Home I refuse to deliver this baby...

[oobiecoo]

if I can''t do it where I wanted to all along!

I just found out that I can''t use the birthing center that we had chosen because they have too many mom''s for an August birth already. We toured a couple of months ago and they knew that we wouldn''t be able to begin our prenatal visits there until AFTER we moved which was this past week. But now they are full and I have to go somewhere else. The only other birthing center is very small(only 2 midwives) and I don''t feel comfortable going to a practice that small. They recommended a home birth with a midwife but that doesn''t appeal to me either. They also recommended an OBGYN that has nurse midwives and she is more open to a natural birth but I''d still have to go to a hospital (which I really DIDN''T want to do) and they don''t have a water birth option or anything like that. Ugh!

Sorry for the rant. I''m so frustrated and don''t know what to do. I''m supposed to have another prenatal visit next week and as of now, I have nowhere to go! I know its partially my fault for not just signing up ahead of time and driving an hour to my appointments before we moved but still... I talked to them on the phone several times recently and no one said anything about them being full.

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of any other options in Austin??

 

[somethingshiny]

I don''t have any suggestions about your area but I''m sorry you can''t deliver where you want.

I was 6 weeks from delivery when my ins dropped my dr/hospital so I had to find a new dr and hospital. It sucks.

 

[asscherisme]

Date: 4/20/2010 11:25:07 AM
Author:oobiecoo
if I can''t do it where I wanted to all along!

I just found out that I can''t use the birthing center that we had chosen because they have too many mom''s for an August birth already. We toured a couple of months ago and they knew that we wouldn''t be able to begin our prenatal visits there until AFTER we moved which was this past week. But now they are full and I have to go somewhere else. The only other birthing center is very small(only 2 midwives) and I don''t feel comfortable going to a practice that small. They recommended a home birth with a midwife but that doesn''t appeal to me either. They also recommended an OBGYN that has nurse midwives and she is more open to a natural birth but I''d still have to go to a hospital (which I really DIDN''T want to do) and they don''t have a water birth option or anything like that. Ugh!

Sorry for the rant. I''m so frustrated and don''t know what to do. I''m supposed to have another prenatal visit next week and as of now, I have nowhere to go! I know its partially my fault for not just signing up ahead of time and driving an hour to my appointments before we moved but still... I talked to them on the phone several times recently and no one said anything about them being full.

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of any other options in Austin??

Sorry I don''t know Austin but I feel for you. When I was pregnant with my 2nd child my docor was awesome. Then 2 weeks before delivery she was in an accident and went on disablity and a stranger delivered my baby! It ended up going perfectly though and he doctor was super nice.

 

[jewelz617]

I''m sorry you can''t go where you want. Just be open to the idea of not doing a water birth, especially if this is your first baby. My doctor was stuck in an emergency c-section when I was ready to deliver and couldn''t make it. At that point it didn''t matter and I didn''t care, I just wanted to focus on pushing. Big Bird could have been my doctor and I wouldn''t have noticed.

I know the "birth experience" seems like a big priority right now, but a hospital birth can still be all natural if that''s what you want. And it doesn''t really go to plan anyway, that baby is coming either way so just try to adapt and overcome. If you find yourself screaming for an epidural they can accommodate you, and if something happens in mid-labor they won''t have to transfer you to the hospital if the baby is in distress.

This isn''t meant to scare you, just to reassure you that either option can be totally fine.

 

[taovandel]

You should go with the smaller practice...It''s probably the closest to what you want, right? Plus since you will be switching mid pregnancy--a smaller practice might be nice to get that one on one attention.



Also, for what it''s worth...I''ve know a lot of people or have heard from a lot of people who went in really set in their minds and hearts with what they wanted as far as a birthplan/birth experience and the exact opposite happened and they hated/regretted every single moment of their delivery. You gotta go with the punches as sometimes our little ones have a mind of their own on how they are going to enter this world. I just don''t want you to go in thinking that you have the perfect place to give birth and you are going to deliver vaginally with no problems.

 

[Mara]

ditto/thritto the birth experience and open mind. most of the stories i have heard of women having births they were unhappy with had to do with so many expectations on what they absolutely KNEW they wanted or didn't want that if something deviated from that, it ended up being very dramatic and translating into a bad experience. and trust me even if you don't think you have expectations, you do. i thought i didn't but when i went in to find that after a few hours of excruciating back labor i was only 1.5cm and they wanted me on pitocin because my water was broken, i almost cried. i was disappointed in my body for not doing it's 'job'...but my husband reminded me that i didn't want to have expectations and that what mattered was just getting the baby out and having everyone be healthy. he was totally right of course, and in the end the whole thing went fine.

sorry about the center not being available but try to keep an open mind. i know some people don't want to be in hospitals but hospitals are not all the same, you might be surprised.

this might sound weird but can you go on a waiting list or something for the birth center so if a space opens you can take it?

also re: water birth, i remember seeing a video on this and thinking it looked great for the baby, aka being expelled into a water environment is less jarring...but when i asked my OB about it out of curiousity she said that it actually was one of the least sanitary ways of delivery, that it was hard to keep bacteria from the pool and water. anyway i never looked into it but since you mentioned it, i figured i'd mention it.

lastly... my hospital is HMO and my OB did not deliver my baby and i knew this from the first trimester. quite frankly at that moment in time i didn't even care who delivered me. and the nurses do most of the work anyway for you, my nurse even got us started on pushing and Dr only came in when head was visible and worked from there on out. so it's about the 'whole' rather than parts.

 

[MustangGal]

I''m sorry!

My hospital delivery expience wasn''t that bad, but I also ditto the others in not getting too caught up in what you think you want for a birthing experience. I ended up being induced and had a c-section at the end, not what I wanted at all! But I got a beautiful baby out of it and now, a year later, mommy amnesia is setting in and it''s not as big of a deal as I thought it would be.

Mara brought up the sanitary issues with a water birth. I was getting the start of some kind of infection with a normal birth (fever over 100 at the end of labor), so I can imagine there''s even more critters swimming around in the water...

 

[snlee]

oobiecoo, I''m sorry you are going through this and you can''t deliver where you want to. I just wanted to ditto what others have said about going into L&D with an open mind. Anything can happen so you need to be flexible. It doesn''t always go as planned. You just never know how your L&D will go.

 

[sbde]

Date: 4/20/2010 1:48:08 PM
Author: snlee
oobiecoo, I''m sorry you are going through this and you can''t deliver where you want to. I just wanted to ditto what others have said about going into L&D with an open mind. Anything can happen so you need to be flexible. It doesn''t always go as planned. You just never know how your L&D will go.

+1

i really must emphasize how important it is to be open to whatever may come at the time of delivery. the less expectations you have going in, the less disappointment and/or stress you''ll have if things don''t go as planned. i hope you have a safe and easy delivery!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 4/20/2010 2:00:04 PM
Author: sbde

Date: 4/20/2010 1:48:08 PM

Author: snlee

oobiecoo, I''m sorry you are going through this and you can''t deliver where you want to. I just wanted to ditto what others have said about going into L&D with an open mind. Anything can happen so you need to be flexible. It doesn''t always go as planned. You just never know how your L&D will go.

+1


i really must emphasize how important it is to be open to whatever may come at the time of delivery. the less expectations you have going in, the less disappointment and/or stress you''ll have if things don''t go as planned. i hope you have a safe and easy delivery!

I completely agree. In that case nothing seems to go planned in motherhood either. Being flexible really helps in all aspects of life. It is ok to be disappointed but time to think of plan B (and maybe plan C). It WILL be okay!

 

[Pandora II]

Another one saying keep options open. The doctors and midwives I saw after the birth said they were very suprised I didn''t end up with PTSD and it was probably down to having no expectations or even a birth plan.

For me the important things were:

- Will I have someone assigned to me who will be there 24/7 rather than sharing a midwife with 6 other women (does happen in the UK - but my hospital was 1-to-1 24/7).

- How many anaesthetists on duty and were they 24/7.

- Did they have mobile epidurals so you could walk around rather than being stuck on a bed.

- Were they low intervention and pro-natural birth yet on the ball if things went wrong.

- What was the protocol with the baby after delivery - I wanted to have her delivered and passed straight to me as soon as they had done the cord bloods (if I hadn''t needed cord bloods doing I would have asked for her to be delivered and passed to me immediately and Apgars done whilst in my arms).


Everything I asked for was there and more. Even when I was in ICU and stuck full of tubes and electrodes Daisy barely left my arms - except when the OBs wanted the chance of a cuddle with her!

 

[swimmer]

Oobie, have you thought about a doula? There seem to be quite a few in the Austin area: http://www.dona.org/

"The doula accompanies the woman in labor, provides emotional and physical support, suggests comfort measures, and provides support and suggestions for the partner. Whenever possible, the doula provides pre- and post-partum emotional support, including explanation and discussion of practices and procedures, and assistance in acquiring the knowledge necessary to make informed decisions about her care. Additionally, as doulas do not “prescribe” treatment, any suggestions or information provided within the role of the doula must be done with the proviso that the doula advise her client to check with her primary care provider before using any application."

It just seems like a possible in-between to make a hospital birth less procedural and more holistic. What is it about the birth center that you really wanted? If you really can''t get in there, what aspects of that style delivery can you replicate elsewhere...cause that baby is coming!

I also really didn''t want to deliver in a hospital, but was high risk so had to go with an ob. However, our doula will be with us starting when things get going at home and traveling with us to the hospital where she will stay with us for the entire process. We have met with her, practiced labor positions, worked on stretching routines, she helped DH with his massage techniques; we really feel more comfortable knowing that she is part of the process and our OB practice suggests having a doula. I know other women on here have used doulas, perhaps they will chime in.

 

[HappyNewLife]

I moved to Austin (from CA) at 34w pregnant and Dr. Yium from Women''s Partners in Health totally saved me by taking me in. She works via Seton downtown, so it''s not a natural birthing place, but maybe you could call them if you run out of options. I really loved Dr. Yium (first name Vanessa)-- she is super awesome.

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I''ve worked with midwives that worked with docs in hospitals, and they were very dedicated to natural birth if that''s what the mom wanted, and supporting the ideals of an intimate, holistic birth experience. True, the rooms are still hospital rooms and don''t offer all the things a birthing center would, but it also means you have quick access to extra hands and people in emergency situations.

And I agree that it''s best not to be too attached to a specific birth plan since it sounds like you''re still early on in pregnancy, and it can be a random process. You might have twins, have a very large baby or small pelvis, or any one of many scenarios that would make a birthing center/home birth less ideal. Like the ladies have said, anything can happen!

Whatever happens, I hope you enjoy the experience and have a wonderfully healthy and lovely baby!

 

[PumpkinPie]

I''m sorry you''re disappointed oobiecoo

It sounds like a frustrating development for you

 

[PumpkinPie]

(although I''m not a mom, from what I hear, you will deliver the baby regardless

- I loved your subject for this thread

)

 

[ChargerGrrl]

I'm sorry to hear about this, oobiecoo.

But if there's a key takeaway that I can share from our birthing class (currently more than halfway through) it's that you must be flexible and be prepared for ANYTHING. Best laid plans are great (and I'm a total "researcher"), but at the end of the day, baby will arrive on their terms!

 

[Jas12]

If a natural birth is important to you i''d go with the smaller practice. If you go to the hospital you will certainly be less likely to deliver without interventions.

It''s sucky that you can''t use the clinic you have, but you are lucky to have some options. In my small city there is clinic so it''s either a hospital with shockingly high intervention rates and infection rates or a home birth. I would like the middle ground, but since it doesn''t exist, i am going for the home birth route. My hospital birth 2 years ago was just waaaay too clinical for my liking & i had an OB i''d never met deliver my baby.
Anyway-enuf about me, best of luck deciding. It''s tough. More clinics need to become available. I think they are a great approach to birthing ....modern medical amenities but away from sickness and disease that is a hospital

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 4/20/2010 11:25:07 AM
Author:oobiecoo
if I can't do it where I wanted to all along!

I just found out that I can't use the birthing center that we had chosen because they have too many mom's for an August birth already. We toured a couple of months ago and they knew that we wouldn't be able to begin our prenatal visits there until AFTER we moved which was this past week. But now they are full and I have to go somewhere else. The only other birthing center is very small(only 2 midwives) and I don't feel comfortable going to a practice that small. They recommended a home birth with a midwife but that doesn't appeal to me either. They also recommended an OBGYN that has nurse midwives and she is more open to a natural birth but I'd still have to go to a hospital (which I really DIDN'T want to do) and they don't have a water birth option or anything like that. Ugh!

Sorry for the rant. I'm so frustrated and don't know what to do. I'm supposed to have another prenatal visit next week and as of now, I have nowhere to go! I know its partially my fault for not just signing up ahead of time and driving an hour to my appointments before we moved but still... I talked to them on the phone several times recently and no one said anything about them being full.

Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of any other options in Austin??

This is what I did and it ended up for the best.

The hospital did have a birthing tub but it had to be filled up after I was in it and it hurt too bad to stay in it.

One reason I would opt for a midwife in a hospital is because if something goes wrong, a dr. can be called in. Also, what if you decide once you're in labor that you do want an epi? (FWIW, I pushed for three hours while with my midwife and it was determined I'd need a c/s so things worked out for the better! Also, I wrote out a birth plan and insisted on a natural birth but once in there demanded an epi. lol)

 

[oobiecoo]

Sooo... I had a consultation appointment today with the doctor/midwife group who deliver at a local hospital. I cried and begged to get that appointment because they''re were all booked until mid May and I''m technically supposed to have my next pre-natal appointment NEXT WEEK and really don''t want to be doctor-less and miss a whole appointment! We''re definitely going to be using this group! It sounds like they have the best of both worlds... lots of hands on help during labor by the midwives(they don''t just rush in to catch the baby then leave), I can birth any way I want as long as I''m on/holding onto the bed, etc. while still having the benefit of epis, c-sections, etc if they are absolutely needed. I started crying while sitting there in the room talking to the midwife because what she described sounds perfect to me. I think this will be pretty close to what I had wanted and envisioned all along! Maybe this whole ordeal with the birthing center was just a blessing in disguise

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 4/23/2010 1:28:04 AM
Author: oobiecoo
Sooo... I had a consultation appointment today with the doctor/midwife group who deliver at a local hospital. I cried and begged to get that appointment because they''re were all booked until mid May and I''m technically supposed to have my next pre-natal appointment NEXT WEEK and really don''t want to be doctor-less and miss a whole appointment! We''re definitely going to be using this group! It sounds like they have the best of both worlds... lots of hands on help during labor by the midwives(they don''t just rush in to catch the baby then leave), I can birth any way I want as long as I''m on/holding onto the bed, etc. while still having the benefit of epis, c-sections, etc if they are absolutely needed. I started crying while sitting there in the room talking to the midwife because what she described sounds perfect to me. I think this will be pretty close to what I had wanted and envisioned all along! Maybe this whole ordeal with the birthing center was just a blessing in disguise

That sounds great - I''m glad you found something that will give you a chance at the birth you''d like (and has back-up in case you do want the epidural or things go awry).

 

[anchor31]

I''m glad to hear you''ve reached a happy conclusion! I was pretty gung-ho about a meds-free birth, but they broke my bag of water because I wasn''t progressing and then the pain was just so bad after an hour I was begging for an epi. I don''t regret it. Wishing you a peaceful delivery!

 

[Sabine]

Oobie, I know this isn''t what you want to hear and it probably won''t register until after birth anyway, but I''ll still say it. While it''s great to have a preference for how you want your LO''s birth to be, you really don''t have a whole lot of control over it, and when the time comes, what is going to happen is going to happen. If you don''t learn to let go and go with it, you might end up really disappointed. I''ve met plenty of moms on another site that are still upset about their births months afterwards, and it really tainted their time with their LO''s.

It stinks that you thought the location was one thing you could control and now you can''t even control that, but it will be ok. The thing to focus on is that you will have a baby to take home with you, no matter how your LO comes into the world.

It''s great to have a plan, and there are people whose births work out exactly how they want them to, but I feel so sad for the women who get so upset when things don''t go as planned that they let it ruin the experience for them.