I need some advice

[damons]

You were all very supportive in my last thread about proposing to my partner, and I am hoping you can help me out again today.

I was going to propose to her while in Altantic City on June 26. I have tickets to see Joel McHale at the Borgata and everything was planned. I got an email yesterday from Comcast Tix that the show is postponed until July 17th due to a "scheduling conflict". I already have the ring and waiting a month was going to be hard, but I could do it. Waiting 2 months is completely out of the question.

Now I need to come up with a plan B. I wanted to take her away somewhere when I propose. I didn''t want to do it at home because there is just something special about getting away for a weekend. Unfortunately, we have a lot going on in the coming weeks, and the earliest I can take her somewhere is the weekend of June 12-13. I was thinking of booking a room at the beach. Since I was going to wait until June 26 anyway, I figure June 12 isn''t too bad.

However, there is a strong part of me that wants to give it to her sooner than that. I love her so much and I know she wants to be engaged. She has NO idea that I have the ring, so she will be completely surprised either way. A majority of my friends are encouraging me to do it this weekend. They are reminding me that life is short and I could die tomorrow. We have plans tonight and tomorrow night, so I am not sure that I can do it then. We are going to brunch on Sunday morning, and I was thinking we could take a walk and see how things go.

I just don''t know what to do. I am not girly at all, and I can honestly say that I don''t know how girls think. If I have learned anything from this forum, it is that girls think about a proposal all the time.

So I am asking you...would you rather be proposed to at home in a "spur of the moment" type thing...or would you rather be taken away for a romantic weekend somewhere?

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

You want to be engaged, you know she wants to be engaged, you have the ring... just do it!!

My friend was recently engaged, he works away and on his last swing he organised a diamond. He was going to pick it up when he got back and was going to propose with the diamond... well he was so excited, he got off the plane, drove home and asked her to marry him as soon as he got in the door.. he couldn''t wait!! She said it was the best proposal ever.

Honestly, she is going to love whatever you do and i think the walk after sunday brunch sounds lovely.

Goodluck!!!

 

[lilyfoot]

Date: 5/14/2010 10:53:49 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree

You want to be engaged, you know she wants to be engaged, you have the ring... just do it!!

Excuse my language, but hell yeah!

My now-husband planned on proposing on New Years, but instead ended up doing an impromptu proposal as we were in our pajamas, in our apartment, on Christmas night. He had the ring for 2 days prior, and just couldn''t wait anymore. It was, to me, the best proposal, and very heartfelt.

So, I''m all for the proposal this weekend!

 

[HopeDream]

Propose whenever it feels right.

Remember that your proposal story will be re-told at various times over the years - so hopefuly more than a "Wadda ya say babydoll?" but anything that is straight from the heart. Can''t wait proposals and elaborate champagne, rose petal and carriage ride proposals are equaly romantic if they come from the heart.

Make sure whatever your plan, that the two of you have some alone time to talk and celebrate being newly engaged.

What do you think she would find most charming?

 

[redhead02]

I''m sure however you do it, she will love it because you were so eager and you just couldn''t wait In terms of the walk, where do you live? Is there anywhere with a cool view, or anywhere that has special meaning to you because you went there on an early date?

I think of that dorky commercial where the guy takes the girl to a bunch of places they went on early dates, and they''re walking down memory lane together. Then he takes her to a gorgeous park that she says she doesn''t remember, and he goes, "you will" and drops to one knee

Totally corny, but thought it might give you some ideas.

 

[getting excited]

I think you should do it now! As another girl who very badly wants to be engaged, any time we go on a trip there is something in the back of my head saying, "is he going to propose now?!" She may be thinking that too. You could totally surprise her by doing it closer to home. Of course every girl dreams about her proposal, but it does not have to be something super elaborate. When I think about my dream proposal, I just want my bf to have thought about it. Maybe take her to your favorite restaurant as a couple, one of your favorite date spots, or just some place special. She will be so excited no matter what you do!

The fact that you are so concerned shows how much you love her and that will definitely come across in any proposal spot you choose! Good luck and can''t wait to see the ring!!

 

[HappyNewLife]

If I didn''t know you were on the East Coast, I''d be all excited because I''d be convinced you were my GF posting on PS, LOL!

You seem really sweet and thoughtful, and being how I am (girly girl, would love nothing more than to be engaged to my girl), I would be absolutely thrilled with an at-home proposal no matter how you did it. I wouldn''t want/need a getaway, I just want the girl and the sentiments (the ring is bonus, but I don''t even care about that).

I''d just do it ASAP if I were you.

My proposal is changing too after I messed up the dates we will be in SF. I''m actually planning on something next weekend now, if I can get it all together!

 

[RaiKai]

Date: 5/14/2010 10:44:30 AM
Author:damons

So I am asking you...would you rather be proposed to at home in a 'spur of the moment' type thing...or would you rather be taken away for a romantic weekend somewhere?

I would rather be proposed to at home, or in an intimate setting, than have a big "planned proposal". To me the over-the-top romance just does not work. I would want a proposal to be as real as our relationship, you know?

I think proposing after a yummy Sunday brunch is a absolutely wonderful idea!

However, this comes from a woman whose DH proposed very spontaneously via text message - while he was being admitted into an emergency room in another province while he was away for a couple weeks. I on the other hand was quite cozy at home in our bed. It was a complete surprise to me, and I had not even been expecting one at the time (and definitely did not consider myself a lady in waiting). While it would of been nice for him to be WITH me when he asked the circumstances certainly did not allow that, and I honestly would not change a thing about our proposal (I flew out to the hospital the next day).

Believe it or not, most woman do not think about a proposal all the time (of course, if you are considering yourself a "lady in waiting" than you may think about it a bit more often....). And most women I know do not want something over-the-top like you see in movies...they just want something that is personal and intimate. I think proposals should be about you two as a couple...not about impressing others. My $0.02.

 

[mary poppins]

If you have the ring now and want to propose, do it sooner rather than later. No need to make an elaborate plan or wait for a weekend getaway. Whatever you do, your girlfriend will remember the moment and be happy to be engaged to you. I say do it this weekend! During or after brunch sounds lovely.

 

[damons]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I was such a mess this morning, but I am feeling much better about the situation.

I have decided to take her to Rehoboth Beach for the weekend of June 12-13. This is where we usually go for our summer vacation, so we have memories there and I know where the good restaurants are to celebrate

I am sure she will like whatever I do, but I decided to take her away because:

1) I selfishly want her all to myself for those 2 days

2) She has a hard time relaxing on the weekend without doing "chores". I don''t want to propose, then be like "Okay, time to go grocery shopping". You know what I mean?

Now I just need to think of the details. I am thinking that we will get there on Friday night and we will go for a walk on the beach. I will propose then, so we have the whole weekend to celebrate.

Hey HappyNewLife...what are you going to do now??

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 5/14/2010 10:44:30 AM
Author:damons

A majority of my friends are encouraging me to do it this weekend. They are reminding me that life is short and I could die tomorrow.

Those are some cheerful friends you''ve got there.

A beach weekend sounds like a great plan. Have fun!

 

[HappyNewLife]

that sounds perfect! Do you think she will be on to you?

Oh I have no idea now. Next weekend was shot down by my GF. She''s going to LA and I was trying to go there to surprise her, but her best friend has not replied to my email (I need her help to pull it off) and now the plane ticket is sold. So then I was going to go a day earlier, no surprise, but my GF is going to a wedding that day and she can''t bring me to that. I don''t want to go to LA and sit around for a day while she''s at a wedding, then have to fly home the next day (because of work on Monday).

Ack, I just want to do this!!!!!!!!!! I guess I''ll stick to Pride weekend and will find a romantic point of the madness to do it? Seems unlikely.

 

[Grlsbestfrnd]

A beach weekend sounds perfect. Honestly, like everyone else was saying, as long as the proposal is personal and true to you it really doesn''t matter how it''s pulled off. Do it now or at the beach, either is great!

 

[damons]

A spontaneous trip to the beach will probably make her suspicious, but I don''t really care. She can assume all she wants, but she won''t know for sure until I actually do it.

I would feel guilty if I were to lead her on and not have a ring. But the story ends with me proposing, so how bad can it be?

HappyNewLife, how long are you planning on staying in San Fran? Can you tell her that while you are there, you want to have a day to yourselves that is more private? I don''t think that would tip her off at all. It is nice to go on vacation and have things to do...but it also nice to have a day to relax and do something romantic. She will understand.

 

[HappyNewLife]

You''re totally right. If she''s suspicious it will only make it more exciting since she''s getting a life commitment from YOU in the end! She''s so lucky!

Thanks for your advice. I have to think some more. I''m so tired of waiting. That ring is burning a hole through my bathroom cabinet

 

[PumpkinPie]

Date: 5/14/2010 10:53:49 AM
Author: hawaiianorangetree
You want to be engaged, you know she wants to be engaged, you have the ring... just do it!!


My friend was recently engaged, he works away and on his last swing he organised a diamond. He was going to pick it up when he got back and was going to propose with the diamond... well he was so excited, he got off the plane, drove home and asked her to marry him as soon as he got in the door.. he couldn''t wait!! She said it was the best proposal ever.


Honestly, she is going to love whatever you do and i think the walk after sunday brunch sounds lovely.


Goodluck!!!

exactly!

 

[Autumnovember]

Now!

I would rather it be spur of the moment for some reason..but thats just my own personal preference

 

[Bellafelis]

I agree with the others... if you both want to be engaged, then why wait? I know my boyfriend wants to make the proposal special too, but personally, I'd prefer for him to just propose at home instead of drawing it out. Hanging out at home and just being together would be my dream proposal setting, personally.

If you're determined to make it special, you could always propose now and celebrate with something special later.