I need a lecture - help

[tracys126]

So I am a jerk. An asbolute jerk.

I can''t help but think my ring looks - (can I even say this?) - a bit small. I mean I can''t help but think I could''ve gotten something much bigger had we not bought at Tiffanys. Of course, I know that''s what everyone said on here. On the other hand, I do like my ring and I feel completely honored that my FI bought me what he considered the best. It was thrilling to receive a Tiffs.

I don''t really want a lecture. And I know everyone will say my priorities are off. But I love my FI and am happy with my ring, and happy to be getting married to such a spectacular man.

It''s just that people respond to my ring like "it''s so simple" and well, I don''t even know what I am saying. I am just not blown away or something, and for the price I want to be, and I want everyone else to be too!

I feel like a jerk. But if I can''t turn to you guys, who can I turn too.

Please don''t be harsh on me. I am just sharing my honest feelings. What do you think? Has this ever happened to anyone else?

 

[MelissaSue]

You''re not being a jerk. However.. your ring is not small by ANY stretch of the imagination. And.. its Tiffany! Even though we all act like we hate Tiffany around here.. I don''t think many of us would say no to a Tiffany ring!! lol.. Your ring is beautiful!! And very very big! I don''t know your whole story. Did you pick the ring, or did your FI chose it or did you help pick it out?

 

[MelissaSue]

Also.. I don''t know why anyone would act like your ring is "so simple" its very different from what you see everyday.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

I think it happens ALL the time. E-rings are a pretty big build-up (really big if you have been dating for awhile) and sometimes women are disappointed. I think once you have a wedding band paired with your solitaire it won''t be "so simple." I think sometimes people say things that sound rude but they don''t mean for them to be rude. (Like telling someone their artwork is "cute." Same theory) You said yourself that you love having a Tiffany''s ring so maybe you sacrificed size. Just remember there are always upgrades

 

[fountainfairfax]

No lecture here, just a diagnosis of Pricescope-itis! This site can make us all lose our minds, think that 3ct+ is the norm, everyone should own a Leon or an MM and absolute strangers should grab our hands in awe. Reality is that we can't have one of each and having to decide really sux, especially for someone like me who has second-guessed her ring decision almost daily since last October. It's madness!!!!

I too feel bad & guilty for having less-than-happy thoughts about my ring (and my ring was all my doing!!!!)

Please understand that this is so normal here and if I saw this beauty in person the last thing I'd say is "it's so simple." I'd probably ask "does he have a brother?"

Lets all take a moment to enjoy this beautiful set.....

e.t.a. and I think it looks HUGE on you!

 

[froufrou]

post a pic of it on Show me the Ring, you''ll get tons of great comments i am sure, and it will make you feel tons better how big is it by the way??

Its great to have something of great quality from Tiffanys so just think about the little aqua colored box Tiffany''s is beauitful and I spent forever trying to find a setting that looked remotely like Tiff''s for not very much money

also remember...most of the rings on here are a lot bigger than the ones people have in everyday life!!! ANYONE would start thinking their ring is small after visitng PS

im sure your ring is beautiful..! post pics

 

[diamondfan]

No judging here..DSS and the like do exist.

What is your ring like (not that it matters, I am just curious!!)

I sometimes think my stone, which is a good size, could face up larger. This is a second upgrade and I also got it at Tiffany''s...it took one person saying, OH! Is that "blank" carats, and being off by a lot, for me to think maybe my stone is too deep or the girdle is too thick...

Told my DH and I thought he was going to flip out! I promised this was it for me and that I would be thrilled and stunned and happy for life...then a bit of doubt creeps in and it is silly, but real. I know I have an awesome ring and I am so lucky, and all things in life are relative...

I am sure you know you have a great ring and even better a great guy, and that is what matters!

Do not feel bad about it, but keep your feelings here!!! Most people think we are nutty for our thoughts!

 

[sunkist]

Hey there Tracy, Of course you can turn to us

So is it other people''s reactions that are bothering you? Try this. Sit alone, don''t think about anyone else, except for you and FI and the moment you got engaged, your first reaction to him presenting the ring to you, all the feelings you felt then. I know you said you loved the ring when you got it, and that you couldn''t be happier then. Then other people''s reactions dissapointed you and started to rub off on your reaction of the ring. Don''t worry about what other people think! They may just be jealous of that beauty of a ring you''ve got!

What if you added another eternity band on the other side of your E-ring though??? That would add more bling and more *wow* factor

 

[MINE!!]

SHHHHHHH... Deep breath. Your ring is fabulous!! Gorgeous!! and unique!!! If you feel that it is still small in a year after the wedding.. think about an upgrade. but relax.. its wonderful and it was given in love and it is from Tiffany's.

BTW: I defnintely concur with the Pricescope-itis...

 

[froufrou]

whoa whoa is that your ring that fountain posted, tracy??? its very BIG!!! and pretty.

now you''re going to make me think MY diamond is small....

 

[fountainfairfax]

Date: 6/6/2006 11:15:14 PM
Author: froufrou
whoa whoa is that your ring that fountain posted, tracy??? its very BIG!!! and pretty.

now you''re going to make me think MY diamond is small....

Yes, it''s hers and isn''t it amazing??!!!

 

[ocbride2007]

Honestly, don''t worry about what other people say, so long as you love it. If they comment that it is "simple" then they just aren''t aware of the classic beauty of the Tiffany''s setting. Just be thankful you have the eye for design.

Just curious, but where do you live? Are there not lots of Tiffany lovers out there? Because a lot of people who see my ring instantly know it is Tiffany''s, because it''s Orange County and we are mega superficial, hahahha. But seriously, in my opinion that setting is a work of art... anyone can buy a big diamond and drop it into a crappy setting, (not that there''s not lots of great ones out there that aren''t Tiffany''s, but I''ve never seen a better 6-prong). Besides, a diamond is for your enjoyment!!! And a Tiffany''s ring, any size or color, looks gorgeous!!

And if you''re not blown away now, it may be just a little sticker shock, but it will wear off. I felt a little guilty about the price of my ring at first too, but after a while I calculated the cost per month for the 50+ years I will be wearing it, and I wasn''t guilty anymore, hahaha.

I know a lot of people talk about shrinkage... that their diamond starts to feel smaller and they need to upgrade after a while. But I got my 1ct, which is plenty big for me, but not as large as a lot of them that are going around. And as I look at it more and more, I actually think, wow, that looks big on my finger!!

Obviously your fiance cares a lot about you to buy you what he thinks is the best, and you two are happy together. I know it must be rough to have mixed feelings at the moment. But give yourself a few days, filter out others opinions, and if you love it, that''s all you need.

Oh, I just found your show me the ring thread... the Lucida looks gorgeous, especially with the band!!! It really doesn''t look small on your hand at all. And the Lucida isn''t as simple as the 6-prong, which I have. It''s a classy, elegant ring, it just doesn''t have lots and lots of extras. It''s like a Porsche compared to a hummer... hummers are big, flashy, and cool, but the Porsche looks oh so stylish and never goes out of style. You have the Porsche of e-rings, my dear.

Not sure if I helped you any, but it is lovely, and there are many many girl out there who are so envious that you own that!!

 

[Tybee]

First of all...
Your ring is gorgeous.
Secondly... this happens to everyone. Take a breath, realize what is happening, then look, examine, and love your ring.

My e-ring is very tiny by PS standards. I loved it at first, then beat myself up because if I hadn''t rushed FI, then it would have been bigger, then realized that it was everything I wanted.

Hey--- it took me a while to accept it, I second guess everything though, just know that it''s really really really normal.

Tybee

 

[Mara]

Here is another perspective. I am on my third upgrade and FINALLY my stone looks big to me. Because it really is. Sure it can be bigger but I can never say this stone is small. I didn't feel that with my old 1.6c, I though it was small more often than not, even though I know that it's larger than alot of people have. But that's not really what mattered to me. I didn't care how big other's people's rings were or comparing my ring to anyone else or what other people around me have, I wanted to continuously look at my ring and think 'man that stone is big'. It meant something to me. I feel like I finally have it. It doesn't mean I don't want an upgrade at some point (or maybe not with the way pricing is!!) but I am finally really HAPPY with what I have because it finally feels like it fits me.

You may or may not be like me but I know for me it doesn't matter about others' telling me how large or beautiful or great my ring or stone is. I have to believe it, it has to mean something to ME. So my thoughts are...you have this Tiffany ring now...you wanted it, you love it..you just wish it was bigger. So get an upgrade at some point! Tiffany's allows one upgrade, so plan for it. It doesn't mean you can't enjoy your ring now. Part of the fun with upgrades IMO is the wait, having something to look forward to. OR alternatively, take it back and get something else at another store. I don't know your fiance or your situation on if that would fly or not. But you have two choices, be happy for now but get a larger stone in a few years or so...or take it back and start fresh. Whatever you decide, good luck!

 

[ellewoods]

I don''t think you''re a jerk Tracy, and I''m glad you came here to talk about it instead of saying something to your fiance for risk he might be hurt.

Your ring is very pretty. I don''t know what the size is of the center stone, but it doesn''t look particularly small. Here''s my take on other people''s reactions.

Most people are not as *ahem* shall we say focused (obsessed!) about the details of their engagement ring and other diamond jewelry as the jewelry mavens on Pricescope. It''s something the people who spend time on Pricescope very much enjoy, the tiny details, the excitement of combining several favorite features into a custom ring, experiencing the jubilation of receiving that perfect little blue box, oohing and ahhing at the latest Leon creation, or the newest Whiteflash masterpiece (thank you thank you WF for my ring!).

I think the average woman isn''t very familiar with the engagement rings at Tiffany''s -- I know I wasn''t familiar with their engagement ring selection until a couple of years ago. Most women (and men) hear "Tiffany''s" and automatically assume that they''ll just KNOW it''s a Tiffany ring once they see it -- like it will be a ring unlike any other imaginable, something super unique. But as pretty and elegant and as good quality as Tiffany rings are, they''re not obvious that they''re Tiffany to a average observer. People who know jewelry may be able to tell its a Tiffany ring, but I would bet most people wouldn''t. I think that''s when people realize that although Tiffany carries a prestige with it and the blue box, its due to the quality -- not the extreme uniqueness.

So when people say "it''s so simple" about your ring, I think its because they''re the ones who aren''t very familiar with the Tiffany engagement ring selection (which is pretty limited, although pretty and classic), and so they''re expecting fireworks and some big sign that its Tiffany but they can''t tell your ring from a non-Tiffany.

My opinion is that the true value of a Tiffany ring is known really only to the woman who the ring is given to, and the man who proposes with it. Unless you tell everyone that it''s a Tiffany ring when you show them your ring, many people won''t know its a Tiffany (unless you leave the blue box lying out all the time so people will know). But does that really matter? You and your fiance both know that he gave you what he considered the very best, and that''s all that matters.

I think that''s the trade off of having a Tiffany ring -- you and your fiance value having the Tiffany brand, and the Tiffany quality, but the ring isn''t going to speak up and tell people who see it that it''s a Tiffany. On the other hand, when people have a ring custom made, "inspired" by a branded setting such as the Lucida or Ritani, etc. they''re trading off having that specific designer or brand for often a more affordable ring, or a larger center stone, etc.

Neither situation is "correct," it all depends on what the woman and her fiance want and are happy with. As long as you love your ring, and your fiance is happy with it, then try and disregard other people''s comments if they''re not over-the-moon over your ring. Engagement rings are extremely personal, depending on which characteristics you value the most, so some people may prefer a bigger stone or side stones or a non-diamond center stone -- it doesn''t mean your ring is any less pretty or elegant.

 

[tracys126]

Wow, wow, wow you guys. You are wonderful. Through my search for an engagement ring I have found a phenomenal group of supportive women, and I can''t tell you how much I appreciate it.

Thank you for helping me through this. I really didn''t know who to turn to.

Do you feel like you continuously look at everyone''s ring finger now? This never happened to me before. I not only never noticed anyone''s ring, but never even thought about having one of my own!

Anyway, thanks again for sharing your own feelings about your experiences, and helping me work through such an odd feeling.

 

[FireGoddess]

The set is gorgeous, and seriously, it is pretty huge, m''dear. I know that us saying so might not convince you, but what else will? I can say for a fact that people weren''t grabbing my hand noticing my Tiffany Lucida band (same as yours). But as soon as they heard it was a Tiffany''s ring, they would grab my hand and take another look. And all of a sudden it went from ''nice ring'' to ''well my my my, aren''t we fancy with a ring from Tiff''s.'' Seriously.

I wouldn''t sweat it - and know that you can upgrade once so don''t feel like you''re stuck with something that seems small to you forever. It really isn''t, and this place is NOT normal in terms of stone sizes!!!

 

[codex57]

You''re not alone. My wife''s friend (great lady so don''t think this example represents her at all) got a Tiff ring. I think one of the first things she said to him after she got it was, "Tiffany''s?!? For the same price, you coulda gotten me a ring that''s twice as big!

" You seem to have held it in a little better.

 

[Lorelei]

I think you are totally normal and this happens to many of us, wondering if we should have got bigger, higher / lower clarity, better colour etc, better cut....this will wear off and it is a stunning set you have from Tiffany, it looks large and gorgeous on your hand too! As Mara said Tiff''s allow one upgrade so you can have that to look forward to sometime! Don''t worry about these feelings, it can be scary to commit to one diamond and it is easy to second guess yourself, but it will wear off!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I didn''t get a chance to comment in your other post, but I did read it. And I thought to myself at the time, "whoa, that thing is enormous!" My ring is small by PS standards, and there are definitely days I think it looks small. Other days, though, I think it looks quite nice on my finger. Enjoy the ring and your engagement! Your ring is beautiful

 

[sydneycasandra]

Tracy- You''re not a jerk!

I can''t imagine that there is ANYONE reading this post who hasn''t felt a little of what you''re feeling right now, and probably more than once! It may not be stone size, necessarily, but color, cut, clarity, setting, metal choice, stone shape, 3stone vs solitaire, etc.

DH let me be in on designing my own ering; I wanted something very ornate and borderline gaudy. I got it. You think someone who had full control over the designing of their ering would totally love it, right? Nope. I find different (albeit small) flaws with it often, and sometimes wish I''d done more research beforehand. Sometimes I wish I had a more typical-looking, "simple", obviously bridal set, such as oh, a TIFFANY SOLITAIRE. Sometimes people with Tiffany solitaires will wish they had intricate, ornate, unusual settings. Each has its advantages and disadvantages, but it seems like you choice the best fit for you, and your ring is GORGEOUS.

 

[lovelylulu]

tracy,

you are so right about noticing other people''s bling.

i was completely ignorant to diamonds until i was close to being engaged. i have never been a girl that lusted for a honking stone. then i found this blasted place and became a total convert

i find myself constantly trying to get a better peak at perfect stranger''s ring that catches my eye. and while i love and adore my ring, there are certainly times, i think, perhaps i could stand for an upgrade in the future

your ring is gorgeous. truly. and i''ll just translate the "it''s so simple" comments = CLASSIC, ELEGANT, PERFECT

 

[allycat0303]

Tracys126 honey, you definitely do not need a lecture. I used to look at my ring all the time and say "It''s small" ALL the time. Actually even when the stone arrived unmounted I thought to myself "It''s kind of small" I thought the setting would help, but alas I still think it''s "small" I think the problem is that I didn''t get the right size for me to begin with. WF allows upgrades but my boy is fanatically attached to the stone, so we would have to buy a totally new stone

So I try to convince myself daily that I don''t *need* a bigger stone. That''s my punishment because when we first started out my boyfriend wanted to buy a much bigger stone and I convinced him that it would be overkill. Major freakin''insanity.

Now that being said, young lady, there are probably THOUSANDS of people that are trying to get that Tiffany''s look. How often do we see someone on PS saying, "Well ''my girlfriend fell in love with the Lucida, so how can I get the look for less????" ALL the time. And you have the authentic. And just to say that I was talking to some of my friends a few days ago (they are young, like 21) and they were saying, "Oh my dream is to have a Tiffany engagement ring" And truly I know SO FEW people that have an authentic Tiffany. I think you and Kaliegh.

You''re definitely NOT alone! Hugs!

 

[Kaylyn]

Date: 6/6/2006 10:55:30 PM
Author:tracys126
It''s just that people respond to my ring like ''it''s so simple''

Why in the world do people feel the need to say things like that? My cousin''s dear wife (

) took one look at my ring and said, "It''s so tiny!".

And that was all she said.

I think your ring is pretty. It''s classic. And in 30 years when everyone who thinks your ring is "simple" has a "fancy" ring that goes out of style, yours will still look fantastic.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 6/7/2006 9:40:33 AM
Author: allycat0303
How often do we see someone on PS saying, ''Well ''my girlfriend fell in love with the Lucida, so how can I get the look for less????'' ALL the time. And you have the authentic. And just to say that I was talking to some of my friends a few days ago (they are young, like 21) and they were saying, ''Oh my dream is to have a Tiffany engagement ring'' And truly I know SO FEW people that have an authentic Tiffany.

So true, Ally! Great points!


Tracy-girl,

What you''re going through is completely normal/human! As are your mixed feelings about your feelings!

My confession: just finished "fixing" my beloved e-ring in a way that the center stone now sits lower. Guess what? As perfect as it looks in the ring, and as gorgeous as the "fix" was ... it looks SMALLER! And since it''s an already spread-challenged Asscher cut on my ginormous sausage fingers -- I''ve had a pouty moment or two! But here''s the thing. EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING has pros & cons. There are, like, a MILLION more PROS I see about my ring than this one minor, probably-no-one-else-even-notices-the-slight size-apperance difference than me type CON.

Same with your ring ... I mean it''s GORGEOUS!!! It''s Tiffany!!! It looks amazing & perfect & classic on your hand. Like it was MADE FOR YOU. As does the matching band!! Mentally you might be calculating how much more size you could have for the $$, but would the extra "pow" you''d get from that really make you happier? Really impress people more than the perfection that is currently your ring? There''s always another house, another car, another job, another vacation you COULD HAVE HAD. What''s the expression ... it''s not getting what you want that makes you happy, it''s actually wanting what you have! (hee hee - it''s gettin'' lecture-ish!!)

So I''ll stop!

*HUGS* also

 

[Mara]

"It's not getting what you want....it's wanting what you've got..."

From the Sheryl Crow song...Soaking up the Sun!! If only it were that easy...hehee. Oh I will say that while I know my stone is a big one, I am still looking at it, imagining it in other settings, particularly ones that are posted on PS. Oh would my stone look larger in that ring? Or maybe if it was a 'simple' solitaire. Simple isn't bad!! Some people crave it.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/7/2006 12:38:30 AM
Author: Mara
Here is another perspective. I am on my third upgrade and FINALLY my stone looks big to me. Because it really is. Sure it can be bigger but I can never say this stone is small.

I wanted to continuously look at my ring and think 'man that stone is big'. It meant something to me. I feel like I finally have it.

OH MY GOD........the apocalypse must be upon us! The world as we know it has really ended.......Mara finally thinks her stone is BIG!

I'm sure the locusts and plagues will begin any time. LOL

ROTFLMAO!

 

[Mara]

Date: 6/7/2006 1:05:56 PM
Author: aljdewey

Date: 6/7/2006 12:38:30 AM
Author: Mara
Here is another perspective. I am on my third upgrade and FINALLY my stone looks big to me. Because it really is. Sure it can be bigger but I can never say this stone is small.

I wanted to continuously look at my ring and think ''man that stone is big''. It meant something to me. I feel like I finally have it.

OH MY GOD........the apocalypse must be upon us! The world as we know it has really ended.......Mara finally thinks her ring is BIG!

I''m sure the locusts and plagues will begin any time. LOL

ROTFLMAO!

HA HA, where''s PlagueCalc...I''ve never seen a plague before!

 

[aphisiglovessae]

Date: 6/6/2006 10:55:30 PM
Author:tracys126
It''s just that people respond to my ring like ''it''s so simple'' and well, I don''t even know what I am saying. I am just not blown away or something, and for the price I want to be, and I want everyone else to be too!


I feel like a jerk. But if I can''t turn to you guys, who can I turn too.


Please don''t be harsh on me. I am just sharing my honest feelings. What do you think? Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Well, your ring IS simple. BUT.... Simplicity doesn''t equal small. You have a beautiful rock on your hand that''s almost 1.5 carats! I know that may seem a little small compared to a lot of members here, but there are also a lot of us that have less than a carat (center stone) and are perfectly happy with the size. Some of us would kill to have a rock that size on our hands. I guess it''s the shrinkage syndrome that I hear so much about on these forums. I don''t personally think you''re a jerk for experiencing this. To each his own... I personally don''t think the size of my stone matters at all, but it matters to others. It honestly sounds to me more like a buyer''s remorse because of the sticker shock.. If you truly love your ring, then the feelings will subside.

 

[TravelingGal]

Definitely better to be called simple than gaudy or garish, right? But then hey, some people like gaudy and garish too!

I love your ring...the Lucida was what prompted me to start searching for something I would love as much as I did the Lucida (we couldn''t afford a 1 carat Lucida, unfortunately).

I think sometimes I wonder if I should have gotten a round because they have such great spreads when they are cut well. But my cushion has a great spread and faces up as big as other rounds that have bigger carat weight than mine (I''m talking about some rounds I''ve seen in real life that I know are not ideally cut, not the rounds seen here on PS!) I have not seen a cushion owned by anyone I know yet, and I feel like I have something kind of unique.

You have a lovely, gorgeous ring. As the others said, it''s the inspiration for countless rings on PS (anyone remember when there were tons of vatche xprong threads?) I hope you can enjoy it!