I gotta be sneaky, so help me out!

[MacClure]

a guy's gotta figure out what shape diamond to get for his gal's engagement ring....but, he may prefer somethin' a little different. say a 'heart' shape. but, he's not sure if she'd love it.....so...sneaky business is required.

oh, by the way, this post isn't for me...my gal's gettin' an asscher cut whether she likes it or not!!!

okay...suggestions please.....

a very sneaky guy if he has to be (but with his heart in the right place...) ....ron.

(i edited...deleted...part of my original post)

 

[monarch64]

I think he needs to talk to her friends. Girls tend to talk about what shapes they like, so I would say tell him to talk to a friend (of course pick one that can keep her mouth shut!) and see if his girlfriend has ever discussed what shape she likes.

 

[sxn675]

Well, I think that very few people contemplate a heart shape, so maybe your friend should buy from a place with a good return policy and propose within the return period!

 

[Kaleigh]

Tell your friend to talk to her best friends and sister or sisters. The girls will know what their frined will like as they talk about that kind of thing all the time. A heart shape while romantic isn''t up my alley.

A RB is safer, IMHO.

 

[mrssalvo]

Definately have him do some sneaking. Maybe even have a celebrity magazine with some crazy ring pics and say, wow, so and so has an oval, is that a popular shape? she might say something like, I can only imagine having a round or something...asking family members or friends is a good idea if he thinks they can keep it a secret. I''m not a big fan of the heart shape for an e-ring..a pendant, sure, but not an e-ring..

 

[MacClure]

''testuser''....you readin'' this thread? ...........

 

[CourtHorn]

I think someone would REALLY have to want a heart shape to have one for the rest of their life (or at least till the upgrade

. That is not a super-popular shape, so I would double check before i went with it. I know I would NOT be happy if my FI tried to surprise me with a heart.

 

[SuzyQZ]

OK. Here are my two cents, so take it for what it''s worth, just one woman''s opinion--

I think an engagement ring is a very, very, emotional thing for a woman. I think it is definitely in your best interest (and hers) to just come out and ask her what shapes she likes. No major discussion, just casually as you leaf through a magazine or walk in front of a jewelry store window. If you do this non-challantly enough, that doesn''t mean that you are tipping your hand that you are going to propose, My husband and I figuratively "window shopped" alot. He''d see a ring in a magazine and ask me, what do you think about this and I''d say "nah" or "yeah I like that" and then we would just laugh and go onto something else. Or he would show me some celebrity ring and ask what I thought of it and I''d say, "too big, but nice in about 1/3 of the size". He knew what I liked and because we talked about it from time to time so casually it never really seemed like any kind of "tip off" to me. Whe he asked me to marry him I was thrilled, and that was the predominant emotion, but if I had been less then thrilled with the e-ring I would be torn inside because I would not want to hurt his feelings and would probably keep whatever he would give me even though it wasn''t exactly what I wanted because I would think it was what HE wanted for ME and I would keep it to make HIM happy. I would probably brood about it silently to myself and then feel guilty for letting something so materialistic overshadow the wonderfulness of my impending marriage. I think surprises are fine for most things, but for an engagement ring, you need to hear her likes and dislikes directly from her. Most women have definite opinions about these things. Like I said. just my 2 cents.

 

[TexasClaus]

OMG!!! If you don''t know you are absolutely crazy! I chose Asscher because she liked it (my 2nd choice) i liked the Flanders. I''m glad i did some digging, asking, shopping with her to get ideas what she would be interested in. I think i have excellent taste and well she would be happy with anything im about to give her (when i finally decide to ask her). But you are nuts if you dont have an idea on what she wants. Id rather have some ideas before i went off spent the money that you are about to and what i spent. Well you would just be a soup sandwich!!!

 

[researcher]

I agree with what''s been said. Most girls do know what their friends like, or can find out rather easily.

Also, you can have him mention the fact that you''re getting your girl an asscher (or discuss another friend''s ring or celebrity ring), and ask his girlfriend what that looks like, and what she thinks of them (that will keep her from thinking he knows a lot about various diamond shapes). He could then ask if she thinks most girls want a fancy shaped stone because most girls he knows like round stones. That would probably lead his girl to talking about HER favorite shape

 

[midgirl]

I agree with a few others on here. Just have your friend come out and ask her. If my bf proposed with a heart shape, I think I might laugh and think he is joking with me. If you go for a round, princess or marquis maybe most people would like them. Those are shapes that are seen regularily, but a heart shape? He needs to just ask her what she likes-she has to wear it...FOREVER!

 

[jetmal]

yes, a heart shape is sweet....but thats exactly it...like... promise ring sweet.....I dont know that I would want my e-ring to forever be a heart shape.....maybe a RHR, or a fancy fun ring.......

I would either be sneaky and find out, or just come out and ask...you said that she has been hinting around about it, so I''m sure she would be fine with hinting around with which kind of ring she''d like.

good luck!

 

[freaknyea]

I don''t know if I would do a Heart shape... for an engagement ring personally. Unless she really wants something like that. Now there are multiple ways I could go with this but I am just going to go one way for right now. It may be a little childish to get a heart shaped diamond. I am not sure how Heart shaped diamonds look either but I am going to guess the beauty of a heart shaped diamond may not be up to the level of the standard diamond shapes. If you want something special do the research and buy a quality Diamond. If you want some recommendations message me and I will be happy to give them to you. I am never about lying in any case. Don''t get in the habit and it would be more impressive if you could get by without it. I must say that this forum is one good way to get around it if she isn''t online looking. Thank You... Chris Roblee

 

[msb700]

i agree that a heart shaped diamond for an ER isn''t very common..but then again, it mite be something she is interested in. HOWEVER, since this is such an important ring, ur friend mite want to make sure that his future FI gets exactly wat she wants...like wat many others have already said, her friends mite already know or can easily find out on his behalf...perhaps just walk around the mall and do some window shopping (and i mean that! window shopping at mall jewelery stores!!!)...best of luck to ur friend, but IMO i would stick away from the heart shape ER.

 

[Shay37]

All right, here''s the deal. If you''re going to lie, be creative. Here goes: Yeah, my buddy was telling me that his sister (make up someone she does not know) just got engaged. The guy bought her a heart-shaped diamond. The buddy says that she wasn''t too crazy about that shape as they''re a little young. He got it because they''re not popular and therefore you won''t see them on everyone. He was going for the "rare" factor, but he missed the wow factor.

You should get some specific input with a scenario above about her feelings on the subject. HTH

shay

 

[testuser]

Yeah Ron I have been reading... lots of good advice. Thanks

 

[moon river]

Talk to her friends and sisters(if she has them), female cousins, mother, etc.

 

[Blenheim]

Talking to friends, sisters, etc. is generally a good idea, but I''d try a more direct method for two reasons:

1) I''m not entirely honest with some of my friends about what I like. I personally would not want a princess center stone, for example, but am not going to tell my engaged friend with a princess center stone that. She might do the same sort of thing.

2) If they''ve discussed diamond shapes, they''re more likely to have discussed more common ones like rounds, princesses, etc. Heart shaped diamonds are less likely to come up in conversation, unless they''re her absolute favorite.

So, I''d try to do a little detective work. The idea about mentioning your friend''s sister (or whoever) who just got a heart is a good idea. You could also enlist the help of one of her friends to start chatting about rings with her, and make sure that heart shaped diamonds are brought up. Having a friend take her by a jewelry store while they''re out shopping together is also a good idea.

 

[moon river]

What reason would you have to not be honest with your friends? If the Princess cut is not for you she isn''t going to curl up and die. Everyone is differant and has differant tastes. Girls usually discuss things like this. I know what kind of food, clothes, cars etc my friends are partial to. My feelings wouldn''t be hurt if a friend didn''t like my ering(or clothes, car etc) because I know we are each differant.

I still think this is the best route to go. Most friends know what the others like. If not, they could help get it out of her without ruining the surprise for the guy.

 

[Blenheim]

Date: 3/12/2006 7:33:56 PM
Author: moon river
What reason would you have to not be honest with your friends? If the Princess cut is not for you she isn't going to curl up and die. Everyone is differant and has differant tastes. Girls usually discuss things like this. I know what kind of food, clothes, cars etc my friends are partial to. My feelings wouldn't be hurt if a friend didn't like my ering(or clothes, car etc) because I know we are each differant.

I still think this is the best route to go. Most friends know what the others like. If not, they could help get it out of her without ruining the surprise for the guy.

I guess with me, most of these discussions seem to happen when one of my friends just got engaged. If she's gushing about how much she loves her ring, I personally am not going to say, "Well, I'm glad you like it but it's just not for me." I'm going to congratulate her and just be glad that she loves it. If someone asked me straight out though (which doesn't happen very often, for whatever reason), then I'll be perfectly honest. I guess it would be much more correct for me to have said that in the context we usually discuss engagement rings in, I'm not entirely open about my own preferences.

I know that a lot of girls discuss things like this a lot more openly, but just put this out there on the off-chance that her discussions with her friends have been more like mine.


ETA: Also, I can think that a ring is absolutely gorgeous without wanting it for myself.

 

[moon river]

Blenheim, I just reread my post and realized I came off kinda ''Snarky''

Didn''t mean to. My girlfriends and I have known each other for 30 years and we share everything. I even know what kind of underwear they all prefer

 

[KristyDarling]

A heart shaped diamond is a very specific preference. Even if the guy likes it, there''s definitely no guarantee that his girlfriend will too (except if she''s already told him so). I agree with the others -- he needs to ask her girlfriends to do some snooping for him. Someone could be flipping through a magazine with her and they can start up a convo about what they like/don''t like.