I did something really positive today

[chizzy1982]

First I would like to say a how wonderful I feel the PS community is - the advice and support peolpe give here is greatly appreciated.

I don''t post that often but I read many threads with interest especially those surrounding the issue of depression and anxiety. It is through reading those posts that I realised I needed to get help with the issues I have been struggling with for many many years. Today I did that and saw a psychotherapsit for the first time and I feel it was the best decision I have made in a vey long time. I have dipped my toes in the waters of counselling on and off for the best part for 15 years but have never lasted longer than a few sessions. To be honest I thought I was just going to have to put up with how I was feeling and accept "this was me". However having read other peoples experiences it really struck a cord with me and made me realise that i can change my behaviours and with help hopefully become the person I want to be.

I know its not going to be easy, and its going to take a long time and there may well be painful issues brought up, but, having read how others have gone through this and come out the other side it gives me strength that I to can do the same.

I am so grateful to the people of this community for giving me the push I needed - thank you

L

 

[LitigatorChick]

That is such great news. I know how you feel - I convinced myself over and over that things were fine. But they weren''t. Now that I am finally accepting of the situation and getting help, it feels a billion times better. Good luck!!!

 

[erica k]

I am so happy that you made this decision. I know what you mean about trying counseling off and on but not feeling ready to really trying it out. I wish you the best with your new psychotherapist. Hugs!

 

[lyra]

Congrats!

Every baby step counts. Try everything until you find what works best for you. We''re all different, and we react differently. I hope you have better days soon. Take care.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Asking for help is the hardest part. I am proud of you!

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

I am so proud of you.
It truely didn''t occur to me that normal people don''t cry everyday, have panic attacks over basic math assignments or have nervous breakdowns at age 10; I thought that waswho I was and that everyone was like that, they just hid it better. I have been treated for both depression and an anxiety disorder and my life is so much better.
Odd as it sounds, I feel what many people with depression feel when they get treated; like myself. It may seem counterintuitive that for many of us, being medicated makes us feel more like ourselves them being left to our own devices. I know that now, if I were asked to describe myself, it would be the person I am with treatment.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Remember that depresion is natural and not your fault, the only fault is not thinking you are worth enough to get help.

 

[chizzy1982]

Litigator Chick, Erica, Lyra and Tacori - Thankyou so much for your kind words of support, they are much appreciated. The only person who knows I have done this is my BF and whilst he has been a tower of strength I don''t want to feel like I am over burdening him by solely relying on him for support which is one of the resons I posted here.

Would it be ok if I continued to post here if i needed a few kind words and support?

L

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Of course! Sometimes it just helps to vent. Plus there are so many people (myself included) who have been in the same position before. It really helps to talk about things!

 

[chizzy1982]

BIH - It is those soughts of stories of peolpe getting better that really have given me hope. I am sat here writing this with tears in my eyes - I think It is almost a release due to the fact I have decided to take control and do something AND that today my therapist said my behaviours ( amongst the anxiety, depression and anorexia, I also have very paranoid intuition) could well be a response to the environment I grew up in. Its a relief to know I''m not abnormal!

 

[LitigatorChick]

Chizzy, we are here for you. Many of us are going through the very same thing. Actually, I recently discovered that my SIL is suffering very badly - my inlaws had really disparaged her as difficult and awful, and now I find out she is suffering like this. There are many of us out there, and support is key. My SIL and I are now developing a very special relationship. Stay in touch and reach out to us.

 

[aprilcait]

Chizzy, I just want to say WAY TO GO!!! What a big first step, and what a wonderful move you''ve made toward helping yourself. Hooray for you!

You are in my thoughts.

 

[brazen_irish_hussy]

As someone who has been at both ends on this, I would love to hear how it is going and of course we will provide support. Like I said before, this is not your fault, there is nothing to blame or be ashamed off.
Even after doing better if you have a really bad day, it isn''t like backsliding. That was a big difference for me; when a bad day didn''t prove that my entire life sucked or that I sucked, but when it was simply a bad day that would be over tomorrow. I truely went from survivng to thriving and I have never been happier and if you keep taking care of your needs, you will feel the same way in time.
Good luck and good mental health

 

[monarch64]

Congrats on taking that first and very difficult step, Chizzy! I''m proud of you and wishing you the best. It takes a lot of courage to confront your issues, but now you are on your way to making a journey of strength and love for yourself. Good job.

 

[2Artists]

I am so happy for you and so proud of you. That is just great!! There is always hope.

 

[diamondfan]

That is wonderful. The first steps are often the toughest, so that is great. I hope that you know you can always come here and get comfort and advice too. It helps knowing that sometimes.

 

[chizzy1982]

Thank you all for your supportive words - It is very comforting knowing i can come here and vent and not be judged. Yesterday I told my best friend what was going on and she was incredibyl supportive albeit a little surprised but I now have 2 peolpe IRL who i can rely on which is good!. I''m still very unsure about letting people know what is going on ( especially family) as my personal feeling is that there is still a lot of stigma attached to seeking help for these kind of issues (I''m British). However knowing I have PS is a big help.

Thank you all again

L