I have to admit, even though we''re not "officially trying,"

[Anastasia]

I loved feeling the baby move inside of me, and was just fascinated by the whole process. I certainly had some times of discomfort, but not too much. I also delivered my first 5 weeks early, and my second 3 weeks early. Fortunately, neither one had any complications. My third was born on her due date. So I only experienced the last couple of weeks of pregnancy one time! Waiting around at the end got a little old, but overall I enjoyed the process.

Maybe it''s selective amnesia, but I really remember enjoying it!

 

[ephemery1]

Haha... this thread is making me laugh... love all the different perspectives. LitChick, my friend was pregnant with twins a few years ago and I remember her telling me "anybody who tells you they love being pregnant, either just likes the attention... or is lying!" She wanted 2 kids, so she was glad to end up with both after just one pregnancy! I'm only 5.5 weeks along so haven't gone through any violent morning sickness or constant aches and pains yet... but so far pregnancy has been a bit jarring, to say the least. It's an odd feeling to realize that your body is not your own anymore... everything you do, everything you eat... all has to take into account this little bundle of cells growing inside.

We'll definitely find out the sex (if baby's willing to give it up!) when possible... I love the idea of making my baby as "real" as possible as soon as possible. Being able to call him/her by name, decorate accordingly, etc. I totally respect people wanting to be surprised, but it does make me laugh when people say "but there are so few surprises left in life!" Who cares how many surprises are left in life? Just because something is a surprise, doesn't make it better! Personally, I much prefer informed anticipation.

For me, having something to look forward to is great, but knowing exactly WHAT you have to look forward to is even more fun!

Good luck to everyone trying and everyone just dreaming for now!

 

[Pandora II]

Anastasia, can I ask what back-surgery you had and why you couldn't have an epi?

I've had a laminectomy and discectomy - my neurosurgeon said a epi would be fine, but that they will have to fine tune it because of the large dose of analgesia I am on permanently (and have no option about stopping).

Now I'm wondering if the gynae will say no. I have an incredibly low pain threshold due to my pain sensors being super-screwed up and hyper-sensitive, so I'm basically relying on a mega-epidural rather than an elective c-section.

FI and I are planning to start TTC in September/October this year. We made the decision last week, and having been up and down about the idea for years I'm actually feeling really excited about the thought of a baby (tries not to think of sleepless nights and 18 years of having to get up early rather than sleep in at weekends...

) - although the whole birth idea doesn't sound like fun.


We will definitely being finding out the gender as soon as possibly. Having been called Fred until I was born, and then being given toy guns and cowboy suits for christmas and birthdays for years, I'm sure made me the person I am ...

 

[LitigatorChick]

Pandora - I don''t know the details of your medical issues, and I am definately not a doctor, but I would urge you to look at other methods, besides drugs, to deal with the pain of labour. There are lots of options out there, and you will be shocked what your body is capable of.

 

[diamondfan]

I too did not want to be surprised. I wanted to focus on names, get the room ready...and talk to my baby in his name. Not all people want to know, and I respect it.

I had an epidural. You do not get a prize for going without any assistance. You never know what you can manage, and the body is an amazing thing, the adrenalin flowing really helps you manage, but still, some people have a low threshold. I do not like the I love Lucy knock you out and next thing you know you are holding your baby, but if you are suffering, that stinks too. Honestly you can miss your window for pain management and it can be really tough and draining from that point on. My friend was adamant about not having an epidural, and her labor went into many hours. She finally could NOT have it when she wanted it. She gave birth and was in agony, and told me later that it made it a bit harder to bond, though she of course did later on. She just was soo wiped and drained the first few days.

I gained 75 pounds three times and lost it all. I was back in a size two three times, even in my late 30''s. Some health issues lately have caused me to be up a bit, (chronic pain and injuries), but I have lost some and am trying to get a bit more off, just because I feel better that way. I looked better in my late 30''s after my third...even though I was thin in high school I had no shape at all and was not a healthy eater. Now, I eat healthy foods and try to get some activity in, as I am learning to live with chronic pain. I know I will get back there..but do not think that having a kid means you cannot look awesome. BUT, pregnancy is a time that an alien is taking over your body...bloat, stretch marks, gas, reflux, the list goes on...you do get your body back if you want it, but as you watch it expand and grow it can be mystifying and scary. I remember looking at my belly and thinking, you have two options for getting out of here, and both freak me out!!!!

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 2/10/2008 6:16:12 PM
Author: ephemery1
Haha... this thread is making me laugh... love all the different perspectives. LitChick, my friend was pregnant with twins a few years ago and I remember her telling me ''anybody who tells you they love being pregnant, either just likes the attention... or is lying!''

ephemery, that is a really funny quote. I am wondering if I have selective amnesia? I do remember some discomfort, but overall the memory is a good one.

I''m sure being pregnant with twins makes everything worse (two times worse, oy!)

 

[Anastasia]

Date: 2/10/2008 10:10:35 PM
Author: Pandora II
Anastasia, can I ask what back-surgery you had and why you couldn''t have an epi?

I''ve had a laminectomy and discectomy - my neurosurgeon said a epi would be fine, but that they will have to fine tune it because of the large dose of analgesia I am on permanently (and have no option about stopping).

Now I''m wondering if the gynae will say no. I have an incredibly low pain threshold due to my pain sensors being super-screwed up and hyper-sensitive, so I''m basically relying on a mega-epidural rather than an elective c-section.

FI and I are planning to start TTC in September/October this year. We made the decision last week, and having been up and down about the idea for years I''m actually feeling really excited about the thought of a baby (tries not to think of sleepless nights and 18 years of having to get up early rather than sleep in at weekends...

) - although the whole birth idea doesn''t sound like fun.


We will definitely being finding out the gender as soon as possibly. Having been called Fred until I was born, and then being given toy guns and cowboy suits for christmas and birthdays for years, I''m sure made me the person I am ...

Pandora,

I have twelve vertebrae fused in my lower back to correct scoliosis. If your neurosurgeon said an epi would be fine, I''m sure that is the case. My problem is that because of the fusion between the vertebrae, the anesthesiologist was not able to find the "pocket" where the needle goes. I did try it with my second delivery, but it did not take.

I would recommend consulting with the anesthesiologist before you go to deliver and let him take a look at your medical records.

I agree with diamondfan - there is no prize for going without assistance. The only benefit I can see is that you are not numb after the delivery. I would have gladly put up with some numbness after for some numbness during! That being said, I had blessedly short labors with numbers 2 and 3, and only pushed for about 5 minutes with both of them. So while I had a pretty good experience with a "no epi" delivery, I think I was very lucky with a short duration.

 

[LitigatorChick]

I personally feel that there are a lot of benefits to drug-free labour. The point I wanted to make is that there are other options available, other than drugs, and once you consider them all, make a choice. You might decide an epi is for you - you might not. I really like Dr. Sears "The Baby Book", and it has some good discussions on this issue.

 

[diamondfan]

Anastasia, I know! My third was much easier at the end, the doctor told me not to push yet and I was not...he was sliding out!! Still, everyone feels pain differently and can tolerate different things. They also do not know, even after having a child, how labor will be in each instance, though thankfully it tends to get easier! I do not feel less of a mother or whatnot since I had some pain meds. I really hate the judgement involved. It is not like one walks around saying, I did not have drugs during labor! It is just not something that typically comes up! I am not one to view someone else's situation via my own feelings. It is really about making an informed choice, but to me, the best information in the world does not apply til you are lying there trying to get the baby out of you safely. Things can change in an instant during labor, sometimes with potential dire issues coming up. Thankfully that is not the case most times but I have seen it happen. I also see that with breastfeeding. It works for some people and not for others, sometimes there are medical reasons why one cannot breastfeed. There are people who will unduly pressure you and make you feel like a failure if you cannot do it. My first was 6 weeks premature, had high bilirubin levels, and though his suck was strong, my milk, no matter what I ate or drank, was not coming in at all well. Also, his jaundice required that he drink a lot, and it happens that bilirubin binds better to formula than breast milk. Nursing was not working for me physically and his health issue dictated bottle feeding as well. Was I a bit disappointed? Yes. But, my baby needed something and I did it. At the point, my feelings of wanting to nurse did not really matter. I knew the health benefits that are discussed, and wanted it to work, but had to change gears quickly, which I did. No one should make you feel badly about wanting meds, about your nursing decisions, about cloth versus disposable diapers...it is your baby and your choice.
Anastasia, I also had two preemies, actually three. My first was 6 weeks, my second 3 weeks and my third also almost three weeks. Just odd, though I had some health issues with the first and sort of knew I might not every carry all the way to term, which I was told is really usually a guesstimate anyway as many women cannot always recall exactly when they conceived. I did, though, to the minute!

 

[diamondfan]

Pandora, my kids like to sleep in a bit! I am an insomniac who loves my sleep, so it is great for us! My youngest does stay up a bit later than most kids his age because of having two much older brothers. However, I have friends whose son is up at 6:00 am every day no matter what time he went to bed...Mine will go to be at 9:00 pm and sleep til 9:00 am which is not bad! So do not worry about it...you just never know!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 2/8/2008 12:40:31 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
The best part, Somethingshiny! Our boys were not in drab green and yellow, but sweet little boy chothes. My favorite was his ''Ladies'' Man'' t-shirt!!!

Hey now!

Hello...some people PREFER green and yellow over "boring" blue and pink! Hee hee. I have always prefered those two colors...I love yellow on babies although I think a lot of them don''t have the complexion to pull it off. One of my best colors when I was a tot was yellow, and the only dress my mom saved from my babyhood is a yellow one with "daddy''s little girl" on it.

One girl who was pregnant herself found out I wasn''t finding out was horrified. She exclaimed, "What then, is everything going to be green and yellow?" I just looked at her like, dude, is that SUCH an issue? I really don''t think the baby will bloody care! And I can buy other colors after s/he is born, ya know....

re: surprise - I LOVE not knowing. To me, there is no real reason to find out OTHER than if you are a planner/shopper and that''s what gives you joy (then of course, go for it!) It''s also preventative in terms of spending nutty amounts of money on stuff that your kid will probably never get to wear. Everytime I go into a shop, I see great deals on baby clothing, but I don''t buy it because I don''t know what I am having.

Oh, actually, there is another reason I can think about that someone told me that made sense. If either parent has a preference one way or another...it might be good to know in advance to mentally prep for it.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 2/11/2008 12:24:40 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 2/8/2008 12:40:31 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
The best part, Somethingshiny! Our boys were not in drab green and yellow, but sweet little boy chothes. My favorite was his ''Ladies'' Man'' t-shirt!!!

Hey now!

Hello...some people PREFER green and yellow over ''boring'' blue and pink! Hee hee. I have always prefered those two colors...I love yellow on babies although I think a lot of them don''t have the complexion to pull it off. One of my best colors when I was a tot was yellow, and the only dress my mom saved from my babyhood is a yellow one with ''daddy''s little girl'' on it.

One girl who was pregnant herself found out I wasn''t finding out was horrified. She exclaimed, ''What then, is everything going to be green and yellow?'' I just looked at her like, dude, is that SUCH an issue? I really don''t think the baby will bloody care! And I can buy other colors after s/he is born, ya know....

re: surprise - I LOVE not knowing. To me, there is no real reason to find out OTHER than if you are a planner/shopper and that''s what gives you joy (then of course, go for it!) It''s also preventative in terms of spending nutty amounts of money on stuff that your kid will probably never get to wear. Everytime I go into a shop, I see great deals on baby clothing, but I don''t buy it because I don''t know what I am having.

Oh, actually, there is another reason I can think about that someone told me that made sense. If either parent has a preference one way or another...it might be good to know in advance to mentally prep for it.

Point taken. I''m in the shopper camp! Love to dress my little man!!!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

RE: finding out the sex
I think it was really fun to be surprised. I don''t think it is fair to say you bond less if you don''t know the sex. I would have loved a son as much as I love my daughter. It shows a certain character trait to wait it out (not that there is anything wrong with finding out). When my doc held her up and said "it''s a girl" there was something special about that IMHO. Besides I am too realistic and wanted all the big stuff neutral for our next baby. So the shopping thing wasn''t an issue (though neutral clothes are not AS cute). I don''t know what we will do with the next baby but I don''t regret for ONE day not finding out her sex.

RE: drugs vs drug free labor
To each her own. I personally could not nor would not want to NOT have an epi. My dad is the smartest person I know and does this for a living so if gives me the go ahead I feel like it is safe. I don''t feel like I put myself or my baby at risk. Perhaps I did with an induction but she would have gotten sick had she stayed inside me much longer. Even with an induction I had a VB which is amazing since she never dropped and I am a smaller person.

RE: pregnancy
I HATED being preggo. I am sure some women do love it but I felt ugly, fat, sick, tired, my back hurt, leg cramps, heart burn...not looking forward to doing it again. In the end of course the baby IS worth it!!! It''s easy to forget the pain and discomfort when I see her gummy smile.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

DF, 75 lbs! You are my hero! I still have almost 20 lbs to lose but you have inspired me!

 

[diamondfan]

Tacori, THREE TIMES. And I lost it and then some, though I could not tell you I have a 16 year olds pre children body, I am good! You will do it. Slow and sure!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Date: 2/11/2008 5:09:27 PM
Author: diamondfan
Tacori, THREE TIMES. And I lost it and then some, though I could not tell you I have a 16 year olds pre children body, I am good! You will do it. Slow and sure!

I know my body will NEVER be the same but I am looking forward to wearing my old clothes. How long did it take you to lose the weight?

 

[diamondfan]

Within the first 6 or 7 months.

At this point, like I said, I have gained about 15 pounds due to some health issues. I am slowly taking it off, and it is coming. In your 40''s your metabolism is so different, but I am doing it through healthy diet and consistent exercise. Have lost 5, have 10 to go. But I lost all the weight from my third and kept it off for nearly 5 years. (He turned 6 in November). It crept back when I started feeling ill and it had not been my priority in the last year. With my son''s bar mitzvah this year, it has suddenly become my focus right now!!!

 

[somethingshiny]

Re: Surprise

We struggled for so many years to carry, that when I finally was doing okay, I had to know what the baby was. It made it more real for me. I could plan and get everything perfect for the child (probably the only one I will ever carry). So, it was important for us to have everything just right in case it's our only chance.

Re: boring colors

I think the yellow and green are boring because very few members of my family have found out what they were having. Nearly every nursery was some version of green or yellow, pooh or aquatic. So, we decided we would do butterflies for a girl with lavender and white, or jungle for a boy with camel and sage. (we had a boy) And for his clothes, DH doesn't like the baby blue color. So, we ended up with tons of navy, dark green, red, and khaki stuff. I have to admit, when I first found out I was pregnant, I thought it was a girl. I didn't want my little girl dressed in neutral colors. Too many of the babies in my family are too neutral looking anyway. And, when I see them all in neutral colors, I have to think about who they belong to in order to figure out who they are. (there were 9 babies born in under 2 years.)

re: drug free labor

I whole heartedly wanted a drug-free labor. But, that didn't end up being the case for me. I am the only one in my family to have had a c-section. (there have been almost 26 babies in my generation on one side of my family, and 7 on the other) So, for the most part, my entire family (including my mother) seem to think I didn't "give birth". And, what's really irritating is they seem to think the major surgery aspect of a c-section delivery is no big deal. My mother got angry with me when I told her I wasn't doing sit-ups at one week post-partum. (um, hello, I have my guts stapled in..)


But, the joys of mommyhood outweigh any thing on the planet! I think each labor and delivery story is amazing and wondrous! I think a mother's story of giving birth is the best story she could ever tell.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Date: 2/12/2008 12:35:52 AM
Author: somethingshiny
Re: Surprise

We struggled for so many years to carry, that when I finally was doing okay, I had to know what the baby was. It made it more real for me. I could plan and get everything perfect for the child (probably the only one I will ever carry). So, it was important for us to have everything just right in case it''s our only chance.

Re: boring colors

I think the yellow and green are boring because very few members of my family have found out what they were having. Nearly every nursery was some version of green or yellow, pooh or aquatic. So, we decided we would do butterflies for a girl with lavender and white, or jungle for a boy with camel and sage. (we had a boy) And for his clothes, DH doesn''t like the baby blue color. So, we ended up with tons of navy, dark green, red, and khaki stuff. I have to admit, when I first found out I was pregnant, I thought it was a girl. I didn''t want my little girl dressed in neutral colors. Too many of the babies in my family are too neutral looking anyway. And, when I see them all in neutral colors, I have to think about who they belong to in order to figure out who they are. (there were 9 babies born in under 2 years.)

re: drug free labor

I whole heartedly wanted a drug-free labor. But, that didn''t end up being the case for me. I am the only one in my family to have had a c-section. (there have been almost 26 babies in my generation on one side of my family, and 7 on the other) So, for the most part, my entire family (including my mother) seem to think I didn''t ''give birth''. And, what''s really irritating is they seem to think the major surgery aspect of a c-section delivery is no big deal. My mother got angry with me when I told her I wasn''t doing sit-ups at one week post-partum. (um, hello, I have my guts stapled in..)


But, the joys of mommyhood outweigh any thing on the planet! I think each labor and delivery story is amazing and wondrous! I think a mother''s story of giving birth is the best story she could ever tell.

What an awesome post, something shiny! I love hearing moms tell their labour and delivery stories, because they thankfully end with a sweet little baby in your arms. I remember the moment I had my little prince - the best moment of my life!

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 2/10/2008 11:03:47 PM
Author: LitigatorChick
Pandora - I don''t know the details of your medical issues, and I am definately not a doctor, but I would urge you to look at other methods, besides drugs, to deal with the pain of labour. There are lots of options out there, and you will be shocked what your body is capable of.

I have definitely tried every method of pain-relief currently going! I spent 2 weeks in hospital on the UK''s best pain-management course - where they were very anti-drugs, but agreed that they were the right choice for me.

I''ve been down the hypnosis/self hypnosis, alternative therapies etc etc routes. I do have a specialist spinal physio and a lot of accupunture. I also have a state of the art TENS - which FI nicks all the time for his abs!

They won''t operate again for at least another 15 years - which I am in agreement with, but in the meantime I have no chance of any sort of cure.

I currently take the equivalent of 60mg of morphine a day, which gives me a pretty good quality of life and almost no side-effects - it also means that I can walk, go to work and feel ''normal''.

I agree that there are lots of options out there - I just know that none of them have worked for me except the drugs.

Sorry to hear about your scoliosis Anastastia, I would think with a laminectomy they should find it super easy! I''ve had a couple of nerve-root injections and 2 epidurals in the past 2 years. Hmm, they weren''t that good - lets hope it''s better stuff in labour!

 

[Anastasia]

Pandora,

I am very fortunate that I have no ill effects from my scoliosis. I have no back pain. So other than not being able to have an epidural, I really have no problems. I can''t complain about that!

I really feel for you with the chronic pain. I honestly think I have less back paint than people who have normal backs. I''m glad you are able to manage the pain now and hope that they will be able to find a way to cure you.