I just don''t feel well anymore...

[Steel]

Thanks for sharing your story Marian. I am sorry for your current ill health and wish you ever possible comfort.

 

[Scorpioanne]

Date: 1/31/2010 1:53:26 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 1/31/2010 1:43:16 PM
Author: risingsun
For now, please accept a most sincere and grateful group thank you for kind thoughts, wishes and prayers on my behalf. I have tried to write some individual responses, but I am unable to do so at this time. I want you to know that I love you all and feel very blessed that you have taken the time to express your feelings to me. If you see me on other parts of PS, it is to find some distraction for myself and my tears. I need to take this all in and then come back to this thread and continue. I trust that I will be able to do this soon.

Marian,

Please don''t worry about writing individual responses, we are glad to support you and our main concern is not to put any undue pressure on you in anyway so that Pricescope can give you some distraction.

Hang in there my friend, we are here for you. xoxoxo

I agreee completely, we care about you and you don''t have to thank us for it. I have to say that this is a pretty special community, we are lukcy to have found it and one another.

 

[radiantquest]

I am sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you. It seems that you are dealing with a whole lot of pain. I wonder if liquid pain killers may be better for your belly and not trigger the spasms.

 

[iheartscience]

I''m so sorry to hear about all your health problems...I can''t imagine how hard it would be to deal with just one of them, let alone all of them. My thoughts are with you!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

I am so sorry. May god help lift the weight that is on your shoulders.

Sending my prayers and thoughts..

 

[tyty333]

Oh Marian I had no idea

. Just doesnt seem fair that one person should have to deal with so much at once.
I hope that some (or better yet ALL) of it goes into remission so you get a break from the pain and spasms.
My thoughts are with you.

tyty

 

[April20]

I am so, so sorry you are having to cope with all of this. You are very brave to share this with us. I hope that all of our positive thoughts will travel to you.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 8:56:19 PM
Author: MissGotRocks
I must admit I've wondered about your health issues that have been alluded to from time to time. It is difficult enough to manage one chronic diagnosis; you've clearly got multiple ones! I am so sorry to hear of all of this.

Would any medications used to treat anxiety help the spasmodic symptoms that you experience? It would seem that there should be something other than pain medication to help alleviate the spasms. I'm sure that not feeling well everyday leads to being depressed as well. It sounds like it is a real juggling act to try and treat everything simultaneously. Do they not want to do surgery on the torn rotator cuff in your shoulder?

You seem such a happy, upbeat person and I'm sure you had a lot to offer to those you counseled. I hope that you will one day be able to work again. Perhaps you could have a private practice in your home that wouldn't be like a daily, full time job?

I am sorry for your troubles - being in constant pain and discomfort cannot be easy. Here's hoping that the doctors are constantly searching for ways to make your life more pain free. I think you've made a wise decision to share your situation. Sometimes being able to talk about things (and you know this better than any) helps to cope. Please don't hesitate to talk here and please don't feel that you have to bear this alone. We are here to listen!

I take antispasmodics, antianxiety and antidepressant meds to reduce the symptoms. They help, up to a point. The rotator cuff tear is relatively minor, but the bone spur on my shoulder is causing most of the problem in this area. My doctor doesn't want to resort to surgery, if the cortisone injections provide relief. Of course, he doesn't want to use them any more than necessary, due to side effects. These injections last much longer than the type they use for my back and jaws. It is definitly a juggling act to try to reduce pain in one area without causing it in another. I have tried to have a positive attitude, but the past month I've been on an emotional downturn. It didn't take much encouragement for me to finally reach out for some support and dust on this thread.

 

[D&T]

awww RS- I''m so sorry you are so ill

. I''ll be praying and thinking of you often sweetie. Thank you for keeping us posted.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 8:48:37 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I have migraines and TMJ and THAT is plenty of pain to deal with. I can''t imagine the constant pain you must feel. Could something like acupuncture, herbal remedies, MET, or other alternative treatments give some relief?


I''m so sorry to hear of your current situation and I pray that you find some relief very soon.

I''m sorry that you are dealing with migraines and TMJ. I have considered alternative therapies. What is MET? Several posters have suggested trying something along these lines. I will look into it and thank you for suggesting it.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 8:56:44 PM
Author: AGBF


You have not, ''overshared'', Marian. You have been holding this back for a very long time. I do not know if anyone is aware of how long you have been suffering from these problems. Once in a while you would hint at them in a posting, but never discuss the issue. I know you are a professional counselor, but as a person, you are very private. I think it is good to share some of your concerns in a place where people who care about you can support you.

Thank you for trusting us. You are dealing with very hard, reality issues.

Love,
Deb

I wanted thank you for encouraging me to start this thread, Deb. Evidently, you weren''t the only one who surmised that something was going on with me. I have been a PS member for some time, now. Sometimes, it is difficult for a therapist to reach out on her own behalf. I do trust the [plural] you to listen and care. You are a good friend.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 9:25:02 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Marian,
Thanks for sharing this with us. I admire you, and your spirit. You are facing a lot and yet do so with such grace. I will keep you in my prayers today and always.
I have severe neck pain, so can relate a bit, and I can''t tolerate pain meds either.


I pray things ease up for you going forward, I know what a tough road you are on.

Sharing this will help many, and in sharing will help you as well.

HUGE {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}

Lisa

Not being able to tolerate pain meds frightens me, Lisa. How are we supposed to go about our daily lives while in pain. I hope that your pain does not prevent you from living your life.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 9:43:53 PM
Author: whitby_2773
marian.

i wanted to know all the things you typed cause i''m your friend. wanted to know them because they''re true - and yet didn''t want to hear them because i didnt want them to be so.

i don''t know how you cope. i''m sorry - i know i should be all encouraging about this, but having only just heard - all i feel is sad. (i want to give you a hug and am frustrated that i can''t.) how do you juggle all this stuff? i have some gut issues that come from back trauma, and i know a little of the pain. but i can''t imagine what it''d be like to have that chronically, and not just to be able to open a bottle of pills and find sufficient relief from the pain that allows you to go on with your day. one thing i can tell you for sure is that it was a loss to the world of therapy when you retired from your line of work.

marian, i''m glad you''re on pricescope - you deserve diamonds. you deserve that rocking great ring you have on your hand and every joy that life can hold for you. you always bring such a WONDERFUL attitude - to every thread, every post - you''ve made *me* laugh out loud on more than one occasion - and your enthusiasm and kindness is startling, now that i have some context within which to place it.

you''re gracious, marian, you truly are. and it amazes me that you can be that way from where you''re currently sitting in life. i''m going to be praying for you - both giving thanks with a greater sense of awareness for you as a friend, and asking consistently for relief to come your way. relief and healing; as Hudson Hawk said - a brighter day tomorrow.

can you pls continue to TALK about this?? please don''t let this be the only time you discuss your health; having only just had the door to that part of your life opened, i don''t want it to close again. let''s walk this in some way - together, ok? or at least share some tears.

big, gentle hugs.

Dear Whitby~How do I respond to you. I know that you care. We have become dear friends and no one wants to learn that their friend is going through all of this. You are allowed to feel sad. Sometimes a friend just needs to get down into the muck with their friend who is in pain and help them get through that journey. I appreciate everything that you said about me. I know you will be by my side. You are a very special person.

 

[Gypsy]

I'm so sorry Marian. You are one of my favorite friends on here and to know you are in such pain chronically breaks my heart. I don't have any advice just wanted to offer my support and a big (but gentle) hug to you. I wish there was more I could do to help you. Know that you are in my thoughts and that you have a friend here. If I can do anything, please just ask. ((HUGS))

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

Marian, healing vibes across the miles.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Loves Vintage]

Marian - I''m very sorry that you are going through all of this. I wonder if something like hypnotherapy (essentially guided meditation) or some type of energy work might help you with pain management. I''ve seen some references to hypnotherapy and pain management on-line. It might help for you to be able to talk to someone too. If you were in CT, I''d have a great recommendation for you, but I gather that you are not.

I hope that you find some way to make your situation more comfortable and that you are surrounded by support. Lots of sparkly healing dust to you!!

 

[whitby_2773]

te:[/b] 1/31/2010 8:11:43 PM
Author: risingsun

Dear Whitby~How do I respond to you. I know that you care. We have become dear friends and no one wants to learn that their friend is going through all of this. You are allowed to feel sad. Sometimes a friend just needs to get down into the muck with their friend who is in pain and help them get through that journey. I appreciate everything that you said about me. I know you will be by my side. You are a very special person. [/quote]



ok lady - got it.

boots ON. ready to GO. you pick the direction, and i'll wade through it with you.

deal.

 

[kittybean]

Marian, I am so sorry to hear of your medical issues and all of the pain you are suffering. As someone who''s suffered from migraines and esophageal spasms, which can be unbearable on their own, I can only imagine how difficult things are for you right now.

I don''t have any helpful suggestions, but I do have lots of healing *DUST* for you. Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers. Don''t worry about "oversharing" here--we are your friends, and we are here for you. Tell us as much as you would like. I sincerely hope that you will begin feeling better soon.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/30/2010 10:05:19 PM
Author: LostSapphire
Thank you Marian, for sharing your story. I have some idea of how hard it is to ''come out'' to my friends or PS about health issues. For what it''s worth, it helped me a LOT just knowing that there were people out there in cyber-land who could give me a hug almost any time I needed it. The pain can sometimes push so much out of our lives, that it seems as though there is nothing left but our self and the pain.

I actually found the support from PS to be easier to receive than those in real life. IRL I felt the need to explain, explain, and explain my diagnosis. Here, it''s easy: I hurt. Can someone help? The myriad of responses is mind boggling: from concrete suggestions to specific treatments from experts in the field, to ongoing queries as to how I''m doing, to (one of my favourites) people posting puppy pics (thank you Gecko).

Your responses in my Monster threads told me a lot about you. I had a sense that you really, really understood the sense of exasperation and aloneness that pain can bring us.

I am sorry you are going through this right now, and hope that you can find some relief from it. Would I wish you a cure? Of course. But that''s not up to me. So I wish you relief, because it is in those moments, hours, days of relief, that allow us to handle the pain the rest of the time.

soft hugs to you.

LS

I remember that I did reveal some of my own stuff in your thread. I''m not surprised that you picked up on it. You are a role model for me. You got through a terrible ordeal. I will do my best to get through mine.

 

[MissGotRocks]

Date: 1/31/2010 7:50:03 PM
Author: risingsun

Date: 1/30/2010 8:56:19 PM
Author: MissGotRocks
I must admit I''ve wondered about your health issues that have been alluded to from time to time. It is difficult enough to manage one chronic diagnosis; you''ve clearly got multiple ones! I am so sorry to hear of all of this.

Would any medications used to treat anxiety help the spasmodic symptoms that you experience? It would seem that there should be something other than pain medication to help alleviate the spasms. I''m sure that not feeling well everyday leads to being depressed as well. It sounds like it is a real juggling act to try and treat everything simultaneously. Do they not want to do surgery on the torn rotator cuff in your shoulder?

You seem such a happy, upbeat person and I''m sure you had a lot to offer to those you counseled. I hope that you will one day be able to work again. Perhaps you could have a private practice in your home that wouldn''t be like a daily, full time job?

I am sorry for your troubles - being in constant pain and discomfort cannot be easy. Here''s hoping that the doctors are constantly searching for ways to make your life more pain free. I think you''ve made a wise decision to share your situation. Sometimes being able to talk about things (and you know this better than any) helps to cope. Please don''t hesitate to talk here and please don''t feel that you have to bear this alone. We are here to listen!

I take antispasmodics, antianxiety and antidepressant meds to reduce the symptoms. They help, up to a point. The rotator cuff tear is relatively minor, but the bone spur on my shoulder is causing most of the problem in this area. My doctor doesn''t want to resort to surgery, if the cortisone injections provide relief. Of course, he doesn''t want to use them any more than necessary, due to side effects. These injections last much longer than the type they use for my back and jaws. It is definitly a juggling act to try to reduce pain in one area without causing it in another. I have tried to have a positive attitude, but the past month I''ve been on an emotional downturn. It didn''t take much encouragement for me to finally reach out for some support and dust on this thread.

Talk to the doctor about increasing your anitdepressant. I know it won''t take care of your physical ails but it might help you emotionally to cope better. I''ve had several friends on them that were doing OK and suddenly seemed to hit a wall. I guess you develop a tolerance to them and increasing the dosage does seem to help.

I understand about the shoulder - that is a surgery that you would want to avoid if necessary but it would be nice to be able to rectify one problem. I am so sorry that you are suffering so - it is hard not to be able to help in a constructive way. The beauty of PS is that it has so many members from so many varied backgrounds - I just hope that someone is able to point you in a better and more helpful direction.

Please don''t stop talking to us - we are all more than willing to help in any way that we can.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/31/2010 12:33:08 AM
Author: Sundial
Marian I don''t post as much as I used to, but I always remember you and how helpful you have been to so many on this forum. And no matter how long I have been away you have always welcomed me back and made me feel as if you were glad to see me posting again. We have also shared our love of Hearts on Fire. I think of you as a very special person and I am so very sorry for everything you are going through. My son has Crohn''s disease and it has been so hard dealing with his single chronic health condition that I can''t even imagine how you are coping with all of the problems you are having. It took great courage to post your story here, but as you know it can be therapeutic to share and you always have people here who are concerned about you and your well being. Pricescope can''t replace your family and friends, but it can be a place where you can go to escape your troubles or share them. I wish you well my friend.

You are one of the first friends that I made on PS. It always brightens my day to see your posts. So many people have now encouraged me to speak out and "keep talking." I will try to do so. Although it makes me feel vulnerable, it also helps me feel supported. It was well worth the risk.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/31/2010 1:59:19 AM
Author: Regular Guy
Marian, I''m so very sorry to hear of problems with your health. I''m not sure if this would make a difference...but...last year I was diagnosed with a serious condition (bladder cancer), and although I''ve been ''cleared'' of this from a second opinion at Hopkins, I just went to be monitored, and understand I''ll still need to be monitored for some time. Anyway, I was directed to a second opinion by this resource, and you may find it helpful. Others who have related medical conditions may provide advice on point that will be helpful.

Very best of wishes; you''re in our thoughts,

Ira~I am so sorry to hear about the medical problems you have had to cope with. I had no idea. Please take of yourself. Thank you for the link. I will take a look at the site. I wish you well and send my thoughts and prayers to you.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/31/2010 3:40:04 AM
Author: Lorelei
Marian,

I have been concerned about you for some time now, so thank you for sharing- that took a lot of courage. I wish there was something practical and more I could do to help but I know there are two things I can do....Be your friend as always and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you, many people care and are supporting you 110%

You know I am often online at times when it is quiet here, so if you need to chat just post and I am often around.

I guess it''s not likely that I could hide much from you, Lorelei. Thank you for your support and offer to be here for me. I often have difficulty sleeping and you are likely to see me here at odd hours. My PS friends are truly amazing people.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/31/2010 9:19:02 AM
Author: sonomacounty
Bummer.

I hear you. Fibro sufferer here too. Shoulder problems too. Every day is a struggle.

I am a medical person who also works in a pain management center.

My thoughts for you (now I don''t know which meds are contraindicated by your GI/other conditions or meds):

neurontin
cymbalta
topomax (also used for pain patients and I don''t mean just migraine)
massage therapy
chiropractor
stay thin and get regular light exercise (walking outside)

ultram for pain when needed, B6, B12

I do all of the above. Not a fix but it lets me work.

Big soft hugs. Tell me what you think.

Thank you for your suggestions. I am taking Topomax aka stupidmax. It''s a wonder that I can remember my own name. I have tried Cymbalta, but my body doesn''t like having its norepinephrine messed with. I''ve just come off and am still having brain zaps. I''ll speak with my pain clinic about your suggestions.

 

[hlmr]

I am so sorry to hear of your suffering. I can''t imagine how difficult and frustrating it must be to be in chronic pain. Strength and healing vibes to you....

 

[risingsun]

To everyone else that I didn''t respond to individually, please know that your support and kind wishes are being held in my heart. I couldn''t have asked for a more loving response from my PS friends and family. Thank you all for being here for me.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 1/31/2010 10:09:48 PM
Author: MissGotRocks

Date: 1/31/2010 7:50:03 PM
Author: risingsun

Date: 1/30/2010 8:56:19 PM
Author: MissGotRocks
I must admit I've wondered about your health issues that have been alluded to from time to time. It is difficult enough to manage one chronic diagnosis; you've clearly got multiple ones! I am so sorry to hear of all of this.

Would any medications used to treat anxiety help the spasmodic symptoms that you experience? It would seem that there should be something other than pain medication to help alleviate the spasms. I'm sure that not feeling well everyday leads to being depressed as well. It sounds like it is a real juggling act to try and treat everything simultaneously. Do they not want to do surgery on the torn rotator cuff in your shoulder?

You seem such a happy, upbeat person and I'm sure you had a lot to offer to those you counseled. I hope that you will one day be able to work again. Perhaps you could have a private practice in your home that wouldn't be like a daily, full time job?

I am sorry for your troubles - being in constant pain and discomfort cannot be easy. Here's hoping that the doctors are constantly searching for ways to make your life more pain free. I think you've made a wise decision to share your situation. Sometimes being able to talk about things (and you know this better than any) helps to cope. Please don't hesitate to talk here and please don't feel that you have to bear this alone. We are here to listen!

I take antispasmodics, antianxiety and antidepressant meds to reduce the symptoms. They help, up to a point. The rotator cuff tear is relatively minor, but the bone spur on my shoulder is causing most of the problem in this area. My doctor doesn't want to resort to surgery, if the cortisone injections provide relief. Of course, he doesn't want to use them any more than necessary, due to side effects. These injections last much longer than the type they use for my back and jaws. It is definitly a juggling act to try to reduce pain in one area without causing it in another. I have tried to have a positive attitude, but the past month I've been on an emotional downturn. It didn't take much encouragement for me to finally reach out for some support and dust on this thread.

Talk to the doctor about increasing your anitdepressant. I know it won't take care of your physical ails but it might help you emotionally to cope better. I've had several friends on them that were doing OK and suddenly seemed to hit a wall. I guess you develop a tolerance to them and increasing the dosage does seem to help.

I understand about the shoulder - that is a surgery that you would want to avoid if necessary but it would be nice to be able to rectify one problem. I am so sorry that you are suffering so - it is hard not to be able to help in a constructive way. The beauty of PS is that it has so many members from so many varied backgrounds - I just hope that someone is able to point you in a better and more helpful direction.

Please don't stop talking to us - we are all more than willing to help in any way that we can.

You are welcome to "point me" anytime. I was in the process of changing medications and it did not go well. We have reversed the process and I'm hoping the effects will be felt within the next few weeks. Tonight I had an esophogael spasm during dinner. It adds insult to the "injury" of the rash I woke up to this morning. What a day

 

[Lauren8211]

I''m so sorry to hear of your pain and suffering Marian. Thank you for sharing with us.

I hope that you find answers soon so that you can live your life without all of the pain!

*dust* for healing and positive thoughts coming your way!

 

[beaujolais]

--- I have tried Cymbalta, but my body doesn''t like having its norepinephrine messed with. I''ve just come off and am still having brain zaps. ---


IMO, I think they start people with WAY, WAY too large of a dose and also have people come off too abruptly when they take them off - with most any of these meds. That is why some of the meds seem problematic. Tapered up or down MUCH more gradually is so, so, so much easier on people.

More soft hugs. Get lots of rest.

 

[purselover]

I just wanted to say my thoughts and well wishes are with you, you sound like such a fighter and I hope you''re able to find some relief soon and move forward with a pain free life.