I need to vent about a silly, fluffy issue. Indulge me?

[kama_s]

So, just another case of same story-different user. A friend of mine saw pictures of my wedding set and decided to make herself something similar. I told her I would help her as much as I could to make her wedding set, gave her tons of tips and pointers and even offered to have my jeweler make something for her. Now, I never ever in a million years thought she was make my IDENTICAL set. She apparently took a picture of my rings to her jeweler and asked him to replicate it. Same three bands, with the exact same shapes as that in my alternating Bev K band. Every. Last. Detail.

I have to admit, I didn't think this would affect me much; but then again, I didn't think anyone would copy it down to the last detail. It's not a big deal and I'm not going to make a fuss about it. These lips will definitely be sealed and I am happy she loves her set. BUT, I feel a twinge of....I don't know....something? I figured some of you ladies would understand and commisserate with me - just need to get this offf my chest and put this trivial silly issue to rest. Hrrmmpphhh.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

Lovely set.
I think I'll go make an exact copy.
I'm sorry that happened. Wish your friend would have put as much thought into her set as I'm sure you put into yours.

 

[Shoopy]

Is the picture you posted the copy she made??

 

[athenaworth]

It's hard for me to relate since I would be insanely complimented by it but then again it would be creepy if a friend did it . . . someone that I see often IRL. Please tell me that she didn't put in a larger center stone just to one-up you.

 

[ForteKitty]

Oh Kama that really sucks... my friend has a figure 8-ish shaped shank, and while i absolutely love it, i wouldn't even attempt to get anything remotely similar because it just seems wrong.

 

[kama_s]

Is the picture you posted the copy she made??

No, that's my set. I apologize, but I forgot I had a picture of my set as my avatar. I wanted to include a picture to give you guys perspective on what was copied. She took this picture to her jeweler and had them replicate it.

The pave band/e-ring is nothing special or unique - so I have absolutely no issues with anyone copying them exactly. But I am a little miffed about the Bev K being copied exactly.

 

[kama_s]

Lovely set.
I think I'll go make an exact copy.
I'm sorry that happened. Wish your friend would have put as much thought into her set as I'm sure you put into yours.

And that is definitely one of the issues. I spent a lot of time figuring out what I wanted - I honestly wish she would've gone into a jewelry store and tried on other pieces. She didn't. She saw mine and wanted the exact same thing! I suppose I ought to be flattered?

 

[kama_s]

It's hard for me to relate since I would be insanely complimented by it but then again it would be creepy if a friend did it . . . someone that I see often IRL. Please tell me that she didn't put in a larger center stone just to one-up you.

Haha, no she didnt. But I honestly would NOT mind her having a bigger stone at all. I am happy she loves her set, I truly am. I just wish I wouldn't have to see my exact set on her everytime I see her!

 

[kama_s]

Oh Kama that really sucks... my friend has a figure 8-ish shaped shank, and while i absolutely love it, i wouldn't even attempt to get anything remotely similar because it just seems wrong.

I don't mind her being *inspired* by my set, but like you said, it's the copying of it that has my panties in a bunch!

 

[Circe]

Oh, dude. That ... sucks, sorta. I can see feeling like you "ought" to be flattered, and I can see how it would be too awkward to ever, ever bring up (especially with a close friend), but .... It's your wedding set. That's really personal, much more so than just getting a pair of studs right after you or something.

I am guessing your friend isn't very original when it comes to aesthetics? And maybe might be a little tone deaf when it comes to emotions? (In most ways, being the person who copies somebody else's wedding set is much, much worse than being the person whose wedding set is copied: well, except for the bit where you're aware of it and she's ... not). If she's a good friend otherwise, I'd let it go. If not, I'd distance myself. And either way, I might be a little tempted to mix it up somehow with another band down the line (which she does NOT get pictures of).

 

[kenny]

I have no clue why anyone would care.
No clue whatsoever.

Please don't kill me.

It this a guy thing?

 

[kama_s]

Oh, dude. That ... sucks, sorta. I can see feeling like you "ought" to be flattered, and I can see how it would be too awkward to ever, ever bring up (especially with a close friend), but .... It's your wedding set. That's really personal, much more so than just getting a pair of studs right after you or something.

I am guessing your friend isn't very original when it comes to aesthetics? And maybe might be a little tone deaf when it comes to emotions? (In most ways, being the person who copies somebody else's wedding set is much, much worse than being the person whose wedding set is copied: well, except for the bit where you're aware of it and she's ... not). If she's a good friend otherwise, I'd let it go. If not, I'd distance myself. And either way, I might be a little tempted to mix it up somehow with another band down the line (which she does NOT get pictures of).

Thank you, Circe. I can always count on you for sharing a good dose of intelligent snark! I agree entirely with the bolded part - it's almost like I want to scream out 'get your own!' à la Grade 4. I am usually a very outspoken person, so I truly I hope I don't blurt out something to the order of 'well, you sure didn't leave any stone unturned' or 'wow, if I ever lose my set I could substitute it with yours'.

I would hate to lose a friend over something so materialistic, so I truly hope I get over this and get over it fast. On second thought, I could, I suppose, steal a band and throw it in the ocean. Or feed it to her cat. Or flush it down the toilet.

 

[kama_s]

I have no clue why anyone would care.
No clue whatsoever.

Please don't kill me.

It this a guy thing?

Kenny, I think I like you better alive. I think.

And no, I don't think it's a guy thing.

 

[Autumnovember]

I think its 100% different to have someone have an identical hairstyle, hair color, shoes, shirts, or anything. Those items seem to hold a lot less significant value to most people than a wedding ring/e-ring and I think that plays a big role in how people feel when their rings are copied to the T, especially by a very close friend.

Kama, I would feel the same way. It would just feel *weird* having a good friend of mine wear the same exact e-ring as me. There's just something about it.

 

[slg47]

yeah, especially since your set is unique. If she had gone to a jeweler and gotten a RB with pave band...plenty of people have those. but copying every last detail seems weird.

 

[Hera]

I would not have been happy. I see copying it a little bit but the exact same thing would make me angry. If it's any consolation, I don't think it will be exact. We all know what happens when designer rings are copied

 

[decodelighted]

Ew. Ok. Don't kill me. But, Kama, I don't think your set is *THAT* unique. Lots of people have some kind of version of an alternating shape stacker with a pave set. Even SHOPPING CHANNELS sell sets like it. It is BEAUTIFUL and LOVELY on you. ENVIABLE, of course ... but I don't think its the type of thing that shouldn't be copied because of its *uniqueness*.

Sorry you're upset about it though.

 

[texaskj]

If that jeweler copied your Bev K band to the letter, that's copyright infringement. Turn him in to Beverly K.
And anybody who would copy all three rings exactly is either really lazy or creepy.

 

[yssie]

If that jeweler copied your Bev K band to the letter, that's copyright infringement. Turn him in to Beverly K.
And anybody who would copy all three rings exactly is either really lazy or creepy.

I was wondering about the design copyright issues too...


Kama... yeah, I think I get it. It would be -really weird- to see my exact wedding set on someone else's finger and know that it's because that person *copied* mine exactly - not that we just happened to have the same thing. Flattered, but - skeeved, I guess, at the same time ...

 

[mary poppins]

That's creepy. I would be kind of peeved if a good friend of mine copied my set, regardless of whether it was unique. Also, if I were getting a wedding set, I would want something different from my friends'. I don't understand why your friend would do such a thing. Even if it was because she liked your set . . . really, wasn't there anything else she liked out of everything else that exists? Really? Get something original to yourself, girlfriend. Get your own style. Sheesh!

Does she copy your clothing style, hairstyle and car, too? Bleh.

 

[swingirl]

Word to the wise—don't post photos of anything you don't want copied. If it is unique and you want to keep it that way, don't show everyone the up-close details.

Those stacking bands have become very popular and I am surprised anyone would need to have one custom made. There are so many different combinations of round, square and marquis shapes. But a Beverly K is special and beautifully crafted. So hers isn't actually a "duplicate". Think of it as a cheap copy!!

 

[diva rose]

Copied to every single detail by a close friend? Hm...yeah I would be upset also.
Feel free to vent.

 

[VapidLapid]

I totally can see your point. But I think you will be better off in both the long and short by chocking it up to experience and taking the flattery without the creepy. She may not think she did anything creepy since she asked you beforehand. Now whether she failed to articulate the extent of her intent, or you didn't hear what she was trying to say because who would do something so creepy...doesnt matter. The style or spirit of the designs is really popular now in the jewelry boutiques here in NYC. Ive been seeing bands almost exactly like yours in Stuart Moore for at least 4 years. Imagine you'd got your set at kay or zales of tiffany or cartier; places that make a thousand identical unique sets a week. At any moment you could be one of 50 people in the mall, the movies, the supermarket, on the parkway...all with the same set. Your friend must have a really high regard for your style and not as much imagination as you. I dont know her but I doubt she meant to be creepy. I think it is more productive to just enjoy the compliment and the knowledge that your friend has such a high regard for your style. I dont think I'd ever say anything about this to her but if there are future opportunities you could subtly guide and encourage her to developing her own style...and you'll still have the upper hand

 

[monarch64]

Yeah, I wouldn't like it if it happened to me...but at the same time, you did give her pretty close specs and there isn't a patent on your three rings as a whole? I'm really sorry that this happened, no matter what. It's a tough situation all around and I don't blame you for feeling slighted. Wow. At the same time, she didn't do anything inherently wrong...and there have been similar stories here on PS...it's not that you should've known better at all...I wish that people who were looking to copy would ask first but that is really too much to ask of them, I think! Very difficult situation. Kama, I love your rings and I hope you don't change your love for them because of this. They are unique to you and your husband because they were first yours and your style. Someone else loved your style enough to recreate them and here you go. Hugs.

 

[Echidna]

Oh, dude. That ... sucks, sorta. I can see feeling like you "ought" to be flattered, and I can see how it would be too awkward to ever, ever bring up (especially with a close friend), but .... It's your wedding set. That's really personal, much more so than just getting a pair of studs right after you or something.

I am guessing your friend isn't very original when it comes to aesthetics? And maybe might be a little tone deaf when it comes to emotions? (In most ways, being the person who copies somebody else's wedding set is much, much worse than being the person whose wedding set is copied: well, except for the bit where you're aware of it and she's ... not). If she's a good friend otherwise, I'd let it go. If not, I'd distance myself. And either way, I might be a little tempted to mix it up somehow with another band down the line (which she does NOT get pictures of).

As always, Circe has put my thoughts into very eloquent words. I think it's that I'm so emotionally attached my set. My FI and I literally looked for months to find a setting we both liked; I like to think it suits us *perfectly* and thus wouldn't be...right(?)...on a friend. I'd be upset too, so vent away!

 

[rosetta]

Yeah that sucks, but not much you can do about it but be gracious.

You can moan here to a sympathetic ear if you like I guess!

Eta: I have no problem with PSers copying my stuff, but prefer RL friends not to.

I think I'll keep my photos away from them, just in case!

 

[yssie]

If that jeweler copied your Bev K band to the letter, that's copyright infringement. Turn him in to Beverly K.
And anybody who would copy all three rings exactly is either really lazy or creepy.

I was wondering about the design copyright issues too...


Kama... yeah, I think I get it. It would be -really weird- to see my exact wedding set on someone else's finger and know that it's because that person *copied* mine exactly - not that we just happened to have the same thing. Flattered, but - skeeved, I guess, at the same time ...

Yikes. I meant specifically a close friend IRL, whom I'd see often. On PS - it's just flattering

 

[anitabee]

i fully understand your annoyance. as others have said, if it was some random cyber-space ps person who copied it, then it's simply flattering. otherwise, having to ACTUALLY SEE YOUR PARTICULAR SAME SET in person on YOUR FRIEND is way disconcerting! how odd of her to do that

and i definitely think your set is distinctive!

hmmm... some people...

 

[kama_s]

Thank you, everyone, for commiserating with me. I would never mention this to her, or anyone besides my husband. So it was a huge relief to be able to talk openly on this forum.

Autumnnovember: You've nailed it. There is just something weird about her copying my set to a T.

Slg47: Exactly, If it was just my pave, sure whatever. But the exact Bev K style and stacked the exact same way. Um, a bit too similar for my taste!

heranderson: Ha! True. I think she had a first peek at her set yesterday and she said they were too thick. She actually asked her jeweler to make it the EXACT same width as mine as well (2.2mm), but he made it to be around 2.5mm. She wants him to thin it out. *sigh*

Deco, darling, thank you for stating the obvious. I didn't say my set was unique, because obviously I haven't seen the wedidng sets of all 7 billion people that inhabit the Earth. But as anitbee put it, it might not be unique, but it is distinctive. Or maybe I am just petty and trivial, ah well.

Texaskj: I haven't seen the ring upclose, so I can't say if he replicated it exactly. But even if he did, I would never want to taint her rings by turning him in....I don't know. I just don't think she understands that's a bit creepy to have the rings copied, so I am definitely giving her the befit of doubt. But I can't help feeling a tad miffed about it anyways.

Yssie: Indeed. If we both just happened to have the same design, sure, what the hell. I would find that to be quite hilarious, to be honest. Oh blah.

mary poppins: Haha, that was my first thought too! She honestly did not try anything else. She just went into the jeweler and asked him to replicate mine!

swingirl: See, I don't have issues with people getting inspiration from anything I do. I know lots of people have asked me to help with their rings, friends that have gone out and bought the same plates as I have, or my exact couch. No issues at all, I freely share my info to everyone. Somehow I feel like my wedding set is just a bit too personal to me. I honestly didn't think she would copy it exactly, so I suppose it is partly my fault for helping her.

dive rose: Lol, thank you! Feels good to throw a rant in every now and then

Echidna: Indeed! Thank you for understanding.

rosetta: Yup, not going to say a word about it to her - I don't want her to feel terrible about her wedding set. But I definitely will take all the virtual sympathetic ears I can get

anitabee: It truly is odd, isn't it? And I have been trying to put what I feel about my rings - it's not unique, but it IS distinctive. Thank you for putting my thoughts into words.

 

[kama_s]

I totally can see your point. But I think you will be better off in both the long and short by chocking it up to experience and taking the flattery without the creepy. She may not think she did anything creepy since she asked you beforehand. Now whether she failed to articulate the extent of her intent, or you didn't hear what she was trying to say because who would do something so creepy...doesnt matter. The style or spirit of the designs is really popular now in the jewelry boutiques here in NYC. Ive been seeing bands almost exactly like yours in Stuart Moore for at least 4 years. Imagine you'd got your set at kay or zales of tiffany or cartier; places that make a thousand identical unique sets a week. At any moment you could be one of 50 people in the mall, the movies, the supermarket, on the parkway...all with the same set. Your friend must have a really high regard for your style and not as much imagination as you. I dont know her but I doubt she meant to be creepy. I think it is more productive to just enjoy the compliment and the knowledge that your friend has such a high regard for your style. I dont think I'd ever say anything about this to her but if there are future opportunities you could subtly guide and encourage her to developing her own style...and you'll still have the upper hand

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, VapidLapid. I bolded a comment you mentioned above, and you're entirely correct. I may have misinterpreted her intentions, or I may just not have considered the fact that someone would blatantly copy my set to a T. I honestly don't think she understands the sentiments attached to my wedding set, so I agree with you that she probably doesn't realize it isn't entirely kosher (I don't want to say creepy, because that's definitely not like her). I would never say a word to her - I truly want her to enjoy and love her set as much as I love mine.

Also, I would never ever be miffed if she just happened to get the exact same set as mine. I remember the time when a pave set was considered unique - in fact, a few years ago an ex-colleague was incredibly upset with another colleague who also received a pave e-ringset. Apparently, she thought this other person 'copied' her set. It just so happened they both liked pave and happened to get engaged at around the same time! That I would find amusing, if anything. But not trying out anything else and have a jeweler custom make my exact set from scratch? Yeah, not a coincidence.