I have found my new home!!

[misschuckles]

Hi Lovely Fellow LIW,
I have just stumbled across this section of pricescope after quite a while looking at the wonderful diamond rings in other areas..

I feel that I will be in this section for a while to come and need some advice..

My b/f and I have been together 4yrs 3months (1558 days according to a lovely iphone application). We have been living together full-time for over a year now, and on weekends for nearly our entire relationship.

Recently his younger sister (younger than him, but older than me) and her b/f got engaged (no spite or jealousy, as we are pretty much as close as sisters also). Since then, my partner has decided that we can''t get engaged until they get married, as he doesn''t want to steal her thunder. They are not even considering setting a date for a while yet.

I guess I just don''t understand why our relationship has to be put on hold for someone else.. I do agree that there should be a set amount of time between engagements, but having to wait until they''re married seems a little silly to me.

Sorry if this is confusing or petty or i''m whinging for the sake of whinging..

 

[purelily]

Hi Misschuckles, welcome to the board sometimes its just good to whine

 

[chiapet]

Welcome to PS! Feel free to whine, vent, ramble, etc...

 

[Nomsdeplume]

Welcome to LIW.
I must say, I can understand that you wouldn''t want to steal your sibling''s thunder. Especially if the sibling is your sister. Engagements and weddings are more important in the sense that "it''s my time to shine" to women than to men, generally.

 

[katomm]

Good morning and welcome!!!

I don''t see why you two need to wait till the sister is married but I do see the point in waiting a good 6 months or so after her engagement to announce yours. I''m thinking this may not be set in stone and that a long talk with him might change his mind.

 

[HappyCat]

Hi MissChuckles!

I have been in *exactly* the same boat as you for the past 2 years. BF''s younger brother got engaged in September 2007, and once that happened, BF insisted that we should wait until after they got married to get engaged, to give them their moment to shine, to accommodate out of town families, etc etc. Unfortunately, they planned on having a 2 year engagement, and are in fact getting married this weekend. While I understand the sentiment of letting them have the spotlight, it has been tough putting our own engagement and marriage on hold for almost 2 years, especially given how long we''ve been together (7.5 years, together for 5.5 years at the time his brother got engaged). But we have continued to live our lives, building a home together, advancing our careers, and BF has been true to his timeline. Now that his brother''s nuptials are almost over, he has been actively talking about our own wedding, and has told me that we will be married within a year.

I know it can be incredibly frustrating to feel like your life is being put on hold for another person. I had to learn to respect his decision, and understand how important it was for him to be able to support and celebrate his brother''s engagement and wedding, and just continue to live life to the fullest! If there is anything else I can do to help you get through this, let me know! I''ve been living in this situation for 2 years (though hopefully not much longer!). Take care!

~HappyCat

 

[tyty333]

I really see no reason to not get engaged. Especially since they have not set a wedding date. It might be
taking their thunder if you get married before them but I see no reason not to get engaged. Life is too short
to have to wait around on other people. I do feel that it is kind to be sensitive though. Maybe you and
your BF could have a timeline discussion with his sister and FI to see how it might all play out?

 

[Dreamgirl]

First- welcome!

Second- Why not tell him how you feel and see what he says after that?
Third- If you and his sister are pretty much like real sisters, then why not talk to her about it and see if she would feel like you are stealing her thunder?

That''s what I''d do anyway!

 

[misschuckles]

Thank you all so much for your responses!!

Slight update since last post.. We have had a look at wedding bands for him (just on the net), so we both have a fair idea about rings for each other.

I have a feeling he may have bought my stone (although, this could just be wishful thinking), but funnily enough a stone that I had been looking at (which had been sitting there for weeks) has been taken off the site it was on.

No discussions with his sister and partner, as I feel I already know what they would say, and it would contain the words ''stealing'' and ''thunder''!!!!

Will keep updating, SLOWLY, as this is how I feel things will progress.