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I should have never gone to Tiffany''s

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well, I gather you have already decided to keep it, but I did have some thoughts that might be relevant.
If what you quoted is what she actually said, that those took her breath away without any specific mention of the Tiffany name brand or a particular ring style, I cant help but think that it was the visual performance of the diamond that was taking her breath away. so the way that I interpreted what she said, right or wrong, was that she wants a diamond that sparkles and looks beautiful more than she wants size, and not knowing much about cut and knowing that tiffany diamonds accomplish just that, then that would lead to the logical conclusion that though there is a premium for them she would rather have the smaller diamond that sparkles than the larger dull one. But because she didnt say anything that sounded like it was really the brand itself that was taking her breath away--though obviously she trust TCO craftsmanship and I dont believe there is any reason to try to change that--then getting a larger diamond that sparkles just as should be a pretty safe gamble, given what you quoted at any rate.


But, one important thing to consider is why did they take her breath away. I believe it was probably largely due to the lighting. It sounds to me like, while white light return is a beautiful thing to appreciate when living with a diamond, what she really wants to see is fire and scinitilattion. So, one important thing to remember in your initial presentation is that she is not just comparing your diamond to a Tiffany diamond, she is comparing your diamond in the particular lighting environment in which you present the diamond against the Tiffany diamond in optimal store lighting conditions.

Thus, have a more beautiful diamond and change the lighting and the poorer cut diamond in the Optimal lighting will surely win out. Sunset, if not too late, should accomplish your goal.

One piece of advice would be to be sitting down so the her body will not cast a shadow over the diamond when you propose. If there isnt any direct light shining on the diamond it is sure to be white and gorgeous, but not comparable in performance to what she saw in the tiffany lighting.

Second, make sure that the diamond is facing the sun, and that it isnt too low and dispersed.

Third, whatever the lighting is outside...as some of it will obviously be out of your control because of clouds, etc...make plans to go somewhere for dinner, or a coffee house, nail parlor, somewhere that has alot of pinpoint halogen or other open light sources.

Take her somewhere afterward that she can sit down and silently observe her diamond in optimum lighting conditions
while doing something else. Since this is an upgrade and is largely about the diamond I think it would be perfectly reasonable to devise a romantic evening based somewhat on lighting environments, and in that way your diamond should take her breath away just as easily as the tiffany diamonds did in store, and be larger--most likely a pretty fair trade for the Tiffany name brand--since she didnt specify any actual earnest desire for that particular namebrand diamond, but only a desire for a breathtaking stone.
 
yet as I typed that, it became ironic to me that I have a $1million dollar 27.99 carat daimond lotus setting as my avatar lol
 
WorkingHardForSmallRewards, these are very good suggestions. I know that I will give it to her at sunset and I know I''m going to make sure that there are no shadows cast on the stone the first time she sees it. At what point during sunset do you think would be the best. When the sun is just above the horizon, or a little earlier? Afterwards, we do plan on eating and partying the night away. Hell, we''ll be at an all-inclusive resort!
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So, yes, there will be many opportunities that night for her to observe the stone all by herself.
 
Surgeon,

You have made the right decision! Since you questioned her further, it seems like you have determined that 1 carat is more important to her than the Tiffany Box. You needed to either compromise on the name, or the carat weight, and you chose the carat weight over the name.

There is no doubt in my mind, that when you present her with that gorgeous diamond, on a tropical vacation, at sunset, she will not even be thinking about Tiffany''s. I really think that when she sees this diamond, which you have obviously very carefully chosen, you will know that you have done the right thing!

Have a wonderful time
 
Date: 9/10/2007 3:40:41 PM
Author: surgeon
WorkingHardForSmallRewards, these are very good suggestions. I know that I will give it to her at sunset and I know I'm going to make sure that there are no shadows cast on the stone the first time she sees it. At what point during sunset do you think would be the best. When the sun is just above the horizon, or a little earlier? Afterwards, we do plan on eating and partying the night away. Hell, we'll be at an all-inclusive resort!
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So, yes, there will be many opportunities that night for her to observe the stone all by herself.
This gets my vote. Terribly romantic, and you'll have lots of time for sunshine.

And an all inclusive to boot, what a lucky gal!
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Those are SO fun.
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Well, I''m three pages late to this, and my word of wisdom is to always take someone to look at poorer quality than you plan to buy so they can be happily surprised!

Anyway, by all means use WF for the setting if you only have 4 weeks!!! LynnB''s gorgeous setting is a stock setting now...the Harmony. I think it would be gorgeous set with a princess! And of course, in that case, you need them to make the matching band, not Tiffany. But if you want a solitaire with no stones, try the Legato Sleek Line.
 
Why does it matter what you want or how much research you put into it? Just get the lady what she wants. Seriously. I find these threads odd. You can get a signedpieces ring perhaps for your budget - that would be an option. Otherwise I don''t see how she won''t always be disappointed in looking at that ring b/c it wasn''t what SHE wanted.
 
Date: 9/10/2007 7:19:15 PM
Author: winternight
Why does it matter what you want or how much research you put into it? Just get the lady what she wants. Seriously. I find these threads odd. You can get a signedpieces ring perhaps for your budget - that would be an option. Otherwise I don't see how she won't always be disappointed in looking at that ring b/c it wasn't what SHE wanted.

I find post by people have posted without reading and paying attention odd.

If she had said she WANTED a tiffany ring for the sake of it being Tiffnay, then he woudl have gotten it for her, obviously. But here she simply said she wanted one because they took her breath away, and that being after she saw them--not beforehand--further implying that it wasn't the name brand itself she was so strongly attached to as it was the light performance, largely a result of store lighting, of course.

So why did tif. take her breath away is the real question, and has he already gotten her that + more.

Throw into the mix only having one afternoon to decide to send back the diamond thereby emphasizing the time constraints he is now under in his overall proposal plan. Exasperate matters in taking the risk that something might have already happened to his diamond or might happen in transit that could cause for a delay in refunds or a tedious procedure of getting a refund from the USPS, thereby leaving him having to make a second purchasing while the refund on this one is still pending or even worse something could happen and he might not get a refund at all, and at the very least it might end up being a bit lengthy of a procedure than expected.

and then on top of all of that the diamond he already has is one that he has personally evaluated and proven via various technological and laboratory testing methods to be of top notch quality, a diamond that tiffany could not possibly beat but might be able to match, and it becomes very reasonable for him to stick with his purchase, despite his ff mentioning that the merch at Tif took her breath away.

So I personally think you ought to have a somewhat kinder and more thoughtful approach to reading and responding to posts, but maybe I am just cranky today.
 
She wasn''t requesting a Tiffany ring at the outset. He just took her there to let her see settings and she was overcome with the Tiffany magic! But that''ll wear off. You''d have to go down to a very tiny princess stone to get it there. I think she''ll be happier with the AGS0 princess 1 ct.
 
Date: 9/10/2007 7:36:19 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
She wasn't requesting a Tiffany ring at the outset. He just took her there to let her see settings and she was overcome with the Tiffany magic! But that'll wear off. You'd have to go down to a very tiny princess stone to get it there. I think she'll be happier with the AGS0 princess 1 ct.
I completely agree w/the wise DS
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I rather have a bigger stone then a brand name both equal quality; why not the best bang for the buck!!!
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Date: 9/10/2007 1:54:21 PM
Author: surgeon
Well, she has said that it doesn't have to be from Tiffany's. In fact, after she saw my obvious disappointment when she expressed her joy for Tiffany's (I'm sorry! I couldn't help it! I alread have the stone and I wanted it to be perfect) she tried to make it clear that she would be happy with absolutely anything that I bought, even if it was from Costco. Not to knock on anyone who has a ring from Costco, though.
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Yesterday, at Tiffany's, she said, 'I would even be happy if it wasn't a one carat.' Later that night, I asked, 'I thought you always wanted a one carat.' After thinking about it, she said, 'yeah, I really do want a one carat.' Well, with those prices from Tiffany's, that just isn't possible. Thanks for all the help guys. I'd like to make her happy, but there are so many factors and I just have to choose the ones that matter the most. I think just having the ring from Tiffany's will wear off. But my studying, and shopping, and trying really hard to find the perfect ring will untimately last forever. She will appreciate it more because it's something I made...so to speak. Or, at least I hope.
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Your wife wants to say and do the right thing. She wants a pretty diamond ring as well. It could be a small one from Tiffany's, or a one carat from ACA. She got led astray when you went to Tiffany's and now she doesn't know what is going on. I'd agree with you that she won't want to break the bank, either.

I'm in the school that says "let's pick it out together", instead of the "try to read my mind", because I want to have a say in what I wear, and this is a very expensive purchase. I think you are doing great here, given the constraints she has laid out. Just pick a nice setting from WF, since that is where the diamond came from. If she chooses not to be part of that selection process, then that is her choice.

I think you PS guys are heros, trying to figure out what your ladies will like. After 32 years, my hubby still quakes in fear at the thought of picking me a piece of jewelry. I try to make us both happy and pick it out myself.
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Date: 9/10/2007 8:38:14 PM
Author: Fly Girl
Date: 9/10/2007 1:54:21 PM

Author: surgeon

Well, she has said that it doesn''t have to be from Tiffany''s. In fact, after she saw my obvious disappointment when she expressed her joy for Tiffany''s (I''m sorry! I couldn''t help it! I alread have the stone and I wanted it to be perfect) she tried to make it clear that she would be happy with absolutely anything that I bought, even if it was from Costco. Not to knock on anyone who has a ring from Costco, though.
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Yesterday, at Tiffany''s, she said, ''I would even be happy if it wasn''t a one carat.'' Later that night, I asked, ''I thought you always wanted a one carat.'' After thinking about it, she said, ''yeah, I really do want a one carat.'' Well, with those prices from Tiffany''s, that just isn''t possible. Thanks for all the help guys. I''d like to make her happy, but there are so many factors and I just have to choose the ones that matter the most. I think just having the ring from Tiffany''s will wear off. But my studying, and shopping, and trying really hard to find the perfect ring will untimately last forever. She will appreciate it more because it''s something I made...so to speak. Or, at least I hope.
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Your wife wants to say and do the right thing. She wants a pretty diamond ring as well. It could be a small one from Tiffany''s, or a one carat from ACA. She got led astray when you went to Tiffany''s and now she doesn''t know what is going on. I''d agree with you that she won''t want to break the bank, either.


I''m in the school that says ''let''s pick it out together'', instead of the ''try to read my mind'', because I want to have a say in what I wear, and this is a very expensive purchase. I think you are doing great here, given the constraints she has laid out. Just pick a nice setting from WF, since that is where the diamond came from. If she chooses not to be part of that selection process, then that is her choice.


I think you PS guys are heros, trying to figure out what your ladies will like. After 32 years, my hubby still quakes in fear at the thought of picking me a piece of jewelry. I try to make us both happy and pick it out myself.
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Ahhh, flygirl.... I bow in your general direction. I think you have summed up my position and philosophy entirely, and that of my dh''s.

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Date: 9/10/2007 1:54:21 PM
Author: surgeon
Well, she has said that it doesn''t have to be from Tiffany''s. In fact, after she saw my obvious disappointment when she expressed her joy for Tiffany''s (I''m sorry! I couldn''t help it! I alread have the stone and I wanted it to be perfect) she tried to make it clear that she would be happy with absolutely anything that I bought, even if it was from Costco. Not to knock on anyone who has a ring from Costco, though.
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Well, money is a concern so I decided to call Tiffany''s and explain my predicament and I got some prices on a few stones. I told them I wanted to stay in the $8000 range. These stones are priced to be set in the solitaire Tiffany setting. I hope it''s okay to put prices on here.


A. 1.02 carat, I VVS2 ---$9800

B. 1.02 carat, H VS2 ----$9750

C. .97 carat, G VS1 -----$9750

D. .91 carat, H VS1 -----$8550


And for the hell of it, I asked how much a stone would cost mounted with the specs of the stone I already have:


E. 1.01 carat, G VS1 ----$11,800


OUCH!!!
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And this is with no regard to cut quality.


Yesterday, at Tiffany''s, she said, ''I would even be happy if it wasn''t a one carat.'' Later that night, I asked, ''I thought you always wanted a one carat.'' After thinking about it, she said, ''yeah, I really do want a one carat.'' Well, with those prices from Tiffany''s, that just isn''t possible. Thanks for all the help guys. I''d like to make her happy, but there are so many factors and I just have to choose the ones that matter the most. I think just having the ring from Tiffany''s will wear off. But my studying, and shopping, and trying really hard to find the perfect ring will untimately last forever. She will appreciate it more because it''s something I made...so to speak. Or, at least I hope.
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Just by the by... the .97 G VS1 from Tiffs will probably be indistinguishable from your 1.01 G VS1 from WF once set. In size at any rate.

a
 
Date: 9/10/2007 11:34:04 PM
Author: angeline


Just by the by... the .97 G VS1 from Tiffs will probably be indistinguishable from your 1.01 G VS1 from WF once set. In size at any rate.

a
Aha - but it does not pass muster or win a fish

It is not a ONE CARROT ROCK

I have enjoyed
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ing this thread. There have been so many wonderful viewpoints and the whole thing has been thoughtful with everyone well behaved and polite.
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to all of you for your opinions and helpful contributions.
 
Date: 9/11/2007 2:32:41 AM
Author: Garry H (Cut Nut)
Aha - but it does not pass muster or win a fish

It is not a ONE CARROT ROCK

I have enjoyed
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ing this thread. There have been so many wonderful viewpoints and the whole thing has been thoughtful with everyone well behaved and polite.
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to all of you for your opinions and helpful contributions.
Yes, it had real potential for going off the deep end, didn''t it?
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I''m glad it didn''t too.
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Date: 9/11/2007 7:06:20 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 9/11/2007 2:32:41 AM
Author: Garry H (Cut Nut)
Aha - but it does not pass muster or win a fish

It is not a ONE CARROT ROCK

I have enjoyed
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ing this thread. There have been so many wonderful viewpoints and the whole thing has been thoughtful with everyone well behaved and polite.
36.gif
36.gif
36.gif
to all of you for your opinions and helpful contributions.
Yes, it had real potential for going off the deep end, didn''t it?
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I''m glad it didn''t too.
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Thritto that, it was a good thread.
 
the obvious ways in which you care about your wife''s feelings show what a kind and considerate husband you (probably) are in your everyday life with her. THAT is the real prize-she is blessed. when you thoughtfully share your journey to her about finding the "perfect" diamond for her, she will be so much more touched by all of your efforts than the five seconds it takes to open a little blue box.
can''t wait to read about her reaction. sounds like you have a good thing
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Date: 9/10/2007 11:31:33 AM
Author: angeline
I don''t know if I''ve got in my reply before the return period but I have to go against the tide here.... if she is SO taken with the name Tiffany then do you really want ot have to work so hard to convince her to like your ring?

I don''t get it, everyone here for engagement rings always says ''Listen to your gf, get what SHE wants'' even if it is from Tiffs. Why is this so different?

By all means try the education path, but if she doesn''t want to know anything about the ring, that might not work. It might really hurt, but I would return it, try the education path and then if it works, get her another ACA.

No matter how unreasonable it is to us, or hard to understand, the emotion she associates with the name might outweigh all the extra beauty and size of the ACA. Remember she won''t have them side-by-side to see how much nicer the WF stone is.

Just my .02c Good luck in whatever you do!
Well, surgeon, I kind of agree with Angeline here. If that is what she really really wants...Tiffany...well, then return the ring, try the education path and if it doesn''t work, get a ring from Tiffany. The last thing you want is her to feel, "it''s a pretty ring...if only........." I''ve seen a few posts here from fiancees who have some regret about their ring.

Not that there should be anything at all to regret about your stone, anything. But, the emotion associated with a Tiffany engagement ring, for some people, should be enough. It is what it is. After all, an engagement ring is ONE thing where a heart''s desire should trump all "useful arguments" in my opinion. Now personally, I think it would be great to keep the Whiteflash ring and get the wedding band from Tiffany. I very nearly bought a Tiffany band but instead Whiteflash is making my "Tiffany" band for a cost savings of $3,000. Still, I had a friend who said, "just get the Tiffany band. For some reason they just fit better." Well, time will tell, my band arrives tomorrow, but I really don''t think I regret not spending an extra $3k. I''m getting 7 ACA h & a F color, vs stones made in a band to resemble the Tiffany band. BUT, you could get a lovely Tiffany band to complement your engagement ring and then she''d have the best of both worlds: a bigger, spectacular Princess cut er with specs above reproach, and a lovely Tiffany wedding ring.

Let us know what you decide. You gotta make her happy
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Jeannie, it seems Surgeon has ascertained that it was the Tiffany name rather than the actual rings which his wife was interested in and he has decided to keep his Princess ACA
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Date: 9/11/2007 9:07:38 AM
Author: Lorelei
Jeannie, it seems Surgeon has ascertained that it was the Tiffany name rather than the actual rings which his wife was interested in and he has decided to keep his Princess ACA
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I see that now, after scrolling through three pages when I thought there was only one! (I''m really tired this morning.)

And after reading his and all the other replies I think he''s right to keep the 1 ct. She''ll be loving the one carat and forget all about the "smaller" Tiffany ring. And, aren''t they already married? I guess he doesn''t need a wedding ring either (I just got myself a new one and I''ll always think of it as my Tiffany ring from Whiteflash, quite happily
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Surgeon, when does she get this ring?
 
Surgeon--I just want to give you kudos for taking so much care in choosing your future fiancee''s ring. It speaks worlds of how much you care about her, and how important this is to you.

And I know we''ve had this discussion many times before, but the major distinction (for me, at least) between Tiffany and some other high-end jewelers is that Tiffany does not make custom rings (to my knowledge, at least, and according to the last salesperson with whom I spoke)--in fact they care very much about all of their rings looking exactly the same so they can be identified as a Tiffany style. So, if your GF would like a unique ring, Tiffany is not the place to get one, as it will look exactly like every other Tiffany ring of that style.

Don''t get me wrong, I fell head over heals for the Novo, but when it came down to basics, I wanted a ring that was NOT a stock design, so I went with a custom piece. It''s all about personal preference, and I''m sure your future fiancee will love the ring you present to her when you propose, especially after all of the care you''ve put into creating it.

My other pieces, however, are more than welcome to come in a little blue box! All of my basic everyday jewelry is Tiffany and I adore every single piece!
 
actually, I got the impression she fell for the rings not the name. Demonstrated by the fact that she had her breathe taken away after seeing the ring. That said, I go back to the aforementioned opinion--A pretty diamond is a pretty diamond is a pretty diamond. It being a princess cut and she not appearing to be hung up on the brand so much, I would stick with what you got.

If she wanted a RB, or a legacy, or a novo. I might think differently, but you don''t really associate princess'' with Tiffs. Hope she loves it.
 
Well, I want to thank everyone for their kinds words. This really is important to me. It means a lot to me for her to be happy with this ring...after all, she will be wearing it for a looooooooong time.
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And, to hear your kind words makes losing sleep over finding the perfect ring worth it.

shminbabe, she will get the ring on October 9th, on vacation, on the beach during sunset.

Just to add, I have good news. We decided to continue our shopping last night and she ''fell in love'' with a specific Scott Kay setting. Now, it''s about $1000 outside of the budget so..........I''m just going to have to be creative financially for the next year or so.
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This setting is definitely the one and I will be sure to post pics when we get back from vacation. You have all been more than helpful in this, and every other issue or question I''ve had about my diamond purchase. Thank you so much.....honestly.
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Surgeon, I''m glad to hear you stuck with the ACA. I''ll be honest...I was a big ole Tiff''s girl in my pre-PS life. I still love their silver jewelry. But after seeing what can be bought for the same amount of money elsewhere, and the standards that other stores hold, I''d be upset if I felt my BF overspent. A lot of women are wowed by Tiff''s because it''s one of the few stores they know means "quality". It''s very possible she was so dazzled in part by the diamonds, in part by the name, and largely because of the assumptions that Tiffs is one of the best. Their rings sparkle, and it''s honestly pretty rare in the world outside PS for women to have ever seen rings that perform like a ring from Tiffs. They just haven''t met an ACA.
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Let her see her ring, let her watch it sparkle and shine and watch the light dance across it and I''m 99% positive that she''ll love it for it''s beauty. You got an amazing stone. She''ll notice, and love it. And she''ll love that you went through the effort to get her a truly beautiful, eye-catching, breath-taking stone.
 
Dear Surgeon,
Some un solicited advice:

Please do not propose in a sunset until you have seen how your diamond looks in a sunset.
Most look pretty bad.
If you do, then make sure you DO shade the stone from direct sunlight as strange as this may seem. Direct and intense lights are bad for diamonds – again – check it out.

Consider in the hammock on a bright (ideally totally light cloud covered midday) day under a dense cover of foliage that allows about 1,000 small amounts of light through (about 50-80% dark when you look up with lots of moving leaves providing constantly moving spotlights).

I have heard Costco is pretty good for diamonds too - lots of very bright lights a long way from the stone. But I do not think it is very romantic inside Costco?
Again, experiment.
 
Gary, thanks so much for the advice. I will definitely try that........the testing at sunset thing, not the Costco thing.
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Date: 9/12/2007 1:31:26 AM
Author: Garry H (Cut Nut)
Dear Surgeon,

Some un solicited advice:


Please do not propose in a sunset until you have seen how your diamond looks in a sunset.

Most look pretty bad.

If you do, then make sure you DO shade the stone from direct sunlight as strange as this may seem. Direct and intense lights are bad for diamonds – again – check it out.


Consider in the hammock on a bright (ideally totally light cloud covered midday) day under a dense cover of foliage that allows about 1,000 small amounts of light through (about 50-80% dark when you look up with lots of moving leaves providing constantly moving spotlights).


I have heard Costco is pretty good for diamonds too - lots of very bright lights a long way from the stone. But I do not think it is very romantic inside Costco?

Again, experiment.



I would have to agree that it would look best under light foliage. and while I have never analyzed princesses cuts at various times of day I would have to say that my round has more scintillation and fire in direct sunlight at sunset than it does in the shadow of my body any time of the day. so gary if it came down to proposing on a beach with no foliage would you not recommend having it directed towards the sun just due to lack of other alternatives?

one thing you might consider would be to go test out various flashlights and find one that makes the diamond perform similarly to the Tiffany diamonds instore. Tell her you you are bringing it with you incase you stay on the beach after the sun goes down, Then after you propose and she is looking at it you could hold it up behind her back--while holding her of course--and shine it on the diamond for her to see after the proposal?

and I wouldnt really call costcos the best of the best, I find that many high quality hotels have halogen lighting lining their escalators. find a good enclosed escalator (making it dim except for the pinpoint light sources of the small halogen bulbs)with marble on the walls that act like mirrors and lines of halogen small pinpoint light sources. Then just hop on for the ride. wow. Bright white, spakrling like never before and flashes enough to blind you, and then reflecting around the small enclosed space. Talk about impressive.
 
I agree with Gary. You want you stone to look the best...Costco or Sam''s is the place to be. I would choose the paper isle. You will have built in padding when she hugs (tackles) you and tissue for tears.

But I must say I am a tad MIFFED at the board. This poor guy has planned everything down to the last details and you guys have thrown in a specific window of time in relation to the position of the sun.

Now the poor chap has to consult as weather report or astronomer and choreograph all things with the big disco ball that hangs in the sky!! I realize he said he needed her to FALL in love with it at first glance...but I think we should support him by telling him she is going to be so surprised and the tears in her eyes are going to probably block anything that allows her to the science in that cut of that magnificent stone.

She isn''t going to say no because she doesn''t see enough scintillation...at that exact moment...honest. Lets give her some credit that YOU are the treasure...not this "TOKEN". And yes, as lovely as it is...it is a token. The moments that follow...the following morning...the week after next...trust me she will find more and more reasons and places that her ring sparkles...and when she finally goes to Sam''s or Costco...she never going to want to leave the store!!!

Now knock it off with the orchestration and consultation of "ASSUME THE CORRECT POSITION!!!"
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DKS-tisk tisk tisk
 
Date: 9/12/2007 10:47:21 AM
Author: door knob solitaire
Now knock it off with the orchestration and consultation of ''ASSUME THE CORRECT POSITION!!!''
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DKS-tisk tisk tisk
I agree.

I only voted for sunset cuz it''s darn romantic, and stated such.
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But I agree the actual lighting is not gonna matter. She''s going to see this thing in all lighting anyway, and love it, regardless of which lighting environment she sees it in first.
 
Well, in their defense, I DID ask when the best time during sunset would be to present the ring. I, in no way, look at it as them hounding me. If it''s raining that day, it''s raining. I''ll just have to give it to her indoors. No biggie. She IS getting it the first night we''re on vacation. If the weather doesn''t cooperate, there''s nothing I can do about that. After worrying about all the smallest little details during this purchase, I absolutely refuse to worry about the things that I have no control over. And, you''re right, she''ll have plenty of time to see the ring in various lighting conditions. This extra stuff is just icing on the cake. I appreciate the support.
 
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