great taste in jewelry, and has since picked out several pieces for me, all of them to my taste perfectly. We buy pieces for me together, but I also love getting surprised by the pieces he picks out for me. It's a nice balance.

 

[Harriet]

It's wonderful to see men like Boston Jeff and Mysteryman put tremendous thought into their fiancees' rings, and I'd treasure a piece that's given to me with such love. That said, now that I'm in a position to buy my own jewellery, I'm having great fun. My work is highly analytical and playing with my stones lets me tap into my (nascent) creative side.

 

[Ellen]

*looking up nascent*

And I agree with you Harriet, it''s truly touching to see the lengths some of these guys go to in trying to get the perfect ring. Lucky goils.

 

[lyra]

I love seeing the effort that the guys coming to PS are putting into their ER purchases. But this is an age where we truly have a world of information at our fingertips. It wasn''t that way when I got my ER 24 years ago.

Back in the early 80''s, diamonds were very expensive. So was housing, etc. We had only $1K to spend, and that didn''t matter. Can you imagine, back then, my tiny .26 G VVSI diamond actually came with a GIA certificate and actually cost that much? I kind of LOL at that fact now. We were also informed consumers, so we went to a place that was more about quality than high overhead. I had picked out the style I liked. My tastes changed, but more than anything it was an extremely impractical design (too high with a utilitarian look U-prong for the center stone held above 12 bead set 2 pointers). The 2 rings were very heavy in YG and cut into my finger too much. I had a reset with all the same stones plus some more at 5 years.

I guess some of us were just born to be jewellery shoppers. I was, my husband was. He''s from a jewellery family. Actually, talking about jewellery and gemstones was what originally brought us together too.

I think young women getting engaged for the first time these days are at least versed in what they want, and are not afraid to communicate it to their SO''s. I think that''s the way it should be. Surprise is great, but I think most women would dearly love to get at least some version of their "dream ring" when the time comes.

 

[partgypsy]

I think it''s very very hard to buy other people jewelry. There are some women who don''t care as much about jewelry (and I do NOT mean in a bad way) who have few pieces and the pieces they receive they wear because it reminds them of their loved ones. Sentimental jewelry. Then the rest. I "think" I have a pretty consistent style (minimalist) of what I like, but it seems that my family (and even hubby) knows I like jewelry and that is the extent of it, buying me cheap costume, excessively ornate pieces, heavy beads, etc that are not my taste at all. And then I feel terrible, because I assume they put alot thought into their gift if not money and I know I will rarely if ever wear it. Which is a waste.

I would say really research her style. Look at all her jewelry, not just in her box but what she actually wears, what she is drawn to in catalogs, etc. Involve her in some way in the decision making process, even if just in a window shopping way. Once you have hit on her wants and needs, what piece she is drawn to, make it the best quality you can afford in your budget. And if all else fails purchase it in a way to allow returns

if possible.

I know I''m terrible, but I''m being honest.

 

[partgypsy]

ETA. I don''t think my tastes really changed, just evolved. Once I was able to buy my own jewelry I purchased semiprecious stones set in silver, simple settings usally bezel. As I got older I was able to afford more expensive gemstones and have them set in gold

. In general I don''t think big jewelry looks good on me. I guess the only change is that when I was young I didn''t like diamonds at all, while now I have a diamond ring I wear pretty much all the time, and wouldn''t mind 1 or 2 more pieces of diamond jewlery in my lifetime.

 

[surfgirl]

Interesting thread DG, as always, when you have a thread going!

As for me, I'd say with regards to my ering/wband purchases, we were definitely educated consumers. Though I learned a bit more from PS (thought I knew a lot about diamonds but realized there was plenty more to learn!). In fact, every place I went into asked at some point in the discussion, if I was in "the trade" and was surprised when I said "no". I think the power of whipping out one's own loupe cannot be underestimated...

As a child, in my family, jewelry was given as a gift regularly. My grandfather gave me a "name necklace" when I was very young (he made me recide the Pledge of Alligiance in order to 'earn' it!), and he gave me a gold locket when I was about 6 years old I think. I still have the locket. And the name necklace. He also gave me a gold bracelet that sadly was lost years ago. I was thinking recently that my very first piece of jewelry that I picked out on my own was an antique cameo ring when I was about 7 years old. I had a friend who's mother was an antiques dealer and all her stuff was in her home and she had a jewelry display case that I would always stare into when I was at their home. For my bday, my mother said I could pick out a piece of jewelry and I said I would like something from my friend's mother so we went to her house specifically to look at the rings and I selected that little cameo ring. I still have it. Rose gold with a very ornate twisted filigree setting. It's really pretty but just not something I would wear anymore, sadly. From there I picked out watches that my father would buy me, and sometimes my father would come back from one of his Asian buying trips and bring my sister and I Biwa pearl necklaces, nice earrings, etc. When my parents went to Tahiti many years ago, they brought back sharks tooth necklaces. Jewelry was definitely in our family blood. Ironically, I was always more of a pearl girl and wasn't really very interested in diamonds until about 35/37 or so, when I bought my first pair of diamond studs. I paid for most of them, my bf at the time (now husband!) contributed, as did family members for bday presents. In fact, I've trained Mr. Surfgirl so well that he checks out other people's erings too and he'll say to me "did you see so and so's ering? It looked dead, didn't it? No fire at all..." It actually warms my heart that he understands what I love and see in a good piece of jewelry!

So it's been a progression for me. It's in my blood for sure. Most of the antique pieces I now own are from my great-grandmother, who was quite the jewlery hound and back in the day, bought her own jewlery before it was acceptable for a woman to do so. So without her, I wouldn't have the amazing collection I have now. I'd like to think she'd be rather pleased with her great-granddaughter sharing her love of jewelry...

Oh, and as for the original root of the topic here, I always encourage male posters to take their lady shopping before buying. I dont think there's anything wrong with buying or making the final selection, but an ering is a very personal thing and the woman has to wear it for the rest of her life so I think she should be part of the selection process, if only to determine which shapes/settings look best on her and which she prefers...

 

[Harriet]

Date: 9/22/2007 4:03:11 PM
Author: Ellen
*looking up nascent*

And I agree with you Harriet, it''s truly touching to see the lengths some of these guys go to in trying to get the perfect ring. Lucky goils.

Are you making fun of me, Ms. El?

 

[Ellen]

Date: 9/24/2007 9:11:03 AM
Author: Harriet
Are you making fun of me, Ms. El?

Absolutely not!

You are just too shmart for me, usin them big words.

Which is why you are a lawyer and I''m not. I really did look it up!

 

[DivaDiamond007]

As far as my ering is concerned, I pretty much knew what I wanted before my husband propsed so we talked about it and then had it done. I knew that I wanted someting "antique-ish" but could never find anything I liked in the stores or online. We ended up talking to a person at a local (mall!) jeweler and she pulled out "the book". I could pick any setting I wanted and it would be made. Just. For. Me. So that''s what we did. We picked out a Stuller illusion setting for my .80 Leo center and got 9 .8-.9 stones for the sidestones and for the five-stone wedding band. I love my set and probably wouldn''t trade it in/upgrade unless we won the lottery or came into a ton of money

.

Needless to say, I found PS after getting engaged, married, etc. I have other pieces of jewelry from the same store and haven''t had any issues with any of it. Notably, my favorite pieces are my 1ct tw yg diamond eternity band (1st anni. present) and my 3-stone diamond ring. The center of the three stone is about .50 and I''m not really sure about the sidestones - probably about .25 each for 1 ct tw. The three stone is in a trellis setting and I even got the curved band to go with it. Sometimes I wear it as my set when I don''t want to be so blingy. I also have a plain 4mm white gold band that I pair with my ering for sometimes - even though my ering is more two-tone than wg. I also have a pair of .30 ct tw Leo stud earrings that I wear everyday.

If I had found PS before getting engaged then I''m sure that we would have done a ton more research and would have purchased a H&A/AGS000 et al. diamond. That''s not how it worked out for us so I''m not going to worry about it now - especially since I love what I already have.

My tastes have changed a bit over the years but, as far as jewelry is concerned, I''m a simple person. I don''t care if my pieces are the most expensive or the most perfect. I just like jewelry. My mother does not appreciate jewels as much as I do and she thinks I''m crazy to buy any of it beyond the basics.

Jess