I need a cure for my diamond fever...

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:14:05 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

I don''t know what will make you happy or satisfy your wants; all I know is larger did not make me any ''happier'': and if the truth be told if I could, I''d downsize or unload my 6.12ctw ER and just keep my asscher eternity ring. Recently I have gotten rid of my large diamond pieces (earrings, pendats, bracelets) because of nonuse. Great satisfaction received in that. I am wanting what I have, and it''s all good.

cheers--Sharon

I too sometimes think that a simple eternity band is the way to go. I would hate to see you unload your beautiful ER though! It is a stunner!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:28:03 PM
Author: neatfreak
Honestly Dreamer I do think a PS break is the only way. Or at least a break from SMTR and RT. When I feel I''ve gotten obsessed with it I take a break and find I don''t really have the same desire as I do when I see tons of huge rings on a daily basis.

Yes, but even in FHH people avatars barrage me with their lovliness! LOL! But point taken. I didn''t go there for a long time when I was pg and I think that my desire may have ebbed a little...

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:28:33 PM
Author: gemgirl

Date: 10/6/2009 1:57:39 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie
My upgrade fever! Or rather, spending too much time thinking about changing my ring

Is walking away from PS the only real cure? That is a tough thing to do because this has been a hobby of mine for 2 years now.

I have never been fully satified with my ring and keep thinking that I will be happy with a bigger diamond, different shape, different setting. But I know it is all in my head. Or is it?

When you have been somehow disatisfied with your ring, did you finally make a change that cured you? Or is it really just a mental illness

?

dd, what has snapped me out that mode of thinking very quickly, has been something serious happening in life which almost instantaneously causes me to feel VERY grateful for what I have. Truthfully, I haven''t experienced much upgrade fever in the fourteen or so months since the recession hit because I was afraid I couldn''t pay my regular bills. Even now, we''re OK and I am SO chomping at the bit to call Lesley and get started on a project, but...... I just can''t bring myself to do it. I guess my cure was a reality check. I do have to say though, staying away from SMTR does help. Booooo!!!!!!! LOL!

Yes! That is so true! We have not been hit by the recession yet in my/DH''s fields, and perhaps less in my country, so there has not been a real crunch to make me wake up and look at reality. But I grew up quite poor and I think that the spectre of poverty is always there and is why I am not totally comfortable spending money on things -- anything! -- that is not a necessity. But somehow I still manage

. I think it is because once you have lived on a family income of $10000 then you know it is possible, and maybe it isn''t that scary? Or maybe I am just delusional.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:45:32 PM
Author: kenny
After being spoiled wearing a killer 2.26 ct F VVS2 asscher I don''t have diamond fever. (If anything I feel it''s a tad big on me.)

Then again . . . there ARE those natural colored diamonds . . .

Hmmm.

Maybe it will end when I die.

Hmmm... yes I think that would probably cure it for me too!

What are these natura colored diamonds of which you speak though? Sounds like a foul temptress to me!

 

[Lynn B]

Date: 10/6/2009 7:50:34 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
Ahhh the wisdom of PS!

Several people mentioned thinking about whether I have a diamond goal, and working towards that. I think I do have a goal -- I would like a 1.7ct diamond, J color, SI2 clarity.

And I think that a big part of my problem is that while I do want that size diamond, and I know that is the largest I would want to go in an RB based on my lifestyle, social circle, etc... I am not sure that it is a good thing to spend my money on!

I keep wondering if there is *another* way that I can scratch that itch... maybe a halo, maybe a three-stone, maybe maybe maybe... that wouldn't cost as much. Ands hence all my threads asking people about different options

I would save my disposable income for whatever we decided to do, it isn't an issue of affording it, but in the end somehow I think 'It isn't worth it!!'

I struggled with this before I got my present upgrade diamond this year. I was thinking of all the options for re-setting my .80ct that would cost less than it would take to make a significant upgrade. But it never felt right, I guess because in my heart I knew I wanted a larger diamond. And when I got this diamond, I knew that the money was TOTALLY well spent! I love having a larger diamond -- even though I knew when I got it that it was not my forever size. I enjoy it a lot... but still those nagging questions remain -- Is it OK to spend that much? Do I deserve it? What will people think? (already I think that my social circle looks ascanse at my ring sometimes). What price is ok to spend on meaningless, hedonistic pleasures?

So I suppose that I am struggling with accepting that I will save for that next upgrade, versus being happy with what I have and leaving it at that. And there is the fever.... I have not decided yet what I want to do, and it makes this obsession a bit much at times!

Well, now you are getting a little too philosophic for me!

I honestly don't worry about what anyone "thinks" or if anyone looks askance at my ring... to me, that's a non-issue. I live in a small town and work in a helping profession and think (hope!

) I am a sensitive, caring person... but I'm telling you -- I would wear a 5 carater in a HEARTBEAT if I could afford it!

And regarding "what is OK to spend"? Well, to me, that depends on your budget and you and your husband's comfort level. You don't want to spend *so much* that you regret it, or take money away from life's *necessities*... but beyond that... it's all good!

You can't take it with you!!!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:51:40 PM
Author: violet3
Oh Dreamer, I am sorry you are feeling this way - i follow your threads often, and it does seem like you are always looking for the next project/stone/ring as soon as you have one completed (but i love following your projects!).

For me, it''s pretty simple - there is no money to be spent

. So, when I got engaged, I thought hard about what i would want to wear eventually (i.e. not just while engaged, but way down the road). From there, I realized I''d always wanted an eternity band because i just love the look. So, that''s what we picked from the start - a little untraditional, but very cost effective (more so than a solitaire would have been and i knew i''d never be happy with the size we could afford). I''ve never been sorry and i love looking at my ring. Sometimes I wish it was bigger, but only for a minute - i just love the sparkle, and there''s not really a comparison to other people''s erings, because mine is not really comparable.

For you, it seems that you are always stretchinig to get whatever the next size is that you can afford, rather than what you WANT overall. Would it be at all possible to imagine what you really want overall, and then save for it, even if it for a REALLY long time? maybe that''s not a good suggestion, but perhaps the (relatively) minor incriments you have been acquiring just arent'' enough to quench your diamond thirst?

either way, i agree with maybe laying off the SMTR threads - it''s just too tempting sometimes!!!!

It is funny, I start a lot of threads about things but have actually only made three purchases since joining PS -- my original and first diamond (.80ct RB), then my current upgrade (1.17ct RB) and my baby ring. I also have a chared-prong diamond band much like your lovely eternity that was my original wedding ring!

Or maybe three purchases is a lot!

I think the idea of saving for what I really want is a good thing though, because I agree that it is only a deal or money well spent when you get *exactly* what you want!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:57:22 PM
Author: EBree

Probably. I suspect PS- particularly the SMTR section- is the leading cause of upgrade fever. I''m the only one of my friends and family who knows this forum exists, and not one of them has ever (to my knowledge) upgraded. In fact, I didn''t even know it was done until I joined.

My cure? Having a baby.

A bigger diamond or blingier setting just isn''t practical at this point in my life, and won''t be for a long time. It might never be. Imagine a three-sided pave Leon smeared with baby poo or pureed carrots.

It''d never get worn. Any extra money we have is going to hospital bills, savings, or a down payment on a house.

I am currently having something made to replace my last ring because it, too, just wasn''t practical. But we aren''t spending any extra money on it, and to the horror of many here, I''m sure, I technically downgraded. I took quite a while to think about what I really wanted, and since I made the decision, I haven''t looked back. I''m cured- for now.

I tried that and it hasn''t really helped! LOL! A simple solitaire seems to hold up pretty well to poop and carrots and puke, I still wear it everyday even around the house! haha... I love my ring. But it looks better after a little bath thats for sure... Still, you may be cured but I really want to see your new ring!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 3:05:11 PM
Author: MC
May most of us have addictive personalities and need something to fixate on. If you can find another (less expensive!) passion and participate in other forums, you may find another way to distract yourself. I did that with a makeup board for about a year. . .unfortunetly, I have drawers of makeup. . .enough to last me 10 lifetimes, but I found a side outlet. . .when I came back to PS, I never quite found myself as obsessed any more.

I suspect that when I go back to work that will help a lot. For the last couple of years I have had a job that left me a lot of free time (post-doc researcher) and have been on maternity leave, so when I start my professor job this January that will hopefully occupy my mind a little more!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 3:16:54 PM
Author: LtlFirecracker

I was going to say, wait until the baby starts walking and see if you want to upgrade. My best friend has really small hands. Her e-ring is just over 1 ct, but it looks like a 2 ct stone on her. She never wears it. Between working as a PHD in a lab and her 3 mo old it was not practical, and just kept getting in the way.

I don''t have an e-ring yet, but I know I can''t deal with a stone bigger than my sapphire RHR (6.6mm) because it would get in the way of my work. Your everyday jewelry should be practical enough to wear everyday! I know other people have different lifestyles and can handle bigger jewelry.

Hmmmm so far my ring has been fine for everyday... I don''t do much with my hands in my job so no issue there. Except typing and grading papers! LOL!

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 10/6/2009 8:00:53 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 10/6/2009 2:14:05 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

I don''t know what will make you happy or satisfy your wants; all I know is larger did not make me any ''happier'': and if the truth be told if I could, I''d downsize or unload my 6.12ctw ER and just keep my asscher eternity ring. Recently I have gotten rid of my large diamond pieces (earrings, pendats, bracelets) because of nonuse. Great satisfaction received in that. I am wanting what I have, and it''s all good.

cheers--Sharon

I too sometimes think that a simple eternity band is the way to go. I would hate to see you unload your beautiful ER though! It is a stunner!

HI:

How kind! An eternity is quite versatile.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 3:18:03 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I didn''t have any input picking out my ring, and sometimes I dream of upgrades, just because it sounds like fun to hunt a diamond!

But when I''m feeling a little dissatisfied, I remind myself how lucky I am to have such a gorgeous ring, it''s huge compared to that of most of the women in his family. If I''m feeling the DSS really badly, I have a cute cz ring that''s 2ct that I''ll wear. It has me going back to my original ering in no time, just because I realize that it''s actually too big for me!

I also have a vintage .25ct emerald ering set that I''m wearing as a RHR, and so in comparison, my ering is huge, hehe.

Your set is lovely, I just looked at it... but your little 4.5 fingers make it look like a 1.7 would look on my sixe 6! LOL! Your setting in proportion is what I would like my ring to look like with my etenrity band. And so there is where I wonder whether a simple re-set would solve my desire?? But then I don''t want to spend money on a reset if I am going to upgrade. And so it goes...

I totally think you are right about comparing it to a smaller diamond to cure DSS. I have a .6ct and it looks so teensy next to my larger diamond! Maybe the cure is 2 rings

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 3:59:33 PM
Author: D&T
oh DD,,, I know what your feeling, only my problem right now is just the stupid setting. I haven''t quite been satisfied, I love the size of my diamond so I won''t be upgrading the stone, but I can''t get the setting quite right, so every few months I seem to be ''resetting'' wasting a lot of money! when I was pregnant, all I wore was a plain gold band, and was totally fine. I have been on the setting hunt since Feb 2007 and still have not had success. I have folders and tons of pictures of what I *Think* I might like, but then I factor my lifestyle and whether I''m really a chunky girl or an e ring and wedding band... Uh when you find the cure,,,, please let me know too

Wasting money is one of my big fears when it comes to this whole process, because if I am not happy with it I regret it for a long time! Thankfully I have not felt I wasted money in the last few years... but what about in the futur? That is why it is so hard!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 10/6/2009 4:01:57 PM
Author: dragonfly411
Dreamer - go to the mall.... look at all the diamonds there.... you''ll be happy after that.

Yes, it is an eye opener that is for sure!

 

[Laila619]

Dreamer, as soon as I get my new ring, I will post pics for ya. We're about the same ring size too IIRC (6).

I would maybe try a halo reset for your stone. Everyone I know who got a halo has no regrets, and their stones look just huge!

 

[litebrite]

I took a break from PS for about 2 weeks. I also had a lot of work at the time. It helped. That and the credit card bill.

 

[Gailey]

Date: 10/6/2009 2:14:05 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

I don''t know what will make you happy or satisfy your wants; all I know is larger did not make me any ''happier'': and if the truth be told if I could, I''d downsize or unload my 6.12ctw ER and just keep my asscher eternity ring. Recently I have gotten rid of my large diamond pieces (earrings, pendats, bracelets) because of nonuse. Great satisfaction received in that. I am wanting what I have, and it''s all good.

cheers--Sharon

Well heck honey, you should have said, I''d have swapped my garnet for your monster in a heartbeat!

 

[Gailey]

Date: 10/6/2009 6:12:50 PM
Author: isaku5

Date: 10/6/2009 2:14:05 PM
Author: canuk-gal
HI:

I don''t know what will make you happy or satisfy your wants; all I know is larger did not make me any ''happier'': and if the truth be told if I could, I''d downsize or unload my 6.12ctw ER and just keep my asscher eternity ring. Recently I have gotten rid of my large diamond pieces (earrings, pendats, bracelets) because of nonuse. Great satisfaction received in that. I am wanting what I have, and it''s all good.

cheers--Sharon

If my memory is reliable, I think you had some fabulous diamond pieces, Sharon. Was it a matter of ''smart sizing'' your collection?

I''m interested in your methodology as I''d like to smart size my jewellery wardrobe in order to afford the condo with a water view (or something similar) that we saw a couple of weeks ago. Niiiiiiiiice

Well whatcha got Isabel, cos I got the condo with the waterfront. Pink diamonds and I''ll throw in Mr Gailey too!

 

[violet3]

Date: 10/6/2009 8:09:14 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 10/6/2009 2:51:40 PM
Author: violet3
Oh Dreamer, I am sorry you are feeling this way - i follow your threads often, and it does seem like you are always looking for the next project/stone/ring as soon as you have one completed (but i love following your projects!).

For me, it's pretty simple - there is no money to be spent

. So, when I got engaged, I thought hard about what i would want to wear eventually (i.e. not just while engaged, but way down the road). From there, I realized I'd always wanted an eternity band because i just love the look. So, that's what we picked from the start - a little untraditional, but very cost effective (more so than a solitaire would have been and i knew i'd never be happy with the size we could afford). I've never been sorry and i love looking at my ring. Sometimes I wish it was bigger, but only for a minute - i just love the sparkle, and there's not really a comparison to other people's erings, because mine is not really comparable.

For you, it seems that you are always stretchinig to get whatever the next size is that you can afford, rather than what you WANT overall. Would it be at all possible to imagine what you really want overall, and then save for it, even if it for a REALLY long time? maybe that's not a good suggestion, but perhaps the (relatively) minor incriments you have been acquiring just arent' enough to quench your diamond thirst?

either way, i agree with maybe laying off the SMTR threads - it's just too tempting sometimes!!!!

It is funny, I start a lot of threads about things but have actually only made three purchases since joining PS -- my original and first diamond (.80ct RB), then my current upgrade (1.17ct RB) and my baby ring. I also have a chared-prong diamond band much like your lovely eternity that was my original wedding ring!

Or maybe three purchases is a lot!

I think the idea of saving for what I really want is a good thing though, because I agree that it is only a deal or money well spent when you get *exactly* what you want!

Hi Dreamer! I hope i didn't offend you with my post

. I promise I wasn't judging at all, I just noticed lots of threads by you (and enjoyed them BTW). I agree three purchases is NOT a lot by any means, I just saw your posts and noticed that you were often wondering about switching settings/diamonds/etc.

I loved everything that you have purchased! I loved the solitaires, I LOVE the baby ring, and I loved the reset of the original ering with the sapphire/ec diamonds in the second setting you had made.

I only mentioned saving, because I think the differential between what you have now and a 1.7 (for example) would be so much different in size, it might give you that "ahhhhh....." moment, whereas a small upgrade might be good for now, but not different enough to give you the finality you are looking for.

If it's what you really want, and you have the money, I certainly don't think the money is wasted, especially if you'll be 100% happy with it. I know that is a hard thing to get your head around, and I would struggle with that too. There will always be other things you could spend your money on, but if you have the money to spend and it's not a sacrifice for you and the hubs, I think it would be well spent down the road.

p.s. Are you still thinking of the halo idea? I think that could work, but how would it go with your baby ring?

 

[iheartscience]

Hmmm...I've definitely suffered bouts of diamond fever, but the bottom line is I'm happy with my e-ring so I haven't changed it and I don't have any real desire to currently. I think if you are actually unhappy with your e-ring, you should change/upgrade it to something you're happy with. Now, if you change your ring and you still want to upgrade it, I'd say you need stay away from PS!

I'm the type of person who will always need an obsession/project or two. Right now, it's my new house. Before that, it was finishing school and planning my wedding. And before that, it was diamonds! (Plus fashion/clothes are an ongoing obsession for me.) Once I moved on to other projects my obsession with diamonds waned. However, if/when I do get the upgrade itch again and I really do want something new, I would do it. If you have the money and you've really thought it through, I don't think there's anything wrong with upgrading!

ETA if you've done a lot of smaller projects to satiate your desire for a bigger diamond, I think you should quit doing smaller projects and just save! I always try to remind myself of that...if you save all the money you use to tide yourself over, you can get the real thing sooner!

 

[cindygenit]

Fortunately i have no upgrade fever for my e-ring. But i am constantly looking for upgrading my RHR!!!! AARGH

I created a new hobby for myself so that i would stop looking at the SMTR and RT, and that hobby is baking. Yes.... FI and I gained a few pounds so I am now looking for a new hobby

I''m a bit torn between having a nice RHR to wear and having more money in the bank which makes me feel happy...The jeweller I am woking with for my upgrade has now stopped answering my emails. Maybe he''s sick of my ridiculous demands!! LOL

 

[AGBF]

Date: 10/6/2009 1:57:39 PM
Author:dreamer_dachsie

Is walking away from PS the only real cure?

I keep looking down at my fat fingers and wondering if losing weight is another option! I am currently a size 6 on the ring finger of both hands. If I lost weight I know my left could be a 5 1/2 or a 5 1/4 as it once was. I am not sure how much of a difference that would make, but it might make my current solitaire look a tiny bit bigger . I wish I had my daughter''s tiny fingers. Hers are very long and thin. I think her ring finger is a 3 1/2! Her feet are also long and thin-a size 9 (mine are a 7 1/2). Her feet got to be the size of mine when she was in the third grade!

AGBF

 

[Lurchie]

I haven''t read all the responses so I AIA if I repeat anything.

2 thoughts, one is a quote from Silence of the Lambs: "We covet the things we see every day." It''s a weird quote to remember, but it applies to both DSS and serial killers, apparently!

Thought #2: Is there a Nordstroms near you? For $28 you can get an awesome CZ (am I allowed to say this?) ring to wear around the house until either the itch goes away or you save up enough for the real thing.

 

[tlh]

Date: 10/7/2009 12:47:31 PM
Author: Lurchie
I haven''t read all the responses so I AIA if I repeat anything.

2 thoughts, one is a quote from Silence of the Lambs: ''We covet the things we see every day.'' It''s a weird quote to remember, but it applies to both DSS and serial killers, apparently!

Thought #2: Is there a Nordstroms near you? For $28 you can get an awesome CZ (am I allowed to say this?) ring to wear around the house until either the itch goes away or you save up enough for the real thing.

ROTFL!

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

I just recently became cured. I bought a beautiful 1.25 carat RB that had the H&A and Ideal cut that I dreamed of. I dreamed of owning one because I frequent forums in which they are highly valued and so I started to think I needed one. And then I had to I had to sell a lot of jewelry to pay for the ring because I am not wealthy. I found out REALLY what my second hand diamonds were worth to those willing to buy them. It scared me realizing that ALL my collection is worth a fraction of what I paid for it. I am now cured!!!!!!!! I love my new ring. Usually I get a new ring and love it for a few minutes, hours and then start the hunt all over again. I can honestly say I do not want to buy any more rings. It is an amazing feeling. I do like to look at other peoples rings though.

Good luck,
Lisa

 

[D&T]

Date: 10/7/2009 10:56:41 PM
Author: LisaRN
I just recently became cured. I bought a beautiful 1.25 carat RB that had the H&A and Ideal cut that I dreamed of. I dreamed of owning one because I frequent forums in which they are highly valued and so I started to think I needed one. And then I had to I had to sell a lot of jewelry to pay for the ring because I am not wealthy. I found out REALLY what my second hand diamonds were worth to those willing to buy them. It scared me realizing that ALL my collection is worth a fraction of what I paid for it. I am now cured!!!!!!!! I love my new ring. Usually I get a new ring and love it for a few minutes, hours and then start the hunt all over again. I can honestly say I do not want to buy any more rings. It is an amazing feeling. I do like to look at other peoples rings though.

Good luck,
Lisa

I want to be in the same highlighted boat too... I just concluded on my final (for real this time

) setting, but it won''t happen for a little while - but having made this decision and having something to look forward to has really made me feel more at peace now

.

 

[risingsun]

When I joined PS, my center stone was .80 ct. I upgraded my center stone to 1.23 ct and upgraded my setting, as well. Within a year, I developed a bad case of DSS. I replaced my center stone with a 1.62 ct. That was in 10/08. By this summer, I was wanting a bigger diamond. To get the look I wanted, I would have needed a stone >2 ct, which was beyond my budget. I made a decision to reset the diamond into a halo semimount. I am so thrilled that I did. It has given me the finger coverage that I desire and my diamond performs beautifully in this setting

I may never "completely" get over DSS, but I feel that this reset is something I can be happy with for a long time to come. I have no longing to make any changes. I told my jeweler that I think that this is my forever ring

This may be an option for you, as well

 

[gailrmv]

For a while I had upgrade fever. I really don''t anymore. I spend a lot less time on PS in general and hardly any time on SMTR. Also, I guess having a kiddo changed my focus. Oh, also I got into colored stones as my jewelry hobby! I would definitely love to have a bigger ideal cut center stone, but when I think about what it would cost, it just doesn''t seem worth it in the scheme of things.