I was bad...

[sap483]

So ladies, I''m feeling the need to confess some shameful behavior. I lost it this weekend when FF made a comment about how I''d have to wait a while to get engaged. I''ve been really anxious about this lately as he''s been making all sorts of comments that lead me to believe it''s going to happen very soon. I started crying and screaming at him at the same time about how he always got his way and this time he wasn''t going to and how I had wanted this for so long and had been disappointed with each passing occasion. Apparently this amused him as he started laughing at me which just made me more upset. When he finally got me to calm down he told me that he was trying to plan something amazing for me. I feel bad about getting so angry, but the thing is, he''s had months to plan something amazing! How long can it possibly take??? I really want the time prior to my engagement to be filled with happy memories, this is clearly not what I have in mind. Ugghh...

 

[bee*]

sorry to hear about that-I would have lost it with D too if he had laughed if I was so angry! Have you got any sort of timeline off him about when he is going to do it?

 

[luckystar112]

Aw Sap...

I''m sure he''s just trying to throw you off! Maybe he felt like he had given you too many hints and was blowing it. I wouldn''t be surprised if he really did get the diamond, just like you thought! (And if he didn''t you can always get that cushion now! Ooh...idea. Tell him you want a cushion and watch his reaction. If he looks scared/dissappointed he probably already got a diamond! Then say "just kidding!" Sneaky.)

I can totally relate to you though. MONTHS ago I printed out a bunch of pictures off here of the diamond ring that I want. (Locke''s signature...but now I want a cushion!! Err)
I put the stack of pictures in a filing cabinet we have so that he can take them whenever he''s ready. Well like a month later they were missing! I was so excited!!!!!!! 2-3 months have gone by. I was cleaning out his truck for him yesterday and found the stack of pictures in the pouch behind the passengers seat, collecting dust, abandoned. Here I was thinking my ring was being made and he hasn''t even started the process yet.

 

[sap483]

Bee- Back in November (after a wedding hehe) he promised it would happen within 6 months. That gives him until May...I''m positive it will happen befpre then, but I''ve never been very good at being patient. As it happens I had a long talk with my cousin last night about this, and she basically pointed out that I was being awful to FF and I needed to stop being so selfish. It''s supposed to be exciting and special for him too and I''m not being fair. While I don''t completely hold him blameless, I do see her point. So I''ll try to keep myself distracted with other things until it happens.

Luckystar- I do think he has the ring, although I''m trying really hard to resist the urge to snoop. Hehe, I showed him a picture of a cushion on here and told him that''s what I wanted for an anniversary ring after we''re married. The look on his face was priceless...he thought he''d be free and clear once he bought the engagement ring! Or at least that I would stop showing him pics of rings! As for your dilemma, do you know that he didn''t use those pics to start a ring for you? Boys can be just as sneaky... Perhaps it''s time to refresh his memory? The fact that you now want a cushion may be the perfect excuse to bring it up again!

 

[firebirdgold]

Oh the joys of boy time.

Sure you want the time before your engagement to be filled with happy memories.... All LIW grads here who have happy hysteria/anxiety-free memories of the time before their engagement raise their hands... *Cricket* *Cricket*


Sorry, just grit your teeth and think of it as practice for marriage.

 

[robbie3982]

Sap, I can totally realte! I swear I was a crazy person while I was a lady in waiting, always yelling or crying. I think I asked FI when it was going to be AT LEAST once a day towards the end. I really dont'' know how he put up with me. Guys really don''t get how insane it makes us to have to wait for something so huge like this. I think FI started to get it a little after we were engaged and he had to wait for his engagement big screen tv (we had to wait for a good deal! I swear I wasn''t trying to get even).

My FI was lying to me for months about when it was going to be to throw me off. He "accidentally" let it slip that it would be around thanksgiving, but he''d been planning all along that it would be in August during our vacation at the beach.

Hang in there!

 

[~*Alexis*~]

My brother did the same thing when his now fiance, reated the same way...he already had the ring....lol...

They got engaged that weekend..... on the Mississippi River.....

Patience is a virtue.....

Even though it sucks......

 

[KristyDarling]

Awww, dont'' feel bad! The fact that he laughed at your meltdown means with 100% certainty that he has been thinking and planning behind the scenes for awhile now, getting your proposal juuuust right. It might have hurt at the time, but I would take it as a very, very good sign that a really sweet proposal is coming your way soon. Hang in there and enjoy the suspense!!

 

[sap483]

Ladies I hope you''re onto something!! Keep your fingers crossed for me! In the meantime, I''ll try to avoid moments of hysteria by thinking that his behavior is all part of some grand scheme that results in something sparkly finding a home on my finger

Although I know I''m not alone, it helps to hear about your experiences...

 

[Ellen]

I too believe it''s coming soon.


Men are idiots. (and I say that in the nicest way possible) I''ll save you the story, but my hubby pulled something similar prior to me getting my upgrade.


Hang in there, be happy, it''s coming.

 

[iheartscience]

Why do boys always pull stuff like this?! After many meltdowns just like yours, I finally sat my boyfriend down and made him realize that he had to buy the ring for me. Nowish.

There were plenty of missed opportunities in my case, too. A two week trip to Europe (and he actually let slip about 6 months before that trip that he was going to propose to me there!), Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year''s...

I felt like the entire engagement was just ruined. But now that I know it''s coming for real (the ring is being made as we speak!) I''m feeling more excited about it.

I don''t understand why boys don''t realize that holding out for too long to propose puts a strain on their girlfriends and their relationships! But I think it''s actually a good thing that you let your boyfriend see how he was affecting you...And the specific time frame makes it more real for a boy, I think.

Good luck and I hope your boyfriend gives it to you soon!

 

[sap483]

Ah yes, missed opportunities. Well first there was our trip to Egypt where even my dad called me to ask me if I thought Tom would propose there since it was a special destination. I mean come on, even dad thought about it. I later found out that the thought hadn''t even occurred to him until I mentioned it. Then of course there was Christmas followed by New Years Eve. Originally we had planned to just stay in for NYE, but a few of his friends wanted to have dinner out in NYC, so I said that sounded like fun because I knew he''d like to hang out with his friends- although I really wanted to stay in. He later admits to me that he was thinking about proposing but then we changed our plans to go to NYC so he decided not to. Then there was our anniversary which happens to have been Superbowl Sunday...once again no proposal. Those are just the major events (since November); there have been plenty of other missed opportunities.

So anyway, we talked last night about it all again, and he admitted that he was planning on proposing to me on Saturday but then I flipped out on him so he decided it wasn''t a good time. Are you kidding me??? SO basicially now I know it could happen at any moment. How cruel would it be if after he told me this he waited several months? You don''t think he''ll do that, right?

I went and got a nice mani just in case, hehe.

 

[iheartscience]

I don''t think he''ll be that cruel! And I bet you''ll probably be glad he waited just a bit after your flip out so the moment won''t be clouded by that or seem like that''s the only reason why. But maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan do I feel you on those missed opportunities. I mean come on!

But we''ll both forget all about those missed opportunities once we have the rings on our fingers, right? I sure hope so!

Anyways, keep us posted, and I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you to get proposed to this Saturday!

 

[allycat0303]

If I''m screaming at my guy, he is AFRAID, and not laughing (and if he''s laughing he''s going to stop when I throw some breakable object at him

), so it sounds as though your guy is having a good time drawing out the wait. Sometimes, men can be so evil it defies imagination. I''ve been thinking about this a lot lately (long, bad situations that I find painful) and I think you have to make a really conscious decision to say "I am going to stop freaking out, and I am going to enjoy this process" Everytime I feel myself turning to anger, tears, I say that to myself. That and *everything comes to an end eventually* all LOONNNG drawn out things, where you have to be patient, eventually the day arrives and it is over, so it would have been a shame to spend all those days leading up to it being misreable. Before you know it, the ring will be on your finger and you''ll forget about the long wait.

Good luck down the stretch!

 

[sap483]

Date: 3/9/2007 6:48:43 AM
Author: allycat0303
If I'm screaming at my guy, he is AFRAID, and not laughing (and if he's laughing he's going to stop when I throw some breakable object at him

), so it sounds as though your guy is having a good time drawing out the wait. Sometimes, men can be so evil it defies imagination. I've been thinking about this a lot lately (long, bad situations that I find painful) and I think you have to make a really conscious decision to say 'I am going to stop freaking out, and I am going to enjoy this process' Everytime I feel myself turning to anger, tears, I say that to myself. That and *everything comes to an end eventually* all LOONNNG drawn out things, where you have to be patient, eventually the day arrives and it is over, so it would have been a shame to spend all those days leading up to it being misreable. Before you know it, the ring will be on your finger and you'll forget about the long wait.

Good luck down the stretch!

Haha, breakable objects, now why didn't I think of that? Oh, probably because I was in my house. Next time, I'll make sure we have this talk at his place hehe. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she suggested I go to a yoga class. Yoga and tantric breathing are my mom's solution to many of life's problems, but this time it actually helped clear my head quite a bit. You're right allycat, I just need to find a method of calming myself when I get into these situations. It's a lot easier to think about how much I love this man when I'm not filled with rage over how he's torturing me hehe. No more meltdowns, 5 days and counting!

On a sidenote- a friend of mine suggested I tell T that I need to think about it when he finally does pop the question. I think it would be hilarious and certainly would pay him back for the anxiety he's caused me. I could never bring myself to do that though. I'm pretty certain the moment he asks I'll be screaming yes at him amidst the tears. The thought of the look on his face if I said maybe makes me laugh though (evil, I know).

 

[lovebug]

Ha ha, sap! I thought about doing the same thing, but you''re right - I was too busy freaking out to say anything other than "Oh My God"! It took him asking me again to actually say yes!

I did the same thing and really did my best to try not to talk about it at all. I know it is so hard, though. Especially when family and friends keep asking "when is it going to happen?" like you have any control over the issue!

Good luck. I think it will happen soon. It seems like he is just waiting for the "right time" - whatever that means! It''s obviously on his mind now!

 

[luckystar112]

lol I actually told my boyfriend that I was going to say no when he proposed because he''s been making me wait so long. He LAUGHED at me! He thought it was the funniest thing I had ever said. Darn it. I''ve lost my mystery.