I had a dream and heres my plan...

[iwannaprettyone]

OK, I had a dream that I mentioned engagement to my bf for the final time and he turned to me and said...

"Everytime you bring it up it will delay the process, for all you know I have the ring but I won''t propose to you on demand. It will happen when I want it to, when you least expect it. This is the one thing in my life that is about me giving evertying to you, I don''t think a little time is too much to ask"....

I have been thinking about this all day and have decided that no matter how strong the urge is to hint around or talk about timelines etc I will just let it be and forget about it so that he can do this "one thing" when he is good and ready.

So, anyone had any luck with this tactic? lol

 

[neatfreak]

I think that is an excellent idea and I know MANY guys who would just dig in their heels and wait longer if their GF bugged them...

In fact my best friend is dating one of them and you can just see it in his eyes every time she mentions it that it''s getting further and further away for her.

 

[DMBsGirl]

yes, unfortunately your dream had a lot of truth to it! I know my boyfriend is definitely the type to delay if I talk about it. But he just doesnt GET that it is SOOO hard not to talk about something you want so bad! I''ve been wanting to get engaged for almost a year, and it has been torture!!! I try my hardest to remember that if I pretend to forget it, then it might just happen sooner.

 

[bee*]

I definitely think that''s true to an extent! Ive been trying so hard not to bring it up!! He''s actually brought it up a couple of times now cos I havent mentioned it for ages so that''s been good! I usually come on here if I feel like I have to bring it up, or I talk to the dog.

 

[TWiNKfly]

I can''t emphasize how RIGHT you are.
Immediately after we got engaged, one of the first things that came to my mind was how happy I was that I hadn''t bugged him. I even said "God, I''m so glad I wasn''t twisting your arm about this, it wouldn''t have been as much fun." We were both, like, jumping up and down giddy because we BOTH wanted it so bad.

I think if there is even a hint that you feel you pressuered him into it, you won''t enjoy the moment as much when it does come. Be patient, and it will all be worth it!!

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Thanks for all your comments. We really haven''t talked about it much but i am going to refrain from even hinting around it. I know it will happen and when he asks me I what it to be because HE wants to and not because me, my mother, his mother, sister etc wouldn''t lay off him about it.

AHHHHHH I can''t wait! lol I''ll just have to keep buggin you all until then! wooohooo

 

[Becky P]

I''m trying to follow this plan right now too... it''s definitely not easy, especially now that things just seem to jump out of my mouth without me thinking about them. Before the big fights we had back in Sept/Oct last year, I had a hard time talking about marriage at all! Now, though, it''s just second nature. I try to stop myself, but sometimes it just jumps out of my mouth before I can think about it.

 

[Stephanie]

iwannaprettyone:

Your dreams are so right!

And it is the hardest thing to not talk about something that you want so much, especially when you share all hopes and dreams with this person! It is like a big, fat pink elephant walks in the room and no one wants to talk about it.

I just try remember that I don''t want to be that girl who makes her boyfriend propose - he needs to do it in his time (albeit that eight years is coming ''round the corner and I am getting antsy.) I have found that venting to a married friend or another LIW is great relief. If all else fails, and I feel the urge to come on strong with the "when are you going to propose talk," I just try to think about what it will feel like when he decides to propose. That will be worth every minute of agnoy and torture.

If that doesn''t work, go for a walk - it''ll clear your mind and burn some calories!