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I am such a hermit!

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CJ2008

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We''re supposed to go to b-day party tonight and I have NO interest in going.

DH was feeling a little sick last night and I''m hoping it continues just enough so we don''t have to go.


I would so much rather stay home! This is how I feel 97% of the time.

For some reason today I''m feeling kind of terrible about it...I''m like, wow, I haven''t really gone anywhere in how long and it''s a chance to do something with DH outside of the house...and all I can think about is how long it will take to get there, that we have to socialize, etc., when I could be home relaxing...

I feel like having a temper tantrum and NOT going! ahahah The only part of me that is motivated to go is because I know DH would enjoy it (he''s waaaaaaaay more social than I am).

Are there any of you out there feel like this often? Sometimes I don''t even step foot out of the house ALL weekend.
 

BlueSki231

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if it''s a big party where I won''t know anyone then yes i feel like that often.

I don''t mind small social gatherings where I know the majority of people.. or getting together with another couple.

i''m just not a big partier
 

monarch64

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I go through phases sometimes (usually when the weather is yucky) where I feel completely agoraphobic and I don''t leave the house all weekend, but it doesn''t last more than a few weeks. If you''re feeling like you don''t want to leave your house 97% of the time, I would be concerned and try to figure out why you''re feeling this way...have you always been a self-described hermit or is this something new?
 

Lauren8211

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I''m always that way. I''m a SERIOUS introvert. Socializing simply drains me. I like to be home by myself. It''s not a matter of depression, or laziness, I just really am energized by being alone.

Nothing wrong with you, unless this is something new and unusual.

And if there IS something wrong with you, you''re in good company. Well, not really... since we don''t leave the house.
 

MonkeyPie

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I used to do this A LOT. And we both did it when we got married. I think I just went through phases where I was either a little blue or when I just wanted my husband all to myself lol.
 

luvthemstrawberries

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Eh, I think you''re absolutely fine! I''m like elledizzy - I''m just more energized by being alone. I''d love to find a job where I could work at home - FI has asked if I wouldn''t get lonely and have cabin fever, but I have to assure him that I''d be fine! I really do enjoy the quiet. Even when he and I are hanging out together - we both just like to be at home and be quiet. Every now and then I feel like I should go see my semi-friends, who I really don''t have many (true ones) of, but socializing really just takes it out of me. Especially at work all day, every day. I''d rather just be alone usually.

Hehe, and elledizzy, you made me chucke with the "good company but not" comment, hehe you''re clever.
 

CJ2008

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I''ve always been this way...so it''s definitely nothing new...I''ve always loved being alone.

But once in a blue it will bother me...

I tell myself, it''s a party (oh, and I HATE big parties, always have - this one is kind of big, but it''s older people, friends of my parents, it''s nice) there will be wine, and food, it''s a chance to get out a little bit. I''ve gotta talk myself into it.
 

CJ2008

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So glad to hear there are others out there like me...


Growing up it was such a PAIN to be this way - my friends just didn't get why I hated being invited to every damn party and communion and birthday and whatever excuse get-together haha

ETA and what's worse is they kept inviting me anyway ahaha
 

tlh

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Date: 3/13/2009 12:38:42 PM
Author: CJ2008
So glad to hear there are others out there like me...


Growing up it was such a PAIN to be this way - my friends just didn''t get why I hated being invited to every damn party and communion and birthday and whatever excuse get-together haha

ETA and what''s worse is they kept inviting me anyway ahaha
It''s always better to receive an invitation and politely DECLINE, than to never receive any invitations at all. Shows you are loved!
 

trillionaire

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I usually get excited about events, all up until the day of. Then I feel tired and lazy, and have to be talked into going. Half the time, I don''t go, the other half, I force myself too, and I have a grand time and am always happy that I went.

 

April20

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I get this way sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. I find that often the effort to get ready and actually go are just not worth it to me. I can be pulled out to the local pub for a quick bit, but I''ve blown off tons of things that I fully intended on attending and when it came down too it, I just didn''t feel like it. Some things I''ve regretted, others not so much.

I find it also depends on if the event is a day thing or a night thing. I HATE going out at night, especially in the winter. Once I''m in, I''m in. Do not try and pull me out. I''m not getting dressed again, I''m not putting on makeup, etc.

Now that I home office, I get a little stir crazy if I don''t go places when I haven''t been traveling for a few days. I went out today and met my co-worker (she also home offices) for lunch. It was a great diversion and I never once thought to cancel!
 

diamondsrock

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I get like that a lot. Socializing drains me and I am an introvert. I have since learned about my personality type and it has really taught me a lot about myself and why I am the way I am. It''s also nice to know there are others like you out there and you''re not abnormal!
This is the link
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

it''s kind of interesting if you''ve got a few minutes.
 

Kaleigh

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It takes a lot for me to want to go out. If it''s a party and I know lots of people, fine, I will go. But many times, I''d rather kick back and relax at home. Hubby is the opposite, he wants to go to everything. When we were in FLA last week, we were out every night with friends. Got to be exhausting,. but we did have a great time.
 

Octavia

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I like being alone, and I also like being around friends -- but on my terms. I love having people over, but I don''t like going over to other peoples'' houses as much, and I''m kind of "meh" about going out to restaurants (which we do a lot, so I think it''s partly just overload). It''s worse in the winter, because I''m always cold and nobody ever heats their houses enough for me, so even if I bundle up, I spend the whole time huddled, freezing, and miserable. I also find that I''m more of a hermit when I''m overworked and overtired, which seems to be all the time lately...
 

MichelleCarmen

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CJ - Did you decide to go to the party?

My husband is like you are. Not wanting to go to any social event unless it's family. On the weekends he likes to stay home, mostly because he works long hours during the week and likes to relax when he gets a chance.

I'm in between. Really, it depends upon the people and the occasion and my mood. My preference is just meeting a few friends and chatting. Sometimes I don't mind actual parties, but what sucks is that until I get there, I have NO way of knowing if I'll find any people to chat with. Sometimes I do and other times, I just sit and drink my beer and space out!

Hope whatever you chose, you had a good night!
 

anyname

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i''m totally like that. I have absolutely no interest in going out in large groups or going out with most people in general. Partly because some of friends are so over the top dramatic and self involved that its just not fun to go out with them, and partly because i find no real reason to go out with people, if that makes sense. I like going out with my husband but the people i choose to spend my time with is very small.
 

Skippy123

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hehe I can be that way, but usually once I get to the party then I am glad I did go! It is just the getting ready etc that is the hardest part.
 

CJ2008

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Hi guys

diamondsrock - will definitely be trying that link/test!

MC - yes, did go to party...just got back a few minutes ago.

IT WAS SO NOT WORTH IT!

No really good food, some wine...but mostly people just sitting around long kind of empty tables. Weird, weird, weird. DH and I thought it was going to be kind of like a feast as far as food and wine and it was far from it...

We should have stayed home! (but I feel better that we went, for him...otherwise I''d be feeling guilty he missed out because of me). I just it didn''t take ALL of our Friday night...


Really, my favorite thing is something cozy, just hanging around talking, having wine...and definitely NOT loads of people but just a few I really like and/or feel comfortable with...I LOVE going to restaurants and eating and having wine (Octavia, I wish I could overload on going out to restaurants haha but I guess like anything, it could get old too)...
 

Tuckins1

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Tee-hee- You remind me of me! I used to be a party girl, but in my old age (of 28) I find that I have grown tires of that lifestyle. I only have so much to bs about, and then I am DONE. I especially get irritated with loud, sloppy drunks, and I cannot take smoke anymore, so I rarely go to bars. I guess i''m just an old fuddy-duddy!
 

chiapet

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Whew! I''m so glad that you started this post! I also prefer to stay at home and just relax. I hate the noise and having to scream to be heard when I''m in bars or parties.
Do you guys think it''s bad that we''re introverts and would rather be alone? Or is just a personality thing?
 

klewis

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Dec 21, 2008
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I''m a hermit but I admire those people who can flit about in social situations, able to say just the right thing - I wish I were able to do that. Actually, I can''t stand the incessant, seemingly meaningless chatter! Within a short time of being amongst it I start kind of excarnate (I don''t think that word exists but I hope you get the picture) Luckily I have lived with another hermit for 30 years. I think if your partner needs to be more social you just have to make some sacrifices though. We still get invited out frequently and now we just say, sincerely, "thank you for asking us but we won''t accept, we''re just so antisocial!" There''s no real comeback for it, it''s honest and it works well.

But, I like nothing more than spending time with the wonderful family and friends we have.
 

AGBF

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Date:
3/16/2009 5:12:38 AM
Author: klewis

Luckily I have lived with another hermit for 30 years.
klewis, is this your significant other or someone else? I think of you as being far too young to have a partner of 30 years, although you could, of course, have lived with a member of your nuclear family (family of origin) who is a hermit for 30 years! You have me puzzled and intrigued!

AGBF
 

klewis

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Hi AGBF

Yes, I have lived with my significant other for 30 years. I''m a 1955 baby! Actually it was July ''78 that we met and it certainly was a "meant to be" thing.
As far as hermit-ville goes, although I always had hermit tendencies but didn''t actually enter full hermit-hood until about 15 years ago. Before that we would just do things like leave social gatherings quite early and ever so quietly, then it developed into making excuses for why we were unable to attend eg., a visitor has turned up unexpectedly, then we got honest (mostly) and now we usually just decline outright. Hermit is an exaggeration, I don''t have a beard... neither of us do!
 

AGBF

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Date:
3/16/2009 7:37:56 PM
Author: klewis

Yes, I have lived with my significant other for 30 years. I'm a 1955 baby! Actually it was July '78 that we met and it certainly was a 'meant to be' thing.
Very cool! I wonder if the icon you used to use was what made "people" decide you were very young ;-). You see, Holly referred to you as, "my dear young man"...and why would I doubt that she knew you to be an-er-young man? Not that a 1955 baby isn't young, mind you! My little brother, whom I protected from other boys on our street when he was playing in the the road (things were quiet in those days), was a 1954 baby and, therefore, older than you! But I suspect you may be older than Holly ;-).

I am glad you found your match when you were young and that things worked out.

AGBF
 

klewis

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Date: 3/16/2009 8:19:43 PM
Author: AGBF









I am glad you found your match when you were young and that things worked out.


AGBF

Thanks, me too.
 

CJ2008

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Date: 3/15/2009 7:24:12 PM
Author: chiapet
Whew! I'm so glad that you started this post! I also prefer to stay at home and just relax. I hate the noise and having to scream to be heard when I'm in bars or parties.
Do you guys think it's bad that we're introverts and would rather be alone? Or is just a personality thing?
I don't think it's "bad" but I think it makes people feel you don't like them at times because they always want more time than you're willing to give them...I know I've often felt guilty for it...

And if I had ended up with a hermit, I'd be EXACTLY like Klewis...and I'd be loving it. Although I do appreciate that my DH forces me to come out of my shell - I've experienced certain things because of that that I wouldn't otherwise have.

ETA: Klewis - I have a question - do your hermit tendencies EVER extend to your friends and family? Because mine do...that's when I feel the most guilty...
 
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