Hi, thought I'd post/vent here to get a fresh perspective. My BMs, friends are enabling the "it's your wedding, your special day, invite whomever you want" mentality. So if I am being unreasonable, I sure could use a swift reality check.
Our guest list has grown from 80 to 125. 100 is family, the rest are close friends. We budgeted for 80, and now need to adjust the menu slightly etc.
We chose to invite couples only if they were married, engaged, or soon to be engaged; if we didn't know their other halves well. Since we were inviting only our closest friends, any singles were asked not to bring a date. We wanted family, and those near and dear to us present.
The issue is my fiance's friend is bringing someone who he's been seeing for about a year, living together for the past 6 months. My fiance & I do not know this person, I wouldn't know her if she passed me on the street. I do not want her there. Long story short - I am friends with his ex-fiance, they were dating 9 years, engaged, and his current gf 'broke' up their engagement. Yes, it takes 2 to tango, I understand, but she actively pursued him knowing full well he was engaged. Anyhow, I don't care for her, and don't want to see her on my wedding day. Our costs per person are a bit high, and it feels like rubbing salt in the wound that I'm actually paying for her to be there. I know that is the wrong mentality, but can't help it. hmm not sure if I left anything out. oh, I'm not very close with his ex, but I consider her a friend. She cannot make it to the wedding - if she could have made it, we would not have invited her ex. My fiance says its none of our business, (which I agree it's not). However as stated above, if I was having a bbq and she showed up, I guess I wouldn't care, but we already had to limit our guest list, am busting our budget, it just really rubs me the wrong way that she is there. There are people that I don't know, dozens of fiance's family members, some of my parents friends etc - but I am more than happy for them to share our special moment with us, because they are family, or mean a lot to my family or his etc. However, I do not feel the same about her, whether on principle, or loyalty to my friend etc. We are inviting his friend because they have been friends since junior high.
ok thanks for listening to the vent, sorry if this was not written in a straightforward manner, or jumped around etc. I figure I should have laid things out chronologically or in a different order, but this is how it came out.
eta: She (my friend who moved away) & I speak with her every few months. My fiance sees his friend once or twice a year.
Our guest list has grown from 80 to 125. 100 is family, the rest are close friends. We budgeted for 80, and now need to adjust the menu slightly etc.
We chose to invite couples only if they were married, engaged, or soon to be engaged; if we didn't know their other halves well. Since we were inviting only our closest friends, any singles were asked not to bring a date. We wanted family, and those near and dear to us present.
The issue is my fiance's friend is bringing someone who he's been seeing for about a year, living together for the past 6 months. My fiance & I do not know this person, I wouldn't know her if she passed me on the street. I do not want her there. Long story short - I am friends with his ex-fiance, they were dating 9 years, engaged, and his current gf 'broke' up their engagement. Yes, it takes 2 to tango, I understand, but she actively pursued him knowing full well he was engaged. Anyhow, I don't care for her, and don't want to see her on my wedding day. Our costs per person are a bit high, and it feels like rubbing salt in the wound that I'm actually paying for her to be there. I know that is the wrong mentality, but can't help it. hmm not sure if I left anything out. oh, I'm not very close with his ex, but I consider her a friend. She cannot make it to the wedding - if she could have made it, we would not have invited her ex. My fiance says its none of our business, (which I agree it's not). However as stated above, if I was having a bbq and she showed up, I guess I wouldn't care, but we already had to limit our guest list, am busting our budget, it just really rubs me the wrong way that she is there. There are people that I don't know, dozens of fiance's family members, some of my parents friends etc - but I am more than happy for them to share our special moment with us, because they are family, or mean a lot to my family or his etc. However, I do not feel the same about her, whether on principle, or loyalty to my friend etc. We are inviting his friend because they have been friends since junior high.
ok thanks for listening to the vent, sorry if this was not written in a straightforward manner, or jumped around etc. I figure I should have laid things out chronologically or in a different order, but this is how it came out.
eta: She (my friend who moved away) & I speak with her every few months. My fiance sees his friend once or twice a year.