I Quit My Job - What Now?

[shihtzulover]

I'm sorry that this is so long...

I quit my job yesterday, and although I'm so relieved, I'm also scared to death.

I did so well in school, stressing over everything and studying for tests like crazy. I graduated with an impressive GPA, and won some scholarships. When I started my first job, though, I realized that I may have made a big mistake. It was just not something that I loved, so after seven months, I decided to try a new job in the field. That was an even bigger mistake.

I worked there for five months, and I worked hard to get my department into shape. My original boss was great, and my coworkers were so nice. I put in lots of extra hours, dealt with doctors treating me like crap, and was anxious to do a great job.

After being there for a little over two months, my boss's superior came in and fired him (for not making enough money for the company, since we weren't meeting budget). There was no warning, even though we kind of guessed that it was coming (based on conversations that had been overheard between other people, but my boss had no idea). It was right after a major accomplishment for our facility, and he never even got the chance to congratulate us. They literally came in and told him to get out, and that he could get his belongings later.

My job was definitely not my dream job before all of this - it wasn't what I had envisioned, and I didn't find it to be particularly interesting. I thought I could do it just fine, but I would never feel like it was my calling in life. Anyway, after this, things became horrible. The situation was a nightmare, and my coworkers began looking for new jobs.

I never missed a day of work, even when I felt sick. One day, we had an ice storm, and we were under a state of emergency. The roads were solid ice, and I have been in a bad car accident in ice the year before, and on my way home the night before (before the majority of precipitaton), my car was already sliding down a hill. I decided to stay home, because it was truly unsafe - the city officials were telling everyone to stay off the roads if possible. I did attempt to work from home a bit, calling around to get some things done with other companies, but due to the weather, no one was in. Still, I spent a few hours working from home, just making sure that I was doing my best.

The next day, my coworkers and I (all in administration, with no training and not involved in patient care at all) were all disciplined for not going in. The interim CEO took us into her office one by one and reprimanded us individually, and her tone was just disgusting. She talked to me like I had done something wrong, and she scolded me like I was a child. I explained my side to her (that I had been in a bad car accident in better conditions than that), and she said that she wouldn't ever ask me to do something that was unsafe (huh?), and that she couldn't force me if I had some big phobia of the snow (what?), but that I was EXPECTED to be there - the tone was so degrading, and I felt like I was being talked to like she was the principal, and I was the bad student who had done something truly wrong. A coworker asked whether or not all of her extra hours when the company first started counted for nothing, and the reply from the interim CEO was that she was only concerned with what had happened since she had been there. Another coworker explained that her husband thought it was unsafe for her to drive, too, and the interim CEO's response? "Do I employ your husband?" It was sooo degrading, and it disgusted me that a company that I had worked so hard for would treat me like this. I looked at corporate policy, and it stated that we should be DISCOURAGED from going to work during states of emergency, and that certain plans should have been put into place (which never were).

I stayed, but we all continued to be miserable, and I knew that my coworkers would feel obligated to go in if there was another ice storm. It made me especially angry because I know that one girl was told that since she was still in her probationary period, she would be fired if it happened again. She never missed any other days, and she worked extra hours every single day - she rarely even went to lunch, because she had so much work to do.

I guess the interim CEO was upset that I had questioned her the most or something, because she started treating me very badly. She would always talk down to me and try to make me look like an idiot when I talked to her. I asked her how to do something twice, since I had never done it and the process was a bit difficult to understand, and her response was "haven't we already discussed this?". It was just very demeaning, and the way that she acted made me feel dumb.

Her door was usually shut, and she was usually unavailable (she was usually at her own hospital), When I did knock (way back when she first started), she acted busy and said that she was involved in a conversation right now, etc. I asked her via email about scheduling a certain meetingl (since it was the best way to contact her), and she said that we would talk about it the next week. Well, she barely came in the next week, and I was scrambling to try to keep my head above water in my department. I went by her office a few times, but the door was closed, and I didn't dare make the mistake of knocking again. I left her a voice mail message a few days ago, explaining that I needed to ask her a few questions, and she never called back. I asked her for something through email, and never received a response.

A new CEO just started last week, and the interim CEO was training her. All of the sudden, the interim CEO brings up this meeting to the new CEO. The new CEO brought me into her office, so I talked with her about the meeting - she said we would discuss it with the interim CEO the next day. I went back to my office and looked at our divisional vice president's calendar (he had to attend the meeting), and noticed that it was mostly full. I emailed both the interim CEO and the new CEO, and asked if they wanted me to go ahead and set up the meeting, since it looked like he had very few availabilities. The new CEO's response was that we would talk about it the next day, while the interim CEO never responded.

The next day, it all blew up in my face. They suddenly wanted me to schedule it for the days that were almost full on the previous day. Those days were now full, so we couldn't have the meeting then. I explained that thos days were now full, and all of the sudden, I get an email from the new CEO: "How about waiting until the midnight hour, this really limits our options. Get it done and let me know, thanks." My heart just started racing from being talked to that way after really trying to get the meeting scheduled, and after even warning them the day before. On top of that, I just had so much other work to do that was impossible for one person to do. I just started to cry.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I was already having a bad day, and I wasn't feeling good, but I went in to work just so I wouldn't get into trouble, and so that I could get some things done that needed to be done. I had been getting so sick so much since the interim CEO came in, and I knew that it was the stress. I was also not myself at home, and I know that it was killing my relationship with my fiance.

I did not give notice, but I'm not sure whether or not that would have even mattered - someone gave his notice earlier this week, and they told him to just leave and not come back, even though we really still needed him. I just replied to the sarcastic email with a one-sentence resignation. I know that my old boss will give me a good reference, but I am worried about how this will affect me in the future. I want to get into a totally different field, so I am planning to go to school again (I'm looking at psychology programs right now, because it has always been my passion, but I'm still looking at the different possibilities).

I was really at my breaking point, and I couldn't stand to be treated like that after giving this job and this company my all - I was never late, never left early, never missed work, and struggled to get everything done on time.

What would you have done in my situation? Should I contact corporate HR and tell them how I was teated? I'm not sure that they will care.

Is this likely to hurt me in the future? From what I understand, potential employers who call HR normally just verify dates of employment and the employee's role. I know that not staying in either position for very long isn't good, but since I am going into a different field, I'm hoping that it will just look like it was the wrong field for me.

Thanks so much for reading this!

 

[y2kitty]

Honestly if I was in the US I would try to collect unemployment. In certain situations and states you can quit if your workplace was hostile and collect. They would probably fight you on it though.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Honestly if I was in the US I would try to collect unemployment. In certain situations and states you can quit if your workplace was hostile and collect. They would probably fight you on it though.

Yep, this is the case. Not sure what state you're in but in WA, one of the qualifications/exceptions to the general rules re: qualifying for benefits is: "working in hazardous or inhuman working conditions etc."

Sorry things didn't work out for you!

 

[rangerd]

Wow, what a bad company. Hang in there though, eventually you'll find that place where everything just clicks. I really wouldn't worry about not giving notice, HR can't bad-mouth you for fear of being sued and if they called corporate HR you're are probably a faceless line item anyway if your company has any size to it, so they'd have no axe to grind. If you can use your old boss as a reference, I would.

 

[waterlilly]

Whooo, boy. That's lousy. I actually could "feel" your pain reading that - I know exactly how you felt being spoken to like a child in that instance - been there.

If you are in the position to be unemployed for a bit and not be struggling & your fiance supported you leaving, then good for you - you are lucky.

I guess, technically, maybe you should have gone to HR - BUT I don't think there is really much you can do about bosses that are just plain JERKS. There are now laws in place that protect you from that - I think a while back I remember in NY there was going to be some law passed where employees could file suit if they were treated disrespectfully...something along those lines. Otherwise, unless they were violating your civil rights - sexually harassing you or making potentially threatening comments to you, you pretty much either have to take it or leave.

It can be hard to find employment while you are unemployed though, you know? Employers for whatever reason prefer to look at candidates that are working vs. a great candidate that has no job currently. So, I'd either get enrolled in some classes asap or start applying now before too much time goes by and you are left with a gap in your resume - just say you have decided to leave to pursue a more fulfilling career in X... blah blah blah.

You are correct, when previous jobs are checked it's just to confirm dates of employment. In MA it is illegal to give someone a negative reference - if an employer says bad things about someone - they can actually be sued. At my job we are under strict order to NOT say anything about any employee, we are not allowed to give any sort of reference. All we are allowed to do is direct them to HR and say "it is our companies policy to not give references for any employees so I can not comment further".

You would list a co-worker or supervisor that you got along well with as a reference, you don't have to list one of the jerk bosses by any means.

 

[Tuckins1]

Yikes! What a nightmare! I'm sorry this happened to you. Hopefully you can find a job somewhere that will treat you like a human being!

 

[ksinger]

I'm really sorry to hear of your bad experience. It happens often enough to be a sad litany. I've often said it would be a huge boon to business if (managers/executives especially) people could check their gonads and egos at the door before they entered the building, not to mention the reduction of pure misery amongst employees.

 

[Miss Sparkly]

Honestly if I was in the US I would try to collect unemployment. In certain situations and states you can quit if your workplace was hostile and collect. They would probably fight you on it though.

Unfortunately this probably won't happen. In my state the employee has to be terminated (you quit) and the previous employer has to agree that unemployment benefits fit the case (sounds like they wouldn't). Sounds like you made the best of a terrible situation and for your own health it is good that you left. HR isn't really your friend either. They're there to protect the company and because no viable harassment went on it doesn't seem like you have ground to stand on. If any future employers ask you can just tell them that work environment wasn't the best one for your personality and that is why you decided to move on.

 

[y2kitty]

Honestly if I was in the US I would try to collect unemployment. In certain situations and states you can quit if your workplace was hostile and collect. They would probably fight you on it though.

Unfortunately this probably won't happen. In my state the employee has to be terminated (you quit) and the previous employer has to agree that unemployment benefits fit the case (sounds like they wouldn't). Sounds like you made the best of a terrible situation and for your own health it is good that you left. HR isn't really your friend either. They're there to protect the company and because no viable harassment went on it doesn't seem like you have ground to stand on. If any future employers ask you can just tell them that work environment wasn't the best one for your personality and that is why you decided to move on.

It depends on the state. I know someone who did it (New Jersey) and got unemployment.

 

[shihtzulover]

Thanks so much for the advice and support, everyone! I was just so scared that my entire future was ruined because of this. I truly do feel that the company hurt me emotionally, and that the emotional damage caused physical problems as well. I am definitely really happy to be away from there, but I feel so bad for my coworkers who are still stuck there - I hope that they can get out as soon as possible. I'm also glad that it doesn't seem like this will ruin my job prospects in the future.

 

[y2kitty]

Thanks so much for the advice and support, everyone! I was just so scared that my entire future was ruined because of this. I truly do feel that the company hurt me emotionally, and that the emotional damage caused physical problems as well. I am definitely really happy to be away from there, but I feel so bad for my coworkers who are still stuck there - I hope that they can get out as soon as possible. I'm also glad that it doesn't seem like this will ruin my job prospects in the future.

You did the right thing, no doubt about it.

 

[shihtzulover]

Thanks so much for the advice and support, everyone! I was just so scared that my entire future was ruined because of this. I truly do feel that the company hurt me emotionally, and that the emotional damage caused physical problems as well. I am definitely really happy to be away from there, but I feel so bad for my coworkers who are still stuck there - I hope that they can get out as soon as possible. I'm also glad that it doesn't seem like this will ruin my job prospects in the future.

You did the right thing, no doubt about it.

Thanks - I just hope that my coworkers are all able to find new jobs soon, too, because they had all been so sick lately, too - one had shingles, and others just seemed to have more colds and such.

I live in NC, by the way, but I'm not sure what our laws say about unemployment and inhumane working conditions.

 

[Pandora II]

I don't know what the situation is in the USA, but in the UK if an employer treats an employee like this then you can sue them for work-place bullying and causing stress and depression. Your GP can also sign you off sick for things like that.

My husband was made redundant in October in a similar situation - although it was a girl who worked for him that was making his life a misery. He was at senior director level and the guy above him refused to clarify reporting lines or take a handle on what was going on. This woman did everything possible to provoke my husband - who is unprovokable - and the day he was made redundant we went out to celebrate. He'd been on a 6 month probation period which had finished a week beforehand - so if they hadn't confirmed him in a permanent job he could have been let go without severance. We think that they confirmed him and then offered an extremely generous redundancy package as they knew that I had sued my former employer for sex-discrimination and won.

Anyway, although DH is still looking for a new job, we have never regretted him leaving for a minute. The damage it was doing to his self-esteem and mental and physical health just wasn't worth it. We've since found out that the girl has been fired from several companies for similar behaviour - so I'm sure she'll get her come-uppance! Working for a company that doesn't care about it's employees safety is a big no no for me! I'm glad you're out of there and I'm sure you'll find something much better soon. In the meantime, big hugs!

oH, Both DH and I arranged for references as part of our respective deals, but HR offices have to be extremely careful what they say about you. If you are really worried could you get a friend with a business to apply to them for a reference to see what they actually say about you?

 

[movie zombie]

you did the right thing by leaving. what was happening was on the job bullying which has a very destructive emotional element to it. as you noticed, your relationship with your fiance was being effected. it can undermine confidence in yourself. these are toxic people. life is too short to stay in such a situation.

legally all that HR can do is say dates of employment. you have your old bosses' recommendation...or will have. when asked on an interview why you left it is simple to say the position was not a good fit.

you did well to leave!

MoZo

 

[diamondringlover]

You did the right thing, wow what a nasty company....stress can cause an amazing amount of damage to your body and mind, I have had stress related illness when I was younger do to a job and once I left that job everything health wise got much better....I am currently in a job that is starting it back up, but there is no way out for me...stress is toxic I am glad you got out of the situation before too much damage was done. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

 

[suchende]

Good luck, SL. Try not to worry too much about what people might think about the terms under which you left or how little time you spent at your previous jobs, just start looking for the next gig. Can you contact your old boss and ask him if he can suggest places to apply?

 

[random_thought]

I really REALLY hope you have another job lined up or money to live on. In this economy, it's completely nuts to quit without another means of having something to live on lined up. Regardless of how bad the situation was, it's more important to have food on your table. Sorry to be blunt, but I've been in this situation and learned the hard way.

 

[Pandora II]

I really REALLY hope you have another job lined up or money to live on. In this economy, it's completely nuts to quit without another means of having something to live on lined up. Regardless of how bad the situation was, it's more important to have food on your table. Sorry to be blunt, but I've been in this situation and learned the hard way.

I think it's pretty obvious that that isn't the case and telling someone they're nuts a) when they are being bullied and made ill through it and b) when it's after the event isn't really very kind or helpful.

 

[waterlilly]

I really REALLY hope you have another job lined up or money to live on. In this economy, it's completely nuts to quit without another means of having something to live on lined up. Regardless of how bad the situation was, it's more important to have food on your table. Sorry to be blunt, but I've been in this situation and learned the hard way.

Since that wasn't part of her post at all - she didn't come on here saying "now I can't feed myself, was this the right move?", I don't see this as an issue for her.

"in this economy" is a relative term, there are plenty of industries that are doing just fine...

 

[Gypsy]

You absolutely did the right thing.

Only thing... if it ever happens you are in this situation again. Start making HR complaints about the harrassment and the hostile work environment. If you are in the US you can use those as an excuse for constructive firing (even if you quit) so you can collect unemployment.

Go out, and have a nice dessert or treat of some sort you deserve it.

((HUGS))

 

[packrat]

I'm sorry you experienced all that crap but really glad you left and got away from it! I've had some bully-bosses so I know that horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach. One called me a mentally retarded escapee from the Mental Health and at another job I nicknamed the boss Oscar and his wife Satan. I could've handled Oscar but Satan just made it unbearable.

Hugs to you!

 

[random_thought]

I really REALLY hope you have another job lined up or money to live on. In this economy, it's completely nuts to quit without another means of having something to live on lined up. Regardless of how bad the situation was, it's more important to have food on your table. Sorry to be blunt, but I've been in this situation and learned the hard way.

I think it's pretty obvious that that isn't the case and telling someone they're nuts a) when they are being bullied and made ill through it and b) when it's after the event isn't really very kind or helpful.

I wasn't trying to be mean, just realistic. At my old job I was bullied by my boss too but at the time didn't have anything lined up so I just found other ways to deal with it until I ended up finding something else. I know how hard it can be and simply felt that it should be addressed. To each their own.

 

[shihtzulover]

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words and helpful advice. Luckily, both my fiance and my family totally support my decision, and they are willing to help me out. I am not really concerned from a financial standpoint (sure, that paycheck was nice, but the vast majority of it went into savings anyway, with the exception of sometimes buying something that I really wanted), but I just want to ensure that I made the best decision otherwise. I don't want for this to somehow haunt me later in life, but I truly do believe that I can get a great reference from my old boss.

If I had been able to stick it out, and if I wanted to stay in this field, then the job title would have looked wonderful on my resume. I tried to stay and see what happened, but things just quickly escalated from bad, to worse, to unbelievably horrible.

 

[random_thought]

I'm really happy to hear that shihtzulover! In that case it sounds like you definitely made the right decision

 

[Shoopy]

I really REALLY hope you have another job lined up or money to live on. In this economy, it's completely nuts to quit without another means of having something to live on lined up. Regardless of how bad the situation was, it's more important to have food on your table. Sorry to be blunt, but I've been in this situation and learned the hard way.

I think it's pretty obvious that that isn't the case and telling someone they're nuts a) when they are being bullied and made ill through it and b) when it's after the event isn't really very kind or helpful.

I wasn't trying to be mean, just realistic. At my old job I was bullied by my boss too but at the time didn't have anything lined up so I just found other ways to deal with it until I ended up finding something else. I know how hard it can be and simply felt that it should be addressed. To each their own.

I'm with Pandora. Your situation with your DH is one where putting up with their behavior is much more desirable than walking away. In your case, the advice you gave is sound. OP's case is *very* different.

OP-I would have done the same and think you made the right decision. Take your time now to figure out what you want. I was in a similar stressful situation but couldn't leave due to the necessity of me working. The stress was so bad, I was getting anxiety attacks daily and needed medication. I was laid off in December and have severance through June. It's amazing how you can get a sense of what you really want out of life when there is no pressure or stress. This time will be good for you.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

What would you have done in my situation? I would have quit cold-turkey too.

Should I contact corporate HR and tell them how I was treated? I'm not sure that they will care. They won't care. If it were me, I would not waste my time. I would simply put it behind me and move on.

Is this likely to hurt me in the future? From what I understand, potential employers who call HR normally just verify dates of employment and the employee's role. I don't think it is likely to hurt you in the future. Most of the time, companies will only verify dates and title because they are afraid of getting sued. I think it would have been more likely that you would have started to suffer physically if you had stayed, which is not worth it.

I know that not staying in either position for very long isn't good, but since I am going into a different field, I'm hoping that it will just look like it was the wrong field for me. I have the same kind of issue because I abruptly left a field which had become too physically demanding and stressful (teaching 2-year-olds) and have been trying to find my place since. The interim time has included short stints at various jobs. I have not had anyone talk negatively about me only doing two months here or three months there because I usually head it off at the pass by saying, "In transitioning out of education, I have tried different types of jobs but they did not turn out to be the right fit." Most people can understand that.

Thanks so much for reading this!

You're welcome! I just want to encourage you and tell you that by leaving an unacceptable situation, you have opened the door for a better one to come to you. Unemployment can be hard at times, but you have to ask yourself if you would truly be better off if you had stayed at the crappy job. I think the answer would be NO! I myself finally decided to enroll in graduate school a year ago in a field totally different from anything I've ever done. It's been difficult because it involved so much soul-searching to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I'll graduate in October of this year and I can honestly say that I don't regret the choices I made, as hard as they were.

 

[shihtzulover]

Thanks - I was really questioning if I should have done things differently, and was thinking that maybe I should have just stuck it out even longer. Thanks for making me realize that I really did make the right decision!

I just wish that there was something that I could do to help my coworkers out. I feel absolutely horrible that they are still stuck there, and even worse, I heard that the interim CEO decided that each of my coworkers could be trained to do a small portion of my job. That makes me feel terrible, because I know that they are already totally overworked and stressed to the max.

I was thinking that I would like to have lunch with them soon - maybe I could even meet up with them this week sometime. It would be nice to be able to say goodbye to my friends, and to exchange contact information with them.

 

[NeverEndingUpgrade]

That's sweet of you, but it sounds like there's not really anything you can do to help. I'm not surprised that the boss has now delegated your work to others instead of hiring someone to replace you. Is it possible that the company is in major financial trouble?

 

[Fly Girl]

Many years ago I quit a job where the bosses were making me just miserable. The experience taught me that life is too short to spend it working a job that makes you unhappy. I changed careers and worked for an honest and decent company for the next 25 years. I promised myself that I would never again work for the sort of people that you had to deal with at your old job. Treating people with kindness and dignity is essential at work and is a quality I look for when looking for a job. I realize the economy is difficult right now, so you are fortunate that you have the option to make that choice. Good luck to you in your search for a new job and a new career.

 

[sphenequeen]

You certainly have NOT ruined your entire future because of this. Do not allow this situation to hold that much power over you. Try and looks at it as though you are opening yourself up to new possibilities - it seems as though you had your mind made up about the fact that this was not your "dream job" anyhow. That being said, sometimes you have to put up with a crappy job in order to pursue a more fulfilling career.

Best of luck to you with your future endeavors. It takes a lot of guts to make a major leap of faith.