I WANT TO GIVE MY BF A ENGAGEMENT RING FOR HIS BDAY NEXT MONTH

[Kharizma]

AM I BEING TO FORWARD ABOUT THIS? WE HAVE DISCUSSED IT AND HE SAID HE WOULD RATHER PROPOSE TO ME, BUT HE ALSO SAID THAT IF I DID HE WOULD ACCEPT AND WE BOTH AGREED ON A LONG ENGAGEMENT WHAT DO YOU THINK?

 

[motcs]

Speaking from a guy's point of view, I would *much* rather do the proposing than being proposed to. To be honest, I'm not sure how I would react if my GF proposed to me. Typically, the woman in the relationship is "more" ready to be engaged than the man. Well, maybe not "more" ready, but definitely ready sooner. With that said, I think you might be second guessing his readiness for the engagement/marriage in the future because of your initiative. When would he have proposed? How would he have proposed?

I would strongly discourage you from giving your BF an e-ring.

 

[JimDiamond]

I'm not saying there's not a circumstance where such a proposal might not be a good idea, but why don't you go ring shopping together? When you find the ring you like, he buys it and holds on to it until he's ready to propose (as many on this board have done). It won't be a shock, but he can surprise you if he tries. If he's not willing to look seriously at rings with you then maybe he's not ready--or maybe he already has plans of his own. It's okay to talk about your desire to get married; you can talk about it some more with a minimum of ambiguity so that he knows you're ready for a ring on your finger. If he still shys away at that point I think you need to wait because he will need time. Good luck to you.

 

[kkeen15]

I agree with the guys. There are many threads in the past concerning this same question (use the search function). I'm not sure if any women who posted here actually went through with it, but I do know that none of them posted here afterwards (as in a happy proposal story).

Also, if you have to ask random people on the Internet if we think you should do it, that should tell you something. If your man would be comfortable with this, then you would already know and be fine proposing, without asking outsiders' opinions.

There are a million reasons not to, and from what I'm getting from your post, not many reasons to actually do it. Just wait, it'll come sooner or later. Although the guys' suggestion to go shopping together is a great one--try that if you want to see some action taken!

 

[fire&ice]

......JUST A COLLEGE STUDENT

Simply put, No. You have your whole life ahead of you. Why do you need to be engaged?

 

[chialea]

Patience is hard in this situation (and a lot of us around here know that), but it's really necessary. You do have your whole life ahead of you, so no need to rush. Me, I wouldn't get engaged in college, just because I could wait until we graduated, and do it then. (Similarly I'm not getting married when I'm in grad school.) While you're in school, it's probably a good time to relax and let the relationship deepen, because you're going to have all the stressful times after graduation later.

Also, about a ring -- he may not want an engagement ring at all. I offered to give one to my SO, but he didn't want one because, basically, it's not traditional. I am, however, getting him an engagement watch. He's expressed that he'd like to propose, so why not make him happy by letting him? You love him, so hey, making him happy is a good thing to do

 

[JennWit2Ns]

I would wait for him to propose. On my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend, I asked him to marry me. We've talked about marriage since we were dating 3 months. So I took the brave road and asked him after a nice evening of dinner. He said no, but he wasn't cruel about it. He told me that he wants to wait till we have more money and he wants to be the one asking. He also mentioned that he wants to ask my dad's permission. This is such a huge thing for both parties and let me tell you after him telling me why he said no, I'm glad he did. It's now another year and a few months later. Still not engaged, but he did tell me soon. He just started a new job in the FDNY and he wants to have a lil more money in the bank. In the end you'll be glad you waited for him to do the asking. Good luck.

 

[get_cut_not_ripped]

I'm going to jump in and agree with Kkeen:

Basic psyc. says that if you have to seek approval for something, it's typically because you aren't sure of it yourself. I've known many people who have been in a similar situation. There's always one of the couple who's more 'ready' than the other. The fact is, the more you push, and get nothing, the more likely it is that the situation is not right at the time.

There's a big distinction between loving someone, feeling like you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and actually doing it. Take a moment and look at your families. Look at all the married uncles, aunts, siblings, and even his parents. Picture yourselves at their ages, taking care of eachother, dealing with medical issues, dealing with tradjedy & also dealing with happiness. That's the balance of reality versus idealism. Once you can accept that as your absolute future, then you can romanticize the relationship as much as you want, and live for the moment. The most important thing I could possibly tell you is that the relationship you have now is fun: full of adventure, excitement, passion, etc....You can always have that in the future as well (yes, even when you're old)....but it's important to get a perspective on things and realize that the way things are today, is not the way the rest of your years together will be. Don't get caught up in the moment and lose sight of what the future holds for you. Build the relationship and solidify your bonds with eachother.

"Is it love, or is it the idea of being in love".....think about it.