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Lauren523

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Hi everyone!

Well, some of you may have read my post a while back about problems with a local jeweler who misrepresented the quality of my e-ring. Everything turned out in the end and my fiance got his money back. Well, we went searching for another engagement ring and ended up picking one out at another local jeweler, but through a long time friend of my parents. He was very professional, knowledgeable, and took very good care of us. My fiance and I spent a little more than the budget, but this ring was gorgeous! Well, my fiance and I are moving from NH to FL in the next month, he''ll be attending the American Motorcycle Institute in Daytona Beach. I found out a couple of days after our new ring purchase that he had spent almost all of his savings to move to FL on my ring! I couldn''t live with myself if I continued to wear a ring that could help us financially get down to FL and could be put toward his education. He means the absolute world to me and his education and this experience for him means more to me than a ring. He felt sooo bad and didn''t want me to go without a ring, but I don''t think he was being realistic about how much it costs to move and to pay for school! So, I returned it, cried my eyes out, but feel better about the whole situation. It just stinks when someone says, "OH! Let me see your ring!" and you tell them the whole story over and over again! It''s also sad because he had originally proposed with a ring and now there''s nothing. A few people I''ve talked to have told me that I was doing the mature, responsible thing and it makes me feel good, but my finger feels so naked! My fiance and I agreed to wait until we come back from Florida to buy an engagment ring,which will be in a year! Oh well. Just had to let it all out and what a good place to do that! Thanks for listening
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pauls girl

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You are an amazing person.
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I was going to suggest maybe a CZ to wear until you can get the ring you want in a year or so, but I don't think I would want to wear CZ knowing it wasn't the real thing. It's one thing to wear it for fun, but it's hard when it's taking the place of your e-ring.
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Another option: Do you have any heirloom jewelry you could wear? I know that I have a ring my grandma gave me and it would do in a pinch if for some reason I couldn't wear my e-ring. Then you would at least have a ring to wear in the meantime? Or perhaps a ring that you already own that you could just wear on that finger?

If not, just tell the people who ask to look at your ring that while you don't have the ring just yet, you do have an incredible man who did all that for you, and that's worth more than any diamond.

I applaud you for your selflessness
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Nicrez

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Lauren, I am so glad you posted and told us your story! I personally have to say that a ring is a moot point, when the man you love has just asked you to marry him. And I think you story helps us all see that!

If you really do want a ring, I say use a nice ring you may have had as an heirloom as Pauls Girl suggested! Also, you can find a nice "faux" ring all over in silver and CZ to keep your naked finger company. What size ring do you wear, I can keep a look out for you, if you let me know what style you like. These can easily be under $50, to some as low as $20... I found a phenomenal number of cute rings at www.overstock.com...

But in the end, the selflessness you both showed is what a real proposal and marraige should be. Honestly, thank you so much for sharing your story, as it brings out the best in what a relationship should be! Bless you both and good luck!!
 

Jennifer5973

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You have the most important things--true love and respect for each other. Diamonds can be bought any time; the kind of relationship you have can't ever be bought. Continue to nurture it and good things will come. The ring is gravy. I know many a woman with a 2 ct diamond on her finger and nothing in her heart.
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Lauren523

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Thank you Nicrez and Paul's girl! It's nice to hear that I did the right thing. I honestly do feel good about my choice of returning my e-ring, it's just the whole sentimental thing about it, and you're right, Nicrez, it is the whole mood thing. When I look at my naked finger and think of how he proposed to me, that's when I feel sad about it. My fiance is the sweetest person I know and although it was just bad timing for us financially, I know that he was just listening to his heart and wanted to give me that ring. At least I can never have the proposal or engagement taken away
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By the way Nicrez, that website you suggested has really cute rings! I was actually thinking of asking him if we could pick out a gemstone for now, I really love amethyst and pink sapphires. I wear a size 6.5 and love white gold. Let me know if you find any good ones
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Unfortunately, I don't have any family heirlooms that I know about, but that certainly would be a good idea! My mom jokingly asked if I wanted to wear hers, but I would never, she loves it too much! Thanks again for listening!
 

sumi

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On 4/19/2004 8:19:57 PM Jennifer5973 wrote:

You have the most important things--true love and respect for each other. Diamonds can be bought any time; the kind of relationship you have can't ever be bought. Continue to nurture it and good things will come. The ring is gravy. I know many a woman with a 2 ct diamond on her finger and nothing in her heart.
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I couldn't have said it better. I agree 100%, you already have the most important thing to start off your marriage right. Obviously there is a lot of love and respect between the two of you. That is so much more important than a ring.


For what it's worth, my sister never got an engagement ring. After 6 years of marriage, she still doesn't have one. When my sister and husband were married, she was just out of school and he was just going back to grad school. They didn't have $ for a ring, but they wanted to get married. Today, they have a happy marriage, two beautiful children, and an amazing house.

There are more important aspects to a marriage than an e-ring. But, obviously you already know that.


As sad as you feel for having to give back your ring, I hope you don't feel too bad for long. You've already learned an important lesson in marriage: compromise and selflessness. You can always buy a ring later. What you can't buy is that kind of selflessness and attitude. You are starting your marriage off on in such a great way, there's no need to be sad.
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wallace

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L - You are an amazing person and you really have your priorities straight. You both sound like wonderful caring people who deserve each other. I wish you the very best!

Congratulations on your engagement!!!

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I was also going to suggest a gemstone - there are lots of beautiful ones, even rare, with a wide variety of prices. In England and Europe may women wear coloured stones - diamonds are not a ususal engagement stone there! Also, you could get something small and then incorporate it into a larger ring later! THat might provide some continuity... I also wanted to mention that McGivern's (www.overnightdiamonds.com) has very nice settings at very good prices. I just had a garnet put in one of their settings (14k white gold) and they were great.
 

Lauren523

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Feb 22, 2004
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What does everyone think of this one? I love this look! Where can I find something like this?

pink sapphire.jpg
 

wallace

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L LOVE that!!! Where did you get the picture? I will be happy to help you look for it! Is that a pink sapphire?
 

sumi

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yes, that's so lovely! very beautiful!
 

Lauren523

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I thought this was sooo cute! Yes, I believe it's a pink sapphire. I saw it on ice.com
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alexah

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Hi
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I know it's a bit different than the pic you posted but did you see this $240 size 6.5 ring at overstock when you were browsing?

http://www.overstock.com/cgi-bin/d2.cgi?PAGE=PROFRAME&PROD_ID=43591

Btw, I commend your selfless behavior- you should be v proud of yourself.
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Your priorities are definately straight.

Best of luck to you w your interim e-ring search
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Lauren523

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Hi alexah!

Thanks for your support! I did actually see that ring at overstock. It's cute, but I'm not crazy about the flower in the middle. But thank you for looking, I really appreciate it!
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sevens one

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First of all I would like to say that I really believe things happen for a reason. Lauren, you have learned a great lesson here. Bravo to your selflessness. It will come back to you. Your SO is a lucky man.
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Also I would like to say how great everyone has been in response. You guys are so supportive. I feel all warm and fuzzy!!

ps-Lauren now you'll just have more time to hunt for the perfect ring. And the hunt is a big part of the fun.
 

luvmysparklies

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Wow. Ditto to what everyone said. You are quite a special person
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. I'm glad too, that you wrote and shared. We can offer moral support and ideas of all sorts to help you through this.
Luv
 

Lauren523

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You guys are the best and the sweetest!!!! Thank you soooo much for being there for me and I feel a lot better
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Thanks again everyone!
 

Nicrez

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wallace

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Wow, Nic- what a find! It's on the same page in the BizRate search where the Ice ring is...

Is it the squarness you like? OR the pink? Are you interested in other gems? Do you want pave? How long are you willing to look?

THis is fun and would make a great right hand ring one day when you would get another e-ring. www.badiamonds.com - lots of good rings and also at www.heavenlytreasures.com and www.sunjewelry.com

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Lauren523

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Thanks Nicrez and Wallace for the searching!!! I actually have been looking for a couple of weeks since I returned my ring, for some kind of replacement and actually the pink sapphire I posted is the only style I have seen that I really love! I really appreciate all the responses from everyone! Thanks again
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tawn

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Jun 24, 2003
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The guy is better than the ring...I've been waiting for 10 years to get mine! I've collected some nice little pieces along the way, but still waiting for the "ring" with the nice "diamond"!

Always seems to be something else that comes first...like my husband's new 4X4! But, it's on the top of the list now!!
 

sunseeker

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Mar 25, 2004
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Lauren, congratulations on your engagement!

Don't worry about the ring, just get strong for the comments that go along with being engaged and NO RING.

My husband came to me 21 years ago feeling bad because he wanted us to get engaged, but didn't have the money for an e-ring. I told him it didn't matter, that we would go ahead and plan our wedding and get the ring along the way. This was fine for us, but apparently not for a lot of people that didn't get the fact that we were engaged but I didn't have an e-ring, and of course there were those that later thought I must have HAD to get married because I never got an engagement ring (they were wrong!).

20 years later and I JUST got my e-ring a few weeks ago and I LOVE IT!!! This is for our 20th anniversary and I am so glad I waited this long. Through the years we often thought of buying me an e-ring and ALMOST bought a few times, but it was never what I really wanted, mainly due to the cost (Didn't know about Pricescope back then!). I didn't want to settle but also didn't want to use money that could be put towards things more important (kids, mortgage, car payments...). So I waited and I am very glad that I did.

I never considered wearing another type of ring in place of an e-ring. It is a nice idea and the picture you posted is beautiful! Maybe that can hold you over until you can get the ring you really want.

Best of luck on your search and congrats again on your engagement!

~ Sunseeker
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fire&ice

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O.K. ...I'm going to get flamed. But, why is Lauren such a Hero. Am I missing something? She did what she was *supposed* to do. I applaud her maturity for *realizing* it. I'm sure it was a difficult decision; but, it was the *right* one. A no-brainer in my book.

Lauren, I can sympathize with you feeling naked. And, I do feel bad for you. I think your choice to look to the future rather than have immediate gratification is the correct way to live life in general. Bodes well for a future generation.

That said, I think you have lots of options mentioned in previous posts so that you don't feel so naked. How about buying an antique ring...one with not a lot of individual carat weight...but with some flash. I see these deco rings on ebay sell for under $500.00. Or buy a diamond band that could double for your wedding ring. Lots of options.

Kudos to you. But, as I said, I can not understand someone who would not make the choice you did.
 

luvmysparklies

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No flames here. You have a point F&I...but, only in a perfect world would people do what they were supposed to do everytime. So when someone actually does it, especially during a time such as this, it is refreshing/surprising. I can speak for my own post, that my comments were intended as moral support as best that it could be given - through cyberspace.
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Luv

PS. Lauren, I think your choice is lovely!
 

sumi

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On 4/20/2004 9:27:39 AM fire&ice wrote:

O.K. ...I'm going to get flamed. But, why is Lauren such a Hero. Am I missing something? She did what she was *supposed* to do. I applaud her maturity for *realizing* it. I'm sure it was a difficult decision; but, it was the *right* one. A no-brainer in my book.

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That's basically what we are all saying. We are applauding her maturity for realizing what she had to do. It WAS a difficult decision, I'm sure. That's why she deserves a pat on the back.

What's so wrong with giving words of encouragement to someone who had the maturity to recognize what had to be done, then followed through with a difficult decision? What's wrong with giving her kudos for doing the right thing?
 

Bridget

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F&I, I think you look for the negative in almost every post. So far I have yet to read a post that you responded to that doesn't have a negative point to it. If you must play devils advocate all the time isn't it best to just say nothing at times? Seriously, your constant downing is a major downer. Do you ever smile?

Lauren, I think you are wonderful. You didn't do what you were *suppose* to do. This world consists of rules and crap you are *suppose* to do. Who in the hell makes the rules??? What YOU did was take a gift and return it for your future. Not many people do that with any gift, let alone an engagement ring. I am sure it makes you sad and brings you down, as it would anyone, but sweety you will have far more better in life.

Thanks for sharing your post, I enjoy knowing there are wonderful people still out there!
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sevens one

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Here, Here!
 

dbgaap

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Lauren,


You did the right thing.


That always pays off in the long run.




It sounds like you love that pink sapphire, so go for it. If I were in your shoes, I think I would find a setting I like and put an amethyst or a pearl in it.


Then maybe swap it out for a diamond at our 5 year anniversary?




I am a bit older than the average bride, so I'm not saying everyone should do this, but, I tried to help pay for my e-ring and BF said "No thanks". So, I opened up a joint account for us and I deposited the cash into that. It's our play money. If he decides he wants a Tag Heurer watch or something for his motorcycle... whatever. Or it could pay for a vacation.


I'll tell you, coughing up several thousand dollars was good for me. It helped me to appreciate what is feels like to let go of hard-earned cash.


It felt good.
 

Mara

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Good call, Lauren...this is totally not the same but waaayy back when I was 17...my first boyfriend bought me a $200 promise ring with the money he won at the casinos (for his 21st bday!). He was in collge and didn't have a job so it was the only money he really had at the time. I barely recall the ring itself, but I think it was a tiny heart shaped diamond. I LOVED IT.




Anyway, we went to ClearLake to celebrate his bday and on the way home from the weekend, we got a speeding ticket. I don't recall the semantics at this point, but he either asked for the ring back or I offered to give it...regardless of either, I gave it back with a heavy heart, but knowing that he really wouldn't have the $$ to pay the speeding ticket if he didn't return the ring. (Though I was secretly bitter that he didn't ask his parents for the money, he was so spoiled they probably would have given it to him. But of course I didn't mention this
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Sooo while we are talking about something entirely different, I know how you feel...I was so sad when my ring was gone..but it was the right thing to do.




I highly agree with the other recommendations, there are lots of options! Have you checked out www.signedpieces.com? They have some great channel set eternity bands or a very thin pave band...for under $1000 that could adorn your naked finger and you can wear it on another finger later or use it as a wedding band. Also consider gemstones, definitely...gemstones with diamond pave are beautiful as the picture you posted. Or as someone else posted, Tiffany has some very cool cheaper rings, like their diamond etoile band which I think is around $1000. Or a channel set band for around the same price.




Anyway, this is a cool opportunity for you to be really imaginative! Scour eBay also for Tiffany re-sale deals and definitely check out SignedPieces...they re-sell used Tiffany and Bulgari jewelry and you may be able to find a great deal!




Congrats on the engagement and good luck!
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alexah

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I really like that ring you posted Lauren!
I thought you were trying to find something similar because it was too pricey - I'd no idea it was so reasonable (<$200)!
If it's in your budget & you like it, then go for it!
It's not the original but at least you can enjoy it knowing the man you love isn't suffering any for you having it...
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Good luck, no matter what you decide!
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Mara

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