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I have a weird question . . .

Discussion in 'Hangout' started by Irishgrrrl, Aug 15, 2008.

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  1. Irishgrrrl
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    by Irishgrrrl » Aug 15, 2008
    . . . would it bug you to wear a ring that used to be the engagement ring of a couple who got divorced? What if that couple was your parents?

    Here''s the story: My parents married in 1972, and my Dad was in the military at the time. He was only 21, and my mom was only 18. So, they didn''t have a whole lot of money to spend on an e-ring. The ring he got my Mom was a diamond cluster ring. There were seven wee little round diamonds, and they were arranged in kind of a flower pattern, with one diamond in the center and the other six in a circle around it. (All of the diamonds are the same size.) So, viewed from a distance, it looked like a solitaire.

    My parents then got divorced in 1981, when I was three years old. My Mom had the diamonds from her e-ring reset into a band, which she later gave to me. It just happens to fit my right pinky perfectly. I haven''t worn it, mainly because I kinda forgot I had it! [​IMG]

    So, I''m thinking about wearing it regularly now. Not necessarily every day, but probably pretty often. Do you think that would just be weird, or should I go for it? I''m such a dork when it comes to diamonds that have a "history"! LOL! [​IMG]
     
    


    


  2. Dee*Jay
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    by Dee*Jay » Aug 15, 2008
    It wouldn't bother me at all. If you like it and it fits put it on and enjoy it!

    ETA: There have been several threads on how difficult (perhaps almost impossible) it is to even know that a stone you're buying loose from a jeweler wasn't pre-owned (they could always send it in to get an updated certificate) so virtually anything can have a history. Or, estate pieces of course come with some sort of "past," but IMHO that lends to the romance of them!
     
  3. purrfectpear
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    by purrfectpear » Aug 15, 2008
    I don''t have any issues with previous diamond lives. I''ve noticed in past threads there do seem to be a lot of ladies who are definitely attuned to diamond "karma" [​IMG]
     
  4. Irishgrrrl
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    by Irishgrrrl » Aug 15, 2008
    Dee*Jay ~ Thanks for the reply! You made a very good point about ANY diamond possibly having a history. And, in some cases, maybe it''s even a GOOD history! [​IMG]

    Purrf ~ Thanks! I think I might be one of the diamond-karma-phobes! LOL! In fact, I''m currently trying to get rid of my old e-ring diamond that was given to me by my XH. [​IMG]
     
    


    


  5. phoenixgirl
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    by phoenixgirl » Aug 15, 2008
    No, not weird at all. You are a product of both of your parents and just because they got divorced doesn''t mean you can''t wear things from their marriage, right? I''m sure they would say that even though their marriage didn''t last, you made it all worthwhile, and the ring can be a symbol of the fact that your parents were happy to have you, IMO. Or just a pretty ring to wear on your pinky; it doesn''t need to have any emotional value. But I don''t see not wearing it because of a divorce.

    Now, on the other hand, if the question were about wearing your husband''s ex-wife''s ring or something, that might be weird (depending on a lot of things), but that''s a totally different situation.
     
  6. NewEnglandLady
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    by NewEnglandLady » Aug 15, 2008
    I would look at it completely differently--your mom created this ring for herself, so it's not in the same setting as the proposal ring, and I really commend that. Obviously SHE didn't mind the history of the diamonds enough to stop enjoying the ring! [​IMG] In fact, she wore this ring in a completely different phase of her life. I would just consider it a very thoughtful and sentimental gift from my mother in a setting she designed herself. The diamonds from your father isn't so bad, either, he is your dad! :)
     
  7. cbs102
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    by cbs102 » Aug 15, 2008
    well the ring is from a marriage of your PARENTS.. so i see nothing wrong with it at all.. i am not superstitious though!!!
     
  8. Irishgrrrl
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    by Irishgrrrl » Aug 15, 2008
    Phoenix, NEL & CBS ~ Thanks, guys! I''m feeling better about it already! [​IMG]
     
  9. CJ2008
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    by CJ2008 » Aug 15, 2008
    Irish...I totally get why would ask the question...I don''t think it''s weird at all! (I would be the same way) I love the perspective some of the other PSers gave you...wear it and enjoy it!
     
  10. fleur-de-lis
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    by fleur-de-lis » Aug 15, 2008
    Well, I wouldn't want to wear the original ring of a marriage which ended in divorce as my own engagement ring-- after all, the e-ring represents your union-- but as a right hand ring or pinky ring, I'd be *honored* to be able to use and wear the stones my father gave my mother on my own hand! Darlin', those stones are heirlooms in a way-- they represent your ancestry, the bond that created YOU, and they are part of your personal history. The best right-hand rings represent the individual traits of the wearer, and you can't do that better than by incorporating family heirlooms. Irishgrrrl, YOU BET I think it's okay to wear them-- heck, if it were me, I'd be wearing them with joy and pride!

    f-d-l
     
    


    


  11. Maisie
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    by Maisie » Aug 15, 2008
    It wouldn''t bother me because it was from my parents. Even if they are divorced now they were in love at the time it was given. I would love to have my parents wedding rings because I love them whether they are together or not [​IMG]
     
  12. julesbeth
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    by julesbeth » Aug 15, 2008
    Wear that baby! It was their marriage, not yours and no matter what they are still your parents. Wear it proudly :) Esp. if it fits! [​IMG]
     
  13. geckodani
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    by geckodani » Aug 15, 2008
    I''d wear it no problem. Enjoy it! [​IMG]
     
  14. Richard Sherwood
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    by Richard Sherwood » Aug 15, 2008
    This is gonna sound weird, but I always pray over anything second hand I acquire, breaking any curses or bad energy that might be attached to it and blessing its future use in my life.

    It works. We are supernatural beings, and focused prayer has supernatural power. You could have a minister do it for you if you like, but anyone exercising faith can do it.
     
  15. Irishgrrrl
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    by Irishgrrrl » Aug 15, 2008
    Guys, thank you all so much for your wonderful words! I'm getting all choked up over here! LOL! [​IMG]

    Rich, I think praying over it is a great idea! Even if it doesn't work, it can't hurt, right? I'll definitely give that a try! [​IMG]

    I'm planning on cleaning all of my jewelry tonight (needs it BAD!), and I think I'll include her . . . she needs a good cleaning! LOL! [​IMG]

    ETA: Everyone's posts were wonderful, but Fleur, I especially loved your post! Thank you!!! ((((HUGS)))) [​IMG]

    ETA2: Maybe, if you're all very good, I'll post pics of her after she gets her bath! LOL! [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
    


    


  16. AprilBaby
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    by AprilBaby » Aug 15, 2008
    Go for it! It will remind you of the happy times your parents had when they had you and they were in love. Just because someone is divorced doesnt mean they didn''t love each other for a time. Remember YOU are also a wonderful part of that happy time!
     
  17. Dogmom
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    by Dogmom » Aug 15, 2008
    My Great-grandmother passed away when I was 15 or so. As the eldest Grand-daughter, I received her engagement ring from a marriage that ended in divorce. The setting was quite worn and my parents had the stone re-set for me and I wear it often as a rhr.

    Wear your lovely ring and enjoy it!
     
  18. radiantquest
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    by radiantquest » Aug 15, 2008
    i would absolutely wear it!! i might think twice about wearing the origianl version as you e-ring, but as that it has been modified and you just want to wear it because you like it. i would go for it
     
  19. scarleta
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    by scarleta » Aug 15, 2008
    Me too I would wear it no problem.Even a diamond you buy from a dealer may have been someone''s else''s stone.At least yours is from the known source.Your Mom would also want the very best for you so that ring has very special karma.
     
  20. MonkeyPie
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    by MonkeyPie » Aug 15, 2008
    It was given in love the first time, and given in love the second time. Wear it proudly! :)
     
  21. Skippy123
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    by Skippy123 » Aug 15, 2008
    I would wear it and enjoy it and agrees w/what MonkeyPie says too. You should enjoy it Irish, sweetheart![​IMG]
     
  22. Cleo
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    by Cleo » Aug 15, 2008
    It wouldn''t bother me at all! :)

    If you want to cleanse any negative vibrations or energies from the ring, you can bury it in rock salt overnight. (You should throw the salt away afterwards). (Leave the whole thing in moonlight as well for added benefit!)

    It''s good to do this before praying over the ring, which will in essence ''charge'' it again with positive energies.

    Enjoy wearing it! :)

    x x x
     
  23. Hera
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    by Hera » Aug 15, 2008
    I wouldn''t wear a ring from a divorce for an engagement ring but would have no problems in your scenario.
     
  24. CJ2008
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    by CJ2008 » Aug 15, 2008
    What a wonderful way to put it.
     
  25. justjulia
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    by justjulia » Aug 15, 2008
    I've been thinking about this--I had my original wedding band blessed by our priest at our renewal of wedding vows some years ago. Since then, I've added an ering...but I'm too embarassed to have it blessed for fear he will think it's too, well, nonmodest. Does that make sense? I need to get over it.

    Back to the subject...yes! Wear it and enjoy it!
     
  26. Tuckins1
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    by Tuckins1 » Aug 16, 2008
    Nope, wouldn''t bother me a bit!
     
  27. Irishgrrrl
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    by Irishgrrrl » Aug 16, 2008
    Ladies, thank you all so much! I took another look at it a few minutes ago. The diamonds aren''t too well cut, but they still sparkle, and I like the way they''re set. It''s almost like they''re bezel set into the band, which is just a very simple 14k yellow gold band, but there''s a little bit of engraving around each diamond. It''s kinda cool! [​IMG]

    And, Julia, if it''s important to you to have your beautiful e-ring blessed, please do so! I''m sure your priest would understand, and would respect you for wanting to have it blessed. I think that''s a wonderful idea, BTW! [​IMG]
     
  28. miraclesrule
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    by miraclesrule » Aug 17, 2008
    Sheesh, I will wear second hand clothes, so I sure as hell wouldn''t have a problem with second hand diamonds. [​IMG]

    I have a ritual with things. I bless them...and if I have a little sage around...I will burn that at the same time. It''s a habit I picked up while attending a very spiritual massage school.

    If I were you Irish, I wouldn''t even blink at wearing it, simply because your Mom remade it and then gifted it to you. It would have incredible sentimental value for me.

    This reminds me, I need to tell my Mom to make sure she wills me the jewelry I have purchased for her.
     
  29. jewelerman
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    by jewelerman » Aug 17, 2008
    It would not bother me...I work with estate and antique jewelry alot and remind clients that each gem has history and many gems bought as new in retail stores were previously owned...when a gem is purchased from an estate show or pawn shop ect...i call this "rescue-ing"the gem...so it can be enjoyed again rather then sitting in a glass case "prison"when its just a commodity.Give the gem a new life and wear it again!
     
  30. loriken214
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    by loriken214 » Aug 18, 2008
    I consider this ring an heirloom since your Mom gave it to you. Wear it in good health and enjoy!

    Lori
     
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