I keep shooting myself in the foot!

[ckrickett]

So my boyfriend and myself have been together almost 4 years and recently we decided, heck why not tie the knot (we are trying to have a baby, own a business together, live together....so although things are out of sequence I feel pretty good about it,and I love him to bits).

I originally was going to buy my own ring (because I wanted to), but his mother, my family, and himself were all pretty mortified by that idea, so his mother gave me a BEAUTIFUL heirloom ring, that will be my engagement ring (I do love the idea of a hand me down too).

ANYWAYS, That sparkly little sucker has been sitting in my jewellery box for 2 months now.

To get to where I shoot myself in the foot. Since the ring, and the fact that we will be engaged is no secret, my partner has decided the engagement must be shrouded in complete mystery, suspense and whole lot of meaning. Which I am very touched by. But my big ole mouth keeps foiling his plans!

Every time he has an idea of how to do it. I'm either in the room looking at the ring (I can't NOT look, its so darn pretty) when he is trying t retrieve it. OR I just blatantly ruin the surprise. Like, oh I don't know, when he asked me what I want for my birthday (it's in a week) and I say "You don;t need to BUY me anything, a proposal would be really fun and touching"... and he just gets this look on his face.I'm like, "Oh no", and he is all like "Yup, but not anymore".

GROAN!!!!!!!

 

[dragonfly411]

HAHA! Ckrickett, I think you have to make a rule like I have, and pretend it doesn't exist. I gave SO a few rules when the ring was ready. Not on a vacation weekend we're taking with friends (too many stupid half drunk people), SOON, Don't put it in food or beverage (he was mortified by that), and not at a wedding he'll be in in a few weeks. I'm afraid it'll be after this month, which is sad, but I'm farm sitting currently, and he has the guy trip to fish the weekend I get done, then the wedding then off to be with stupid people for a weekend. I say that with all the love possible for them, they just all get pretty retarded when they're all together. So I just try to pretend it isn't there. I don't look at it (even though it's pretty much my favorite thing ever), I don't talk about it. I just go about my way and make myself not mention it.

 

[madelise]

Oh don't feel badly. If he was a good enough actor, he'd be able to save himself even if you did accidentally guess it. I myself have discovered and ruined my partner's plans, too. I feel bad sometimes, and guilty… but then I realized it's his fault for 1) Lagging it. The longer he lags, the more chances I get to discover his "secrets", and 2) not hiding his plans better.



BUT… since you're always grabby hands with the sparkly ANYWAY… how about sharing some blingporn?

And then tell him to take the ring away, and hide it where you can't find it anymore. Then put yourself on a SHUTUP month, where you're not allowed to bring up anything engagement at all.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Ckrickett,
I feel your pain too. We have had the ring for almost a year (I just brought it in last night AGAIN for another 6 month inspection) and I can’t help but snoop and look at it. He keeps it in his dresser!!! SO warned me that I need to stop doing that when he gets home from vacation (Guys fishing trip in the woods for 10 days…he'll be home Sunday) or I am going to ruin the surprise.

Since we inherited the diamond and I chose the setting, he too is very ADAMENT about a surprise- Which I am very happy about. I would love a nice story to tell our friends and family. Hopefully that surprise happens SOON.

If I were you, I would go take a few pictures of the ring to tide you over until he proposes (and post here! ). Give him the ring to tuck away safely until he is ready and not talk about it. The sooner you put him in control, the sooner you will have it on your finger! Good luck!

 

[pandabee]

I agree, we need pictures!!!!!

But I totally feel your pain..I am in the same boat. We (rather I) bought the ring last year (in September!) preloved, and have been sitting on it since then. I "surrendered" the ring to him about February to hold onto for when he's ready, but realistically we've been waiting since May when we both graduated. I have been trying my absolute best not to bring it up!! We talk about our future and even talk about stuff we want at our wedding, but when it comes to any when/where/how on the actual engagement, he is all mum!

 

[TooPatient]

Quit looking already!

I'm going to die of the suspense if you keep looking and he keeps not hiding his plans!


Do you have a room that you really don't have any other reason to be in? If so, have him move it in there and then you just don't go in the room! Even if it is a place he doesn't usually go he can throw you off by going in every day (even after removing the ring to set up for the proposal) so you never know when he takes it out.
And tell him to GET ON WITH IT! The longer he sits around after making a plan, the more likely you are to find out.