Okay, girls... let me know if you would be highly mad and upset if your fiancee that you are marrying in nine days told you this...
Last night, I was complaining to him about us having such a long engagement. We have been engaged for a year and two months. When he first proposed, I wanted only a six month engagment, but he wouldn''t budge on it. It has just drug on!! Anyway, he told me that he needed that time to be sure it was the right thing to do. Wrong thing to say, and he realized it immediately. He started saying that he wanted to give me time to see if that''s what I really wanted... whatever!!
So, today, I told him that it really hurt my feelings. I told him that he shouldn''t have proposed unless he was ''sure''. I didn''t pressure him at all to propose to me! We hadn''t even really discussed marriage b/f he proposed. He said that he needed the time to start thinking of me as his fiancee instead of his girlfriend... and needed that time for his feelings to develop even more. I accepted this response and started feeling better.
Then, he called me late this afternoon, and I told him that I felt better about it. He decided that he was going to explain it better by using a simile..metaphor... whatever. He said that it is like how at work (he is an engineer), he has to make a decision using what data he has available. He said that when he proposed, he based that decision on the data that he had at the time hoping for a good result. But, he said, it takes more data b/f you can determine whether or not you''ve made the right decision. The year gave him time to collect more data, and he indeed had might the right choice.
Now, I am more mad than I was the first time at the whole needing a year to be sure comment. Everything worked out fine in the end, but I don''t understand why you would propose to someone unless you are absolutely sure at that moment!! This takes all the love and romance out of the whole thing and makes me feel like a scientific experiment that just happened to go right.
How would you all feel if your fiancee that you are about to marry told you this???
Last night, I was complaining to him about us having such a long engagement. We have been engaged for a year and two months. When he first proposed, I wanted only a six month engagment, but he wouldn''t budge on it. It has just drug on!! Anyway, he told me that he needed that time to be sure it was the right thing to do. Wrong thing to say, and he realized it immediately. He started saying that he wanted to give me time to see if that''s what I really wanted... whatever!!
So, today, I told him that it really hurt my feelings. I told him that he shouldn''t have proposed unless he was ''sure''. I didn''t pressure him at all to propose to me! We hadn''t even really discussed marriage b/f he proposed. He said that he needed the time to start thinking of me as his fiancee instead of his girlfriend... and needed that time for his feelings to develop even more. I accepted this response and started feeling better.
Then, he called me late this afternoon, and I told him that I felt better about it. He decided that he was going to explain it better by using a simile..metaphor... whatever. He said that it is like how at work (he is an engineer), he has to make a decision using what data he has available. He said that when he proposed, he based that decision on the data that he had at the time hoping for a good result. But, he said, it takes more data b/f you can determine whether or not you''ve made the right decision. The year gave him time to collect more data, and he indeed had might the right choice.
Now, I am more mad than I was the first time at the whole needing a year to be sure comment. Everything worked out fine in the end, but I don''t understand why you would propose to someone unless you are absolutely sure at that moment!! This takes all the love and romance out of the whole thing and makes me feel like a scientific experiment that just happened to go right.
How would you all feel if your fiancee that you are about to marry told you this???
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