Find your diamond
Find your jewelry
shape
carat
color
clarity

If celebrating birthdays is something you enjoy, read this thread and help me plan!

D

diamondyes

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 16, 2020
Messages
1,835
I have a big birthday coming up :)
I’d love for my husband to be involved in the planning. His love languages are acts of service and quality time. Gifts and planning are not his strong suits! How can I help him plan something special for me? Left to his own devices the dear heart has forgotten to buy me a birthday cake, and gifted me a lunch box. I would like to do some planning with him to make life better for us both :)

Should we go to a jewelry store together? Should I order my own cake? Any cool ideas?
 
Hi,

Do you want a party, or have a few close friends in or at restaurant? Do you just want it to be just the two of you?
Yes, buy your own cake-take him with you-make this a teaching moment.
If you are looking to get off ban island, you must beg.

Annette
 
I'm sorry @Daisys and Diamonds ...sometimes these things happen. I hope you can make up for it next year and
go all out (while still remembering what a lovely lady her majesty was).

Happy belated Birthday!
 
@diamondyes I would tell him a trip to <insert your favorite jewelry store here> and dinner afterwards
at <insert a special restaurant here> would be nice.

Hopefully, he remembers to fill in with flowers and a lovely card!

Sometimes guys are just so bad at these things but if this is a big one he should pull through with a little
prodding (and suggesting)! Good luck! I hope you end up with a lovely Birthday evening and a
lovely gift to show us afterward???
 
@diamondyes, I would plan it with him. Order your cake and take him jewelry shopping. I’m so hoping you get off banned island.

Perhaps I should not be commenting on this thread. I’m thrilled with my husband letting me pick out my own gift. He is equally thrilled that I like it this way.
 
Calliecake said:
@diamondyes, I would plan it with him. Order your cake and take him jewelry shopping. I’m so hoping you get off banned island.

Perhaps I should not be commenting on this thread. I’m thrilled with my husband letting me pick out my own gift. He is equally thrilled that I like it this way.
Click to expand...

Ooo what have you picked out together?? Inspire me!
 
We have been married a long time. We usually don’t pick jewelry out together. I usually find something I want when I’m not looking to buy jewelry. Think it over and most of the time talk myself out of it.

I fell in love with a ring close to 10 years ago. I told him the details about the ring and where it was. He came home a few days later and surprised me with the ring. I was stunned.
 
diamondyes said:
I have a big birthday coming up :)
I’d love for my husband to be involved in the planning. His love languages are acts of service and quality time. Gifts and planning are not his strong suits! How can I help him plan something special for me? Left to his own devices the dear heart has forgotten to buy me a birthday cake, and gifted me a lunch box. I would like to do some planning with him to make life better for us both :)

Should we go to a jewelry store together? Should I order my own cake? Any cool ideas?
Click to expand...

I’d buy myself a new husband.
 
Lol umm definitely buy your own cake. Make reservations for dinner so there is something planed then tell him about it.

In regards to taking him jewelery shopping, I don't actually know what the right thing to do is. I think maybe this is a good idea, but there's a few scenarios you might have to be emotionally prepared for (I.e. he loses interest and isn't super engaged 15 minutes in, or you don't find anything in the shop, or he wants to buy you something you really don't like that much). Id be trying to make sure I had the situation worked out so that I had a fall back for these scenarios. For what its worth I also have a husband who isn't great at gifting what he is disinterested in. He can come up with really nice gifts and surprises but they're all in his area of interests -- for instance I often get computer mice, wireless presenters, phones/phone cases, a stylus, a holiday, all things he thinks I need (and all presents he would love) but he probably won't manage a piece of jewelery by himself.
 
I think many men are decades behind us ladies in the intricacies of gift buying and party planning and the like because they've often been socialized differently in regard to it all (meaning not been taught or expected to do much of it). This became clear to me after a few early, unintentionally hilarious gifts from my husband.

It used to annoy me. But then I've also known a couple of guys who were fabulous with the just-right dinner reservations, the expensive jewelry gifts, flowers and the rest but who were also too slick all around, along with it, if you know the type. Not that those two things always go together but, personally, I have noticed some correlation. Just saying, not being that good with the big gestures is not the worst "disability" someone could have.

My guy is wonderful otherwise so I decided many moons ago to just let him off the hook. So I do the majority of the reservations, cakes, flowers and gifts, whether for myself or others - and with great joy, since the upside of this way is that everything is exactly how I want it.

I like to keep him in the loop though, by showing him what I'm thinking of, asking his opinion on something, asking him to place an order or pick something up or whatever. YMMV but I'd just do that, to whatever degree you like.
 
Last edited:
Just ask him for his credit card and organise to your heart's content!

DK :lol-2:
 
Hi,

I would plan a 4 day weekend to the Caribbean or Bahamas. You can do all that planning together. Its time for an adventure. Can't you feel that sun on your bike ride through the fauna and flora of that climate.

There is always Paris as well. Nice four days abroad.

A New England weekend- leaves turning, cozy in bed, and good food.

Be a little wild.

Annette
 
seaurchin said:
I've also known a couple of guys who were fabulous with the just-right dinner reservations, the expensive jewelry gifts, flowers and the rest but who were also too slick all around, along with it, if you know the type. Not that those two things always go together but, personally, I have noticed some correlation. Just saying, not being that good with the big gestures is not the worst "disability" someone could have.
Click to expand...

I’m so glad you wrote this @seaurchin. I wanted to write this very thing but was kind of afraid I would get blasted for it. When I was single I saw a huge correlation with the men who were great with the gifts and grand displays of affection but they werent great guys. They were usually extremely charming but not genuinely kind.

I do realize people vary and what is important to one person may not be important to another.
 
People can’t read minds. Women may be more intuitive than men but they still can’t come up with perfect with no input from the other person.
I have known so many women disappointed with not receiving what they wanted even though they felt like they dropped good hints. I have told my daughter and DIL if there is something you really want (within reason) then speak up. Not with hints but with real words. You still may not receive what you are looking for due to several reasons, but you left no fuzz on the peach regarding what you wanted. One year my daughter wanted an Apple Watch for Christmas. She thought she had communicated that. She got a Roomba vacuum so she would no longer have to do that chore. He thought he had done well - lol! The Roomba was returned and a watch purchased. He told me that if he had known what she wanted, he would have gotten that and saved them all a lot of time and aggravation - ha!
How about I would like to go to —— for dinner for my birthday or would like to go to ——- for my birthday trip? If nothing else, it is a conversation starter. My husband usually tells me we will do whatever I want to do but he needs to know what that is. Fair enough!
 
I think we all have different gifts and skills.

Order the cake you like and tell him what gift you would like.
In this case, act like a stereotypical man and simply be clear on what you want.

People that are not into cards, gifts and planning are frustrated by partners who get upset if their expectations are not met. It's like a secret game and they aren't told the rules.
Accept that he is wired differently and tell him what you expect. Maybe have a discussion and perhaps you simply buy your own gift?
It's not a hill worth dying on if he is not into getting a birthday cake--he probably shows his love in other important ways.
 
If he is not hardwired re gifts, planning, and surprises, then don’t force it. There is a risk of disappointment and worse. If it hasn’t been a big deal up to now why force the issue on a milestone bday. Plan and buy what you want. You will eat the same food, travel to the same place and wear the same jewels whether he did it or you.
 
What do you want? Party? Trip? Gift? The more guidance you give him, the more confident he will be. As the travel planner in the family, I wanted my husband to take a turn for my birthday one year. So I picked Las Vegas ( we had already been there several times so he was familiar) and he could do it online. I pick out my jewelry because my husband is color blind. So I would provide several options and let him choose one.
For a party, some venue or theme ideas would help.
 
Calliecake said:
I’m so glad you wrote this @seaurchin. I wanted to write this very thing but was kind of afraid I would get blasted for it. When I was single I saw a huge correlation with the men who were great with the gifts and grand displays of affection but they werent great guys. They were usually extremely charming but not genuinely kind.

I do realize people vary and what is important to one person may not be important to another.
Click to expand...

Whoooo boy does this resonate.

But I'd also not excuse a dude who just can't seem to muster up enough F's to do something to make you happy on your birthday. There's over-the-top charmer and there's bare minimum Schmo. Everyone deserves the happy medium Harry at the very least.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
GET 3 FREE HCA RESULTS JOIN THE FORUM. ASK FOR HELP
Jewelry Blog
PriceScope-Concierge-Ad
Find prime cuts.
Top