I don''t really know...

[KimberJEB]

Lol at the subject, I couldn''t think of what to title it,

My whole life I wanted to have my wedding reception in my backyard of my mom''s house. Igrew up there and it is truly incredibly beautiful. OTHER people have had weddings there. 3 acres on the river, lanscaping is incredible...a few years before we bought it it was in SOuthern Living - and my mom made it prettier. My parents used to have huge parties there and they would rent dancefloors and whatnot and it was WONDERFUL. So thats where I want my wedding.

BUT - my mom moved out in 2002 and was in the process of selling it. A guy has been renting it with a plan of buying it for 3 years now. Basically he is scamming her, but my mom is too nice to realize that if he bounces his rent check 8 times a year he CANT AFFORD to buy a $1.5m house.

So, finally...she is considering renting out her current house, moving back in to "my home", lol and fixing it up to sell. But she will be there for 6 months - a year (maybe more, but hopefully it will sell. So are we are talking she will be there till next June or so.

Now, then...THIS IS WHERE I WANT MY WEDDING! I thought that I didn''t have a chance at it, and had thought that we would eventually do it at my dad and stepmoms house. 3 acres, on the river but on the other side of town (30 min. from church) - MUCH nicer house than moms, but the yard is while pretty, and well manicured - TOO PRETTY and WELL MANICURED> Moms is wild and lush and tropical..you know? Plus that house isn''t my home...I lived in it for about 2 months of my senior year of high school.

Ok, so anyway - I WANT TO HAVE MY WEDDING AT MY HOUSE! And I feel strongly about having a longish engagement (I really wanted 2 or more years, but after all this time, I want A YEAR!) . Which means boy needs to get of fhis butt and do it. He knows how I feel about this, I have been so excited since I heard she is moving back. And I am going to be SO FREAKING upset if he continues in his 3 year long procrastination for a few more months and makes this impossible for me.

I don''t know. I just want this so much. Obviously I want to be married to him, but I have gotten more patient -- I don''t want to pressure him. But this is SO FREAKING IMPORTANT TO ME, this is my lifetime, childhood dream. And if he screws it up....

Remember - we have been together 7 years, and I honestly thought we would be engaged 3 years ago.

 

[beautifuldisaster]

Kimberly-

Hi there!

I am newish here so I don''t know everyone''s background, forgive me. I went back and found an earlier post (but still don''t know the whole story I don''t think) from you so I could see your story prior to responding to this most recent post.

You guys have been together for 7 years which is a substantial amount of time and it seems as if you have been waiting about 2.5 years for him the pop the question, you have looked at rings, talked etc.

I am not too sure where you guys stand now, so my answer might not be appropriate.

Have you mentioned this thing with your mom''s house to him? If so, what was his response? I know that a lot of the time guys don''t understand us, and vice versa. This however, is a huge deal since you have had your heart set on this since you were a child. Wouldn''t it be nice if every girl had the opportunity to live out her childhood fantasy of her wedding? Here you have the opportunity but there is that teeny tiny matter of the engagement.

If you don''t think he would flip out and you don''t think he would feel like you were pushing him, I would suggest that you just talk to him. I know it might come across as a we have to be married by such and such a date conversation, but see if you can skirt around the issue a bit and just pick his brain. Perhaps he has something in the works that you don''t even know about.

I would try my hardest without making him mad of course to have the wedding the way that you have always dreamt of! Good luck and keep us posted!

 

[JCJD]

Hi KimberJEB. I posted this message to Katrina''s thread, and I think it''s appropriate for you too - just tweak the words to your situation! My fiance and I have now been together for 7 and a half years, engaged 2 months after our 7 year anni. I too was hoping to get engaged for the past 3 years of our relationship, so I completely understand how you feel!! In retrospect, however, I''m glad it didn''t happen until it did - I wasn''t ready to plan our marriage for a majority of those 3 years - I just knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of our lives, but didn''t know how to do it. Anyone can plan a party practically anytime in their lives, but you both have to be ready for marriage to be able to put the time and effort into preparing for marriage.

Quote:
"I think a much more effective approach would be to get him thinking about his timeline, not an ultimatum. Ask him (if you know he wants to marry you - this is the first question otherwise!) if he has a date when he''d like to be married to you. [Example: by December 2006]. You say, OK, I like that, I agree with that plan (unless you don''t). Well, in order to plan the wedding, I would like XX months of engagement so I don''t go crazy with the stress, and drive you crazy in the process, and so that we''ll have time to save up the money, and by the way, weddings are running average $XX,XXX in our area. So, to give me/us sufficient planning time and to keep us on track with your marriage timing, I think it makes sense for us to be engaged by such-and-such date. What do you think? Do you have any concerns about this plan?

And you go from there! Good luck!! This approach worked for me, not this specific conversation, but really getting him to think about what he wants for the relationship - that way you''re putting the decision in his hands, not making the decision for him."

 

[Buena Girl]

Is there any way that you could kind of treat your mom''s house like a venue? Have her type up and print out an "available dates" calendar and some sort of "contract". Nothing legal or binding, but just some way to try and emphasize that she will be selling the house and that he needs to committ to having a wedding some time in the near future if you want to be married there. You could even do a mock tour of the property and point out all of the things that you love about it. Maybe seeing things in print and signing his name to something will help start the process going??